Return to Me
by Axel-KH
Summary: Feelings grow, boundaries between SOLDIER and infantryman fall away. Cloud and Zack realize that maybe it's okay for them to love each other this way, but the world seems to have other plans. Will they be able to fight it this time? Set in time of CC.
1. Chapter 1

From the first time he saw him, Zack knew that Cloud was something special. It all happened on that fateful day in Modeoheim. Normally, Zack would have considered a helicopter crash in the middle of a freezing cold, snowy mountain to be a bad thing, but it it weren't for that, he might never have formally met Cloud. They had hit it off right away, discovering what they had in common, and quickly making friends with each other. This meeting wasn't the first time, however, that Cloud had laid eyes on Zack. He'd looked up to him as an idol, the perfect example of what a SOLDIER should be. Cloud knew, even just from watching Zack from the sidelines, that he was kind and patient, unlike most of the SOLDIER who abused their power of authority. Before they had met, Cloud had never expected Zack to acknowledge his existence—after all, he was of a low rank that most SOLDIERs looked down upon—and he was content with that. But it didn't take him long to realize that Zack didn't care about rank; he treated Cloud as an equal, as a friend, and Cloud started to wonder if it was ever okay for certain boundaries to fall away.

* * *

><p>Zack awoke to the sharp buzzing of his alarm clock. He kept his eyes shut tight, hoping that would stop the sound so he could go back to sleep. He eventually slapped the snooze button in annoyance and lay his head back down. A sigh emerged from the face buried in the pillow. <em>What has it been 3 hours? Maybe 4?<em> he wondered. Exhaustion was soon going to be pretty obvious for everyone around him to see. He wanted to act as if his last mission had never happened. Zack was a fellow who did not like to disappoint people by not flashing his smile every day of his life. Smiling was just something that was natural for him, and the world felt upside down when he didn't do it. But it was going to get harder to keep up considering his lack of sleep.

The alarm went off again and Zack let out a whimper at the realization of how fast his nine minutes of snooze time had gone by. He turned the clock off this time and dragged himself out of bed. He walked into the bathroom, looked into the mirror, and started his day off like he started every other day—with a smile. This morning it was forced, but it would have to do.

* * *

><p>Cloud had come back from Modeoheim feeling more cheerful than was normal for him. Regardless of the fact that the mission had been work, he had enjoyed himself. Travelling with 1st class SOLDIER Zack was nothing short of fun (though he would never admit it to his superiors), and it was a privilege that not all infantrymen got to experience. Zack had a kind of pleasant glow that kept Cloud smiling for the whole trip back to Midgar. He had kept an eye open for the next few days, hoping to see Zack, even if only to say hi. But after a week of waiting and seeing no sign of Zack, Cloud went back to doing his job, silently hoping that Zack would return before long. He didn't want that afterglow that Zack had left on him to fade away.<p>

Of course, it was not like he spent all his time waiting for Zack because he had a job, and Shinra had no use for employees who neglected to work. Cloud sometimes wondered if Shinra really had any use for him at all. He was probably the smallest and weakest man in the lowest class of Shinra fighters. But of course there were lots of reasons why he personally wanted to stay, some of which he kept to himself. Zack had recently become one of those reasons. Cloud had not one, but two friends now—counting Luxiere—which automatically gave him more of a reason to stay in Shinra than to go home, because he wasn't the most popular guy in Nibelheim. Besides, becoming SOLDIER himself was his main reason for coming to Shinra in the first place, and he hoped that by aspiring to be like Zack, he could one day achieve that goal.

So he stayed in the cold building as the underdog, taking orders from whoever gave them to him, regardless of how rough things got at times. The one thing he liked about working for Shinra was that there was always something going on. Whether it be missions, or gossip, or fights, or even just the mystery of what was being served in the cafeteria, Cloud was never bored. And with his growing anxiety over his new friend's absence, when Shinra affairs weren't on his mind, Zack was. Throw that all together, and bingo; Cloud's thoughts in a nutshell.

Cloud got up, showered, dressed, and headed down for breakfast for the start of another long day. It had been two weeks since he'd last seen Zack—they had last met up in Junon—and he couldn't get him out of his head. Even with the excitement of daily life, Zack seemed to be his mind's most prominent topic. Cloud knew several reasons why, but he focused on only one; Zack was one of exactly two people who had been truly nice to him since he had joined Shinra. It was only natural for Cloud to gravitate towards someone who treated him like a human being rather than another faceless cadet. But this connection that Zack had with him, even though it was newly formed, seemed special. SOLDIERs befriending infantrymen was pretty much unheard of in Shinra due to the difference in rank, yet Zack seemed so comfortable with him, like there _were_ no such boundaries dividing them.

Cloud liked the thought of this. Zack was human as well. He could see that Cloud—like everyone else—had feelings and liked to be noticed for having them. Zack was real, not some god or perfect being that was out of Cloud's reach. He could idolize him and be on the same level as him at the same time. Cloud could only hope that one day he could be like him.

Cloud barely knew him, yet he was thinking about Zack all the time since he met him. Zack this, and Zack that. He spent so much time thinking about the SOLDIER, in fact, that it was starting to get him into embarrassing situations; Quite often, in fact.

"What'cha thinkin' about?" Luxiere asked, sitting down beside Cloud in the cafeteria, startling him as he did so.

"N-nothing," Cloud answered, picking up the fork that he had accidentally dropped on the table as a result of his fright.

"You on edge about something?" Luxiere asked. He stuck his fork into his scrambled eggs and took a mouthful.

"No, I just didn't expect you." Cloud resumed eating the food that he had earlier become distracted from, in hopes of recovering from the lame excuse. Luxiere knew that Cloud could sometimes be a deep thinker, and thought nothing of his spacing out. Of course, he wasn't totally oblivious to the fact that Cloud's daydreams were becoming more frequent as of late.

The two finished their breakfast, making light conversation about the weather and their training for the day. They were friends, but they rarely had any deep or emotional conversations. They were roommates and cadets of the same rank. They had the same things in common, which made communication easy for them, but neither could deny that their conversations were often dull. Small talk could only be interesting for so long.

Cloud was just about to start in on another topic of their conversation when he caught sight of a familiar head of spiky black hair. It was a bit different now, however. When they had returned from Modeoheim, Zack had gotten rid of his bangs and now had a long wisp of hair that hung down in front. It made him look older, more mature, possibly more _attractive_. Cloud felt his eyes lingering on Zack, taking in every inch of him to make sure he wasn't dreaming him up or mistaking him for someone else, but it didn't take him long to confirm that the SOLDIER was truly there.

"Hey, Luxiere, I'll catch up with you later, okay?" Cloud said, getting up from his seat. Luxiere almost began to protest, but decided not to bother when he realized that Cloud's eyes were set on something else, and that the boy probably wouldn't stay if he tried to hold him back. Luxiere just sighed halfheartedly and cleaned up his tray, as well as the tray of the younger cadet, as Cloud hurried to the front of the cafeteria, only to realize that Zack had already left.

* * *

><p>Tseng looked down at his desk which was full of paperwork. <em>Lovely<em>, he thought sarcastically. He let out a sigh and started in on his work. Tseng brought his coffee up to his lips and began taking a drink. At least it was quiet. Reno wasn't bugging him like he usually did, and Zack—

"Hey, Tseng!" Zack's voice called out as he burst through the door to the office, and causing Tseng to spill his coffee all over his work. He stared at Zack with a look of obvious disapproval for a long while, not saying anything. When Zack eventually started to shrink under his gaze, he reached into his drawer for something to mop up the mess.

"I didn't expect you to be here. I forgot your vacation was over," Tseng said, sounding more than a little annoyed. Zack almost found it kind of humorous since the man hardly ever showed any emotion at all.

"Ah, does that mean you didn't miss me?" Zack pretended to pout.

"Well, you know it was me who gave you a vacation in the first place. I wouldn't have sent you away if it was going to bother me." Tseng pressed a cloth to his papers, trying to soak some of the liquid out off them, then wiped off the desk as well.

"So what you're saying is...?"

"I didn't miss you," Tseng said, looking Zack straight in the eye. Zack rubbed his hand against the back of his head.

"Way harsh, Tseng," the SOLDIER responded, grinning slightly in amusement. "Okay, so what work do you have for me? I know that's what you want me here for."

"I have no urgent mission for you at the moment," Tseng said, tossing the coffee-soaked cloth into the garbage. "Therefore, I will put you in charge of training the lower classes for a while."

"Training?" Zack questioned, looking disappointed. Training seemed like such an insipid task after all he'd been through lately.

"Yes. Zack, we're down to a minimal amount of SOLDIER now. Angeal was in charge of a lot of the training, but—" Tseng stopped when he saw Zack flinch.

"Sorry. Go on," Zack encouraged.

"I know Angeal's death was hard on you. That's why I think it's best that you take it easy for now and train the cadets. You'll be doing everyone a favor that way."

"Okay," Zack answered, hanging his head low.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Tseng said, glancing up at the SOLDIER. "I have some coffee-stained paperwork to attend to."

Tseng watched as the SOLDIER solemnly left the office, staring at the ground as he did. The Turk honestly did feel sorry for him, but he knew Zack well enough to know he would bounce back before long. Tseng poured himself some more coffee from the coffee-maker and took a gulp of it as he opened the drawer of his desk. He pulled out a stack of papers that he needed reports on before he could officially file them away. _Killed in Action _was written in bold letters on all the pages. Angeal's paper was on top. Tseng sighed out of sympathy for Zack. It would still be a while before he recovered enough from his mentor's death to give Shinra the information they needed.

* * *

><p>Finally lunchtime came, and Zack walked into the cafeteria searching for a familiar face. Shinra felt like a different place without Angeal there. It felt dark, hollow, even a little eerie. Angeal had been Zack's best friend, not just a mentor, so Zack felt more alone now than ever. He sighed when he saw Kunsel. Kunsel <em>was not<em> the kind of friend he needed right now. He needed someone he could confide in, and Kunsel was more of a hear-and-tell kind of guy. Zack was still very fragile, and fragility was not something he was used to. He was used to being mister happy-go-lucky all the time, and dealing with real pain was harder than he thought it would be. Healing, even Zack knew, didn't happen overnight.

Zack scanned the cafeteria, and when he saw Kunsel give him a wave and start heading in his direction, Zack searched even more desperately for someone else to talk to, pretending not to see Kunsel at all. A smile found its way across his face as he spotted a thin blond boy standing in line waiting for his food.

"Cloud!" Zack called out. The blond looked around and smiled when his eyes found their way to Zack. He could hardly contain himself. He suddenly felt so much better now that Zack had returned to Shinra, almost as if it was a safer place with him there.

The SOLDIER made his way across the cafeteria to where Cloud was standing, which made Cloud nervous and excited all at the same time. Of course, any other cadet would have felt the same way if a 1st was bothering to talk to him.

"How have you been?" Zack asked, throwing an arm playfully onto the boy's shoulder.

"Fine. I've been wondering what happened to you, though. I haven't seen you since the mission in Junon," Cloud answered, grabbing an apple from the buffet table and placing it on his tray. He tried to keep his smile from growing too wide. Seeing the SOLDIER in front of him hardly seemed real after his long wait for his return.

"Hey, at least _someone_ cares!" Zack grinned. "Tseng said he didn't miss me. He sent me on a vacation after that mission in Modeoheim. It was cut short, though, because of that incident in Junon."

"Vacation? So, I'm guessing the mission in Modeoheim—"

"Didn't have a good ending? No, it didn't." Zack averted his gaze to the floor. He couldn't let this get the better of him. Not here, not now.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said, unsure if he should ask about it further or not. "If you ever want to talk about it, or something..."

"Yeah, I'll come and take you up on your offer."

"H-how did you know I was going to say you could talk to _me_?" Cloud asked, embarrassedly. The thought of a private conversation between the two of them suddenly seemed to stir something inside him. He knew what it was, and he knew it was wrong. SOLDIER and cadet were not supposed to talk like that. A cadet was _certainly not_ supposed to talk to his _superior_ that way. Cloud immediately wondered why he had suggested them talking in the first place. Why would Zack confide in him?

_He was probably just being nice on that mission. What was I thinking? Why would he actually want to be friends with me? _Cloud wondered, briefly. He then quickly reminded himself that it was _Zack_ who had just approached _him_ for a conversation, and he felt slightly relieved.

"Well, come on. What else were you going to say? 'If you want to talk, then it sucks to be you' or something?"

Cloud chuckled quietly. He assumed that by the way Zack was joking around, things must not have been too bad. At least he hoped they weren't too bad. Maybe Zack was just good at hiding his emotions.

"I guess I'll be seeing you a lot now," Zack said, feeling quite happy at the thought when he realized that he had kind of missed the boy.

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?" Cloud asked.

"Training. Apparently, I'm gonna be your instructor for a while."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Zack cast a glance at Cloud's tray and grabbed an apple as well.

"Well, I suppose I should go prepare for the training session," he said. He honestly didn't want to leave, but he had absolutely nothing ready for his lesson, not even a plan. Cloud smiled and nodded, and Zack grinned, giving Cloud a playful punch in the arm as he headed out of the cafeteria. Luxiere walked up beside Cloud and elbowed him in the side, causing him to tear his eyes away from the departing Zack.

"Well, aren't you all smiles," Luxiere said, smirking. "You have a little crush, Cloud?"

"N-no! He's just a friend. I only met him a few weeks ago!" Cloud defended himself.

"Hey, hey, calm down. I was only kidding. Anyway, 1st class Fair naturally has that effect on people. He's just so damn cheerful."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. He wondered if Zack had a blushing effect on people too, as he could feel his cheeks increasing in temperature as long as he was around. Luxiere gave Cloud a grin that went unnoticed, and he started to wonder about the cause of Cloud's unusually sanguine disposition. Of course, it wasn't every day one got to talk to a 1st class SOLDIER, so Luxiere would give Cloud the benefit of the doubt. For now.

* * *

><p>AN: Hi there, readers! I finished this story a few months ago, and it's just been kind of sitting around, being edited piece by piece, over and over again. Finally, I decided to start uploading it. Just a few notes. I'll try to update every week, since the whole story is already written. I like to perfect things before I upload them, though, so I can't promise weekly updates, but I will try. Another thing, I know that Luxiere is actually in SOLDIER in Crisis Core (I think he's 2nd class). In my story, he's an infantryman, but his role will make more sense as the story progresses. As you probably already figured out, this is a Cloud/Zack romance fic. If you don't like it, how did you even find this? Anyway, it's rated M for later chapters (one in particular). I guess that's it for now. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are nice, but no flames, please. I don't need my story torn apart since I wrote it for fun.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, troops," Zack said, pacing along in front of the cadets who were all packed into the training room. Zack had broken the men into groups and would train them on different days because of the immense number of them. He had to admit he was not exactly relaxed. All these men looked up to him, and he didn't want to let them down. More than anything, he didn't want to let himself down. He was training these men in Angeal's place, and therefore, he felt that he needed to live up to what Angeal was. Or rather, _had been_.

"First of all, I want you to take off your helmets. You're used to being told to keep them on, I know, but I like to see faces, not masks. It lets me know who I'm talking to." All the cadets immediately took off their helmets and tucked them under their arms.

"That's better," Zack smiled. He gave Cloud a wink when he saw him, which caused Cloud to lower his head to hide a blush. He hoped no one had noticed.

"Now, I want everyone to pick a sparring partner. I realize that you're specialized in using guns, but swords are important, too. Next time, we'll have hand-to-hand combat and work on throwing opponents. Okay, pair up!" Zack watched as everyone found a partner and was pleasantly surprised to have an even number of cadets present.

"Alright. Now, everyone get a sword from the armoury, find a spot somewhere for you and your partner, and begin practicing vertical and horizontal swings. One person should swing while the other blocks, then switch it up," Zack commanded. The infantrymen did as they were told and started in on their assigned work. The SOLDIER walked slowly around the training room, analyzing each cadet's movements, giving a 'good work' or 'try it like this' where it seemed necessary. He eventually made his way to Cloud who seemed to lose his concentration as soon as he felt the SOLDIER watching him. Zack noticed this, but didn't say anything about it. He was too busy wondering why he was such a big deal, like a celebrity at Shinra. He merely thought of himself as just another person. Yet, the way Cloud had looked at him earlier today made him feel like he was so much more. Not to mention, the uneasiness in his stomach was trying to tell him that Cloud was something more to him, too. Zack didn't usually clue into things very quickly, however, and so he didn't dwell on it too much.

"Hey, it's Luxiere, right?" Zack asked, looking at Cloud's partner.

"Yes, sir," he answered.

"Try swinging a little harder, and try to keep the blade going in a straight line," Zack said. "Cloud, you try blocking." Cloud nodded and got into his parrying stance. Luxiere began swinging again, trying to do as Zack had instructed. Zack put a hand to Luxiere's arm, guiding his sword through the correct movements. He did this over and over until he felt that the man had gotten the hang of it.

"Now try it on your own," Zack instructed. Luxiere did so, and grinned when he saw the improvement. Even Cloud nodded in approval at the apparent change in technique.

"Good. Keep that up and you'll be an expert in no time," Zack said, moving on to the next pair. He didn't want to stay with Cloud and Luxiere for too long because he had the feeling that he made Cloud uncomfortable when he was near. Cloud wasn't the only one uncomfortable, however, since Zack's stomach had started doing flips every time Cloud had caught his eye during the training session. Suddenly, Zack realized that this persistent sick feeling was familiar. He'd felt this way before, but never this intensely, and never because of another guy. But Zack did his best to keep a level head, and figured he was just lonely. Plus, he was lacking a good sleep. He hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep since before Angeal's death. It was no surprise that his body was acting strangely.

Zack had been thinking all day about who he could talk to about Angeal. Kunsel had been ruled out since the beginning due to his big mouth, and Tseng was a busy man who didn't care about Zack's problems in the first place. Sure, there were other SOLDIERs he knew, but he doubted they would be interested in his story. Zack just needed a good listener so he could get off his chest what he'd been holding in for weeks. And finally, he decided to talk to the one person who had made the trip to Modeoheim at least a little bit enjoyable. After all, he _had_ offered to listen.

Training soon ended, and Cloud realized as he put his sword away that he felt kind of let down. Zack had given Luxiere all the help, not him. Luxiere noticed Cloud's lack of enthusiasm immediately.

"Hey, what happened to the good mood, Cloud?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm just a little tired, that's all," Cloud lied, walking quietly out of the room. Luxiere let it go, figuring Cloud would come around after a bit.

Once he was out of the armoury, Cloud brushed his hands over his slightly wrinkled uniform, and waited for Luxiere. He looked up when he heard footsteps coming towards him.

"Cloud, are you busy after this?" Zack asked. Cloud slowly looked up, and wondered if he was dreaming or not. When Zack gave him a light pat on the shoulder—probably to rid him of the blank stare he was giving—he decided that the Zack in front of him was real.

"Uh, no. I'm free," Cloud answered, amazed that he had even heard the question.

"You wouldn't mind taking a walk with me then, would you?" Zack's stomach fluttered just at the simple question. Cloud smiled and shook his head.

"N-not at all." He was blushing again. He could feel it.

"Alright. Meet me in the lobby in ten minutes. We'll leave from there," Zack smiled, walking off. Cloud stared after him in awe, and after a few seconds, he felt his lips curl up into a smile. His heart was pounding, and his hands were shaky, but somehow, it felt okay.

* * *

><p>Zack closed up the armoury and turned off the training room lights as he left. Then he ducked into a nearby washroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked exhausted and not like himself at all. He knew he was pushing himself just to be back at Shinra. Everything was different now with Angeal gone. At least, it was for him.<p>

Zack turned on the taps and splashed some water on his face, trying to wake himself up, or to at least look a little more alive than he did now. He figured that if he went out looking like that, Cloud might be worried he would drop dead or something, and he sure didn't want to scare the boy off. Zack grabbed some paper towel from the dispenser and dried himself off.

"Better," he sighed, still not completely satisfied, but knowing there wasn't much else he could do. He turned the taps off and leaned against the sink. He began to wonder if Cloud really did mind going for a walk. From what he could tell, the boy was self-conscious, and probably wouldn't want to draw any attention to himself by being with a SOLDIER. But Zack needed him right now to get this weight lifted before he broke beneath it. _An hour at the most. That's all I need._ He headed out the bathroom door, desperately wishing his stomach didn't still feel so unsettled.

* * *

><p>The two met in the lobby as planned and walked around outside the building without a particular destination in mind. It felt good to get out for a reason other than a mission. Cloud smiled as he breathed in the fresh air. If he hadn't been with a 1st, he would not have been allowed out. He wasn't used to this freedom for the sole reason that he only received it because of Zack. Thankfully, this idea of freedom had distracted him from his nervousness of being with the SOLDIER.<p>

"It was after I left you and Tseng in Modeoheim that things went badly," Zack started, once they were far enough away from Shinra. He didn't want to be caught telling classified information to an infantryman. He figured it went against the company's policy to do so, but Cloud was a friend, and to Zack, friendship ruled over class. Cloud skipped ahead a few paces to catch up with Zack so he would be sure to hear his story.

"I found Angeal, but he was- Well..." Zack paused, trying to come up with something besides the truth. His heart and his unsteady emotions were telling him that he wasn't ready to share that yet. The last thing he wanted was to start crying in front of Cloud.

"He was attacked by a band of monsters. H-he died." Zack dropped his head down. He didn't know what hurt worse: telling a lie which was probably an act of dishonor to Angeal, or hiding the truth for the selfish reason of not causing himself pain.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said, not knowing how else to respond.

"He was my best friend, you know? It just hurts. I don't even know what happened to him in the last few months of his life. He shut me out."

Cloud looked up at Zack briefly. Something about him was strikingly appealing in that moment; the sun shining down on him in his moment of torment and confusion. Zack was hurting, and he was lost, but Cloud thought the look brought out some sort of beauty in him. He didn't know how or why, but he was stunning. Cloud was instantly ashamed for looking at his friend that way. He spoke up to distract himself.

"I've never experienced someone's death before, but I do kind of know what it's like to lose someone. I mean, I know this is a completely different circumstance, but my father left when I was young. B-but I didn't mean to make this talk about me. So, you really have no idea what Angeal was trying to do when he left Shinra?" Cloud asked, getting away from the subject of his family as quickly as he could. Zack was too distracted by his thoughts on Angeal to notice Cloud's unease.

"Not a clue," Zack answered, and that part was not a lie.

* * *

><p>The more time they spent with each other, the more relaxed Zack became and the more his mood improved. One hour with Cloud soon turned into three. Zack walked Cloud back to his room, even though Cloud told him several times that it wasn't necessary. The truth was, Cloud would have loved to spend the whole night with him, but knew it was probably for the better that he didn't. He didn't want to end up saying something stupid. The more he thought about the comfort he got from their togetherness, however, the easier it was to be with Zack. There was no reason to be nervous around him. Well, yeah, there was; those stupid, pesky romantic feelings that threatened to surface.<p>

"So, I'll see you around, right?" Zack asked, using the question as a way of trying to encourage the boy to keep in contact. He hadn't had the conversation he'd wanted to get out in the open, but his friend's company had at least made him feel better.

"For sure. And, uh, thanks, Zack," Cloud said. He lowered his head. The dreaded blush was back. At least it was only light.

"Thanks? For what?" Zack questioned, tilting his head in confusion. He couldn't help but grin a little. The boy was kind of cute when he was flustered.

"Well, um, you treat me like your friend even though you're a SOLDIER."

"SOLDIER's just a title. I'm a person, just like you. Besides, I treat you like a friend because you _are_ my friend," Zack grinned. He playfully nudged Cloud's chin with his fist. Cloud laughed lightly with excitement from the contact, which caused Zack to smile wider. Cloud tried to hide his cheeks again, which had deepened in color, but the SOLDIER was already quite aware of the boy's abashment.

"Thank you, too, Cloud."

"F-for what?" Cloud asked.

"For listening to me. I know it was probably weird for you since we don't really know each other all that well."

"Well, w-we're friends, and that's what friends do, right?" Cloud asked, getting himself under control again.

"Yeah, that's right." Zack grinned. Cloud bit his lip, and Zack's attention was suddenly drawn to them. _Those lips_... That was the first time Zack had really noticed how soft those lips looked, and for some reason, he suddenly thought of the moment as a romantic one. His mind filled with an image of him slipping an arm around Cloud's neck and tenderly kissing those pink, unsuspecting lips. He shook his head quickly, and hoped his friend hadn't noticed his change in facial expression. He put a hand to his temple and sighed. He really needed sleep.

"You okay, Zack?" Cloud asked.

"Y-yeah. Sudden headache. I'll be okay," Zack lied, trying to regain his smile.

"If you're sure," Cloud said, uncertainly. He wondered whether it was the lighting, or if Zack's cheeks had a light dusting of pink on them as well.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Cloud nodded and gave Zack one last smile as he entered his room. Zack watched as Cloud disappeared behind the door, and then turned to head for his own quarters. Cloud closed the door behind him and leaned his back against it, smiling. The afterglow was back, and he knew it was so strong that it would take him a while to get to sleep, but it didn't bother him one bit.

* * *

><p>Zack collapsed on the bed as soon as he made it into his bedroom. He stared up at the ceiling and breathed deeply, running a hand through his hair. Why had he thought of Cloud in a more than friendly way when they were back in that hallway? He pondered the question, going over it again and again until the words no longer made sense in his mind. Zack took his armour and belts off and threw them on the floor before pulling the covers up over himself. He was too tired to even get fully undressed. And he figured that after a good sleep, the event with Cloud would turn out to be a simple result of fatigue, which he expected from the start. If only he could get that decent sleep that he so desperately needed, but memories of Angeal had seemed to prevent that from happening ever since his death. All he needed was some comfort.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Morning came much too soon for both the SOLDIER and the infantryman. Zack heard his alarm and was too tired to figure out how to turn it off. Eventually, he had to roll himself off the bed and onto the floor to wake himself up enough to get moving. Luxiere had to come back into the room three times to wake Cloud before he actually got up. Once the day's training session crossed their minds, however, their attitudes towards waking up became a little more positive for the sole reason that they would see each other again.

* * *

><p>The training session focused on hand combat and throws, just as Zack had promised. Cloud quickly discovered that he was no good at fist fighting, and he was especially bad at throwing. Luxiere was bigger and stronger than him and, therefore, he didn't stand a chance. He could barely lift Luxiere off the ground, let alone throw him. So the two focused on the fist fighting aspect of the training instead since Cloud's size actually gave him a fair chance at it, even if he lacked the skill.<p>

Zack walked around the training room again, watching each cadet carefully and giving pointers when they were needed. Cloud was ashamed to have so little talent in both areas that he was training in, and he sure didn't want Zack to see how inadequate he was.

Zack did not, however, come over to check on Cloud and Luxiere, much to Cloud's relief, as the session ended before Zack had time to do so. Unfortunately for Cloud, Zack had seen his difficulties during the lesson and had been kind enough not to point it out in front of the others. Zack dismissed the troops, and Cloud gave Zack a fleeting look, but it was enough for Zack to catch it and give him a smile.

"Cadet Strife, can I see you for a sec?" Zack asked, not too loudly, as to not embarrass him.

Luxiere started out of the room, then glanced back at Cloud who wasn't moving from his spot. The blond nodded to his friend to go on ahead—even though he would have preferred to go with him—and Luxiere did not bother to argue. Zack began tidying up the mats that were on the floor until everyone had cleared out, then he turned to Cloud.

"So, did you have some trouble with the training today?" he asked. Cloud began fiddling uncomfortably with the cuff of his sleeve.

"Sort of."

"I didn't want to embarrass you during the session. I wondered if you'd want some extra help now?" Cloud slowly looked up at the SOLDIER.

"I, uh..." Cloud glanced at the training room door where everyone else had escaped, then back at Zack. He had no reason to be nervous. No one was going to be watching.

"Okay."

"Great!" Zack smiled. "So what are you having the most trouble with?"

"The throws, mostly," Cloud answered, honestly, even though he doubted there was much Zack could do to help him. Zack seemed determined to try, nonetheless. He decided he would at least teach Cloud the proper technique so he could perform it if he ever needed to defend himself.

Zack led Cloud to the middle of the floor, then turned to face him. He swallowed hard and hoped that he could push past the urges he was feeling, the same urges that he'd had the night before in the hallway with Cloud.

"So, the first thing you want to do is practice grabbing your opponent by the arm and swinging or throwing. You try," Zack said, holding out his arm. Cloud nodded and took hold of it.

"Okay, now try to swing me out of the way."

Cloud tried spinning to get some momentum, but realized he couldn't turn a whole circle while holding on to Zack. He heard the SOLDIER stifle a chuckle, but he tried to ignore him, wanting only to impress him. He tried simply to push Zack away by putting his weight against Zack's arm, but the SOLDIER didn't budge. Cloud suddenly blushed when he realized how strong Zack was, and when he realized that he'd been holding on to his arm for a while. Zack noticed this as well, but he didn't at all mind the contact.

"It's not easy, is it?" Zack asked. Cloud tried not to let Zack see his red face as he replied with a quiet _no_. Then Cloud figured it out. He stepped behind Zack while still holding on to his arm, then ran, sending an unsuspecting SOLDIER flying a few steps away from him. When Zack caught his footing, he looked back at Cloud and rubbed the back of his head.

"G-good job. I didn't expect that."

Cloud smiled, slightly embarrassed from the praise.

"Now, I want to show you a throw that you can perform from behind. I don't think you'd be able to do it to me since I'm quite a bit bigger and heavier than you are," Zack said.

"Sorry for being tiny," Cloud said, staring at the ground. He hated being the smallest cadet in the bunch. He knew Zack wasn't trying to offend him; He was just trying to protect him from hurting himself.

"You don't have to apologize. You're perfect the way you are, anyway" Zack smiled, and Cloud wiped the bleak expression from his face. Zack knew the remark had probably been inappropriate, but sometimes he was honest to a fault. Besides, Cloud hadn't seemed to mind.

"Is it okay if I demonstrate the throw on you? I won't actually throw you, I'll let you down easy."

"Okay," Cloud said. Zack beckoned him and Cloud walked over close to him.

"Turn," Zack softly instructed. His voice was so soft, in fact, that he felt as if he was talking to a lover. He quickly pushed the thought away. Cloud turned so that his back was to Zack, and was startled when he felt Zack's arms around his waist seconds later.

"You okay?" Zack asked, when he heard a little gasp from Cloud.

"Y-yeah, fine. I just wasn't expecting it," Cloud answered. He could feel his cheeks warming up, not to mention a slight tightness in his pants. Cloud immediately began mentally scolding himself. This was nothing to get worked up over. They were training, for crying out loud! Nothing was happening between them.

Zack tried to convince himself of the same thing, but it was getting difficult for him to concentrate. His vision was even starting to haze a bit. He knew it was wrong, but he liked the feel of Cloud in his arms much more than he should have. In fact, he should not have liked it at all, but it just grew stronger. He wanted to pull him closer. With all his efforts, however, he refrained.

"Okay, so when you attack enemies from behind, you can get them around the waist, pick them up, flip them over your shoulder, and throw them down on their back," Zack explained. Cloud nodded and waited to be lifted off the ground, but even after several seconds he was still in the same spot. Zack's arms remained around him and neither of them moved.

"Zack, a-aren't you supposed to throw me?"

"Yeah, I am," he answered. Cloud grew anxious. Zack's voice seemed distant, as if he were in some sort of dream. This was not the only thing that scared Cloud. He didn't want to think about how much he liked the feel of the SOLDIER's strong arms around him, and he was afraid to know why Zack couldn't pull away.

"Cloud," Zack whispered. The situation began to scare Cloud even more. He didn't like the way Zack had said his name. It was full of something that was not meant for instructor and cadet, or even friends. It was full of something more. Need? Adoration?

"I... I have to go," Cloud said, an urgency in his voice. With that, he broke free of Zack's hold, and hurriedly made his way out of the training room. He didn't look back, but Zack wished he had. He wanted to see his face again.

* * *

><p>Cloud spent the next week doing whatever he could to avoid Zack. He was terrified. <em>Did I do something wrong when we were training? Did I freeze up or something? Was I the one holding myself in his arms? <em>All he remembered was the way Zack's arms had lingered around him longer than they should have.

Cloud had ducked out of two of Zack's training sessions with the infantrymen, and had eaten his meals at times when he doubted Zack would be eating. It wasn't like Cloud's absence went unnoticed by Zack, however. People noticed when their friends went missing, and Zack had been somewhat a Cloud magnet since he had returned, so it was pretty obvious to him when there was a lack of Cloud's magnetic attraction. Yes, _attraction_ was the perfect word, and Zack knew it. It didn't make any sense to him, but lately he knew he had actually been _attracted_ to Cloud. He also knew that his actions in the training room had most likely scared Cloud off. Zack, still not one hundred percent positive of the cause of his friend's disappearance, decided not to let it slip by without investigating.

Cloud had long ago come to terms with the fact that he liked the SOLDIER in a more than friendly way, but the thought of Zack feeling the same way about him seemed like an impossibility. Cloud knew that Zack had more friends than just him. Not to mention, Zack had girls staring at him in admiration wherever he went. He had even heard rumours of Zack going out with different women, so he had to wonder why Zack would ever fall for him. What did he have that would possibly draw Zack to him? And if for some reason Zack did like him—though Cloud could fathom no reason why he would—he would have to do the right thing and save Zack the trouble of getting closer to him. It would be safer for both of them. The solution was simple: continue to avoid Zack.

* * *

><p>Zack went to Cloud's room and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was disappointed at first, but then he decided to just sit down and wait, not realizing that it was actually quite creepy to wait outside Cloud's door. Of course, Zack sometimes just didn't understand social norms.<p>

Zack was there for about forty minutes before Cloud showed up; Those forty minutes Zack spent both staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure out what in Jenova's name he was going to say to his friend. As soon as the cadet saw him he turned and started walking back the other way.

"Cloud! Cloud, wait! Please!" Zack shouted, getting to his feet and dashing after the blond. Cloud stopped when he realized he couldn't outrun Zack. On top of that, he didn't want to put up a racket that would bring the other cadets out of their rooms. Cloud turned to Zack and stared up at him.

"What?" Cloud asked, sounding quite rude, although he hadn't intended to.

"I-I'm sorry. Did I do something to upset you?" Zack asked. The worried look on Zack's face made Cloud want to apologize himself, even though he still wasn't sure who had been in the wrong before.

"N-no," Cloud answered, trying to walk away, but Zack grabbed his arm. Cloud tried not to panic as he realized Zack was starting to cross that dreaded line again. He doubted even SOLDIERs had the right to grab someone like that. His self-defence mechanism kicked in, and he searched for anything to get Zack to back off.

"Don't touch me! Or, are you actually going to throw me this time?" Cloud asked. Zack threw him a startled glance.

"That _is_ what this is about?" Zack asked, incredulously.

"Y-yeah. I mean, no, no it's n—" Cloud stopped speaking when Zack cornered him, a hand on the wall on either side of Cloud's head. Cloud did everything he could to make sure he didn't show any weakness. He slowed his breathing and kept it steady, not wanting Zack to know he was scared. In reality, Zack was even more scared. One wrong move, and he could send Cloud away from him forever.

"Look, I'm sorry, I should have stopped myself. I should have figured out that I couldn't trust myself to be near you like that."

"Be near me?" Cloud asked. His heart was beating faster and harder each second. It couldn't be. He couldn't feel like that. After all, it was all wrong. _No, Zack doesn't feel that way_, Cloud tried to convince himself. He could feel his confidence and frustration falling away.

"Of course, you didn't push me away at first either," Zack went on. This was when Zack realized the position he had the boy in. He was cornering him, probably scaring him. That feeling was back again, that romantic feeling. Of course, it had never really left. That first night in the hallway, the second time in the training room, and again now. There was no suppressing it anymore.

He looked at the boy in front of him. He didn't have a lot of time, he could tell by Cloud's face. He knew he would have to do something rash, and he would have to do it fast before Cloud took off.

"Zack, what are you talkin—mmm..." Cloud's words turned into a surprised moan as the SOLDIER pressed his lips up against those of the younger boy. Every doubt Cloud had ever had about Zack's feelings for him seemed to suddenly disintegrate inside his mind, if it were possible for thoughts to do that. Cloud's heart raced, and he wondered if this could possibly be real. He soon decided, however, that there was no way he could have imagined how Zack's warm breath felt on his skin.

Zack could hardly believe his actions. His lips seemed to act of their own will, pressing against and caressing the soft lips of the boy in front of him. He would have loved it had he not been so worried about what Cloud would do afterwards. Cloud didn't know how to kiss, or how to react to the situation. He simply closed his eyes and waited for it to end, though he couldn't say the contact was unpleasant.

Zack pulled away and let his arms fall back down to his sides. Cloud knew Zack was waiting for a reaction, but at the same time he had given him the choice to run. He cast a quick glance at his door, but knew that escaping to his room would not grant him the satisfaction he desired. If he left Zack now without answers, there was probably no chance of patching things up with him. Cloud's courage would fail him if he were to wait. He needed to know everything about Zack's intentions. He waited a minute until he was fairly sure his voice would sound normal if he were to speak. He could feel Zack watching him all the while.

"I don't understand," Cloud said, staring down at the floor. Zack said nothing for a minute, then spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you do that?" There was an even longer pause this time as Zack tried to come up with the simplest answer he could.

"Well," he started, almost shyly. "I think I might be in love with you." The words sounded stupid even to him. He could have laughed at himself. Why the hell had he thought that kissing Cloud would be a good idea? Was that really the best way of confessing his feelings to him?

Cloud was even more confused now. _Is this all a joke? Is Zack mocking me?_ Cloud was well aware that he had a low self esteem, but even aside from that, he honestly couldn't see any reason for Zack to find him appealing in any way. He figured he had to have been set up, that Zack had realized he liked him and had kissed him as a prank. Yet, if Zack's intentions were true, if he really was in love with Cloud, then that kiss should have been what Cloud wanted. After all, he wanted to be with Zack, didn't he? To be honest, Cloud wasn't quite sure what he wanted at the moment.

"Why? How could you be?" Cloud asked. His voice was shaking now, and he felt like he might start crying only because he assumed what Zack was saying couldn't possibly be true. Zack could see Cloud's discomfort.

"Why? I don't know. These things just happen sometimes," Zack told him, softly. Cloud said nothing, and Zack had a feeling he wasn't buying what he was being told.

"I guess it just kind of evolved from our friendship. I mean, I really liked you from the start, but then you were there to talk to after Angeal's death, and then what happened in the training room..." Zack decided to drop it there when he saw Cloud fidget uncomfortably. There was a moment of silence, and then the SOLDIER felt he had to break it again.

"Cloud, I don't know why, but I really like you. I really like being with you." Cloud nervously rubbed his arm, and remained silent. Zack took a careful step towards him and Cloud finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"If this is a joke, it's not funny," Cloud said, his face filled with an emotion that Zack couldn't quite place. Maybe it was because it was a bunch of emotions mixed together.

"Y-you think I'm joking?" Zack asked, raising his eyebrows. Cloud had to admit Zack looked a little hurt by his accusation. The cadet shrugged his shoulders.

"You could be."

"I'm not joking. I promise you, I would never do that. Besides, I wouldn't pull a move like that if I wasn't serious." Another moment of silence descended upon them.

"Look, maybe I was just reading the signs wrong, but... I thought you might have felt the same way, too," Zack said. Cloud stared up at him in disbelief for accusing him of such a thing. He had no right. Yet, the accusation was dead-on.

"You offered your shoulder for me to cry on, you usually blush when I talk to you, and you didn't pull away when I was holding you in the training room."

"_Holding_ me?" Cloud demanded. Zack nodded and raised his eyebrows as if to question what else he could have called his action.

"Zack, I'm sorry, but you'll have to give me some time to think about this," the blond said, lowering his voice again when he realized that everyone in their rooms had probably heard his last comment.

"Cloud, I—"

"Please. Some time."

Zack nodded, but felt like he was sinking in his disappointment. This was not how he had planned things. He wasn't even sure if Cloud believed him or not. Maybe he had come on too strongly.

Zack watched as Cloud proceeded back down the hall to his room after another minute of standing against the wall. He paused when he made it to his door, then Zack heard him say his name.

"Yeah?" the SOLDIER asked quickly, taking advantage of whatever would keep the conversation going.

"You really think you're in love with me?" Cloud asked him, finding it difficult to repeat the words. He kept his eyes on the door as he spoke. Zack nodded.

"Yeah. I really do."

Cloud nodded back, still neglecting to look at him.

"Goodnight, Zack," Cloud said, entering his room and closing the door behind him. Zack stared at the closed door and let out a sigh.

"Goodnight, Cloud." Zack turned and walked back down the hallway. Cloud stood on the other side of his door, listening as the SOLDIER's footsteps faded away. Everything started to sink in; the kiss, Zack's words that he was now starting to believe _had_ come from the heart, and now the realization that part of him didn't want Zack to leave.

* * *

><p>Zack got less sleep that night than he had been getting all along. He doubted he would see much of Cloud after the evening's events. If Cloud skipped out on any of his training sessions with the cadets, Zack could technically report him to one of his superiors, but he didn't want to get the boy into any more trouble on his account. He just had to hope that Cloud would show his face sometime soon, regardless of what his decision might be. From what Zack had learned so far, Cloud was very self-conscious. If he and Cloud were to get involved with each other, the cadet would certainly want to keep it just between them. It made no difference to Zack. Being together was the important thing. He just hoped their friendship wouldn't be endangered because of his bold act; That is, if Cloud were to reject him in the relationship department. But perhaps he had already made a move that was beyond salvaging their friendship.<p>

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Zack rolled over and grabbed his cellphone from his bedside table when its ringing woke him up.

"Hello?" Zack answered, groggily.

"Sleeping in? How unprofessional," Tseng said, jokingly, on the other end.

"Ugh, what do you want?"

"Hmm, someone's cranky in the morning. Just reminding you about the report regarding your mission in Junon. You never gave me one."

"Oh, right," Zack said, running a hand through his hair. "I've just... had a lot on my mind."

"I understand that," Tseng answered. Zack highly doubted that he could understand the extent of things going wrong.

"However, when you get the chance, could you please write up that report? Shinra values its information, as I'm sure you know."

"Yeah, I'll get it done," Zack said, sitting up and throwing the covers off himself, knowing he wouldn't get back to sleep anyway now that he had been awoken. He was used to the loss of sleep, though. First because of Angeal, and then because of Cloud. The boy had been missing from his training sessions all week, and Zack didn't need to be a scientist to know why.

"And, Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"When you're ready, I'll need the report on the Modeoheim mission as well." Tseng listened to nothing but a momentary silence on the other end. Zack's grasp on the phone became looser as his fingers began to tremble. The recent events with Cloud were enough to distract him some from Angeal, but not completely. He wasn't ready to write about Angeal's death. Not yet, at least. It would still hurt too much.

Talking with Cloud had eased the pain some, but the lies felt like they had come back to kick him in the gut. He knew he could get over the incident if people would just give him enough time to come around. Being pushed for information was not helping him, nor the company, in the least. It would just take longer for the report to be written.

"I know," Zack finally said, then hung up. He had other things to do besides write reports; They could wait. Right now, he had to settle his nerves with some breakfast and a training session. He hoped he would be more at ease by the afternoon. Whether Cloud showed up at training or not would determine one thing; whether or not Cloud was planning to talk to him anymore.

* * *

><p>Cloud sat on his bed with his face buried in his hands. He was having trouble—for the umpteenth time this week—deciding whether or not to skip his morning training session or not. Normally, he would never have neglected any of his responsibilities, but after what had happened with Zack, following orders had become a lot more complicated.<p>

Luxiere was quite aware of Cloud's peculiar behaviour, and didn't feel like playing oblivious anymore. He especially didn't want to leave Cloud in this state when he wouldn't be there for a few days to look out for him. Luxiere had been given an assignment in Kalm with some other infantrymen, and would be away for a while.

"What's up, Cloud?" he asked, staring down at the being that was curled up on the bed.

"Not feeling well," Cloud replied without hesitation. It wasn't a complete lie. His nervousness was making him queasy.

"You thinking about missing today's class?" Luxiere asked.

"What?" Cloud looked up at his friend slowly.

"You've missed three already this week."

"What if I was?" Cloud asked, defensively, something that was out of the ordinary for him.

"It's not like you, that's all. Did you and Mr. Fair have an argument?"

"What makes you think this has anything to do with Zack?" Luxiere took note of the first name basis he and the SOLDIER were obviously on. And again with the defensiveness; Something was definitely up.

"I was just asking. If you're going, you should probably get some breakfast into you. Wouldn't want to train on an empty stomach," Luxiere smiled, ignoring Cloud's sensitive attitude. He gave the blond a quick pat on the back, then proceeded out the door. He stopped after a minute, though, and poked his head back inside.

"If you're this upset, maybe you should just talk to him. Better to get it done now than to have it hanging over you." He closed the door quickly after him and hurried away so he could only faintly hear Cloud arguing with him again that _he hadn't said anything about Zack causing his distress!_

They both knew, however, that Luxiere was right. The easiest thing to do would be to talk to Zack, but even after almost an entire week of mulling everything over, Cloud still hadn't come up with anything to say. He hardly knew what his options were, let alone know what the right one was. Sure, he had spent his time thinking about Zack ever since Modeoheim, and he found the man attractive. Hell, he even liked having Zack's arms around him and... Zack's lips on his. But to start a real relationship seemed a lot more complicated than just having a crush on him.

Cloud wasn't stupid. He knew what all the signs meant, still he couldn't understand why. Until Zack, Cloud had thought he only liked girls, but that SOLDIER was getting the better of him. He was all Cloud thought about; He had been for weeks.

So, even if it was a bit difficult for him, Cloud could accept the fact that he had fallen for the SOLDIER. He'd known it for a while, after all. The part that didn't seem to stick in his mind was the fact that Zack liked him too. It wasn't even that Cloud didn't like the idea, he just didn't understand how it could be true, even after Zack had reassured him of it.

Cloud had taken comfort, however, in _one_ conclusion, which was that Zack had never seemed like the kind to mock people. He could be immature at times, but never mean. And that's what made Cloud realize that even though he couldn't come up with a reason_ why_ Zack liked him, he had at least come up with a reason _to believe that he did_. That was the only thing that finally pushed him to go to the training room that day.

* * *

><p>The training session was simple: stamina and speed training in the form of relay races. Cloud figured Zack's mind must have been just as busy as his. Otherwise, he would have come up with something a little more challenging. Relay races were for school kids. This was the army.<p>

Cloud did an extremely good job at keeping his focus on his training, rather than on the conversation that would most likely follow. He ran his hardest—running was one thing he was good at—and was satisfied with his results for once. If things hadn't been so awkward between them, Cloud probably would have received Zack's praise, but under the circumstances, the two were staying away from each other until everyone else had cleared out so they could talk privately.

Zack was a little on edge, even some of the infantrymen could see that. Zack would periodically glance up at the clock on the wall to count down the minutes; Not just the minutes until the session was over, but also till what he assumed would be the time when the dreaded conversation with Cloud would be over.

Finally, time was up. Zack dismissed the tired, yet unsatisfied troops, then looked around the training room to see that Cloud had thankfully stayed behind. Zack had half-expected him to take off with the others. Cloud stood near the back of the room with his head down, and Zack walked calmly towards him, or at least as calmly as he could manage. They were both panicking, but did a good job of hiding it.

"Hey," Zack greeted, softly.

"Hi," Cloud answered, rubbing his arm like he often did when he was nervous, and keeping his gaze fixated on the floor. Zack was unsure of how to proceed, so he did his best at guessing.

"So, what did you think about since I last saw you?" Cloud looked up at him fleetingly, then replied.

"J-just that I don't understand how any of this happened."

"Well, maybe you don't _have to_ understand it," Zack said, rubbing the back of his head. "It's like I said before, things just happen sometimes. What you have to decide is whether or not you're okay with this."

Cloud nodded. What Zack had said made perfect sense to him, but to confess that he liked Zack right to his face would be a more nerve-wracking ordeal than he'd like to deal with.

"What did _you_ think about?" Cloud asked, trying to buy himself some more time before he would have to make a decision between accepting Zack or running from him forever. For Cloud, there was no conceivable middle ground.

"Mostly what would happen if we were to pursue... whatever it is we're pursuing." Zack saw the corners of Cloud's lips turn up in a slight smile.

"I mean, sure, we were friends before, but I always felt a sort of... gravitational pull or something towards you. You're kind, and supportive, and hey, you're kinda cute, too," Zack grinned. Cloud blushed and tried to hide his face in his green Shinra scarf.

"I've just been really lonely lately, and... you've been there for me," Zack said, giving Cloud a kind smile.

"That kiss... I don't regret it." Zack paused, and waited for Cloud's eyes to meet his own. "Man, I sound like a total cheeseball, don't I?"

"It's okay," Cloud said, quietly. Even if Zack was being cheesy, Cloud knew he meant every word of what he was saying, and it was just what he needed to hear. He needed to be reassured that Zack really felt this way about him, even if it was strange and unexpected.

Cloud said nothing so Zack continued on.

"Cloud, I really like you. Now, I just need to know how you feel about me. I won't be hurt or offended by whatever your decision is, I promise," the SOLDIER said. He let his arms drop down to his sides—he had been moving them around as he talked—and waited patiently for Cloud to gather his thoughts.

Cloud stared down at the ground some more. This was it, this was the time. He needed to speak up. He pushed away all his thoughts of doubt and denial he'd had over the past few days because he knew what to do. At that moment, he knew what he wanted, and he knew he had to go with it before he changed his mind and regretted it forever. If Zack didn't regret his actions up till now, then he should have had no shame in feeling the same way.

"Zack?" Cloud addressed him as he slowly brought his head up. His heart was pounding, but he pushed past his fear as he announced, "I-I like you, too."

Zack's face lit up with excitement and Cloud couldn't help but flash a small smile.

"Cloud, can I hug you?" Zack asked after a minute. Cloud let out a light laugh and he felt like his heart might burst from a mix of confusing emotions, but he was happy.

"Sure," Cloud answered. Zack moved in closer and pulled the younger boy in against his chest. Cloud was tense, but not uncomfortable. He'd felt instant relief the minute he'd let the words out. He inhaled the scent of Zack's shirt and closed his eyes as he felt himself start to relax. He just hoped he'd made the right decision, though in that moment he was quite sure he had.

Zack took in the feel of the boy in his arms, and loved it. This time was better than the first, since this time qualified as an actual embrace.

Cloud pulled away after a minute and looked up, worriedly, at Zack.

"Zack, what if people find out? What are they going to think?" he asked.

"Hey, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. This is for us. It can be our little secret. I thought you'd want it that way anyway," Zack answered. Cloud looked up at him and smiled.

* * *

><p>Cloud went back to his room not long after their discussion since Zack had to train the other group of cadets. With Luxiere gone, Cloud had time to simply lie down and let the events of the afternoon sink in. That was when he started to realize what he had gotten himself into. He was stepping into a relationship which was unknown territory for him, and what was worse was that he was about to start dating one of his commanding officers.<p>

He put a hand to his head. If only his mother knew of the trouble he was getting into at Shinra, he thought. He wondered why he wasn't scolding himself for being so careless and for walking into this whole ordeal with Zack without thinking about what was best for...well, Zack. Cloud pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them. Maybe he just didn't want to be alone anymore, and that's why he gave in to his feelings. After all, who wouldn't?

* * *

><p>Zack made his way to Cloud's room after training, thrilled that he could finally go and see the boy who had made him so happy that afternoon. He sped up his pace as his excitement got stronger. He needed to see Cloud.<p>

Finally, he made it to his door, and gave a quiet knock.

"Hello?" Cloud's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Hey, it's me. Zack." The SOLDIER listened as feet scuttled across the room to open the door. Both men smiled as they lay eyes on each other.

"Hi, Zack," Cloud said, shyly, as he took in the man in front of him, realizing all over again why he'd found him so attractive. Those eyes, that smile. Cloud suddenly knew there was no going back now that he'd gotten himself into this.

"Hey, bud. How are you holding up?" Zack asked, the grin not fading from his face one bit.

"I'm fine."

"Not regretting it, are you?"

"N-no, not regretting. I'm kind of nervous about this, and I.. I don't know," Cloud stuttered.

"I'm nervous, too, believe it or not," Zack chuckled.

Cloud paused for a minute.

"Zack, why me?" Zack stared at the younger boy for a minute, his expression softening.

"You're still concerned about why I like you? What I told you before isn't enough?" Zack asked. Cloud shook his head. His expression had become somber.

"Then, please, believe this," Zack said, as he placed a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder. "You're special to me, okay? You've been special to me since I met you, and that feeling just kept growing stronger. You can understand that, right? Isn't it the same way for you?"

Cloud looked up at the SOLDIER and nodded, a hint of a smile returning to his face.

"I'll tell you what. I'm busy tomorrow night, but how about the night after that we go out for a while? You don't have to think of it as a date or anything, we can just go out and talk," Zack said, putting his hand back down at his side.

"Okay," Cloud answered, even though he figured his mind would turn the situation into a date.

"Great. How about six o'clock? We'll have dinner. After all, I promised you when we were in Junon that I'd take you out to eat."

"That's right," Cloud said, suddenly remembering that promise. "Sounds good."

The two smiled at each other once more. There was a slight awkward silence, but neither one of them minded.

"Alright. Meet me in the lobby then," Zack said.

"Okay." Zack was unsure of how he should show his affection before parting, but opted for a grin, and ruffled the boy's hair, causing Cloud to blush. Then he started back down the hallway. Cloud watched as the SOLDIER walked away from him, and only one question was going through his mind. What was he going to wear to dinner?

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><p>AN: Thanks for the reviews. You guys are great! Don't forget to check weekly for updates:D


	5. Chapter 5

It was five o'clock p.m. when Cloud got back from his patrol duties in Sector 8. He started to panic when he looked at the clock in his room and realized he only had an hour to get ready. Of course, he didn't want to act all feminine by getting dressed up and taking forever to prepare for an evening out, but this was his first chance to truly impress Zack. He at least wanted to look good. Cloud grabbed a towel from his closet and headed down to the showers to freshen up.

Zack had the same idea. He jumped into the shower and cleaned himself off. He doubted he even needed a shower, but it was better to be safe than sorry. He hurried out of the shower and towelled himself off, then ruffled his hair to get it back to its spiky state. He wrapped his towel around his waist, put on just a dash of cologne, and looked into the mirror. _Did I get into things too quickly with Cloud?_ he suddenly found himself wondering. The feelings had come on so fast and so intensely, and he had followed them without much hesitation.

Zack let out a chuckle and began brushing his teeth. It would have been unlike him not to jump in head first. Besides, he had put more time into thinking about proceeding with Cloud than he did for most things. This was perhaps one of Zack's more thoroughly thought-out plans. Zack rinsed his mouth with water after ridding it of toothpaste, then smiled into the mirror. _Tonight will be fun_.

Cloud rummaged through his clothes. He didn't have a lot of casual clothes with him at Shinra since he wore his uniform most of the time, though he didn't want to be too casual. He pulled out the most formal thing he could find without going overboard; He didn't want to overdress either. The blond wished he had a second opinion on his outfit, but with Luxiere away, he had no choice but to trust his own judgement. In a way he was thankful for Luxiere's absence because he would certainly question Cloud's upscale attire. Cloud looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a light blue button-up dress shirt with a grey tank top showing underneath. He was anxious, but a good kind of anxious. Besides, he figured that even if he was no good at the communication part of the evening, at least Zack would probably like his outfit.

Zack made it to the lobby first. In a way, it worried him because he had the slightest fear that Cloud wouldn't show up. It wasn't even two minutes later, however, that he saw the blond shyly approach him. Zack smiled at the sight of Cloud's ensemble. There was no denying that he found it attractive, especially since Cloud wore it well. The way the blue shirt was unbuttoned partway and the grey shirt so conveniently covered Cloud's chest... it was teasing him. He couldn't ignore that his mind was dying to know what was underneath. Honestly, he had not expected to be so physically attracted to Cloud so soon, and he secretly wondered if Cloud felt the same way about him.

"Hey, I'm glad you came," Zack said, placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder. Cloud shook it off in embarrassment since they were still inside the Shinra building, but he was smiling. He looked at Zack and suddenly felt under-dressed because Zack had gone so far as to wear a tie. He was dressed in a black shirt—much like Cloud's button-up—and dark pants, which were accented with the red tie. He looked very nice in Cloud's opinion, a little too nice in fact.

"I-I should go change," Cloud said, turning to leave. Zack caught his arm.

"Wait, why? You look awesome." Cloud desperately hoped that his co-workers were not seeing this.

"Come on, let's just get out of here," Zack said, leading Cloud out of the building.

Little did they know that Tseng had been watching them from the level above. The Turk frowned as he watched the two leave.

"Looks like Zack's got a new favourite."

* * *

><p>Zack watched the younger boy beside him as they walked down the street. Cloud had been quiet since they had left and Zack assumed his nerves had something to do with it.<p>

"Why so shy? I'm not going to hurt you," Zack spoke up.

"I know," Cloud answered. He could hardly look at Zack because the pounding in his chest grew harder whenever he did. He knew why he was so nervous this time with Zack. It was because it was his first time out on what _was_ a date, whether Zack wanted to call it that or not. Not only was Cloud never on a date with another man before, he had never been on a date. Period.

"This is new to me, too, you know?" the SOLDIER said, breaking the silence. Cloud said nothing.

"Just pretend we're going to dinner as friends," Zack suggested.

"Why is it only me who has to pretend?" Cloud asked.

"I'm not _nervous_. I just said it was _new_ to me." _Point taken_, Cloud answered mentally, though he doubted Zack's idea would work. After all, he still had the memory of Zack's kiss swirling around in his head. He had no idea when—or where, for that matter—Zack would plant the next one on him, and therefore, he had good reason to be nervous. He at least hoped Zack could refrain from showing his affection in public.

Zack held the door open for Cloud when they reached the restaurant. Cloud looked around in amazement at the luxuriousness of the place. There was no way he would let Zack pay for his meal. It would be way too expensive. Several chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and the walls were covered in fancy burgundy wallpaper and professional-looking paintings. Tables were scattered across the wide floor, and booths ran around the outer walls.

The waitress led them to their table and they sat down. She cheerfully handed them their menus and told them that she would be back in a few minutes to take their order. Zack smiled as he watched the boy take in his surroundings. He was most definitely in awe. Cloud blushed when he realized Zack was watching him.

"You didn't have to take me somewhere this fancy," he mumbled, sinking down a bit in his booth seat.

"I had to do something to prove that I'm taking things seriously with you," Zack grinned. Cloud stared down at his menu. Here he was in an expensive restaurant with a great potential partner, and yet he was dissatisfied not because of his anxiety, but because it didn't sink in yet that he _deserved_ this.

Zack's smile faded when he noticed that Cloud seemed unhappy.

"Uh, we can go somewhere else if it's bothering you that much."

"N-no, let's stay. I like it," Cloud replied, perking himself up, not wanting to disappoint Zack after he had obviously picked this place out specifically for him. Zack nodded, smiling, and picked up his menu, flipping through it with great interest. Cloud picked his up as well and skimmed through it.

"What are you gonna get?" the blond asked after a minute of pondering. In all honesty, everything in the menu looked delicious, but Cloud wasn't great at making decisions. That had become painfully clear as of late.

"I'm thinking about getting the Kalm Fang. It comes with potatoes and veggies," Zack smiled, flipping the menu around to show the picture to Cloud.

"Kalm Fang? Is that like a wolf?"

"Yeah. It lives near Kalm, but I guess you figured that out." Cloud nodded and smiled.

"I'll get whatever you're having," Cloud said, putting his menu down in the middle of the table.

"Sure."

They ordered, and the food came after about twenty minutes. They were both given the same meal right down to the glasses of lemonade that Zack had ordered at the last minute.

"Bon appetit," Zack cheered before devouring his first forkful. Cloud picked up his fork and gathered up some potato and meat and popped it into his mouth. It tasted even better than he had anticipated, and he'd had high expectations to start with.

"Mm, it's good," Cloud said, glancing up at Zack who seemed to be enjoying his as well, seeing as how he had made quite a space on his plate in the short time it had taken Cloud to eat one bite.

"Good. So, I made a good choice on the restaurant, huh?"

"Definitely a good choice."

Cloud was a bit worried about how much this would cost him since his job as an infantryman didn't pay a whole lot. He rarely ever ate out, however, so he figured it would be okay to indulge himself. One outing couldn't hurt too much.

They made some small talk during the meal, then when they finished, they walked up to the counter to pay. Cloud reached into his pocket, but Zack lay a hand on his to stop him. Cloud's heart lurched at Zack's action before he realized that it had been innocent.

"I'll pay for yours," Zack said. Cloud blushed and glanced around the restaurant to see if anyone was watching Zack's act of kindness. To Cloud, it seemed like their new relationship was obvious to the world, when really no one was paying any attention.

"No, that's okay," Cloud said, trying to pull his money out, but Zack's hand was still on his.

"Please, I insist."

"I wasn't going to let you pay. If I'd known you were going to be this pushy, I would have ordered something cheaper."

"I know. That's why I didn't tell you I was paying until now," Zack smirked. He took his hand away from Cloud's when he felt Cloud stop struggling. Zack had asked Cloud out, after all. He felt it wouldn't have been right for Cloud to pay.

Zack handed his own money to the cashier and paid for both meals. Cloud leaned against the counter uncomfortably, feeling completely embarrassed that he had just let another man pay for his food. To the other customers—had they even been paying attention—it could have easily been a friend buying for a friend, but not in Cloud's mind. Of course, Cloud's mind was like no other. He stood waiting for Zack for another awkward moment as the cashier rounded up Zack's change, then they headed out of the restaurant together, much to Cloud's relief.

"Thanks for dinner," Cloud told Zack, timidly, as they made their way back down the street.

"My pleasure," Zack answered, and it was the truth. It made Zack quite happy to do something nice for the boy. They walked a bit more before either of them spoke again. It was Zack who finally broke the silence.

"Do you mind if we take a detour before going back?" he asked.

"No, that's fine."

Cloud assumed Zack's detour would involve going into one of the shops that they were passing—the street was full of them—but Zack had other plans. He took hold of Cloud's arm and pulled him into an alleyway. Perhaps Cloud should have been nervous about this, but he wasn't. He doubted Zack was the kind of guy to pull something inappropriate in an alleyway of all places.

"What are we doing?" Cloud asked, sounding more curious than anything, much to Zack's surprise. He'd assumed Cloud would be afraid, but was delighted when he wasn't.

"I didn't figure you would want to hold my hand when we were out in plain view," the SOLDIER answered.

"You want to hold my hand?" the blond questioned, innocently. His breath caught in his throat a little as he felt the other man's hand slip into his.

"Is that okay?" Zack asked, looking down at the young cadet. Cloud looked up at him and flashed him a shy smile.

"Yeah."

Zack could feel Cloud relaxing as they slowly made their way through they alley. Zack told as many funny stories as he could think of to try to break the ice between himself and Cloud, and it was working. Cloud was warming up to him, and he couldn't have been happier. He wanted Cloud to let him in. He wanted to share something special with him.

Cloud had never felt this way before. He was talking and laughing with someone who liked him just as much as Cloud liked him back. What was even better than that was the feeling that someone cared for him and wanted to be with him. The warmth of Zack's hand in his was enough to give him reason to believe that. That hand meant so much to Cloud. It was a kind of comfort that he had never felt before, and he never wanted to let it go.

They made it out of the alleyway too soon for Cloud's liking, and he was disappointed when Zack's hand broke free of his grasp. Of course, it was better than the alternative. No way was he about to hold Zack's hand in the street with everyone watching.

* * *

><p>The two made their way back to the Shinra building and Cloud felt like he was walking into a dark shadow. The night had been so enjoyable. He had been out of the dreaded building and into a world of pure Zack. He never wanted to go back to work, and frankly, neither did Zack.<p>

Zack walked Cloud to his room again and wished the night had not ended so soon. They stood outside Cloud's door, saying nothing but wishing once again that there was something they could do to make their time together last longer.

"I had a really nice time, Zack," Cloud said, finally.

"Oh, good. I was a bit worried at the beginning, there, but you cheered up," Zack smiled. Cloud stared at the floor a bit awkwardly. He was waiting for something. He was waiting for the kiss. He was amazed that he even wanted it, but the first kiss just hadn't had the right mood nor was it performed under the right circumstances. Cloud wanted that little bit of comfort, that bit of reassurance that Zack wanted him too.

Zack was unsure of what to do. Cloud was stalling. Surely he wanted something from him. The SOLDIER watched as the cadet stared downwards, then caught his gaze as his eyes flickered up. It was in that split second that Zack confirmed his suspicions. He knew what Cloud wanted.

Zack began to close the space between them, and Cloud raised his head up, looking hopeful. Just as Zack started to raise his hand to cup Cloud's chin, he and Cloud both jumped at the sound of a voice.

"Strife!" Zack backed away from Cloud as casually as he could, trying his best to disguise his action. Cloud was blushing madly and he hoped the infantryman group leader who was heading towards them wouldn't notice.

"You're supposed to be in your room by now. Just because Luxiere isn't here to keep you in line doesn't mean you can just-" The infantryman stopped when he noticed the other man in their presence.

"First class Fair! I didn't realize you were here. Please, forgive for my ignorance," the man apologized.

"No problem," Zack answered, a little annoyed that the man spoke to him with a completely different tone than he had with Cloud. He glanced quickly at Cloud who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

"It's not every day that we see someone from SOLDIER roaming this wing, and that's why I... This runt wasn't bothering you, was he?" The man gave Cloud a stern look.

"Hey, now, take it easy. Cloud was with me. Sorry if I kept him out late," Zack said, defending his friend.

"Oh, oh, I see. Wait, why was _he_ with you?"

"Training," Zack came back, quickly. He didn't have time to think about the fact that their outfits suggested otherwise.

"Boy, Shinra is full of surprises, huh? A 1st giving special treatment to an infantryman." The man laughed, harshly. Zack frowned.

"Unless you have some special business of your own with Cloud, I believe you can leave now," the SOLDIER spoke up. The infantryman leader stopped laughing, abruptly, then cleared his throat.

"Right. G'night, Sir," he said, quietly, then went back down the hall and re-entered his room.

Zack turned his gaze to Cloud, but they both knew the moment was over. The fire was gone.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow at training?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, I guess so." Cloud was disappointed, but he knew there would be other chances. Perhaps it was better this way.

"Bye." Zack briefly took Cloud's hand in his own and stroked it with his thumb. Cloud felt like he might melt away from the heat in his cheeks, but he liked what Zack was doing.

"Bye," Cloud answered. Zack let go and Cloud gave him one last smile before disappearing behind his door.

* * *

><p>Cloud lay in bed for hours, but could not settle down enough to sleep. He was too excited. Zack was even more amazing that he could have imagined. Cloud thought back to dinner, to the alley, even to when Zack had stood up for him when the other infantryman was trying to get on his case. Cloud decided he was past wondering why Zack liked him. Maybe it <em>was<em> just a feeling that he couldn't control, and Cloud knew exactly what that was like.

The boy jumped when he heard a knock on his door.

"You awake?" Cloud quickly got up, recognizing the voice. He opened the door and looked upon the kind face of the SOLDIER.

"Hi," Cloud greeted him. "What are you doing here at..." he paused as he glanced at the clock. "Quarter after twelve?"

"Looking for you." Zack smiled when Cloud lowered his head to hide a blush. It was so easy to make him do that.

"Do you want to go outside with me? It's a full moon and it's kind of pretty," Zack said. Cloud cast a glance at Zack and realized that he expected him to go with him. He was all prepared with a bag slung over his shoulder. Cloud thought it was kind of cute the way Zack planned out his times with him.

"Sure. Just let me grab my coat." Zack held the door open and watched as Cloud grabbed the coat to his uniform—he was only wearing his uniform pants and the grey tank that he had worn to dinner—then they headed outside.

Cloud was elated that their evening together wasn't over. It wasn't like he would have been able to sleep anyway. Zack led Cloud out of the city and into the grassy plain around it.

"I thought we could see it best out here," Zack said, letting his bag fall to the ground. He placed his hands on his hips and stared up at the sky above him.

"So, what did you bring in the bag?" Cloud asked, glancing down at it.

"Oh, right." Zack knelt down and unzipped the bag, pulling a blanket out of it. He spread it out on the ground and sat down on it, then patted a spot beside him where he wanted Cloud to sit. Cloud smiled and did as Zack wanted.

"How did you know I would come with you?" Cloud asked, wanting to know how the SOLDIER would respond. Of course, he wanted to tease a caring response out of him.

"Well, I thought this evening went pretty smoothly and I thought... I thought you might want some more of my company," Zack said, looking at Cloud.

"Someone's hopeful," Cloud teased, trying to hide a smirk. Zack saw it, and laughed.

Zack slipped his gloves off and took the boy's hand. Cloud smiled and stared up at the sky, as did Zack. The moon was round and bright, more beautiful than Cloud remembered seeing it in years. Perhaps that was because he just hadn't had the time to sit and enjoy the sight before now, or perhaps it had something to do with the person beside him. Either way, he was happy.

Zack was slightly cold since he had changed back into his sleeveless SOLDIER uniform before going outside. He didn't want to come on to the boy too strongly, but sharing body heat seemed like a pretty nice idea. The SOLDIER lay down on his back, his eyes still on the moon, his hand still in contact with Cloud's.

"Do you want to lie down?" Zack asked him, being careful of his tone so he wouldn't scare him. Cloud hesitated at first, but he doubted things would go too far. He would stop Zack if he had to. The infantryman slowly and carefully lay himself down beside the other man. That was when he could feel Zack shaking.

"Are you cold?"

"A little. I'm fine, though," the SOLDIER answered.

"Do you want me to move a little closer?"

"Only if you're comfortable." Zack kept his eyes on the sky, but after a minute, he felt the boy move up against his side. Cloud felt his position was a little awkward since he didn't quite know what to do with himself, but Zack tried to make him comfortable by putting an arm gently around him. Cloud tensed a little, but then convinced himself that there was nothing to worry about. There was no one around to see them. It was just him and Zack.

"Is this okay?" Zack asked.

"Y-yeah," Cloud answered. He settled into Zack's arm after a minute, then when he felt confident enough, he spoke up again.

"It's all so hard to believe."

"What is?"

"All of this. All that's happened between us."

"Are you still going on about that?" Zack asked. Cloud focused on the stars so he wouldn't falter.

"Not exactly. I don't think you understand completely. It's just, well, you won't laugh if I tell you this, will you?" Cloud asked.

"Of course not." Cloud took in a deep breath. It was taking all his courage to say what he was planning to say, but he needed to get it off his chest. Zack was proving how serious he was about this relationship, and Cloud wanted to do the same.

"I always admired you, but I never imagined I would actually meet you or talk to you. Then I realized I liked you, but I never thought you would—" Cloud stopped, but he wanted to say so much more;_ It just seems so surreal to me. I thought you were out of my reach. I never believed I had even the slightest chance to be with you, and so I didn't even bother to try_. But he didn't want Zack to know just how much he wanted to be with him. It was way too embarrassing.

"Now that I'm here with you, I'm happy, but it's just hard for me to believe."

"You really felt that way?" Zack asked, turning his head to look at Cloud.

"Are you mad?" Cloud asked.

"Not at all. Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. Because I liked you for a long time, and maybe that freaks you out?"

"Cloud, you're wrong. You feeling that way... that's a blessing." Zack pulled Cloud closer with his arm for a quick hug, then relaxed.

They lay in silence for a few more minutes and Zack wondered whether or not he should proceed further. After all, he was sure Cloud had been waiting for a kiss earlier, a real one this time. But he felt he had to go slow with Cloud, and make sure he was ready. Zack would wait if necessary, because he wanted everything they did together to be perfect.

"Cloud? About that kiss?"

"What about it?" Cloud turned so he could see Zack.

"Do you... Are you ready now?" Zack could see what looked like panic or dread all over Cloud's face, maybe both. Cloud sat up quickly.

"Hey, are you okay?" Zack asked, sitting up as well, wondering if something had happened to him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just don't think I'm ready," Cloud answered. He hugged his knees and avoided looking at Zack.

"Did I do something wrong? I mean, I thought you were waiting for it earlier."

"Y-yeah, I kind of was, but... So much has been happening today. Maybe it's best just to wait."

"That's fine," Zack reassured him.

"You don't mind?" Zack shook his head.

"Everything is new to me, so is it okay if we take things one step at a time?" Cloud felt pathetic having to ask that. He was nervous again, shaking even, but he had to get this out in the open. He had to do things right. The last thing he wanted to do was run away from Zack after he had finally found him.

"Don't worry. I'll be patient for as long as you need me to be," Zack promised.

"Thanks, Zack," Cloud whispered into his knees. Zack didn't want to push Cloud any further tonight, so he simply sat beside him and continued to stargaze. Just in case Cloud wanted some comfort, though, Zack lay his open hand out on the blanket, and within minutes, Cloud's hand was in his.

* * *

><p>AN: Tada! Okay, between exam preparation and getting a reeeaaaallllllllly bad cold, I didn't get around to updating on the week-end. But, here it is! Done! By the way, right after I updated last week, I checked my e-mail, and was super pleased to see a bunch of activity on this story. So, I just wanted to thank everyone who's been reading, adding me or this story to favorites or alerts, reviewing, or whatever you've been doing to support me and this story. Like everyone, I take pride in my work, and it took me about a year to write this story, so it means a lot when I know people appreciate it. Anyway, enough of my sappiness, and on to Cloud and Zack's. hahaha. I know, these two get really sappy at times, but everyone likes cheesy Clack fluff, right (even if it is a little extreme at times)? Personally, the first few chapters aren't my favourites, but I hope you all stick with this story and enjoy the ride! The Clack has begun, so don't leave now!


	6. Chapter 6

Zack awoke feeling more optimistic than he had in a long while. The night before had gone successfully, and he was sure now that Cloud liked him. Still, he thought back to his mentor and sighed. Had Angeal been alive, he would have been the first to know about the relationship. Zack would have run to him in the early hours of the morning to tell him all about his time with Cloud. Zack had always acknowledged that he and Angeal had had different views on this kind of thing, but he knew Angeal would have understood and supported him all the way. Zack smiled when he thought of what Angeal might say. _I smelled young love a mile away, pup. I'm happy for you, though. _

Zack's cellphone rang and the SOLDIER grabbed it off his nightstand.

"Hello?"

"My office. Now," the voice on the other end ordered.

"Tseng?" Zack asked. The tone was stern even for the usually stoic Turk.

"Yes. Hurry up." The phone went dead in Zack's ear and Zack rolled his eyes. He wondered why his morning had to be ruined so soon. He put a hand on his forehead and closed his eyes, assuming the Turk was going to nag him about reports, or accuse him of something he did wrong. Zack did know, however, that the sooner he got through the meeting, the sooner he would get to see that shining face again to take his frustration away.

* * *

><p>Zack threw the door to Tseng's office wide open and strode in. The Turk stared up at him with his hands folded on his desk, then cast a glance at the chair in front of the desk, implying that Zack should sit down. The SOLDIER unwillingly did so.<p>

"What do you want, Tseng?" Zack asked. Tseng seemed unperturbed by Zack's obvious displeasure.

"I'm sure I don't need to remind you that you can't take infantrymen away from their jobs," the Turk said, calmly.

"Y-yeah, I know that."

"So, whatever you were doing last night was _not_ violating that rule...?"

"What?" Zack asked, trying to keep his voice casual, but hoping desperately that he and Cloud hadn't been spied on the night before.

"You left the building with an infantryman."

"Yes, I did, for special outdoor training."

"Training involving what?"

"Involving real battles. Combat against real monsters doesn't happen in Shinra. That's why we went outside."

"You weren't _dressed_ for combat." Zack bit his bottom lip, trying to come up with a quick excuse.

"No, but we had our combat clothes with us. See, we wanted to wear something a bit more comfortable for the walk to the training area." Zack nodded to emphasize his statement, but the excuse sounded stupid even to him. Dress shirts and ties were sure as hell not comfortable, nor were they something that Zack would throw on if he wanted to dress casually. Tseng could see right through him, and Zack wasn't the least bit surprised.

The Turk gave Zack a wary look, then sighed, staring down at his desk. Zack was honestly one of the worst liars Tseng had ever seen, but he decided it wasn't worth arguing over at the moment. All he cared about was that Zack get his work done, and that he let others do their own.

"Very well. That doesn't change the fact, however, that I need those reports on Junon and particularly on Modeoheim. Before you go off for extra training, I suggest you get those done. In other words, I need them as soon as possible."

Zack nodded, but didn't dare to look at Tseng for fear of saying something he would regret later. He simply got up from his chair and strolled out as casually as he could.

* * *

><p>Zack was happy to get to the training room for two reasons. One, he could blow off steam since the stress had been building since Tseng had called that morning, and two—which wasn't at all surprising—he would get to see his little ball of sunshine.<p>

The infantrymen filed in and arranged themselves in a line, which Zack had instructed them to do. Cloud smiled when he caught Zack's eye, and Zack gave him a quick smile back. Cloud was glad that Zack understood his self-consciousness. That gave him the confidence he needed to believe their relationship would work. He liked knowing that Zack wouldn't embarrass him in front of others, at least not intentionally.

"Okay. Pair up. We're back to sword training today," Zack announced. He waited a minute as the men got into pairs, then his gaze lingered on Cloud who seemed to be without a partner.

"Strife, is your partner not here?" he asked, walking up to the boy, yet keeping a distance that seemed fit for a cadet and his commander. If he wanted Cloud to feel safe with him, he would have to make him feel safe when they were in the presence of other people as well.

"Luxiere is away on a mission, Sir," Cloud answered.

"Okay." Zack thought about asking if he could train with him, but 1st class SOLDIERs didn't ask; They ordered.

"Everyone grab a sword from the weaponry. Strife, you'll be sparring with me." Cloud nodded and hurried to the weaponry, then returned with swords for himself and his partner.

"Thanks," Zack said as Cloud handed him his weapon. Zack spun it around in his hand, then got himself into a battle position. A few of the cadets turned their heads to watch in awe. Of course, Zack was showing off, but he liked the attention, especially from the blond whose attention was more on Zack's looks than his tricks.

"Okay, you strike, I'll parry," the SOLDIER instructed. Cloud took in a breath and raised his sword, then struck vertically which Zack blocked with ease. He took another swing in the opposite direction, then two horizontal swings, both of which Zack deflected.

"You've got some skill. I can see you've improved. Now, you need to work on your technique some more. Don't worry, though, it's normal to have some difficulty with that. I'll teach you like I did Luxiere," Zack said.

Cloud nodded absently, because his mind was full of thought. Zack was doing a good job of acting as if nothing was different between them. The act was so good, in fact, that Cloud figured even he wouldn't have been able to see through the facade if he were on the outside looking in.

Both men found it difficult to keep that facade up, however, as Zack guided Cloud's sword through the correct motions. Zack stood behind Cloud with his arms on either side of him and his hands over Cloud's. Zack was so close that Cloud could feel his breath on his neck, and he suddenly found himself wondering what an intimate relationship with Zack would be like. Cloud tried to shake the thought from his head as quickly as it had come before a serious blush could cover his face.

After several minutes of helping Cloud through the swinging motions, Zack let go of him and picked up his training sword.

"Alright. Try it on your own," Zack said to the younger boy. Cloud threw a quick hit at Zack with his sword, followed by a few more strikes which the SOLDIER blocked.

"Good job," Zack smiled. Cloud felt weak, not from training, but from the SOLDIER's smile. Zack had a strong hold on him, whether Zack knew it or not.

Zack called the training session to an end after a while, much to his relief as well as Cloud's. Both of them had found it hard to keep a proper distance between them. Zack had had an especially hard time keeping himself from engulfing Cloud in an embrace and kissing him until he was breathless. Not to mention, Zack had to do everything he could to get his mind off his threatening arousal as he stood behind Cloud, guiding his sword. All Cloud wanted, on the other hand, was Zack's arms around him. He thought back to the brief periods of time that he had spent in Zack's arms, and strongly wished for that comfort again.

Cloud stayed behind after the other infantrymen had left, then stared at Zack who was returning his weapon to its place.

"Zack?" Cloud asked, in no more than a peep. Zack turned around and grinned when he saw him.

"Hey, what can I do for you?"

Cloud tried to hide his face in his scarf as Zack approached him, worrying that his request would be too bold.

"Well, um, Luxiere is away, and I just wondered if you would want to stay in my room for, well, the night. B-but, if you would rather not, that's okay." Cloud continued to ramble on, but Zack could only focus on the words that he couldn't believe had come from the boy's mouth.

"You want me to stay the night?" Zack repeated, skeptically. Cloud stopped talking and realized that he really had gotten the words out, and that Zack had understood them.

"I-if you want to," Cloud added, shyly.

"Do _you _want me to? I don't want you to feel obligated." Zack knew that if he did take Cloud up on his offer, he would have to keep himself under control. He couldn't let himself do anything to scare or upset the boy. He had to be patient, like he'd promised he would be.

Cloud had the same worries as Zack had. He was afraid of letting Zack do things he wasn't ready for, and he was scared Zack wouldn't be able to wait until he _was _ready. Yet, he wanted to have faith in Zack. If Zack really cared about him, then he wouldn't break his promise. Cloud wanted to take his first steps with him, even if they were only small.

"Yes, I want you to. I-it's lonely being the only one in the room." Cloud turned his head away in embarrassment at his excuse. It was obvious even to Zack that Cloud wanted him there not just because the emptiness was getting to him.

Zack walked up beside Cloud, then leaned in against his ear. Cloud tensed up, not knowing what the man was about to do.

"I'll be there after the 3rd's make their rounds," the SOLDIER whispered. Cloud shivered from the closeness, then watched as Zack grinned and made his way out of the training room, leaving Cloud to figure out how to walk again on his shaking legs.

* * *

><p>Zack showed up after the 3rd class SOLDIERs did their sweep of the hallways, just like he had promised. Cloud got up from his bed and straightened his uniform top before hurrying to the door when he heard a knock.<p>

"Hi," he said, softly, when he saw the SOLDIER's face.

"Hey, there. Am I still allowed in?" Zack joked. Cloud nodded and smiled, holding the door open as Zack stepped inside. Cloud closed the door and locked it, not wanting any surprise visitors to find a SOLDIER in his room.

Zack put his hands on his hips and took in his surroundings. The room had no windows at all. The walls were painted a dull white and the floor was covered in cracked, dirt-covered off-white tiles. There were two tall bunk beds, one against each wall, which left only a small amount of space in the middle for walking. At the end of each bunk was a wooden trunk which seemed to hold the few belongings that the cadets had with them.

Zack suddenly felt ashamed. SOLDIERs received large, luxurious rooms, and 1st class SOLDIERs received even nicer suites. Zack had never had to live in the conditions Cloud was living in. Shinra had been desperate for SOLDIERs when Zack had joined, and because of his strength, they had made him into a 3rd right away. He had gotten lucky, and it was finally hitting him just how lucky he was. Most people who joined Shinra were stuck in the position of infantryman from the start, and would stay in that position for years to come. Some would never be promoted. Zack's heart ached for Cloud.

"So, it's just you and Luxiere in here, normally?" Zack asked, not wanting Cloud to think he was mentally criticizing his less-than-appealing room.

"Yeah. There were two others, but one left Shinra, and the other one was killed in action," Cloud answered, sitting down on the bed.

"Did you know them well?"

"Not really well, but it wasn't easy to adjust to them being gone."

"I guess even the job of an infantryman is dangerous," Zack said, suddenly feeling worried for Cloud's safety. Cloud could have easily taken offense to Zack's words, but he didn't because he knew Zack hadn't meant to belittle his rank. He was simply acknowledging that there was danger everywhere.

"Sometimes. But we've been well-trained, especially over the past few weeks," Cloud said. It took Zack a minute to realize that Cloud was referring to his training sessions.

"Hey," Zack said, and Cloud grinned as Zack threw an arm around him. "Come here, you." Zack ruffled Cloud's hair lovingly, then reluctantly released him from his hold when he heard his cellphone beep. Zack opened his phone and checked his mail. He made a noise of disgust when he saw that it was a message from Tseng, reminding him about his reports.

"He doesn't give up, does he?" Zack said to himself, then closed his phone and stuffed it back into his pocket.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked, quietly, unsure of whether or not he should inquire.

"Work. Tseng wants me to write my reports on Junon and Modeoheim."

"Oh," Cloud replied, after realizing that the report on Modeoheim meant the report on Angeal. Zack stared at the floor.

"Cloud, I have to tell you something." Cloud walked up close beside Zack and watched him, worriedly.

"I wasn't totally honest before when I told you about Angeal," Zack told him.

"Here, sit down," Cloud said, when he noticed Zack was shaking. Whatever Zack had been hiding from him, Cloud could see that it had been tearing him up. Cloud took Zack's arm and led him to one of the beds and sat down with him.

"It's okay," Cloud comforted him. He gently rubbed Zack's arm as he spoke. Zack was slightly surprised by how much closer Cloud was to him lately. Cloud was getting braver, more comfortable; That much was obvious. Zack took a breath, then started his story.

"I kept looking for Angeal after I left you and Tseng, and I found him along with Hollander. Hollander had done some experiments and had made Angeal into... well, what Angeal believed was a monster. I didn't want him to believe that, but there was no convincing him otherwise. Then, he... insisted on fighting me." Zack's gaze was still on the floor. His chest felt cold, and the words felt icy and foreign on his tongue. This was his first time saying it. He should have known it was bound to hurt.

"And you did fight him?" Cloud asked, softly.

"You know that band of monsters that I told you about? They didn't kill Angeal. He absorbed them into himself and turned himself into a true monster, and then..." Zack paused. He was sure Cloud already knew the end, but he had to say it himself. Otherwise, he felt he would always carry the weight.

"I-I killed him." Zack could feel himself shaking even harder now, and he let his face fall into his hands, only to feel hot, wet tears. He lifted his head back up, and chuckled.

"W-whoa. Heh, I didn't mean to start crying," he said, shaking his head. Cloud knew Zack was embarrassed, but he wanted him to know it was okay to cry. Knowing it might be his only chance since he didn't know how often Zack got this emotional, Cloud reached up and gently brushed a tear away, then quickly pulled away when he decided that the move might have been too bold. Zack was surprised, but appreciated the small gesture.

"It's alright," Cloud told him, deciding that he would comfort him on a less physical level. Zack could tell the blond was embarrassed, and so he continued talking.

"It wouldn't even be so hard if I knew what he'd been trying to accomplish. Did he really want to die, or did he just not want to live as a monster? And why did he want _me_ to kill him? I know he planned it that way, but why?" Zack asked.

"You two were close, right? Angeal probably trusted you, and wanted you to be the one to put him to rest. It was... his last assignment to you as your mentor," Cloud said, keeping his eyes on the floor now out of respect. He didn't want to stare at Zack when he obviously didn't want to be showing this side of himself.

"You're good with words, Cloud," Zack said after a minute. Cloud could have laughed at the comment. Zack was just lucky that he hadn't caught him in a moment of embarrassment. When Cloud actually managed to get words out, they always sounded childish, or at least they did in his mind.

"Maybe you're right," Zack almost whispered.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Cloud didn't know whether he should speak or not. Fortunately, Zack did the job for him.

"Do you believe in angels?" Zack asked, lying back on the bed and staring up at the bunk above him.

"I don't know. Why?" Cloud asked, looking at the SOLDIER who seemed to have calmed down now. Cloud had been a bit taken aback by his question. Had he ever thought about it, he probably wouldn't have believed in such beings—his past had not been an enviable one—but some part of him couldn't give Zack a straight-out no.

"Angeal had a wing because of the experiment that Hollander did. That's why he thought he was a monster, but Angeal wasn't bad! Do you think he could have been an angel who just didn't understand his purpose?" Zack asked. Cloud smiled.

"I've never really thought about angels, so I can't say for sure if I think they exist or not. But I think you were right when you said Angeal wasn't a bad person. Maybe he really didn't understand what he was made for, and the only way he knew how to escape it was to—" Cloud paused, but Zack knew what had been coming.

"Yeah. Ever since he... well, it's like I can still feel him here. And if angels can follow you and guide you like people say they can, then I believe that's what Angeal's doing right now," Zack said, looking back down and catching Cloud's gaze.

"You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Yeah. I'm probably crazy, huh?" Zack ran a hand through his hair. All of what he was saying had come from his sleepless nights when he had done nothing but think. Truthfully, Cloud admired Zack for thinking it all through. The way he spoke was beautiful. Cloud felt like he was a child again listening to his mother's stories.

"No, not at all. It's kind of nice to hear you talk like this," Cloud smiled. "It makes you wonder."

They remained silent for another moment, then Zack sat up.

"Okay, I didn't mean to ruin the party," he said.

"You didn't."

"Cloud, thanks." Zack really did appreciate the boy's patience for listening to him. He didn't deal with emotions well, and maybe that bit of comfort was all he'd needed.

"You're welcome," Cloud smiled. Zack stood up and sauntered around the room.

"So, what do you want to do now?" he asked.

"Zack, I was wondering if we could talk about... us," Cloud said, quietly. Zack looked back at Cloud, curiously.

"Sure, buddy. What's bothering you?"

"Well, nothing's really _bothering_ me. We just fell in love so fast," Cloud said, staring down at the bed as he ran his hand over the blanket, trying to get all the wrinkles out.

"Yeah, I know. It's kind of crazy."

"A-and, we're, you know, both guys. I mean, before this relationship, I didn't even know I was..." Cloud was blushing, but didn't even bother trying to hide it.

"Interested in men? Neither did I," Zack admitted, glancing at Cloud. He smiled when he saw Cloud look up at him, somewhat surprised. Then Cloud smiled, and focused his attention on the blanket once again.

"What are you surprised about? Do I not look straight to you?" Zack teased, trying to get a reaction.

"What? N-no, I didn't really know much about you before except that you were nice. What I'm surprised about is that this is your first time falling in love with another guy, and it doesn't bother you in the least," Cloud said, keeping his eyes on the blanket.

Zack looked at the boy and couldn't find a reason in the world why his gender would make him any less appealing. Cloud was beautiful, and the new love between them would surely be beautiful too. What did it matter if their love didn't come in the standard form? It felt the same. Maybe even a bit more special.

"Why should it bother me?" Zack asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it's wrong."

"Cloud, we're both in this. If it's wrong, then why does it feel right to both of us?" Zack asked, trying to test him. Cloud stared at him, but was without an answer.

"Look, we don't have to keep the relationship going if it doesn't work out, or if you're uncomfortable with it. We can just try it for a while, and see how it goes," Zack suggested.

"It's not like I want to break it off or anything. I definitely don't. I guess I just wanted to know how you felt about everything," Cloud told him.

Zack nodded. He was already realizing that communication was key to their relationship working. Cloud needed to get things out in the open, and Zack needed to reassure him that everything would be okay.

"Well, the way I see it is, you only get one life. Might as well live it with the one you love, even if it's not what's expected of you," Zack said, and looked to see Cloud smiling at him.

"You're good with words, too, Zack," he said. Zack motioned him over, and Cloud got up so Zack could pull him into an embrace, an embrace that Cloud had been waiting for all day. He buried his face in the SOLDIER's shirt and inhaled again, bringing the sweet scent to his nose. Then he let his arms travel around to his partner's back.

"Mmm, Zack?" Cloud asked through the fabric that he had his face against.

"Yeah?"

"Th-that kiss... Do you want to try it again?" Zack pulled away just enough so that he could see Cloud's face. He was reassured when Cloud didn't look nervous.

"You're ready?" Zack asked. Cloud nodded.

Zack gently brushed a strand of Cloud's blond hair out of his face, then leaned in and pressed his lips up against his partner's. Both hearts started pounding from excitement or anxiety, or maybe a mix of both. Cloud did his best to kiss back, and did well for never having done it before, though Zack was much more skilled. Zack pulled away, not wanting to continue without a response from Cloud.

"You okay?" Zack asked, placing his hands on the cadet's shoulders. What Cloud did next came as a surprise to both of them.

"Don't stop," he pleaded. Zack lowered his head again and lips met lips with a fiercer hunger than the first time. Zack licked Cloud's lips, then gently nibbled on his bottom one. Cloud opened his mouth, whether he meant to or not, and Zack's tongue darted inside to explore. Cloud didn't dare fight him. He didn't know how to fight him, but he had no desire to stop Zack even if if he could.

As Zack's tongue ran along the insides of Cloud's mouth, he moved their bodies towards the bed, causing Cloud to lay down and Zack to hover above him. Zack explored Cloud's mouth for a little longer until lack of air started to become an issue. Before Zack could pull away, however, he heard a moan that sounded like his name emerge from the boy beneath him. The next thing he knew, Cloud was pushing him away. The contact was broken, and Cloud was breathing heavily as he tried to sit himself up. Zack moved to sit beside him as he caught his breath as well.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away," Zack apologized.

"N-no, I'm sorry. I panicked," Cloud said. His face was red, whether that was from embarrassment, the heat of the kiss, or the lack of air, Zack wasn't sure.

"I didn't really know what would happen. I'd never done that before," Cloud said. That was when it hit Zack.

"Wait a sec. At the restaurant, when you said everything was new to you, you didn't just mean with a guy, did you?"

"No." Cloud shook his head.

"I-I'm your first?" Zack asked. Cloud smiled, timidly.

Zack suddenly felt that he had a whole lot more responsibility. Being someone's first love was a big deal, and he needed to show Cloud that he took his role seriously. He would be the one to show Cloud what it was like to love. That alone was one of the most special feelings he'd ever had.

"I promise I'll do a good job as your first," Zack said, trying not to sound like he had been taken too off-guard.

"I know you will," Cloud smiled, then he took a deep inhale. "So, time for some shut-eye?"

The two took off the uncomfortable parts of their uniforms, such as boots, belts, armour, and gloves, so it would be easier to sleep. Then Cloud crawled into his bed, and Zack walked over to tuck him in.

"You don't have to do that," Cloud laughed.

"I know, but I want to," Zack grinned as he pulled the covers over Cloud, and adjusted them just right.

"You're acting like my mother, you goofball." That earned an even wider grin from Zack as he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Cloud's forehead.

"Goodnight, Cloud."

"Goodnight, Zack." Zack turned off the light, then made his way over to the other lower bunk. He lay down and closed his eyes, and in almost no time at all, the two of them slipped into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, it's the weekend again, so here I am with this update (on time, and everything)! Enjoy, and if you have time, don't forget to leave a review!


	7. Chapter 7

The alarm on Zack's cellphone went off the next morning, startling him and waking him up. He turned it off and lay there for a minute, remembering the events of the night before, the taste of Cloud still vivid in his memory. He just hoped that Cloud had recovered.

Zack sighed, and forced himself to get up. He walked over to the sleeping boy in the next bed and put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

"It's morning, Sunshine," he said, softly.

"Mm... 'Sunshine'?" the boy asked, groggily, his eyes still closed.

"Yeah," Zack smiled. "I think it suits you." Cloud's hair reminded Zack of the sun, and the boy brought light into Zack's life. Yes, Zack thought the name was perfect for him. The SOLDIER brushed a hand through Cloud's messy morning hair.

"I should get going before the building gets busy and I get caught where I'm not supposed to be," Zack told the sleepy cadet.

"Can't you stay a little longer?" Cloud asked.

"I really shouldn't. I'll see you at lunch, though. Okay?"

"Mm-kay," Cloud mumbled. He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, and Zack was able to take in even more of his beauty. It was hard to tear himself away. Zack stroked Cloud's hand and gave him a kiss on the forehead. After one last glance, Zack quietly left the room.

* * *

><p>It was 12:00 p.m. sharp when a stack of papers was thrown down on Tseng's desk. The Turk slowly looked up and was nothing short of amazed when he saw Zack Fair grinning at him.<p>

"And these are—?"

"The reports, of course," Zack said, matter-of-factly.

"May I ask what the hell made you finally write them? I thought I was going to have to threaten you," Tseng said, and Zack couldn't tell if he was joking about that last part or not.

"A good night's sleep, and someone to listen."

"'Someone to listen'? May I ask whom?"

"You Turks sure are nosey," Zack frowned.

"It's our job."

"Fine. I-it was Aerith," Zack said, trying to act like he was reluctant to tell. Tseng nodded, but Zack wasn't sure if he bought it or not. Perhaps he should have argued about it a bit longer.

"Well, thanks for finally getting them done," Tseng said, reaching into his drawer and retrieving two folders. He then proceeded to put Zack's reports in their respective folders and stamp the date on them. Zack turned to leave, but was stopped.

"By the way, Zack, Shinra is holding its annual staff appreciation party tomorrow night. You need tickets to attend so we know how much food to order. Are you interested?" Tseng asked.

Zack personally thought that 'staff appreciation' was just a title thrown in there as an excuse to throw a party. He had worked at Shinra long enough to know that no one really cared what the staff did, or who died, or anything. According to Shinra, anyone and everyone was replaceable; even SOLDIER.

Tseng pushed a small packet of green tickets across the desk to Zack. Zack could hardly remember the last staff appreciation party he had attended since he and Kunsel had gotten so drunk that Angeal had had to carry them both back to their rooms. Afterwards, Zack had sworn never to drink that much again. And of course, this time would be different. Cloud would be with him, and he wanted to make a good impression. He doubted Cloud wanted to see his _so-drunk-he-couldn't-walk-and-was-vomiting-all-night_ side.

"What's going on this year?" Zack asked.

"Same as usual. Food, drinks, dancing, fireworks," Tseng answered, waving his hand as he did.

"I guess _you_ won't be dancing," Zack chuckled, momentarily picturing the Turk _busting a move_ on the dance floor.

"And I guess _you_ won't be drinking this year," Tseng said, showing what was almost a smirk in return.

"You remember that?"

"Zack, everyone remembers that. You made a complete fool of yourself the way you were practically drooling all over the bar counter."

"Maybe it's a good thing I can't remember that night," Zack sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

He shook his head to rid himself of the thought, then tore off three tickets—one for himself, one for Cloud, and one for Kunsel—because he knew Cloud wouldn't want to go with him alone; it would look too suspicious. Tseng looked at Zack expectantly.

"What?" Zack asked, glancing at the tickets, then back at Tseng.

"You have to pay for those."

"Heh, I don't have any money on me right now. Can you just take it out of my pay?" Zack knew that Tseng wasn't in charge of his pay—he was just the one who handed it out—but he didn't think Tseng would hesitate to take some of his money away when it came time to pay him.

"With pleasure," Tseng replied.

"I figured as much. Thanks, Tseng," Zack waved as he walked out of the office.

* * *

><p>Zack entered the busy cafeteria and immediately noticed Kunsel waiting in line for his lunch. The 2nd waved his friend over when he saw him and Zack strolled on over.<p>

"Hey, nice to finally see you. Have you been avoiding me lately, bud?" Kunsel asked. Zack tried not to let his expression look too surprised.

"Avoiding? No, I've just been busy. Sorry," Zack lied. Since he had gotten back, Cloud had honestly been the only one he'd had any interest in seeing.

"It's okay. I can imagine how tough it must be being a 1st all of a sudden. So, how was your vacation?" Kunsel asked. He moved up in the line and grabbed a bowl of soup, and Zack followed beside him.

"How did you know?"

"I know everything about you. Besides, I sent you a message when you were in Costa Del Sol," the 2nd answered. Zack honestly hadn't checked his messages lately, aside from the ones from Tseng. He just hadn't been in the right mindset to reply.

"Sorry I didn't get back to you. My vacation was boring anyway. I know they just sent me off to get my mind off things, but sitting around on a beach doesn't help me. I need to be out doing things," Zack said, waving his hand.

"_Women_, you mean," Kunsel said.

"W-what?" Zack demanded, shocked.

"I'm just kidding, bud, kidding." Kunsel patted his friend on the back, as Zack tried to recover. Normally, he probably would have laughed at Kunsel's joke, but women and pointless sex were the farthest things from his mind right now. He was almost certain he was into something serious with Cloud, and if things did go that far, there certainly would be no joking around. Zack didn't expect anything to happen for a while, of course, but if it did, Zack wanted it all to mean something.

"What's up with you?" Kunsel asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired. Being away from your humour for a while probably isn't helping either," Zack said, trying to muster some kind of grin.

"That's why we have to hang out more often."

"Oh, which reminds me..." Zack said, looking downward. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ticket for Kunsel and handed it to him.

"What's this?"

"A ticket to Shinra's annual staff appreciation party."

"Oh, awesome. Guess you'd better get ready for some heavy drinking tomorrow night, then," Kunsel laughed. He looked at the price written on the ticket, then reached into his own pocket and handed Zack the money he owed him.

"I'm not drinking," Zack answered, seriously.

"What? Oh, come on. I know we both felt like hell after last year, but it was fun," Kunsel said, elbowing Zack in the arm.

"I don't remember last year well enough to even say I had fun. Anyway, I'm bringing someone else along this year." Kunsel frowned.

"Who?"

"He's an infantryman. His name's Cloud. We met on a mission."

"You're bringing an _infantryman_ along? Why?" Kunsel asked, sounding irritated.

"He's a _friend_," Zack answered, sternly.

Kunsel got the impression that Zack didn't want anything bad said about this guy from the way his face was all up in a knot.

"Well, okay, okay. Surely he won't mind a couple of drinks, though."

"He's sixteen. He won't be drinking, and neither will I while I'm with him." Zack had used his e_nd-of-discussion_ tone, so Kunsel decided not to argue, which came as a bit of a surprise to Zack as Kunsel was usually pretty feisty. Kunsel was only backing down now because he wanted to stay on Zack's good side, even if he wasn't crazy about having to share his best friend with someone else.

Zack didn't want to put Cloud in an awkward position no matter what, but he also didn't want to ruin the party for Kunsel.

"We'll still have fun," Zack said, lightening his tone. "We can still watch the Turks nearly die trying not to let themselves have a good time."

"And we can see how many pick-up lines I can use in one night," Kunsel added, grinning.

"Yeah, and we can watch the Director dance," Zack smiled. Kunsel's grin disappeared.

"Didn't you get my e-mail?"

"About what?" Zack asked. Kunsel stared down at his lunch tray as he spoke.

"The Director's gone missing."

* * *

><p>Kunsel's news had given Zack reason enough to check every last one of his unread messages. Kunsel's message hadn't been the only one informing him about the Director's disappearance; there was a message from Shinra stating the same thing.<p>

Zack finished reading his mail just as he reached the table where Cloud was sitting all alone. He snapped his phone shut, looked at his friend, and smiled.

"Hey, Cloud," he greeted, sitting down across from the cadet. Cloud smiled back before consuming a spoonful of soup.

"Hi, Zack." Cloud had been waiting all day to see him. He had been half asleep when Zack had left that morning, and so he didn't get a clear view of his smile until now. It was worth the wait, as it always was.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" Cloud asked when he noticed that Zack had no tray in front of him.

"I will. I just wanted to give you this first, and don't even think of paying me back," Zack said, pushing a ticket across the table to Cloud who picked it up and eyed it curiously.

"The annual Shinra party?"

"Yeah."

"What's it like? I-I've never actually been to one," Cloud timidly told the SOLDIER.

Cloud had only been thirteen years old when he had joined Shinra, and hadn't been interested in partying with adults. Perhaps he would have gone last year had he had someone to go with, but he wasn't exactly comfortable in social situations like this. Even though he had convinced himself that he was a good person, he still felt inferior to nearly everyone at Shinra.

Not only was Cloud self-conscious of his rank, he was also ashamed of his young age and small size. He would never tell anyone, not even Zack, but he was sometimes afraid that someone would take advantage of him if he were to go to such an event on his own. With Zack accompanying him, however, he didn't figure he would run into any trouble.

"Refreshments, music, dancing... It'll be fun," Zack answered.

Cloud imagined himself sitting awkwardly as men staggered around him drunk, and while women begged Zack for a dance. Then the scene shifted, and he imagined Zack begging _him_ for a dance while every infantryman, SOLDIER, and Turk watched in amusement. He quickly blinked to rid his mind of the thoughts, then looked back at his partner.

"I don't know, Zack. Parties aren't really my thing. And, please, don't take this personally, but I'm not totally comfortable with..." He glanced around, then leaned in across the table. "Just the two of us going."

"Which is why I've also invited Kunsel. And, don't worry, he's enough of a ladies' man to keep them away from both of us," Zack laughed. Cloud gave a halfhearted smile.

It was slightly reassuring to know that he wouldn't have women chasing after him, and hopefully not after Zack either, but Cloud still wasn't keen on the party idea. He didn't like crowds, especially drunken ones, and he didn't like noisy events, but what bothered him most was the fear that someone might find out about him and Zack. He didn't know what that might mean for either of them, but he didn't want to find out. It seemed safer to hide it, but Cloud worried that they wouldn't be able to stay together long if he wasn't willing to spend time with Zack when he was invited. And so, he gave in.

"O-okay, I'll go with you."

"Great."

"What should I wear?" Cloud asked.

"Doesn't matter. Some people wear their uniforms, some people dress up," Zack told him. "What you wore to dinner the other night was pretty nice," Zack winked. Cloud lowered his head to hide a blush, and continued to eat his soup.

"I'm gonna go get something to eat. Will you still be here?"

"I have outdoor training with our squad leader, actually," Cloud told him. He would have much preferred to stay and talk with Zack, even if Zack's conversations did embarrass him from time to time.

"Oh, too bad. I'll see you later, then?" Zack asked, getting up from his seat. Cloud nodded.

"Bye, kiddo." The SOLDIER ruffled his friend's hair, affectionately.

"Bye, Zack." Cloud watched his friend walk away and desperately hoped that everything would turn out okay; with the party, with Zack, with everything.

* * *

><p>Cloud decided not to go outside his comfort zone and opted to wear his uniform rather than his outfit from the other night with Zack. After training, however, it was in no state to be worn to a party. So, Cloud pulled on some casual clothes and walked down to the washrooms to clean it up. He wet a towel and scrubbed the spots of dirt, being careful to get it all out, or else he would have no choice but to wear something else. As he cleaned the material, his mind found its way back to Zack, and he started to wonder what would happen next between them.<p>

Last night had been Cloud's first real kiss, and it was the first step towards what might eventually lead to a deep intimacy with Zack. Cloud didn't know what would come next, or how fast the next event might follow. He had worried all along that he wouldn't be ready for what was to come, but this was the first time that he worried that he might actually be displeasing in some way. No one had ever loved him this way before, so he had no idea if his body was appealing, or if he would react like Zack wanted him to in certain situations. He didn't know exactly what Zack would do to him, and he definitely didn't know what Zack expected of him either. All he could do was hope that Zack would teach him everything he needed to know, and that they would take every new experience slowly, one step at a time.

Cloud then realized that he had completely stopped cleaning his uniform. His hands lay motionless in the sink. He picked the uniform up again and continued to wash the dirt out, feeling embarrassed that he had been thinking about such things, but assumed it was only natural to wonder about it all. He was inexperienced, but he wanted to have at least thought about the possibilities of what would happen before they actually did. That way, he would at least be mentally prepared, or so he hoped.

Cloud finished with the uniform and let the water drain from the sink, then hurried back to his room to hang it up. It would definitely be dry by tomorrow night.

* * *

><p>Zack showed up at Cloud's room just after the party had started since he had spent a few extra minutes making sure he looked just right. Cloud opened his door and was pleasantly surprised by Zack's apparel. He was wearing a white button-up shirt, much like the black one he had worn to dinner, with a black T-shirt showing underneath.<p>

"You look nice," Cloud told him, shyly, closing the door behind Zack as he entered.

"So do you," Zack smiled, placing a kiss on Cloud's lips.

"I look the same as always," Cloud answered when Zack pulled away.

"Yeah. You always look nice." Cloud smiled. He wished he'd had a Zack all his life who would always remind him that he was special. He wouldn't have had nearly so many self esteem issues when he was younger if that had been the case.

"You ready to go, Sunshine?" Zack asked. He felt the new nickname made Cloud seem even cuter than he already was, if that was even possible. The shy little smile that Cloud gave when he called him that was enough to make Zack want to hug him and never let go.

"One sec," Cloud said. He hurried over to his bed, lifted his pillow, and took his ticket out from underneath it.

"Ready," he said, waving the piece of paper.

"Mm-kay," Zack said, burying his face in Cloud's hair as he pulled him into an embrace. Cloud closed his eyes and let himself soak up the feeling of being in Zack's arms. He was safe there, appreciated there. Zack eventually let go and smiled down at the younger boy.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>The room was full of Shinra employees. A few women were dancing, some people were mingling and making conversation, and others sat at tables and along the bar counter. Had Cloud been more comfortable, Zack would have been proud to have him on his arm as they entered, but he was content to do as Cloud wanted and keep the appearance of friends.<p>

Zack gave a wave to Tseng and Cissnei who were standing in the corner with a group of Turks. Tseng looked at Zack uncomfortably and gave a brief wave back, while Cissnei smiled shyly and waved her hand back and forth. The thought of the Director's disappearance suddenly popped back into Zack's mind, and an unease set in. He would have to talk to Tseng about it later.

Zack spotted Kunsel at the bar and he looked down at Cloud.

"Is it okay if we sit with Kunsel?" Zack asked. To be honest, Cloud was a bit uncomfortable to go over there, but it was either that or stay alone with Zack which seemed too suspicious to him, even if it didn't seem that way to anyone else.

"Yeah, it's fine," he answered. Zack led him over to the bar counter, and Kunsel waved when Zack sat down beside him, the cadet on the other side of Zack.

"Hey, there. I'm Kunsel," the 2nd said, outstretching a hand to Cloud. Cloud shook it, but doubted he would ever recognize Kunsel again since he wore a helmet.

"Cloud," the cadet answered.

"So, have you had much fun yet?" Zack asked Kunsel.

"Not a lot. It only started about twenty minutes ago, and I didn't expect _you_ to be on time, Zack," Kunsel said, elbowing Zack in the side.

"Are you saying the fun doesn't start until I'm here?" Zack grinned. Kunsel rolled his eyes, and Zack laughed.

A few minutes passed while Kunsel and Zack conversed, and Cloud sat quietly, only half listening to what they were saying. A few times, Zack glanced over at Cloud and smiled sympathetically, and Cloud gave him brief smiles back. Zack understood this wasn't Cloud's kind of thing; Cloud was far from the rowdy type from what he could tell. He was completely and utterly fond of Cloud, but it didn't occur to him how little he really knew about him until Kunsel struck up the next conversation.

"So, Cloud, where are you from?" Kunsel asked him, after ordering himself a beer. Cloud's head snapped up in surprise when he realized the question had been directed at him.

"Oh, Nibelheim. I'm from Nibelhiem," he answered, quietly. He was still uneasy, even though Zack's friend was trying to make nice with him. That was probably what made him uncomfortable. He assumed Zack had encouraged the kindness towards him.

"That's a town with a mako reactor, right? Must be pretty far away, huh?" Kunsel asked.

"Yeah." Cloud noticed that the reactor seemed to be the only thing Nibelheim was known for, at least among the people at Shinra. Zack had commented on the same thing when they had met. Cloud couldn't deny that there wasn't much to say about Nibelheim, however, as he found himself lost for words after that point. He couldn't help but feel like he was the most boring person to ever have a conversation with. It made him wonder once again what made Zack take such an interest in him.

"So, are you missing home?" Kunsel asked, trying to keep the talk going, for Zack's sake as well as Cloud's.

"A bit. You know, now and then."

"You must not have been here at Shinra very long. You seem pretty young." Cloud tried not to take offense to that.

"I've been here for three years."

"I see. Do you like it?"

"Well, it's work," Cloud said, cracking what was almost a smile to show—or at least pretend—that he was enjoying being talked to, and Kunsel grinned as he took a swig of his drink.

At the same time, guilt was hitting Zack like a ton of bricks. He knew that Kunsel was just making small-talk with Cloud, but it was more than he had ever done. He had never asked Cloud about home or work or anything like that. He had been too busy trying to build a romantic bond to remember that it was probably common courtesy to ask Cloud about his life. Sure, he had known that he was from Nibelheim, but other than that, everything that he had told Kunsel was new information to him. Zack promised himself that he would learn everything he could about Cloud. It could only make them grow closer, and Zack longed for that.

It wasn't long before the music was cranked up louder and it became difficult to hear each other speak, so the three turned their attention to the people dancing in the middle of the room. It was funny to watch the normally stiff and somber Shinra staff go crazy on the dance floor in their drunken state; it was like seeing different people. Kunsel was becoming not-so-sober himself as the bottles beside him began to add up. Zack could see the tension increase in Cloud's face and posture and he gently placed a hand on his thigh.

"You okay?" Zack asked. Cloud was surprised by the contact.

"Yeah, fine," Cloud answered, quickly, hoping Zack would remove his hand before long. Kunsel, even in his half-drunken state thought Zack's action was a little beyond what a man would do to his male friend. But, hell, what did he know? He was drunk. Zack withdrew his hand, and more time slipped away as they watched the party around them.

They had only been there for an hour and a half before Kunsel had gotten himself completely wasted.

"Nibelheim, huh? Nibelheim, I never been to Nibelheim," Kunsel kept saying, his words slurring together. Cloud looked at Zack uncomfortably, and Zack nodded.

"Come on. Let's head back," Zack said.

"Are you sure? I don't want to ruin the party for you," Cloud said, hanging his head low.

"You're not ruining it. It wasn't much fun anyway. Now, come on. Let's get Kunsel back to his room."

"You guys are like... like my best friends ever!" Kunsel bellowed, then followed it with a whoop. Zack stood up and put Kunsel's arm around his neck.

"Okay, your best friends are going to take you back to your room now, okay?" Zack said, laughing as Kunsel gave him a stunned look from under his mask. Cloud stood up and followed as Zack led his drunken friend away from the party.

* * *

><p>Zack and Cloud took Kunsel up to the 2nd class SOLDIER floor and got him settled away in his room, then Zack looked at Cloud apologetically as he closed Kunsel's door.<p>

"I'm sorry, Cloud," he said, staring at the floor.

"It's okay. It's my fault we—"

"Do you want to come back to my room?" Cloud froze and looked up at the SOLDIER. It was obvious that Zack wanted him to, otherwise he wouldn't have asked. And even though Cloud was unsure of what might happen with the two of them alone in Zack's private suite, he wanted to go. He wanted to be with him.

"O-okay," Cloud said, giving Zack a nervous smile. Zack gave Cloud one of those loving, comforting smiles that seemed to make the rest of the world fall away, and Cloud felt confident in his decision to follow him.

"This way."

Zack led Cloud up one flight of stairs from where they were—each SOLDIER class had its own floor—then led him down a hallway until they came to door 16. Zack slid his Shinra ID through the card reader on his door and pushed the handle down when the light flashed. He turned the light on in the room and held the door open, allowing Cloud to walk in first, and smiled when he saw the blond's mouth open in awe.

Cloud took in the size and luxuriousness of Zack's apartment. It was open concept; to the left of the door was a kitchenette, and to the right was his living room. There was a door on the far wall across from the main door which Cloud assumed led to the bathroom, and another door to the right of the living room in which Cloud could see Zack's bed.

"This is incredible," Cloud said, turning around in a slow circle so he could take it all in.

"Glad you like it," Zack chuckled, closing the door behind them.

Zack sat down on his couch, and motioned Cloud over. The boy sat down and Zack looked over at him.

"Tonight made me realize that I don't know you as well as I'd like to," Zack said, and Cloud could hear a sadness in Zack's voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I never asked you about your life or your home..."

"It doesn't matter," Cloud told him. Perhaps it would be better not to bore Zack with stories of his old life.

"Well, _I_ think it does."

"I don't know if—"

"Look, we have all the time in the world. Can we just... talk?"

Cloud stared into Zack's glowing blue eyes, and couldn't say no. Here was someone who wanted to know about him, who was willing to listen, who cared about him, and so there was no reason to object. Cloud nodded, and began talking.

He told Zack that he'd lived with his mother, that his father had left them and had later died, that the children in the town had treated him unfairly, and that he wanted to impress his mother by becoming SOLDIER. Then, it was Zack's turn to tell. He told Cloud about his parents, about his home in Gongaga, and about being one of only two kids in the village. Each listened eagerly to the other's stories until they ran out of things to say.

The music from the party could still be faintly heard, even in the apartment, but the tempo had slowed down. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, simply enjoying each other's company, Zack turned to Cloud.

"Do you want to dance?" Zack offered his hand out, and Cloud smiled, shyly.

"I'll feel silly."

"Why? It's only me."

Cloud reluctantly took Zack's hand, and they stood up. Cloud didn't exactly know what to do, never having slow danced with anyone before. Zack placed one of Cloud's hands on his shoulder, and took the other one in his own. He then placed his other hand on Cloud's back, and gently pulled him in closer. Cloud stood awkwardly at first, then became less rigid as Zack slowly led them in a circle. Cloud soon felt himself easing closer and closer to Zack until his head was resting on Zack's chest. Zack then gently rested his head on top of Cloud's, and Cloud was hit with a harsh realization; he wasn't going to return to these arms for much longer than he would have liked.

"Z-zack, I forgot to tell you. I have to go on a mission. I'm leaving tomorrow," he said, keeping his face against Zack's warm body. A loneliness swept over Zack the mere sound of those words.

"You are? When will you be back?"

"They say we'll be gone for a week. A whole team of infantrymen is being dispatched to kill off some monsters in Mount Corel. They're causing trouble for the trains."

"Mount Corel, huh?"

"Yeah. We're going by boat from Junon to Costa del Sol, then we'll walk to Mount Corel from there," Cloud said.

"They're sending a team of cadets to take care of monsters? Shouldn't that be a job for a SOLDIER?" Zack asked.

"I don't know," Cloud said, staring at the troubled expression on Zack's face. Zack was worried, not only for Cloud's safety, but also for the well-being of Shinra and its employees. There would be trouble if they started sending employees out to do other employees' jobs. SOLDIER were top of the rank for a reason; they could do things that lower classes were physically incapable of doing. Not wanting to hurt Cloud's feelings, however, he let the topic go for the time being, and pulled the boy closer to him.

"Let's not worry about it. Let's just stay like this for now," he whispered, nuzzling his face into the head of blond hair. As they slowly danced in a circle, Cloud caught sight of the bright lights through the window.

"Look, Zack," Cloud said, pulling his partner towards the glass. Fireworks were filling the sky. Blue, red, green, yellow; every colour imaginable rose into the sky and exploded, sprinkling the dark background with lights. Zack hurried over to the door and turned the lights off in the apartment so they could get a better look, then returned to Cloud's side, and wrapped an arm around him. They stayed like that, watching in silence, even after the fireworks had ended. Neither one wanted to move and leave the other, but each secretly hoped the week alone would make their next moment together even more precious.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm a day late updating again, but at least I got it up, right? I'll try to update next week-end even though it will be a busy one with Christmas and all.

Aside from that, um, story details. Zack calling Cloud "Sunshine" has become a sort of fanon on this site, and I personally find it adorable so I put my own spin on why he calls him that. Other than that, I don't really think I have anything else to talk about. So, thanks for reading/reviewing/faving/etc! Keep it up!


	8. Chapter 8

Cloud followed behind the other troops, trying his best to keep up and finding it difficult to clamber over the unkempt path. Cloud could cross country terrain without problem, but broken railroad tracks were another story. The monsters had clearly torn them apart, and had also evidently caused some accidents with the trains. It was no wonder they had closed them and sent for troops.

"Monsters, up ahead!" their 2nd class leader yelled from the front of the line. Cloud took a deep, shaky breath and pulled his gun off of his tired back. The other men did the same and prepared themselves for the incoming attackers. Two Needle Kiss enemies and a Cokatolis approached them at a steady rate.

"The flying ones have thunder attacks!" the 2nd informed the others. Cloud and the others began firing when the command was given to them, but the enemies were travelling too quickly for the cadets to aim correctly. One Needle Kiss swooped down without warning, knocking two of the men backwards into Cloud. The three of them fell onto the tracks and watched helplessly as their weapons fell into the water below. Cloud was overcome with a moment of sheer panic. He was without a gun and they were under attack, not to mention, they were nowhere near an exit. The other two men who had fallen quickly picked themselves back up, and Cloud took a minute to figure out his next move. He looked around himself desperately, and knew he had no choice but to make do with what he had. He picked up a slim piece of metal from the tracks and held it up.

"What are you doing?" one of the men demanded, staring at him like he was crazy.

"Zack taught us to use swords, too. It's our only chance," Cloud answered, swinging the piece of metal the way Zack had taught him to use a blade. He forced himself to focus only on Zack's lesson. The two other men who had lost their weapons followed Cloud's example and picked up what they could find on the tracks. The 2nd was doing his best to take on the Cokatolis, and the cadets with guns shot at the Needle Kisses.

Before long, both of the fliers had been taken down, and all that remained was the Cokatolis. One of the cadets raised his gun to shoot, but the enemy was one step ahead of him, and hit him with a blast of petrification.

"It can turn you to stone! Careful!" the 2nd shouted. Cloud really wasn't in any position to criticize a SOLDIER's work, but felt that the 2nd should have been more focused on killing the beast than on announcing its attacks. After all, the infantrymen could _see_ its attacks for themselves.

Thinking of Zack, and everything he'd taught him, Cloud lifted his makeshift weapon and ran towards the Cokatolis, catching it off guard, slashing it twice, then penetrating its heart before it could do anything. It fell dead to the ground, and the men stared in astonishment at Cloud. None of them had ever heard him say more than two words aside from what he'd said today, and he was the smallest fighter in all of Shinra. There was reason to be amazed.

"Strife, where did that come from?" one of them asked.

"You may not be the best at obstacles, but man, that was impressive," another one said, patting Cloud on the back. Cloud only wished it could have been Zack giving him the praise. These guys had hardly acknowledged his existence until now, so it meant next to nothing coming from them.

"Good job, Strife," the 2nd congratulated him after a minute, but continued to stare at Cloud after he'd looked away. The man stood deep in thought, for there was something abnormal about the young infantryman's power.

* * *

><p>Zack sat in Tseng's office, waiting for a response to his outburst. Tseng simply reclined in his chair, resting his chin on his hand.<p>

"You think they should have sent _you_ on the mission to Mount Corel?"

"They're only infantrymen. It's not that I'm doubting their abilities—I'm not—but their lives are in danger because they don't have the physical enhancements that members of SOLDIER have!" Zack said, trying to get his point across. He'd had knots in his stomach from worrying about Cloud since he'd left the day before.

"What would you have Shinra do? The mission is already underway," Tseng answered, keeping his usual calm tone.

"I know, but why were the infantrymen sent in the first place?"

"You know as well as anyone that Shinra is down to minimal SOLDIER units. We have to share the missions around with other ranks." This only infuriated Zack.

"You mean to tell me that they are sent out to their deaths while you keep me here doing nothing but training the lower ranks?" Tseng sat in silence for a long moment. Zack had a point.

Perhaps they couldn't afford to keep Zack from his duties as SOLDIER any longer. He had now recovered enough from Angeal's death that there was no worry about him becoming distracted on his more serious missions. And Shinra truly would be getting into trouble if their elite group was no longer in action.

"Normally, I would tell you to talk to the Director about it, but because of the circumstances, I'll have to talk to my superiors about this," Tseng said, giving Zack a dismissing tone. Zack, however, wasn't ready to leave.

"That's the other thing I want to talk to you about. I didn't hear until the other day that the Director is missing. What do you know about it?" he asked.

"Unfortunately, the company only knows about as much as you do. He disappeared just after the attack on Shinra."

"Do you have any idea why? I mean, was he taken away, or did he just leave?"

"We're uncertain at this point, but it's currently being investigated. I wouldn't recommend talking about it too much, either. It's a sensitive topic around here right now with the President trying to keep it hush-hush."

"I see, but if you get word of anything—?"

"I'll let you know," Tseng assured him. Zack nodded and got up from his seat.

"And, Zack?" The SOLDIER looked up when the Turk spoke. "Until I check out the matter on your SOLDIER responsibilities, I want you to continue training the cadets, even if some of them are out on missions right now."

Zack wasn't exactly pleased with that, but he nodded in agreement anyway. He had asked for enough from Tseng to put up a fight now. He closed the door behind him and, having nothing better to do, he simply returned to his room.

* * *

><p>It was a long seven days before Cloud and the troops found themselves on the way back to Shinra. Cloud dragged his feet along the ground on the trek back to Costa del Sol, and he slept for the entire boat ride to Junon. His shoulders were constantly burning and he had absolutely no strength left.<p>

He had used the piece of metal from the tracks as a weapon all week, and it was much heavier than a regular sword. Even if he'd had a proper weapon, Cloud had still overexerted himself, and he was used to the after-effects of doing so. He would push himself so hard, then spend the next several days trying to recover from it. The weakness he could deal with, because he knew the SOLDIER he was headed home to would take care of him. But he would need something for the pain.

* * *

><p>Zack was anxious for training to start. He had gotten an e-mail from Kunsel reporting that Cloud's troop had returned from their mission—Zack had asked him to let him know since Kunsel knew all the news surrounding Shinra—and it was Cloud's group of cadets that he was going to be training right then. He watched expectantly as the infantrymen filed in, and furrowed his brow when he saw no sign of the blond. A lot of men were missing from the group in fact, and although Zack could understand them not feeling like attending right after a mission, he assumed at least Cloud would come. He waited a few extra minutes before starting the session in case Cloud was just running late, but when he didn't show, Zack reluctantly started without him.<p>

Zack tidied up the training room as quickly as he could after the session was over so he could go and find his friend. He pressed the button to the elevator and the door opened to reveal Cloud standing right there.

"Hey, there you are," Zack said, but couldn't manage a smile because of the sight before him. Cloud looked exhausted; the dark circles under his eyes were good indicators of that, as well as the way he stood with his shoulders slumped forward.

"Hi, Za—" He hadn't even gotten the words out before Zack interrupted.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Fine," Cloud answered. Zack walked inside the elevator and closed the door, then put a hand to Cloud's forehead.

"You're burning up."

"I'm just tired. Rough trip," Cloud said. Zack stared at the boy for a moment, as if deep in thought, then went back to his playful self and ruffled Cloud's hair.

"So, where were you headed?" Zack asked.

"I was actually going to find you."

"You missed training," Zack said, pressing the button for the 1st class floor.

"Sorry, I didn't feel up to it," Cloud answered, rubbing his arm. This caused Zack to re-analyze Cloud and his fatigued disposition. There was no way he would let him take on another mission that was cut out for classes above him. It obviously put too much strain on him.

The elevator gave a short ring, and the door opened.

"What you need is to relax in some hot water," Zack said, pushing Cloud out the door and down the hallway towards his room.

"That's okay. I can just use the showers downstairs," Cloud protested, sensing that he was about to be thrown into an awkward situation.

"No, I insist," Zack grinned.

"Zack, please, no. I'll just use the infantrymen showers, and I'll be back in no time," he said, forcing a smile so that it might take away from the fact that he was opposed to Zack's idea. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the offer—he did—he would just rather take a shower without having to be naked in Zack's apartment.

"Can I at least fix you something to eat first?" Zack asked, looking hopeful. Cloud half-smiled and nodded in agreement.

Zack opened the door to his room and Cloud hesitantly walked in. Zack shut the door behind him, threw his Shinra ID on the counter, then came up behind Cloud and put his arms around him. Cloud flinched slightly as pain ran through his shoulders from the contact, but he didn't want to tell Zack to stop.

"I missed you," Zack sighed. Cloud closed his eyes and put his hands on top of Zack's.

"I missed you, too." They stayed like that for a moment until Cloud's stomach growled hungrily, and Zack let out a chuckle.

"Let's get you something to eat," Zack smiled, letting go of Cloud. He motioned for him to sit down at the table, so Cloud pulled out one of the two wooden chairs and took a seat. Cloud watched the man root through his cupboards, curiously, and realized how cute he could be sometimes. The blond was brought out of his thoughts when Zack spoke to him.

"I don't have a lot of ingredients on hand. Is a jam sandwich okay?" he asked. Cloud giggled, and Zack tilted his head to the side in a questioning manner.

"I'm sorry. It just reminds me of when I was a kid. I used to eat them all the time."

"So did I," Zack answered, and Cloud looked up at him in surprise. They smiled at each other, then Zack spoke again.

"So, is that a yes?"

* * *

><p>Zack made a jam sandwich for each of them, and cut up apple slices and arranged them in a circle on the outer edge of the plate. Cloud complimented him on his talent for making the food look so appetizing, which earned a wide grin from Zack. When they had finished eating, Cloud stood up and took his plate over to the sink and started washing it.<p>

"Hey, don't worry about that," Zack protested, walking over and putting his hands over Cloud's to stop him.

"I have to do _something_ for you. You made me supper," Cloud told him.

"It was kind of a pathetic supper so you shouldn't have to do anything. Anyway, you go on and get your shower. Then you can pay me back," Zack smirked, raising his eyebrows up and down. He knew he was taking a chance by talking to Cloud that way, but he had a feeling that Cloud was no longer so nervous about being with him.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Cloud playfully nudged Zack in the chest. Zack smiled at Cloud's reaction.

"I guess you'll have to come back to find out." Cloud stared at him incredulously, and then brought his gaze back down to the sink.

"You're crazy," he mumbled, grinning slightly.

"What did you say, Sunshine?" Zack asked, moving his head down into the crook of Cloud's neck and ran his tongue along the skin, causing the boy to shriek.

"Oh, ticklish, are we?" Zack grinned, bringing his face back up to look at Cloud's. The boy was ready for him, however, and quickly flicked some water at him with his hand. Zack jumped back in surprise and Cloud grinned wildly.

"Oh, now you've done it!" Cloud let out another shriek as Zack lurched forward, grabbing him around the middle and tickling him. Hysteric laughter followed as Zack's fingers moved along Cloud's sensitive sides. The more Cloud laughed, the more Zack laughed along with him. Cloud ignored his aching shoulders. After all, he didn't have much of a choice.

"Okay, okay... I surrender!" Cloud cried out in between bursts of laughter, but Zack was having too much fun seeing the boy so happy.

"Oh yeah? Surrendering means you have to give me a kiss," Zack teased, as he continued his relentless tickling. Cloud laughed harder as Zack's hands travelled to his stomach, and his knees gave out from the laughter. Zack held on to him, however, and made sure he didn't fall to the floor.

"Okay, I'll kiss you! I'll kiss—" Cloud was cut off by another burst of laughter erupting from his throat. Zack stopped his torture, and let Cloud regain his breath as well as his balance. Then the boy turned around to face his elder and smiled as the rest of his chuckles died down. Then he closed the distance between them and tilted his chin up to give Zack his winning prize. Zack lowered his head so he could reach—Zack was a fair bit taller than him—and when their lips touched, it was like the first time all over again. There was just as much excitement and enthusiasm as each of them yearned for the other. Cloud tried his best to taste Zack's lips as much as he could; he wanted to remember them.

The kiss ended when Cloud pulled away, and Zack stroked a strand of his blond hair that hung down and framed his face.

"It's good to have you back, Cloud," Zack whispered. Cloud put a hand on Zack's and closed his eyes.

"Thanks, Zack." Cloud eventually let go and Zack dropped his hand as well. Cloud cleared his throat and glanced at the clock on the wall.

"I guess I should get my shower now."

* * *

><p>Kunsel walked up to Zack's door, wanting to invite him out for a bite of supper with a few of the other SOLDIER guys, but refrained from knocking when he heard squealing and laughter on the other side of the door. He could hear Zack's laughter, as well as someone else's... Another <em>guy<em>?

Kunsel was surprised at first, and although his first instinct was to tell someone about it, he decided not to gossip about his best friend. Besides, it could just be some innocent fun. After all, Zack deserved to be happy and do something aside from work. Kunsel turned and walked back down the hall towards the elevator. _Yes_, _innocent fun_, he thought to himself. That's what he would believe until he learned more.

* * *

><p>Cloud didn't even bother to stop back at his room before or after showering. He just wanted to return to Zack as soon as he could. Perhaps he should have changed out of his sweaty and dirty uniform that he had worn for the whole mission, but it didn't even occur to him. Zack was all that made sense to him right then. He thought back to the way Zack had gotten him to laugh earlier and he smiled. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed that hard, or laughed at all, really. He chuckled at Luxiere's jokes sometimes, but it was more out of courtesy than from being entertained. With Zack, he truly felt happy, and Cloud realized that this was the first time he had <em>ever<em> felt that way. He had a place with Zack, a place where he belonged.

Cloud gave a quiet knock on Zack's door, and Zack quickly opened up with a smile on his face. The smile was contagious and spread quickly to Cloud's lips. Even though he had only been gone about half an hour, Cloud felt a sense of relief just by being back in the comfort of Zack's presence. Zack held the door open again for Cloud and let him enter. Cloud hadn't forgotten what Zack had said before he left, but decided not to open his mouth until Zack had shut the door.

"Now, what kind of payment did you want?" he asked. Zack stared at Cloud in awe for a minute, then laughed.

"I didn't mean it, Cloudy. You don't owe me anything. I just want to spend time with you." On the contrary, Cloud felt like he owed everything to Zack. Zack had brought him out of his shell, had made him feel wanted. He had to pay him back, even if it was embarrassing. In the back of his mind, Cloud wanted to proceed with him anyway.

Zack took his hand and led him over to the couch. They both sat down, and Cloud tried to look at anything but the man next to him as he tried to come up with the least awkward way to give him the invitation.

"So, what do you want to do tonight? We could watch TV, or we could go out for a while," Zack suggested.

"Zack, you like me, don't you?" Cloud asked, keeping his eyes on his sleeve in order to distract himself.

"Of course, I do," Zack answered, eyeing the boy worriedly to make sure nothing was wrong.

"You _really_ like me?"

"Yeah."

"Then don't you want to kiss me?" the blond asked. Zack thought this was a strange question. Of course he wanted to kiss him, but he sometimes feared it would be unwanted.

"Do you want me to?" Zack asked, looking deep into his partner's eyes, searching for the answer. With Cloud, there always seemed to be a bit of uncertainty, and Zack needed to know that his decisions were the right ones before he went ahead with something.

"Yes." Cloud looked him in the eye when he said this, and Zack stared at him for a moment until he confirmed that the boy had meant what he'd said.

Zack delicately ran a hand along Cloud's face and jaw, then brushed his lips over Cloud's like a ghost passing over them. The blond shivered as he felt Zack's breath on his lips, and then he felt them lock with Zack's. Zack caressed the skin, massaging Cloud's lower lip between his own. He then toyed with the skin by nipping it gently with his teeth. The SOLDIER then pulled the cadet's body close against him, and let his hand drop down to the small of his partner's back to rub it in a circular motion. Zack's touch caused Cloud to arch his back, and unintentionally part his lips when a moan escaped them. Zack answered this with a noise of his own, and took this as an opportunity for his tongue to invade Cloud's mouth. Cloud met Zack's tongue with his own in a sudden need for him.

Cloud was having a hard time forming any thoughts due to the euphoria that was making his mind hazy, and it was only getting worse. All his mind was telling him was that anything other than Zack didn't matter, and he needed more of whatever it was Zack was giving him; _ecstasy_ is what it was. Zack's movements, his kisses, his touches, all of them were taking Cloud to a place beyond rational thinking.

On the other hand, as much as Zack was enjoying drinking up every moment of pure Cloud, he worried about what would happen when the excitement died off, and Cloud realized what they had done. The boy didn't seem to be protesting, however, and Zack wasn't positive he could have stopped unless Cloud had pleaded him to.

Zack manoeuvred them both so that Cloud was lying down on the couch below him. The SOLDIER withdrew his tongue from Cloud's mouth and trailed kisses down his face until he reached the boy's neck. With the hand that wasn't on Cloud's back, he removed the cadet's scarf to expose some more skin. Cloud whimpered as Zack grazed his neck, then moved down to the tip of his collarbone.

"Cloud, can I take this off?" Zack asked, lifting his head and placing a hand on the belt that was around Cloud's middle.

"Yeah," Cloud breathed. Zack rid him of his belt and suspenders, then slipped a hand under his shirt, inducing a shiver from the boy.

"Zack... Za-ck..." Cloud moaned, which only made Zack want more. He had never heard anything sound more beautiful, more enticing, than the way Cloud uttered his name so lustfully. Zack almost wished he could stop and wait until Cloud was aware of how fast things were moving along, but at that moment he couldn't.

"Lift up," Zack instructed, as he guided Cloud's back upwards just enough so that he could slide his shirt up some more. After doing so, Cloud lay back down, and Zack began a new journey. He started in on Cloud's torso by running a finger from his chest downwards, causing Cloud to tremble.

"Is it okay if I go further?" Zack managed to ask. Zack's blurred mind was still aware of Cloud's concerns, involving how patient and slow Cloud wanted him to be when they got into things like this. Zack didn't want to ruin everything because of one time he couldn't protect or be considerate of Cloud when they got out of control. Zack's question seemed to bring Cloud back to earth because he looked at Zack with a slight look of worry on his face, and his eyes looked less hazy than they had only moments ago.

"Z-zack?" he whimpered out.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stop if you think we're going too far?" Cloud asked. He realized that he didn't know how to stop Zack because these intense feelings were making it hard for him to think. It would be best to let Zack handle it. It was probably less risky than leaving it up to himself, because he was afraid he would never tell Zack to stop.

"Sure," Zack answered, his breathing heavy.

Cloud nodded and lay his head down against the couch as Zack lowered his head to kiss Cloud's chest. He flicked a finger over the boy's nipple before letting his lips lead him down his torso. The skin was soft and pale, and still smelled sweet from whatever soap Cloud had used during his shower. Cloud watched as Zack kissed the tender skin around his navel, then dipped his tongue inside, making Cloud's hips buck up against Zack's stomach. It drew Zack's attention to the arousal between Cloud's legs, as well as the one between his own. He quickly moved away from Cloud's abdomen, and pulled his shirt down to deter the temptation. He sat on the far end of the couch, no longer in contact with his partner.

"Cloud, we should stop." Zack glanced over at the boy and watched as he continued to release quick, heaving breaths. The SOLDIER wanted desperately to stroke his face and calm him down, but knew that more physical contact probably wouldn't be the best course of action. Cloud's breathing eventually started to slow, and as it did, every emotion, kiss, and touch began to replay in his mind.

"Zack?" Cloud inhaled, preparing to speak further, but an unexpected sob emerged from his throat. Cloud buried his face in his hands as the sob was followed by several more. Zack couldn't hold back anymore.

"Hey, hey..." Zack spoke, trying to comfort the boy. He moved to the other end of the couch and pulled the boy up against his chest.

"You're okay..." Zack stroked Cloud's hair as the boy cried against him, and wished he could take back the last few moments. He should have stopped earlier.

It didn't take Cloud long to stop crying because he was ashamed of how pathetic he felt he was being. He pulled away from Zack, and gave him a smile, which wasn't very convincing while those tear-stained cheeks still remained.

"Cloud, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that," Zack told him, looking him in the eye so Cloud would see the honesty of his apology.

"No, it's not your fault," Cloud replied, forcing another smile.

"Yes, it is. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have gone so far. I don't ever want to make you cry."

"It's not because of what you did. You didn't make me cry." Cloud avoided Zack's eye contact while he spoke.

"Then what?"

"I'm just... embarrassed." Zack wanted to ask what he was embarrassed about, but decided not to make him talk about it anymore unless he brought it up himself. It was just as well; Cloud had a list of reasons why he was embarrassed, but he was too ashamed at the moment to even think about them.

"Can we watch TV now?" Cloud asked.

* * *

><p>The two sat on the couch, watching some documentary on Basilisks which was just at the part where they were explaining the petrification process, but Cloud's mind was on anything but the TV. He was confused about what had happened with Zack. He had been the one to coax Zack into it in the first place, but he found himself doubting whether he had really wanted it. Perhaps he just wanted to please Zack. And what Zack had done to him had felt good, but wrong. And that wrongness he felt was because he had lost control of himself throughout it.<p>

He'd had to give Zack the responsibility of stopping them because he was too busy drowning in his euphoria. Cloud never wanted to lose himself like that again, nor did he want to put Zack under that kind of pressure again. He was sure it hadn't been easy for the SOLDIER to stop on his own. It would have been easier if Cloud had been alert enough to let Zack know when enough was enough.

Cloud felt his mind slowly become tired of thinking and scolding, and he felt his body start to relax to the point of drowsiness. A few times, he started to doze off and would wake up with his head on Zack's shoulder. Then he would sit up straight again, Zack would smile at him and tell him it was okay for him to sleep there, then he would shake his head and try to stay awake for a few more minutes. This happened several times until Zack suggested he lie down and rest his head in his lap. Cloud reluctantly agreed to this, and Zack scooted over to the end of the couch, allowing Cloud the room he needed to lie down. Then Cloud gently lay his head down on Zack's lap, and watched some more of the documentary while Zack stoked his hair.

Even though their sensual moment had somewhat upset him, it wasn't enough to keep him from feeling comfortable with Zack. He could tell that Zack was still on edge about the incident from the way he was holding himself so stiffly, and by the way his perfect smile was somewhat askew when he showed it. Cloud could tell he felt guilty, and he wished he wouldn't, but Cloud didn't want to talk about the incident right then even if it would make Zack feel better.

* * *

><p>The sound of a particularly loud commercial woke Cloud up, and he looked up above him only to see that Zack had fallen asleep too. The moon was shining in the window, and the sky hadn't been black—like it was now—the last time he had looked out. The blond sat himself up and Zack stirred when he did.<p>

"Hey, what's wrong?" Zack asked, watching as Cloud scrambled to pick up the pieces of his uniform that had been discarded earlier that evening.

"I need to get back to my room," the boy said, urgently, as he re-attached his suspenders. Zack glanced at his watch.

"It's eleven-thirty, bud. You won't be able to get back without getting caught," Zack answered.

"_You_ risked coming to _my_ room."

"Your punishment would be worse than mine if you were caught. I don't want you to get in trouble. Why don't you just stay the night?" Cloud stared at Zack, wide-eyed.

"N-no, that would be intruding. I'll be fine," he said, getting up and heading to put his boots on. Zack hurriedly got up from the couch and followed.

"You won't be intruding. Besides, I'd kind of like the company," Zack said, trying to convince him, but Cloud had already started lacing up one of his boots.

"No, that's okay."

"This is about before, isn't it?" Cloud froze only for a minute, then slowly brought his gaze up to meet Zack's.

"Can we just talk about it?" Zack asked.

"W-what is there to say?" Cloud asked back, staring at the floor.

"I just want to tell you that I'm sorry, and that I will always wait until I'm sure you're ready for whatever we're doing." Cloud nodded, but said nothing.

"I don't want to hurt you, Cloud. I love you." Zack watched as Cloud slowly looked up at him, his expression soft.

"You... love me?" Cloud repeated. He looked like he was about to cry.

"Yeah. I love you." Zack was surprised that his words were having such a big impact on the boy. He had figured Cloud had known all along that he loved him, even though it was never said. He was starting to wonder whether or not Cloud had ever received the love he deserved, whether it was from friends, family, whatever. Zack had an important role; he was Cloud's lover now, and he had to make sure he gave him everything he could.

"Cloud, will you please stay the night?"

"I... I'll need something to sleep in."

* * *

><p>Zack lent Cloud a pair of his plaid sleeping pants and a t-shirt, both of which were too big for him, but it wasn't a huge concern; Cloud rolled the pant legs up around his ankles and pinned the waistband so the pants wouldn't fall down. It would have been humorous had Zack and Cloud not been so on edge.<p>

Zack led Cloud to his bedroom and held the bed covers up to allow Cloud to crawl in first. Then he covered him up with the blankets and turned off the light. Cloud felt the bed sink down when Zack lay down beside him. SOLDIERs received double beds, which most of the time was a luxury; now it was a convenience.

"You okay, Cloud?" Zack asked, after a minute of silence.

"Yeah," Cloud answered. It was a lie. He was becoming more and more embarrassed as the night went on. Now it was because he was about to sleep in a bed with another man. Luckily, Zack was pretty good at identifying Cloud's lies.

"You're uncomfortable," he stated.

"N-no, I'm not."

"Then why are you lying facing away from me?" Zack asked. Cloud fidgeted as he tried to come up with an answer, but to no avail.

"Look, I know you're embarrassed, but can we talk about why?" Cloud stayed silent for a long moment before he spoke.

"I didn't want you to see me like that," he said.

"Like what?"

"When you were kissing me. I just let myself give in. I-I'd never done anything like that before so I didn't know what would happen." Cloud was thankful for the darkness of the room because it hid his flushing face.

"That's okay. It was your first time. It's normal."

"And..." Cloud didn't finish.

"What?" Zack asked.

"It's nothing."

"If it's bothering you, say it."

"I'm just embarrassed... about myself," Cloud answered, his voice weakening at the end of his sentence.

"Why?" Zack asked, his tone implying that he had no idea why Cloud would say such a thing when he was obviously so special.

"Zack, I'm the smallest cadet in all of Shinra. I have no muscles, I'm just not—" Cloud was lost for words. What he was trying to say was that he was ashamed of his measly little body, but it just didn't feel right talking about his body to another guy, even if he was his... _boyfriend_. No, that word didn't feel right either.

"Hey," Zack said, comfortingly. "Look at me." Cloud slowly flipped onto his back, and turned his head to look at Zack, or what he could make out of him in the darkness.

"You're beautiful, Cloud," Zack told him. Cloud had a hard time believing it, however. "And please, don't be embarrassed in front of me. I care about you."

Cloud figured Zack must have been quite the ladies' man before he'd started dating him because he really knew how to talk to people. Not many guys Cloud knew could talk things out the way Zack did, not to mention his words came straight from the heart. That was one thing Cloud really admired about the SOLDIER; he had a big heart, and he stayed true to it.

"Besides, how do you know I'd be more attracted to you if you were muscular? You're the first guy I've liked, so it's impossible to know," Zack said, trying to lighten the mood.

"I guess," Cloud answered.

"Look, I love you for more than what's on the outside. I always have. Your personality's what drew me to you in the first place, and I just love everything about you."

"Zack, can you say those words again?" Cloud asked, suddenly.

"Which words?" Zack asked. He saw Cloud smiling softly at him, even through the darkness, and he clued in.

"I love you, Cloud," the SOLDIER whispered.

Perhaps Cloud should have returned the same words to Zack, but he wasn't ready, and he'd had enough for one day of things he wasn't ready for.

"So, no more embarrassment?" Zack asked the boy.

"For now," Cloud nodded. Zack smiled and placed a gentle kiss on the cadet's forehead.

"Goodnight, Zack," Cloud said, as he rolled back onto his side. Zack sighed in contentment.

"Sweet dreams, Sunshine."

* * *

><p>AN: Hey everybody! I hope everyone had a good holiday break. And Happy New Year's Eve!

So, first of all, yeah, things are certainly heating up for these two. The adventure-ish plot does pick up more throughout the next few chapters, but don't worry 'cause the romance isn't going anywhere. Hopefully all the Clack stuff isn't too cliche. I am aware that a lot of it is pretty sappy. Anyway, in the first part where Cloud is on that mission, I looked up those enemies on the Final Fantasy Wiki, so you can check them out if you want to. They had pictures of them when I last looked.

Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I started writing this after I'd been playing FFVII, so there might be some stuff that's not common knowledge to those who only played Crisis Core. I think locations might be the biggest thing. I do put in quite a few FFVII locations that aren't seen in CC. I don't think it's too hard to follow, though, even if you haven't played both/either game. I think that's it for now. And if someone wants to leave me a New Year's present... please review! Thanks to those who have been reading/reviewing/faving!


	9. Chapter 9

Cloud woke up before five o'clock the next morning. He was so used to waking up early for outdoor training that he hardly needed the sound of the commander's whistle to wake him up anymore. He yawned, and rolled over so he could see Zack sleeping away. After several minutes of just watching him, Cloud decided to go over in his mind every aspect that made Zack so attractive.

He had a handsome face which was accentuated when he smiled, and Cloud had recently found himself admiring his jaw structure, much to his embarrassment. Even the new scar on his left cheek—the one he'd gotten in Modeoheim—added beauty to him.

Cloud bravely ran a hand through Zack's soft, inky black hair and sighed, wishing he could stay longer. He wanted to apologize for the way he'd acted the night before, but it was imperative that he get back before he needed to report for duty. He moved to get up, but was stopped as he felt a searing pain in his shoulders. His eyes shut in discomfort as he waited for the burning to stop. He inwardly cursed his body for not recovering fast enough. He tried to sit up again, succeeding this time, and felt a hand wrap around his arm.

"Don't go," Zack said, his eyes still closed. Cloud stared back at him for a minute, then hung his head low.

"I have to."

"Just wait a few minutes. You'll have plenty of time to get back." Zack lifted the blanket up as a way of coaxing the boy to lie back down beside him. Cloud hesitated a moment, but decided spending a little longer with Zack wouldn't hurt. He lay down again facing the SOLDIER, and pulled the covers up as Zack pulled him in close against him. Cloud shyly nuzzled his face in against Zack's t-shirt while Zack lovingly rubbed his back.

"What's your schedule for today?" Zack asked, softly.

"I have outdoor training this morning, and patrol duty this evening," Cloud whispered back.

"Will you come back after training?"

"Yeah."

The next few minutes passed in silence while they peacefully lay there revelling in each other's warmth, neither one of them wanting to leave their positions. But time was ticking away, and Cloud eventually had to pull himself away.

"I need to go," he whispered. Zack lifted his head off the pillow, and stared at him pleadingly.

"Kiss me first." Cloud leaned back in and calmly, leisurely, pressed his lips up against Zack's. One kiss turned into several slow, passionate kisses, and once again Cloud had to remind himself that he was needed elsewhere. He unwillingly parted from the contact and gave Zack an apologetic smile. The SOLDIER nodded, and watched as the cadet grabbed his clothes off the floor and headed for the bathroom to get changed.

The infantryman returned to the bedroom after getting back into his uniform, but Zack had fallen asleep once again. Cloud folded Zack's pyjamas that he had borrowed and lay them on the end of the bed so they would be seen when Zack woke up. He took one last longing glance at his partner before heading for the infantry floor.

* * *

><p>Cloud closed the door to his room—he had still made it back in time, despite Zack making him stay later—and was nothing short of shocked to see Luxiere sitting on his bed. The man stared up at Cloud, as if waiting for an explanation.<p>

"You're back," Cloud said, trying to act normally.

"Back since yesterday. I thought you were supposed to be, too. Where've you been?" he asked.

"Oh, you know. Around," Cloud answered. Even _he_ knew he was terrible at lying.

"But you were away all night." Cloud's heart was pounding as he spoke, feeling like Luxiere could read his thoughts.

"I-I was with a friend, and I kind of fell asleep."

"Are you okay?" Luxiere asked, noticing how red Cloud was getting.

"Yeah, fine. I'm just tired." Luxiere wasn't convinced. It was pretty obvious that his friend didn't want him to know something.

"So, who is this friend? Did you meet someone while I was away?"

Just then, they heard the sound of the whistle, signalling all the infantrymen to line up in the hallway. Cloud had never been so pleased to hear that sound. He immediately threw open the door and joined the lineup. Luxiere followed Cloud, but was unimpressed by the way he had dismissed his question so quickly. He couldn't help but feel it was deliberate.

The squad leader commanded the men to follow, and they proceeded after him, heading outside to the obstacle courses. Cloud looked back and caught Luxiere's critical stare. He would have to come up with a good lie if he wanted to keep his business with Zack a private matter, and still stay on his friend's good side.

* * *

><p>Zack had already showered and eaten breakfast when his phone rang that morning. He answered to hear Tseng on the other end.<p>

"I have some news that I think will make you happy," the Turk said, as monotonously as ever.

"Oh? What's that?" the SOLDIER asked, slumping down in his kitchen chair as he listened.

"I spoke to Heidegger who is charge of the Public Safety Department. He's taken over for Director Lazard since his absence, and he is willing to grant you permission to return to your normal duties."

"Really?" Zack asked, perking up.

"Yes. He wants you to report to his office as soon as possible so he can brief you on your next mission."

"Thanks, Tseng." He heard the Turk chuckle slightly through the phone, then hang up. It didn't matter whether Tseng had planned to say anything more or not; Zack closed his phone, and didn't waste any time in getting over to the door and pulling his boots on. He smiled. Things were finally looking up.

* * *

><p>Heidegger sat in a large chair at his desk, and seemed to scrutinize Zack as he entered. He motioned for the SOLDIER to sit across from him, and so Zack did.<p>

"1st class Fair, you want to be given a mission?" Heidegger asked.

"That's what I'm hoping for, Sir," Zack answered, taking in the rather plump man in front of him. He had never actually seen Heidegger in person; he had only heard about him. Zack didn't like to make quick judgements, but from what he could tell from the man's tone, and the way he held himself so arrogantly, he figured this man was much harder to deal with than Lazard had been.

"Well, you may just be in luck, Mr. Fair. The people in Fort Condor have requested help to dispose of some monsters. Are you interested?" The man looked Zack over, as if trying to decide whether or not he could handle it. Zack had no idea why, however, because he had gone on way more difficult missions than this, and had travelled further than Fort Condor without any problems. Perhaps Heidegger just hadn't spent a lot of time dealing with SOLDIER, and therefore hadn't gained much confidence in them.

"I'm interested. When do I leave?" Zack asked, putting his hands behind his head and resting them there. He didn't care what the mission entailed, he just needed to get out.

"Tomorrow. I suggest you make your preparations as soon as possible."

"Right."

Heidegger continued to give Zack a few more instructions pertaining to the mission, talking about which path was best to get to his destination, and what to do when he got there. Zack then nodded a goodbye to Heidegger, and left the office, but could feel the man's gaze lingering on him as he left.

* * *

><p>"Keep moving!" Cloud tried to pick up his pace when he heard the command. He lifted his legs up higher as he travelled through the tires, stepping in the holes of each one, but his week-long mission was still taking its toll on him. He was still weak from exhaustion and the searing pain in his shoulders seemed to be spreading to other parts of his body as well. Before he could get another thought through his head, he dropped to his knees after tripping over one of the tires.<p>

"Get up, Strife!" his commander hollered. Cloud picked himself up as quickly as he could. He wasn't normally good at obstacle courses, being the newest and smallest recruit. Today, however, was worse because of the strain that was already on his body. He started running again, being extra cautious of where he was stepping, but he fell behind—to the back of the line, in fact.

"Hurry it up!" Adrenaline began coursing faster through Cloud's body when the order met his ears. He tried yet again to raise his heavy legs up higher to facilitate weaving through the tires, but discomfort shot down his spine as he did, causing him to cry out as he fell down against the rubber obstacles.

"Strife, give it up! Hit the showers!" Cloud felt the colour drain from his face in shame. Never had he been dismissed from training because of incompetence, and he doubted the other men would ever forget it.

Luxiere watched as Cloud gathered himself up off the ground, and walked away from the field, hanging his head low. They would have to talk later. Luxiere didn't like this sudden distance between them, and seeing Cloud so out of sorts was bothering him. Being one of Cloud's only friends, he felt it was his responsibility to help him, even if it meant finding his information from sources other than Cloud himself.

* * *

><p>Zack was surprised to hear a knock on his door; it was too early for Cloud to be back from training, and he didn't know who else would want to speak with him urgently enough to come to his door rather than call him on the phone. When Zack opened up, however, it <em>was<em> the blond who was standing there in the hallway, looking very distraught.

"You're early. Are you okay?" Zack asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Cloud could hear the concern in his voice.

"Just a rough session," Cloud answered, keeping his eyes lowered.

"Come on in." Cloud let Zack gently pull him inside and heard the door close behind him. Cloud turned around to face Zack and felt a hand at the side of his face.

"What can I do to help? Tell me anything," Zack whispered. He stroked Cloud's cheek and Cloud settled in against him, allowing the SOLDIER to continue his caress.

"I kind of wanted to ask a favour," Cloud said, somewhat uneasily.

"Okay?"

"I'm really sore from that mission, and I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer from yesterday."

"Which one?"

"The one where you offered me a bath," the infantryman told him, averting his gaze.

"Hey, no problem. I'll go draw the water right now, alright? You'll feel better in no time."

The hand on Cloud's cheek travelled to the back of his neck, and the boy gazed up at the SOLDIER expectantly. Zack closed the distance between them and placed a tender kiss on the cadet's lips. Cloud smiled up at his partner after they parted, and Zack brushed a thumb across Cloud's cheek once more.

"Be back in a minute."

* * *

><p>Zack drew the water for Cloud's bath while Cloud waited patiently on the couch. Cloud smiled as he listened to Zack hum some little melody along to the sound of the running water. Zack really was sweet; Cloud was realizing that. He'd always known he was kind, but had never known how thoughtful he was. Cloud doubted even his mother would get his bath ready for him when he wasn't feeling well, at least now that he was old enough to do it himself. Zack came out of the bathroom, but Cloud could still hear the water running.<p>

"How are you holding up?" Zack asked.

"I'm okay," Cloud answered. Zack sat down on the couch beside him.

"Would another kiss make it better?" Cloud nodded, smiling, and Zack leaned in and lips met lips hungrily. Cloud was ready for whatever was to come this time, and he kissed back with more skill than before when Zack's tongue found its way to his. The kisses became more and more needy, on Zack's part especially as he moved his lips over to the side of Cloud's neck. The boy gave a weak whimper as Zack placed kisses and light love bites over the skin as he once again removed Cloud's scarf.

"You okay this time?"

"Yeah."

Cloud had never felt this way before. He had been too shocked the night before to really absorb how it all felt, but now everything seemed okay. His body felt light, and his breathing was quick and unsteady, but it felt good, and all he wanted was more of Zack. Cloud silently hoped Zack would always be the only one to make him feel this way. In that moment, he felt like he might have understood love a little bit more. It was something that didn't involve anyone else, something that stayed between only them. He was elated to think that he and Zack were sharing something that no one else could make happen for them.

Cloud craned his neck to expose some more skin for Zack to taste, and he was suddenly and unwillingly brought back to the world outside of his and Zack's pleasure.

"Zack, the bath. You left the water running," Cloud said, in between quick breaths.

"Oh, right!" Zack reluctantly pulled away from Cloud and the temptation to relish him any further, and went to turn off the taps. Luckily he got there before there was an overflow.

"All ready!" Zack called out, laughing at the ridiculously full bathtub.

* * *

><p>Cloud sat down in the tub and let out an exhausted exhale as he felt his over-worked muscles start to relax. He was more than grateful that Zack let him use his bathroom. Being an infantryman, he only had access to the showers, and they weren't going to help his muscles in the state they were in. A bath was what he really needed, even if he wasn't totally comfortable being this exposed in Zack's living quarters, especially after what had happened the night before. Cloud was aware, however, that a week away from Zack was a long time, and so he no longer any regrets about letting himself get carried away with him after his return.<p>

Cloud closed his eyes and cleared his mind of everything but the warm water that was soothing his body. After a few minutes of silence, and what Cloud considered pure luxury, he was interrupted.

"Can I come in?" Zack's voice came from outside the door.

Cloud's breath seemed to momentarily get stuck in his lungs. As comfortable as he was now with Zack, he wasn't ready for Zack to see him naked like that. After all, the night before had been the first time Zack had actually touched him sensually. Thinking quickly, he looked at the shelf beside him and grabbed a bottle of liquid soap and poured almost all of its contents into the tub.

"Okay," Cloud answered as he swished the water around with his hand, causing bubbles to form and cover him up, or the bottom half of him at least. He knew it was childish, but he felt safer that way.

Zack opened the bathroom door and froze when his eyes found their way to Cloud—Cloud who wasn't wearing a shirt. It was the first time he had seen Cloud without clothing, and he couldn't deny that he was pleased by what he saw. Cloud lowered his head awkwardly when he realized Zack was staring at him. The change in the colour of the blond's cheeks was enough to wake Zack up from whatever fantasy he was stuck in.

"I just wanted to bring you a towel. I forgot to leave a fresh one in here for you," Zack said, putting a fuzzy green towel on the counter and briefly picturing how cute Cloud would look in it.

"Thanks," Cloud said, staring down at the water, trying to get his temperature back down. It didn't work, however, because Zack didn't leave.

"Hey, Cloud... Can I join you?" Zack knew it was risky to ask, but he really wanted to gain Cloud's trust, and he figured the only way to do that was to see how Cloud would react as they proceeded further with each other, and to prove that he _could_ be patient.

"What?" Cloud felt his face heat up even more. Now that Zack had succeeded in getting the redness into his cheeks, there was no stopping it.

"Can I get in there with you?" Zack asked again. His voice was serious.

"Zack, I-I really like you, but I don't think I'm ready for this," Cloud answered. His heart started racing. He wasn't sure if he could handle so much at once; first the incident on the sofa, now this.

"Yeah. I can understand that. But I wouldn't do anything without making sure you were okay with it." Cloud nodded, feeling completely embarrassed, but he said nothing.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have asked." Zack turned and went to leave. Cloud watched him, and his heart raced harder, faster. Part of him was terrified. He was only sixteen, Zack was his first love, and things were going faster than he'd expected. But another part of him wanted Zack to join him, to see him as something other than a frightened little boy. Part of him really wanted to have Zack that close to him, and he was afraid the opportunity may not come up again if he passed it up now.

Zack had just finished closing the door behind him when he heard Cloud's voice.

"H-hey, Zack?" Zack couldn't help but feel his hopes get revived as he opened the door again and poked his head into the bathroom.

"Yeah, Sunshine?" he asked.

"Okay." Cloud stared at his feet as he spoke.

"'Okay', what?" Zack asked, figuring he knew what Cloud meant, but wanting to hear those exact words.

"'Okay', you can get in."

"Really?"

"Y-yeah."

"I really don't want to if you're uncomfortable. Don't feel like we have to," Zack went on, his words stringing out in an unexpected nervousness.

"It's fine, Zack," Cloud answered, almost sternly. Zack took this as a sign that he didn't want to be treated like a child about the whole thing.

"B-but, Zack?" Cloud said, nervously, as Zack put a hand at the bottom of his shirt, ready to remove it. Zack stopped and looked at the blond. "You're not going to do anything to make me... dirty this water, are you?" He was embarrassed to have to ask.

Zack did his best to hide a smirk, then let out a laugh. He knew Cloud hadn't meant it to be funny, but he was just so damn cute when he was embarrassed. Zack quickly regained his composure. He wanted to make the experience as comfortable as possible as he could for Cloud, and he wanted Cloud to know that.

"No. I won't. You know what, you don't even have to look at me while I get in there if you don't want to. Would that take some of the stress away?" Cloud nodded and smiled shyly up at Zack. Then he turned his head away from him and closed his eyes. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart and the sound of Zack's clothing softly dropping to the floor. If Zack couldn't hear his heart right then, Cloud figured he would definitely hear it when he got close to him.

Cloud felt his face redden again at the sound of Zack's pants being unzipped. Moments after Zack's last piece of clothing fell, Cloud felt the water being disturbed and heard Zack sit down behind him. Cloud opened his eyes. Zack's legs were on either side of him, and Cloud was afraid to lean back for fear of touching Zack where he might not like to be touched... or rather, maybe he _would_. Cloud thought his face might catch fire from the mere idea.

"Just relax," Zack whispered in Cloud's ear. Cloud swallowed and wished Zack's words hadn't sounded so sexual, but reassured himself that Zack wasn't going to try anything. Cloud took in a deep breath, and let it out. He felt Zack's hands on his tense shoulders.

"Is this okay?" Zack asked.

"Yeah," came Cloud's response. Zack began rubbing Cloud's shoulders, pressing his fingers in and kneading out the knots. It took several minutes, but Cloud felt himself loosening up, not only his muscles, but his state of mind. He closed his eyes again and focused on nothing but Zack's touch. It felt good, and Cloud couldn't deny it.

Zack continually whispered soft, comforting words as he massaged Cloud's stiff shoulders. In one way, he wanted to proceed further, but in another, he wanted to save it for another time when Cloud was ready and more at ease with him. And despite his strong urges, Zack made sure his hands_ and eyes_ stayed only on the boy's back. He had to prove that he could control himself, and that he could be trusted.

"I'm going to let you enjoy the rest of your bath by yourself, okay?" Zack said, moving his head to the side so he could see Cloud's face. Cloud glanced back at him, looking almost lonesome for him before he'd even left.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm gonna make something for us to eat, alright?"

"A-alright." Zack gave Cloud a quick peck on the cheek before getting out of the tub and drying himself off, while Cloud timidly looked the other way. Then he wrapped his towel around his waist, grabbed his clothes off the floor, and headed into his bedroom to get dressed before preparing lunch for him and his partner.

* * *

><p>Luxiere walked into the cafeteria at lunch after finding his room empty once again. He sat down with a group of other infantrymen after getting himself some food, and they greeted him eagerly. Luxiere was disappointed, not to mention worried, to not see Cloud <em>here<em> either. Sure, Cloud wasn't a big eater, but he didn't normally skip meals.

"How was the mission, Lux?" a man named Kalen asked, taking a bite of his burger.

"Long, but good. We took a helicopter to Bone Village to supervise an excavation. They've been having trouble with monsters. Needed some men to make sure no trouble-makers showed up," Luxiere answered.

"I wish I could get out of here for a while. I'd love a good mission," another cadet said. A couple of the men agreed, then went back to eating.

Luxiere broke the silence again after a few minutes. It had been his plan all along to get some information, and these guys had been around the past few days seeing all the things that he had missed.

"You know my pal Cloud, right?" A few of the men nodded.

"Haven't seen him much since I got back. Has he been around?" Luxiere asked.

"Yeah, he was at the staff party," Kalen said. Luxiere was shocked. Parties and Cloud just didn't mix; his friend had made that quite clear on more than one occasion.

"Oh, yeah? Was he alone?"

"No, no. He was with a couple of SOLDIERs. A third and first."

"Zack Fair, I think," another added. Luxiere was amazed that Cloud would go to such a social event, even if it was with Zack. He knew the boy was fond of him, but maybe he hadn't realized just how fond of him he was. Maybe his earlier suspicions had been right.

"Been seeing a lot of those two together, actually. You know, after training and stuff," an infantryman named Sam spoke up.

"Pretty damn lucky, that Cloud is. Being friends with Zack means he's got a better chance at getting into SOLDIER than the rest of us. He's got an advantage," Kalen said.

Luxiere stayed quiet after that, and ate his burger. Cloud hadn't said a thing to him about the party and maybe it was because of Zack. He was almost positive there was something more going on between them than his roommate was letting on.

* * *

><p>When Zack and Cloud finished eating, they sat down to watch TV and Cloud resumed his position from the night before, with his head in Zack's lap. Zack began brushing his hand through Cloud's hair as they sat.<p>

"So, we have training together tomorrow, right?" Cloud asked.

"Actually, not anymore. I'm back into the mission business," Zack said. Cloud sat up quickly, startling his friend.

"Really? I mean, am I still gonna see you?" Cloud asked, hurriedly.

"Of course, you will. They're not going to work me to death. I'll be around."

"You'll be okay, right?" The worry in Cloud's voice surprised Zack. He wasn't used to the boy—or anyone, for that matter—being so concerned for him. He didn't particularly like that Cloud was apprehensive about his departure, but it was comforting to know that he cared.

"I'll be fine. I've been on tons of missions." Cloud didn't look any more at ease, so Zack continued speaking.

"What is it, sweetie?" Zack stroked Cloud's face as he spoke. The blond was embarrassed at how much the thought of Zack going away was bothering him, but who could blame him for not wanting to be alone?

"I'll miss you when you're away." Now Zack couldn't help but pull the boy into his arms and hold him there, a gentle hand at the back of his neck to keep him close against him.

"Hey, I didn't give _you_ a hard time when _you_ went on a mission," Zack teased.

"I-I'm not giving you a hard time," Cloud defended himself, then realized Zack was joking.

"Did you really enjoy the bath that much that you don't want me to leave?"

"Zaaack," Cloud whined. Zack laughed.

In actuality, Cloud _had_ enjoyed the bath. He overall felt better, physically and mentally. Zack had proven his control, and Cloud had proven to himself that he could be calm when things proceeded. There was a definite trust forming, and Cloud didn't want any time apart to jeopardize that. But the real reason Cloud didn't want Zack to leave was, well, he loved him; he just didn't realize that yet.

"Don't worry. I'll be back in a few days. I'm headed for Fort Condor which is on this continent. It won't take me long," Zack said. He felt Cloud nod against him as he continued to hold him. Zack knew he couldn't do anything more to comfort him. They were both realizing that the more they were together, the harder it was to be apart.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey there! I'm just gonna mention that Heidegger is from FFVII, but isn't seen in Crisis Core. It's not really important, but I just thought those who aren't familiar with him might be interested to know. Also, I know Cloud seems like kind of a wimp at times, but I hope he's not too annoying or pathetic. I was watching my cousin play FFVII recently, and I was reminded of how hard his life was before he went to Shinra. I think that's why I have him being so insecure at times. I didn't play FFVII for a while so I kind of forgot, but the game really set it up so that his life sucked back in Nibelheim. Poor Cloud. You should check out some cutscenes or something on YouTube just to get a feeling for his life back then, for those of you who are interested. Look for the part where Tifa patches up his memories. That's a particularly good one.

Anyway, that's a lot of info for one author's note. Don't forget to check back on week-ends for updates. And thanks, as always, to everyone who's supporting this story in some way! Keep the reviews coming, guys. I love them!


	10. Chapter 10

Cloud had gotten back to his room at a decent time the night before, so Luxiere wouldn't be too suspicious. It was hard to say goodbye to Zack, but Zack had reassured him that when he got back, there would be plenty of hugs and kisses to be had. And so, they had kissed once more and Cloud had left, anxiously awaiting the next time they would be together. As for Zack, he felt torn. He by no means wanted to leave Cloud, but at the same time, he wanted to go out on this mission. He remembered what his mother had always told him; 'time apart makes a heart grow fonder'... or something like that. Looking at it that way, leaving didn't seem so bad.

* * *

><p>"So, how was the party?" Luxiere asked when they woke up that morning. Cloud rolled over in his bed to look at his friend.<p>

"What party?"

"The staff appreciation party. I heard you went."

"O-oh, yeah, I went. It was... fun," Cloud said, awkwardly. He had a feeling that this conversation was not going in a direction that he liked.

"You went with Zack, huh?" Luxiere asked, trying to read Cloud's expressions as he spoke. At the name 'Zack', Cloud had become very still.

"And his friend, Kunsel," Cloud added quickly, slipping into his nervous habit of getting the wrinkles out of whatever material was nearby. This time, it was the bedsheets.

"So, the other night when you weren't here, were you with Zack?"

"No, I was with Tifa. M-my friend from Nibelheim." Cloud managed to keep his voice fairly steady as he spoke, but he instantly regretted his choice of excuses. Tifa was miles away. Thanks to that, he had to continue his explanation.

"Nibelheim?" Luxiere asked, a bit incredulous. It wasn't like Cloud to lie, but if he had something to hide, maybe he felt more inclined to do so.

"Yeah, she was travelling to Midgar with her father, and arranged to meet me. I went to the inn with her and her father, and I fell asleep there. I-I didn't want to tell you before because I was embarrassed. I used to have a crush on her," Cloud said.

He was glad that at least the_ whole _story hadn't been a lie. He _had_ liked Tifa when he was young—that part was true—but not in the way he liked Zack. He realized how different that feeling was from what he'd felt for his childhood friend.

"I see. So, you thought I'd make fun of you?" Luxiere asked.

"Something like that." Luxiere stared at Cloud for a few moments, as if trying to read his mind, then he turned onto his back and stared at the bunk above him.

"You know, Cloud, I wouldn't make fun of you. And I wouldn't make fun of what you're still hiding from me."

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked.

He wished so desperately for an escape. If Luxiere found out, he would be totally humiliated. It wasn't that he was afraid Luxiere would make a big deal of it, he was afraid it would change how Luxiere thought of him.

"You and Zack... There's something going on, isn't there?" Luxiere turned his head to look at Cloud again. Cloud stared at Luxiere in shock for a moment, then twisted his expression into a playful smile, but it was difficult to maintain.

"'Going on'? What do you mean? We're friends."

"Yeah, but I was starting to think you two were togeth—"

"It's not like that at all," Cloud said, getting defensive, even though he wished he hadn't.

"Okay, I know it's not my business, and that's fine if you're not. I just want you to know that it wouldn't bother me if there _was _something going on," Luxiere said, hoping his friend wouldn't have an outburst. Much to his relief, Cloud became silent then, and lowered his eyes.

"Thanks," the blond whispered.

"It's what friends are for."

In a way, Cloud wondered why he didn't just tell Luxiere the truth. Sure, it might be hard at first, but Cloud knew he would feel better if he did. And as far as he could tell, Luxiere was more than willing to accept his relationship with Zack. Yet, he still couldn't bring himself to admit the truth.

"But seriously, Zack's nothing more than a good friend." Cloud smiled, and Luxiere returned it with a nod.

Cloud was a little on the defensive side, and Luxiere couldn't help but feel his claim wasn't true, even though he wanted to believe him. In the end, what did it matter, anyway? He only wanted to know the truth to relieve the tension between them. The feeling of distrust and unease was hard to live with, and he only wanted to make life easier for both of them.

The whistle sounded then, and the two got up immediately to get in line for yet another morning of training.

"Cloud," Luxiere whispered, as he followed in line behind his friend.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for prying."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean any harm by it," Cloud whispered back, and he truly believed it. His friend was probably just looking out for him, and with Zack away, Cloud was grateful to have someone by his side.

* * *

><p>Zack stared out the door of the helicopter as they approached Junon, the place where they would be landing. The flight had bored him, even though it wasn't a long one. He wouldn't have minded travelling to Fort Condor completely on foot if it weren't for the mountains between it and Midgar. To get there, he would have to go through the Mythril Mines, and Shinra didn't want his mission to take that long. So, Zack endured the helicopter ride to Junon, and from there he would continue on foot.<p>

Zack hardly even noticed that Cissnei was in the cockpit with him. Normally, she would have spoken to him, but he looked so deep in thought that she decided against it. All Zack could think of as he passed over the hilly terrain was his dear Cloud. He thought about the new steps they had taken together, and hoped he hadn't been too pushy with him. From what he could tell, though, Cloud hadn't minded their newest experiences together. Zack couldn't have been more pleased. He wanted Cloud to trust him, to let him get even closer to him. He wanted to know him better than he did now. And since he had told Cloud the three words that had seemed to mean so much to him, he had begun longing for those words to be returned back to him.

Zack didn't know why he felt this way, why he wanted so desperately to hear Cloud's voice say those three words to him. But he knew that when it happened, it would be because Cloud was ready to say them, and more importantly, because he would mean every one of them. Zack broke out of his thoughts as the helicopter landed. He grabbed his oversized sword and his bag of healing items and stepped out onto the landing platform.

"Call us when you get back here, Zack. It shouldn't take too long. Four days at the most is what they told me," Cissnei said to him. The other redheaded Turk, Reno, was piloting, and he smirked as he watched Cissnei 'flirt' with Zack. Reno was good at his job, which was basically being a spy, and so it was quite obvious to him that Cissnei was interested in Zack, and that Zack had absolutely no interest in her.

"Yeah, it'll be no problem," Zack said, putting his hands on his hips. Cissnei covered her mouth as she quietly giggled.

"Don't get too cocky, Slick. You haven't been on the job for a while," Reno teased.

"All the more energy I have to burn," Zack grinned. He backed up and watched as the helicopter rose into the air and turned in the direction of Midgar once again. Zack adjusted his sword on his back, then headed down into the village of Junon where he could then proceed toward Fort Condor.

* * *

><p>The voyage wasn't too difficult, especially since Zack was running high on adrenaline. The small battles he was getting into on the way were more fun than challenging, and he loved the feel of the fresh air and open fields. He'd been cooped up in the Shinra building for so long, and these real fights—just as he'd expected—were exactly what he needed to burn off some steam.<p>

Zack had made it more than halfway to his destination when the sun set that evening. He wouldn't have far to travel in the morning. The journey to Fort Condor took less than a day and a half, so he would spend about three days travelling, one day at his destination, and he would be back in Junon by the night of the fourth day if everything went as planned.

Zack found a spot that was in between the bases of two mountains, out of plain view. For a one-night campsite, he could have called it almost cozy. He took off his armour and sword, and lay down with his back against the grass, breathing deeply. His least favourite part of long missions was camping out overnight without a tent, but even that didn't bother him too much tonight due to his excitement about just being outside. He made sure his sword was near enough to him that he could grab it in case of emergency, then closed his eyes and fell into a much needed sleep.

* * *

><p>Zack was in Fort Condor by noon the next day. He had met with the village leader and had gotten the scoop on what his job was. Monsters had been flying in from above recently—that was pretty much the only way any monster could get in since the main entrance was more or less underground—and Zack was there to dispose of them. Zack thought of the place like a series of tunnels flipped on its side. There were holes with ladders which led to the levels above.<p>

Zack's room was on the first floor, but he needed to climb to the second floor, then descend through another hole to get to it. Despite the minor hassle, Zack was happy to have a real bed to sleep in during his stay. He quickly got his stuff settled away in his room, and was led up to the top level of the fort. Then he headed outside to get to work.

* * *

><p>Cloud felt better about training that day. The worst of his pain and exhaustion was over, and he was able to really focus on doing what was required of him. He had performed the obstacles without any major problems, and his mood only improved when he sat down in the cafeteria at lunch because he realized that he was a day and a half closer to having Zack return to him.<p>

Luxiere sat across from Cloud as they ate, and he was well aware that his friend was happier than usual as he gazed around the cafeteria with a smile on his face.

"You did well today," Luxiere said, breaking the silence that was surrounding them. Cloud moved his eyes over to meet Luxiere's.

"Thanks," Cloud answered. He took a bite of his bologna sandwich, and continued to look around him.

"What's up with you? You actually seem kind of _cheerful_," Luxiere smirked.

"Am I allowed to be?"

"Of course. It's just odd for you. Especially on a day when you're eating a bologna sandwich." Cloud frowned.

Had he really been that unpleasant before he had gotten involved with Zack? He didn't think he had been, but Luxiere could obviously sense a change in his behaviour. Perhaps Zack had more of an impact on his well-being than he realized. Just the thought of Zack brought a smile back to his face, and he looked up at his friend again.

"I think it's because I'm feeling a lot better since the other day. I was really tired from that mission, but now that I've recovered—"

"You're as happy as a clam," Luxiere said. Then they both laughed, mostly because the saying didn't make a lot of sense to either of them.

They finished their lunches, mostly in silence, then Cloud emptied his tray and faced his friend.

"I need to run into town for a bit this afternoon since we're off," he said.

"Okay, do you want me to come with you?"

In all honestly, Cloud would have liked for Luxiere to tag along, but since he was picking up a present for Zack, he would rather not have to answer the questions that would go along with that. He'd only told his friend where he was going so he wouldn't worry about him.

"That's alright. It won't take me long. I just have to grab something quick," Cloud answered.

The other infantryman could tell his friend was being a bit evasive, like he didn't want to tell him what his outing entailed. The thought briefly crossed his mind that Cloud might be going out to buy protection, but he quickly rid his brain of the idea. That was Cloud's business, not his.

"You take care then, kid," Luxiere smiled from under his helmet.

"Yeah, I'll be back soon." With that, Cloud headed out towards his destination.

* * *

><p>It took Zack a day longer than he'd originally expected to finish his job in Fort Condor. He'd fought off an unimaginable number of flying enemies—mostly Ark Dragons—in the two days he was there, and they wouldn't stop coming in. They weren't difficult to defeat, there just seemed to be no end to them. That's when he figured out he needed some kind of warning sign for incoming fliers.<p>

Zack prepared himself, his sword at the ready, and killed one last Ark Dragon. Then, despite the vulgarity of it, he stuck it on a stake right in front of the Mako Reactor, and piled the other corpses around it. He knew from experience that this kind of creature stayed away from the smell of death. Zack called for a hand, and some of the residents ran out and set fire to the corpses, sending the fumes of the dragons' demise out into the atmosphere as a deterrent to all approaching enemies. Problem solved.

* * *

><p>Zack made it back to his campsite between the mountains by the night of the fourth day. He was disappointed to be running behind schedule. That only meant more time away from Cloud, and he figured the blond would be worrying about him by now. He dropped his sword, his bag of items, and his pouch of gil that he had collected after completing his mission, and lay down on the ground beside them. He decided to look on the bright side. By this time the next night, he would be home, hopefully sharing a beautiful moment with Cloud.<p>

It was early the next morning when Zack awoke, certain that he'd heard something that had brought him into an alert state. He slowly, carefully reached for his sword, being sure not to make any noise, then he got up quickly, glancing around for an attacker. He saw nothing, and took a few steps forward, and what looked like an infantryman peeked out from behind the mountain to his left. Zack readied his sword just in case, and two other infantrymen followed the other until they were in Zack's line of vision. Then they began firing.

It only took Zack a second to react, and he began deflecting the bullets with his sword. He didn't bother at that moment to wonder _why_ they were attacking; all he was worried about was defending himself. He managed to deflect most of the bullets, getting his arm grazed only twice, and then it seemed as if the attackers had run out of bullets.

Two of the men retreated behind the mountain, and Zack charged at the remaining one who had started replacing his ammunition. He had nearly reached him when he realized the man had been faster than he'd anticipated; he had his gun reloaded and was prepared to fire. There was no time for Zack to get his sword up to protect himself, and he gasped in anguish as a bullet entered the left side of his chest. Zack tried to catch his breath, but the pain was stifling.

He attempted to lift his sword, but his left arm felt heavy. He could already tell that he hadn't been hit by an ordinary bullet; he had been poisoned. He could feel it pulsing through his chest and arm, stinging as it travelled. His sword fell to the ground as he clutched the spot where the bullet had penetrated with his good arm. Zack's face was twisted in discomfort, and he realized as he looked up that the cadet was aiming to shoot again. Zack had a moment of panic, not knowing how he could possibly dodge the next attack. His weapon was on the ground, he was defenseless. He winced as another bullet entered his body, just to the right of the first one, and he failed to hold back a cry.

Zack knew then that he had only one choice if he wanted to survive; he had to fake his death. He immediately dropped to his knees and fell over onto his side, his hands grasping his chest. He let out a few whimpers, but tried to suppress them as best he could. Then he closed his eyes and waited.

It took several seconds, but he eventually heard movement-the sound of the men retreating. When he felt it was safe, he opened his eyes and glanced down at his bleeding chest. The poison was spreading fast, faster than he had ever experienced before. Both of his arms were now numb with pain, and his chest was throbbing.

He didn't want to know the reason why Shinra cadets were attacking him. It was too much for him to even think about at the moment. He could feel his mind shutting down, though he tried desperately to keep himself from falling into darkness. He could only muster one last thought. _Cloud, honey, I love you. I'm sorry... I couldn't make it home._

* * *

><p>"Zack was supposed to make it back last night," Kunsel said to one of the other guys in the cafeteria line that morning. Cloud's ears were finely tuned to the name 'Zack' and he leaned forward to try to listen to the conversation going on a few people away from him.<p>

"I heard that. You think he's okay?" a 3rd asked.

"Zack? Yeah, sure. He's no rookie. He's probably just running late," Kunsel answered, sounding quite sure of himself.

Cloud was disappointed. He had been planning to go see Zack after he had breakfast, but now he had a knot in his stomach to hear that Zack wasn't there. As of right now, Zack wasn't even a full day late, and so Cloud shouldn't have been concerned, but he was. He couldn't even bring himself to think of Zack getting hurt. There were too many _what-ifs_ to even begin worrying about. He felt a hand on his shoulder a second later, and looked back to see Luxiere.

"He's gonna be okay," his friend reassured him. Cloud forced a smile and nodded, feeling the slightest bit better because he knew he wasn't alone. Still, the building seemed empty without Zack, and Cloud wouldn't be able to shake this feeling until he was safe in his arms again.

* * *

><p>When Zack came to, he was in unfamiliar surroundings. He was lying in a bed. Coral-coloured rock was all around him. It took him a minute to realize he was in a cave. Zack raised his head up, and pain shot through his chest, though it seemed to have dulled. An old man was hunched over on the floor, mulling over something glowing, something that Zack assumed was materia.<p>

"Did you... save me?" Zack asked, finding that talking was somewhat difficult due to his discomfort. The man turned around, and nodded.

"Yes, I did. Hold still," he ordered, and picked up a green materia off the floor. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed the cure materia on Zack's wounds, holding it there. It felt cold, and sort of refreshing. When the man finished healing him, Zack tried to move again, and realized his wounds were much less sore. The poison, however, was still affecting him; he could feel that it had spread further now.

"What happened?" the man asked, as he dabbed at Zack's bloodied uniform with a cloth.

"They... they were dressed like... Shinra troops," Zack told him. "They attacked me."

"But _you're_ with Shinra?"

"Yeah." The man mused over that for a moment, then gave a hum.

"I removed these," the man said, holding out two fine bullets in his gloved hand.

"You got them out?" Zack asked.

"Yes. Good thing I tended to you when I did. More toxin would have been released otherwise."

"Thanks for... your help," Zack breathed. He realized now what a miracle his being alive truly was. If much more of that poison had entered him, he might not have been so lucky.

"You should have a professional take a look at you," the man said after he had finished cleaning Zack's wounds and dressing them.

"_If_ I can get back." Zack stared up at the rock above him, feeling defeated. Just the thought of walking back to Junon felt like an impossibility. He was too weak, too uncomfortable.

"You will. Rest a day or two, but no longer. It's dangerous to let the poison spread for too long." Zack nodded, then realized that the man was obviously done talking, as he had already started out of the cave. He turned around abruptly when he heard Zack try to move.

"Rest," was all he said before departing through the mouth of the cave.

Zack managed to sit himself up and saw that his sword and all his belongings that he'd had with him were safely stored along the back wall of the cave. Relief washed over him when he saw that Angeal's precious sword was safe, and he lay himself gently back down. Now all he wanted was sleep, but he wished desperately that he was home in his own bed with Cloud cuddled up at his side.

* * *

><p>Zack spent two nights in the cave, receiving care from the old man. Because of his enhanced SOLDIER abilities, the bullet wounds themselves had begun to heal well, but the poison was still an issue. He regretted having stayed two nights because now the poison felt like it had infected his entire body. His legs were heavy and stinging with the toxin now, and he knew it would take him a long time to drag his body back to Junon. He had tried to get in touch with someone at Shinra, but there was no reception on his phone in his current location. Just his luck. He felt horribly guilty now for being gone so long. Cloud was probably worried sick by now, and what he wanted more than anything now was to comfort him and let him know he was alright.<p>

It was morning, the seventh day since he had left Shinra. Zack had risen early, getting his bandaged body up out of bed to prepare for the long trek ahead of him. Fortunately, the cave was closer to Junon than his campsite had been, which would cut down on the time and distance he would have to travel. Zack slung his sword over his back—which took more effort than usual—and stuffed his gil pouch and item bag into his pockets. He turned around when he heard the old man clear his throat.

"Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, I will be," Zack answered, even though he was somewhat unsure. He paused for a minute when there was silence, then opened his mouth again.

"Is it safe for me to go back to Shinra?" Zack asked. The man waited a moment before speaking.

"Sometimes we have to do things that scare us because it is the right thing to do. You have to warn them, tell them what you have seen. Besides, you have someone to get back to, do you not?" Zack nodded absently, then blinked in surprise when he realized what the man had said.

"How did you—?" It then occurred to Zack that he had probably mumbled something in his sleep.

"I'm sure Cloud will be glad to see you," the man said, a pleasant gleam in his eye.

"Yeah," Zack said, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Thanks again for everything."

"Good luck," the man answered, giving Zack a nod. Then Zack was off, hoping for a safe journey back to Junon.

* * *

><p>Cloud and Luxiere were on their way back to their room after supper when they once again caught a snippet of a conversation pertaining to Zack. A few 3rd class SOLDIERs were headed for the elevator when Cloud heard Zack's name, and although the elevator was travelling up when the infantrymen were supposed to be heading down, Cloud boarded the elevator after them with Luxiere quickly following behind. Cloud leaned his back casually against the wall of the elevator, listening, but not making eye contact with the SOLDIERs.<p>

"Yeah, due back three days ago, he was," one of them said.

"Such a shame. First Genesis and Angeal. Now Zack," another added.

"Don't they usually wait longer to announce when someone is K.I.A?" the tallest of them asked. Cloud's breath seemed to get stuck in his lungs. _K.I.A... Zack, killed in action?_ Cloud tried to stay silent, to not let a gasp nor a sob escape his mouth until he had heard all they had to say.

"He was only sent on a simple mission to Fort Condor, and he still hasn't gotten back. That can't mean anything good. Besides, Shinra's been tryin' to contact him on his phone, but they haven't gotten through," the first one said.

"Ah, my heart sank when I saw the e-mail. Another SOLDIER dead. Is anyone safe anymore?"

"It happens to the best of us."

The elevator rang when it reached the 3rd class floor, and the three men got off, leaving Cloud and Luxiere alone. Luxiere said nothing—he was afraid to—and simply stared at his friend worriedly, waiting to see what he would do. Luxiere hit the button for their floor, and waited. The elevator hadn't even fully descended when Cloud covered his mouth with his hand and whimpered. Luxiere felt helpless as he watched his friend continued to bury his face in his hands and sob. As soon as the elevator reached the infantrymen's floor, Cloud fled from the elevator and down the hall towards their room. He fumbled with the key through his tear-blurred vision, and Luxiere had to come and unlock the door for him.

Cloud threw himself onto his bed as his friend quietly closed the door behind him. The blond gave a long muffled cry from within the blankets. Luxiere stood with his back against the door, unable to move. His whole body felt cold. Seeing his friend in so much pain made his heart ache. After a few minutes of relentless sobbing, Cloud brought his head up from his bed and stared back at Luxiere through puffy, red eyes.

"I lied... I lied... I _did _love him. I _loved_ him!" Cloud let out a shaky cry, letting his head fall down onto the bed again, shaking uncontrollably as his body wracked with sobs. Luxiere forced himself to move across the room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and began patting Cloud's back, comforting him in the only way he knew how.

"I know..." Luxiere whispered. "I know."

* * *

><p>AN: I am so excited about putting this chapter up! I just want to upload the whole thing now. haha. So, yeah, the plot is picking up now. So cool! By the way, Fort Condor is another one of those FFVII locations that I threw in there. And the old man's cave is actually on the FFVII map. I think I went in there once when I played it. Anyway, yeah, the old man is a hero. haha. I also find it funny that Luxiere is thinking about what Cloud is buying. hahaha... Pervert.

Can't wait to hear what you guys think of this chapter! And I can't wait to keep uploading!


	11. Chapter 11

It took Zack longer than it normally would have to get to Junon, but he managed to make it there by the night of the seventh day. He called for his helicopter, and had never been so happy to see the Turks in his life. Reno and Cissnei lowered the helicopter, and helped him clamber into it. Both were shocked to see him in such a state, and to see him alive at all. They asked what had happened, but Zack had been too exhausted to go into any amount of detail right then, and drifted off to sleep just after they had taken off.

When they arrived back in Midgar, Cissnei grabbed his sword for him, and they watched as Zack tried to lift himself out of the chopper. He attempted to stand, but his legs gave way beneath him.

"Whoa, I've gotcha, Slick," Reno said, catching him before he fell. Normally, Zack would have been opposed to letting the Turks help him, but he was so tired and in so much pain that he didn't have the strength to protest. Reno helped him into the building, and although Zack wasn't totally comfortable with letting Cissnei handle Angeal's priceless heirloom, he allowed her to continue carrying it.

"You should get to the hospital wing, Zack," Cissnei said, once they had made it inside the building.

"Will you put my sword upstairs for me?" Zack asked. Cissnei nodded.

"I'll help you to get to the doctor," Reno said.

"No, I can make it from here. Thanks," Zack insisted. The other male looked slightly offended.

"Alright, yo. If that's what you want," Reno replied. Cissnei headed upstairs while Reno watched Zack head for the elevator, making sure he didn't fall over. When Zack had made it inside the elevator doors, Reno headed to his own room for some shut-eye.

Zack knew it wasn't the smartest idea—his health should have come first—but he needed to see Cloud. The elevator stopped on the infantrymen's floor, and Zack got off, making his way down the hallway as swiftly as he could in his state. The corridor was dark, but he was thankful that there was still a light on in Cloud's room; he could see it from underneath the door. He was glad he wouldn't be waking him up. But, wait, what time was it anyway?

Luxiere heard a quiet knock on the door, and he wondered who the hell would be knocking on their door at two o'clock in the morning. He figured it was probably their group leader telling them to turn the lights out and go to sleep, but there was no way he was going to do that when Cloud was this upset. Luxiere opened the door, and his jaw dropped when he saw the tall, black haired SOLDIER standing in front of him.

"Cloud?" he and Zack said at the same time. The still sobbing blond lifted his head up from the bed, and turned to look towards the door. When his eyes met with the SOLDIER's, there was shock, then more tears, and he shut his eyes tightly as he ran towards him.

"Zack... Zack!" he cried, as he ran into the SOLDIER's arms. Luxiere quietly made his way over to his bed and sat down, giving the other two men a moment of as much privacy as he could.

It hurt to have Cloud squeezing his injured body so tightly, but Zack wouldn't dare tell him to let go. He wrapped an arm around Cloud's waist and tousled his hair with his other hand. He could feel the cadet's body trembling against him.

"I thought you were... They said you... I didn't want to believe it... You're here, you're here..." Cloud uttered so quickly and incoherently that Zack barely understood.

"Sweetie, sweetie, what is it? What's wrong?" Zack asked, gently, pulling away enough so that he could see Cloud's face. His cheeks were red and tear-stained, and Zack hated himself for causing his lover this much panic.

"They... They said you were dead," Cloud said, between sobs. The SOLDIER's eyes widened in shock at his friend's words. He had only been gone a week, and they had announced him dead already? The Turks hadn't even said anything about that. Zack calmed himself once again so he could comfort the shaking cadet.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here," Zack whispered, wiping a tear from Cloud's cheek. The blond let out another whimper before resting his head up against Zack's chest. He quickly pulled away again when Zack made a noise of discomfort. It was then that Cloud noticed the blood on Zack's shirt, and the bandages on his arm.

"You're hurt," Cloud said, sounding panicked again.

"I'm okay, but I should get help as soon as I can. I just needed to see you first," Zack said, stroking the blond's cheek. Zack looked up at Luxiere who was sitting on his bed, staring at him, but not looking at all shocked by the way he was so tenderly treating Cloud. Luxiere nodded at him, and Zack nodded back, understanding that the man knew all there was to know about him and Cloud.

Zack soon broke the embrace against his will as his poisoned limbs started to give out on him.

"Okay, I've got to go," he said. Cloud steadied Zack when he felt that he was a little unstable.

"I'll take you there," Cloud said, quickly wiping the last of his tears away from his face. He slipped an arm around Zack's waist, preparing to help him walk.

"Luxiere, will you cover for me?" Cloud asked. He felt like he would never leave Zack's side again.

"Yeah," Luxiere answered, giving them both a small smile. The blond nodded in thanks.

The SOLDIER took one last glance at the cadet in Cloud's room, and gave him a gentle wave as they left the hallway. Luxiere smiled and waved back, feeling relieved for both of them.

He got up and turned the light off and closed the door. Then he lay back down on his bed, ready for a well-deserved sleep. He didn't figure Cloud would be back for the night, but it didn't matter as long as he was where he wanted to be. His friend was happy, and that was all that mattered right then.

* * *

><p>"So, you were pretty worried, huh?" Zack asked, as they waited for the elevator to take them to the medics' floor. Cloud clung to Zack's arm.<p>

"Of course. You were gone too long," the blond answered, still quivering from his slowly residing fear.

"I'm sorry. Things... didn't go as I'd planned." Zack flinched and shut his eyes tightly as a sudden jolt of pain surged through him. Cloud squeezed his arm.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. The poison stings a bit, that's all."

"Poison?" Cloud asked, alarmed. The elevator doors opened, and they began walking again.

"Don't worry, okay? I'm gonna be fine."

* * *

><p>Cloud wasn't allowed to stay with Zack for the first little while—doctor's orders. This only worried him, but he did his best to sit still in his chair outside Zack's door until they let him in. He didn't hear any cries of pain from his partner, which at least gave him some peace of mind; it made him sick to even think about the horrific sound. But he wouldn't be able to calm down until he was beside him again.<p>

It took about twenty minutes before Cloud was permitted to enter. By this time, the nurses had Zack bandaged up properly, dressed in hospital clothes, and hooked up to an I.V. machine. Cloud sat down in a chair beside Zack's bed, and touched his hand briefly while no one was looking.

"You okay?" Zack asked.

"_Me_? Are _you_ okay?" Cloud asked back. Zack chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm alright. You know, for being stuck in a hospital bed." Cloud smiled slightly at the sound of Zack's laugh, then lowered his eyes.

"I'm okay, too... now that I know you are."

Their eyes met for a moment, and they wanted desperately for their lips to meet as well, but knew this wasn't the place for it. Zack reached for Cloud's hand and held it in his own, despite Cloud's slight embarrassment.

"I'm sorry I made you cry again," the SOLDIER said.

"It doesn't matter. You're safe," Cloud answered.

There was a moment of silence during which Zack held Cloud's bare hand to his face, taking comfort in the contact.

"Are you going to stay the night?" Zack asked.

"I don't want to leave you," the blond said.

A nurse came in just then and Zack let go of Cloud's hand when the blond shyly tried to tug it away.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you're going to have to clear out" the petite woman told Cloud, her blonde hair tucked up in a neat bun. Cloud tore his eyes away from Zack, and turned to the nurse.

"If it's okay, Ma'am, I should really stay with him. I-I was on the mission with Zack, and was ordered to keep an eye on him," Cloud lied, much to Zack's surprise. The woman eyed them both, and Zack only nodded to reinforce Cloud's statement.

"I'm not really supposed to..."

"But my squad leader will be angry if I don't. He said—" Cloud started, but was interrupted.

"Well, if it's an order, I guess it's fine. One night shouldn't hurt. I'll get a cot."

Zack smiled at his partner when the woman had left the room again.

"You lied. I'm impressed," Zack chuckled.

"Why does that impress you?"

"It makes me think you must really care about me." Cloud blushed and averted his gaze, desperately hoping that no one could hear them. The blond couldn't come up with anything to say, and simply let out a short, quiet laugh.

"It's okay to say it, you know," Zack whispered. Cloud glanced up, then hurriedly brought his gaze back down when he saw the SOLDIER's longing expression.

"S-say what?" he asked, even though he knew exactly what the other man was thinking.

"You know. 'I love you'." Zack could see the hesitation on Cloud's face even though the blond wasn't looking directly at him.

"I love you, Cloud. I really do," Zack said, wanting to assure the boy of that.

"Zack, I..." The SOLDIER waited eagerly. "I'm not ready to say it yet," Cloud said, looking uncomfortable.

"Hey, that's okay. No need to get upset," Zack told him, suddenly feeling guilty for pushing him.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's really okay. I'll wait as long as it takes," Zack smiled, and Cloud couldn't help but give a small smile back.

The nurse returned then with a cot for Cloud, then checked the needle in Zack's arm to make sure it was working as effectively as possible. Then she turned towards the blond.

"There's nothing more we can do tonight but let the medicine run its course. Hopefully it will counter-act the poison." She handed Cloud a buzzer, and told him to ring it if Zack needed anything. The lights were turned out then, and the nurse exited the room, leaving the two men alone. They could still make out each other's faces, thanks to the light coming in through the window.

"Does it still hurt?" Cloud asked quietly, once he had gotten situated in his bed.

"It's not too bad. They dosed me up with some stuff to numb the pain," Zack answered, his usual carefree tone back in his voice. Cloud didn't know how Zack could keep a smile on his face even when the worst things happened. It was something he knew he, himself, could never do.

"It's not going to get any worse, is it?" the blond asked.

"No. The doctor said I was out of the danger zone because the bullets were removed quickly, and because of my SOLDIER enhancements. No ordinary human could have lived through it though, especially since one of the bullets was close to my heart. I guess I'm pretty lucky." Zack heard Cloud swallow hard.

"Don't worry, Sunshine. I'm going to be okay."

"I don't know what I'd do if you weren't," Cloud whispered.

He pulled the covers up to his neck, and buried his face in them. Zack could tell the boy was upset.

"Cloud? Come lie here for a minute, will you?" The blond raised his head up and looked at the other man.

"I don't want to mess up the needle."

"You won't. Just come here," Zack insisted. He scooted over to make room for the boy, and smiled when he felt Cloud lie down beside him, though the boy's body was rigid with tension. Both of them were very careful not to disturb Zack's arm as the younger man cuddled in against his partner. Zack rested his chin on top of Cloud's head, and rubbed his back with his good arm, trying to relax him.

"Zack, um, do you mind if I ask... what happened to you?" the infantryman asked. Zack let out a sigh, wondering where he should start. After all, he hardly understood what had happened himself.

"Well, I was camping on my way back from the mission. It was early in the morning when I was attacked. And, I don't understand why... but I think they were Shinra troops. They were dressed just like infantrymen," Zack told him, trying to ignore the confusion and anxiety that was suddenly starting to sink in.

"Shinra? Why would they?"

"I don't know, but I'd say a lot of people are going to want to hear about this. Maybe someone here at Shinra knows something we don't."

"Could it have been Wutai troops?"

"The war with Wutai is over. I doubt they would try something like this so soon," Zack answered.

"Zack... Promise me something," the blond whispered, after a minute of mulling over Zack's words.

"What?"

"Promise you'll always come back to me." Zack pulled Cloud a little closer to him.

"No worries. I always want my missions to end with you. That means I'll always have to come back," the SOLDIER whispered. No sooner had the words come out of his mouth did Cloud's lips press against his. Zack was pleased that Cloud had been courageous enough to initiate the contact. Lips caressed lips tenderly and unhurriedly, feeling their tension and fear falling away as the kiss comforted them both. Zack ran a gentle hand along Cloud's cheek as they parted, causing the blond to smile.

"There. That's what I've been waiting to see. That smile," Zack said, softly, making Cloud's lips curve upwards even more. Cloud sat up and took in Zack's smile as well, memorizing it. Every line, every mark. He wanted to remember it all. He moved back to his own bed after a minute, but Zack held on to his hand and stroked it until both of them had slipped into a peaceful unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>The sound of nurses entering the room woke the blond up the next morning, and he shyly pulled his hand out of Zack's grasp before any of the women noticed. Cloud quickly sat up, realizing that he had probably missed his morning training session. With Zack's arrival the night before, everything else had slipped his mind. There would probably be hell for him to pay later, but he could deal with it. He quickly glanced to his left to make sure the SOLDIER was still sleeping peacefully, then he slipped out of the room, uttering a few quiet greetings to the nurses as he left.<p>

* * *

><p>"How is he?" Luxiere asked, when Cloud met up with him in the cafeteria.<p>

"He's okay," Cloud said, trying to keep his voice low so others wouldn't overhear. After all, he wasn't technically supposed to have this information on Zack. Infantrymen were usually the last to know since they were known as _the bottom of the food chain _around Shinra.

Cloud took a bite of his bagel, although he didn't have much of an appetite.

"Is he hurt badly?" the other infantryman asked.

"Well, the bullets he was hit with were poisoned." Cloud found the words hard to get out. He couldn't think about it without getting antsy.

"Who the hell would do something like that?" Luxiere said,waving his hand in the air. Cloud simply shrugged, not wanting to let any more information out into the open.

"So, what did I miss at training?" he asked.

"Oh, the usual. Obstacles. But, the squad leader wasn't exactly happy about you not being there. I know how important it is for you to be with Zack. Hell, I want you to be happy too, but you can't afford to get into trouble."

"I know. I'll try to balance everything," Cloud said. He got up, and tossed the rest of his unwanted bagel into the trash.

"Cloud, don't you have patrol duty right now?" Luxiere asked.

"Yeah, I'm going. I just need to see Zack first," he answered, as he walked out of the cafeteria. Luxiere shook his head, staring after him. He could only hope his friend would remember to put his job first; otherwise, he just might lose everything.

* * *

><p>Cloud glanced around himself awkwardly as he carried Zack's gift to the medics' wing. He waited patiently until one of the nurses had finished redressing Zack's wounds and had left his side before he entered. The SOLDIER smiled when he spotted his partner standing in the doorway. Cloud made his way towards Zack, the gift hidden behind his back.<p>

"Hey there, cutie," Zack grinned, assuming the nickname would cause the blond's cheeks to change colour. He was right.

"How are you feeling?" Cloud asked.

"Mmm, so-so. I don't feel like running a marathon or anything."

"Do you usually feel that good?"

"Of course," Zack teased. Cloud just shook his head and let out a quiet chuckle.

"I brought you something," Cloud said, pulling a bottle of liquid soap out from behind his back. "I used pretty much your whole bottle of this stuff when I got that bath, so I bought you some more when I was out the other day." Cloud placed the bottle on the table beside Zack.

"You didn't have to do that," Zack said, softly, then he laughed. "I _did_ notice you used it, though. Trying to hide something, were you?"

"You like embarrassing me today, don't you?" Cloud asked.

"Sorry. Thanks for the present, Cloud." They shared a brief smile, but Cloud looked away timidly when he heard a voice behind him.

"Hey, Zack! I knew you weren't dead," Kunsel called out. Zack kept his eyes on Cloud, giving him an apologetic look. Cloud shrugged slightly, knowing it couldn't be helped.

"Hi, Kunsel," Zack greeted, as the 2nd class SOLDIER approached the bed.

"How're you doing, buddy? A mission gone wrong, huh? Man, if I could just get my hands on those guys. I, uh—" Kunsel stopped talking when he noticed the blond beside him.

"Oh, um, I have to patrol. I-I was just... leaving," Cloud fumbled over his words. He turned and hung his head low as he silently left the room. Zack gazed longingly after him.

"Still friends, huh?" Kunsel asked after a minute, and Zack quickly brought his attention back to the man in front of him.

"Me and Cloud? Yeah, he's a great guy," Zack answered. Kunsel rolled his eyes slightly, and changed the subject.

"So, what happened to you, man? Everyone was worried. _I_ knew you'd be fine, of course."

"I was attacked, but I'd really rather not say anything else until I talk to Tseng about this," Zack said.

"I won't tell anyone."

"Yeah, you've said that before, and didn't keep that promise," Zack said, almost irritably.

"Come on, Zack," Kunsel begged.

"No. I'm not sure what this attack means, so I'd rather not let any information out. I don't want rumours circulating until the higher-ups know the whole story."

"Fine, but I'll find out before you know it, anyway."

"Whatever," Zack muttered. He knew that Kunsel, the king of gossip, probably _would_ succeed in finding the info he wanted.

Kunsel only stayed a few more minutes while they chatted about this and that. Then he left, leaving Zack to think about everything that had happened over the past week. He had been across the continent and back only to realize that there was a threat. Whether that threat was against him, SOLDIER, or all of Shinra, he wasn't sure, but he knew one thing for certain: he would keep Cloud safe from whatever danger came their way.

* * *

><p>AN: I know, it's a shorter chapter this week, but hopefully the cute little hospital scene was satisfying enough. Thanks to all readers/reviewers and everyone who has supported me or this story in any way! Please, don't forget to review. It's good motivation for me, and I love to know which scenes you all enjoyed. Anyway, until next week!


	12. Chapter 12

It was three days before Zack was released from the medics' wing with a strict order to take it easy for a week or two. The poison had been completely knocked out, but his wounds hadn't fully healed, which meant he would have to get lots of rest. There was no doubt in his mind that Cloud would force him to do so anyway.

Zack carried his bottle of liquid soap back to his room, chuckling when he received a few confused looks from the other employees he passed. He entered his suite, and changed into a clean, undamaged SOLDIER uniform. Then he plugged in his cell phone, which had died sometime during the journey back to Midgar, and checked his missed messages. Just as he had expected, he had a message from Tseng asking him to report in. Zack sighed and closed his cell. Relaxing would have to wait.

* * *

><p>"Shinra troops?" Tseng repeated.<p>

"Yeah, I know it's weird, but I'd know those uniforms anywhere."

"This is unnerving. And like you said a moment ago, I also think it's unlikely that Wutai troops are responsible for this." Tseng looked deep in thought, and so Zack stayed silent for a minute. When the Turk brought his eyes back up from his desk, Zack spoke.

"I was just thinking. Do you think this attack might have something to do with Director Lazard's disappearance?" Tseng looked slightly surprised at Zack's sudden moment of intelligence.

"It's possible, I suppose, but I'd rather not jump to any conclusions. Just take a break, Zack. Give the Turks a chance to look into it," Tseng answered, his hand on his chin, thoughtfully.

"This doesn't mean the infantrymen will be taking on SOLDIER missions again, does it?" Zack asked.

"No, some of the remaining SOLDIER members will pick up the slack." Zack nodded in response. Then came silence, and Tseng opened and closed his mouth a few times before getting any words out. "If you don't mind my asking, why are you so concerned about the infantrymen?"

"I'm concerned for _everyone's_ well-being. I don't want any unnecessary deaths," Zack answered, and it was true, but Cloud's life was certainly the biggest of his concerns.

"Your caring personality is admirable."

"Yeah, well, I know that deep down you care about their lives, too," the SOLDIER said. Tseng smiled slightly.

"Perhaps I do. In any case, I'll speak to the Turks, and also Heidegger and President Shinra, if I must. And you, Zack—" Tseng said, when Zack had begun to get up from his chair.

"Yeah?"

"I know it's hard for you, but do try to avoid any missions until we finish investigating. You'd be an easy target for whoever is behind all this."

"Yeah, I know," Zack sighed. "I'll try to occupy myself somehow."

"Good. Then that's all I have to say."

* * *

><p>Zack spent the rest of the morning catching up on some much needed sleep. The hospital bed hadn't been as comfortable as his own, and he'd been in too much pain before to really get the rest he needed. He'd just finished lunch when Cloud arrived; Zack knew it was him just by the way he knocked on the door.<p>

"Hey, Sunshine," Zack smiled, as he opened up.

"Hi. How are you feeling?" Cloud asked. He'd been to the medics' wing every day Zack had been there to check up on his improvement.

"Good, now that I can do things for myself again."

Cloud suddenly looked a bit uneasy, and he entered the apartment, closing the door swiftly behind him.

"What's up?" Zack asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"I-I came here to see... Well, I know your wounds must be pretty sore, and I just thought some warm water might feel good on them."

Zack had an idea of where this was going, and he tried to hide his surprise. He tenderly put a hand on the blond's reddening cheek.

"What did you have in mind?"

Cloud swallowed hard. He could hear what he thought was seductiveness in Zack's voice, and what startled him was that for the first time, he realized he sort of liked it.

"I thought m-maybe I could make you feel better if we were close to each other like that again. Like we were when we got that bath the other day."

"I don't want to unless you're comfortable," Zack said, his tone serious now, as his hands found their way to Cloud's shoulders.

"You don't have to keep saying that. I know I don't seem it, but I'm getting more comfortable with you all the time," Cloud said, after a minute. He stared at the floor, suddenly feeling so small, like he hadn't made any progress at all. At least, not enough progress that it was obvious to Zack.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"I know. I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about me so much. I _want_ to keep experiencing new things with you," the blond said, shifting his weight from his heels to his toes. The SOLDIER felt a smile creep onto his face.

"I'm glad. And I know you're more comfortable with me now. I've noticed a change in you. But I still want to make sure we don't ruin what we have by going too fast. I don't want to lose you."

"Zack?" Cloud's head tilted ever so cutely to the side.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about the heavy stuff right now, okay? Can we just take a bath?" the blond asked. Zack was still a bit worried about Cloud pushing himself for his sake, but the blond's firm and unfaltering expression reassured him that Cloud really did want this. The SOLDIER nodded and Cloud made a move towards the bathroom, but was stopped.

"I've got a better place we can go."

"What?"

"Come with me," Zack said, taking Cloud's hand.

"Wait, Zack. I want to give you this first." Zack turned towards the infantryman, whom then wrapped his arms around him and pressed his head in against his chest. Zack returned the embrace to a very content Cloud.

"I'm glad you're okay," the boy whispered. The SOLDIER buried a kiss within the blond spikes.

"So am I."

* * *

><p>Cloud followed nervously behind Zack, hoping no one would discover them. Having Luxiere know about their relationship was awkward enough for him; as far as he was concerned, the less people who knew about them, the better. If someone were to, however, see where they were now going, Cloud had no idea how Zack would go about explaining their activities.<p>

Zack finally stopped walking when they had made it to a hallway that Cloud had never visited before on the bottom floor of the Shinra building. Zack was careful to disguise the fact that he and Cloud were going to the same place as he discreetly lead his friend in the right direction.

"Welcome to the SOLDIER bath," Zack announced, holding his arm out towards the door in front of them.

"SOLDIER?" Cloud repeated, uneasily.

"Yeah. I know what you're thinking. Shinra is either pretty rich or pretty wasteful to build something like this."

"Actually, I was thinking I shouldn't be here," Cloud answered, glancing around for any suspecting passers-by.

"It'll be fine. We won't stay long." With that, Zack slid his employee card through the reader, unlocking the door. Then he pulled Cloud into the room, and closed the door behind them.

Cloud gazed around himself in awe, taking in the ridiculously luxurious space. It was as if he'd walked out of the Shinra building and into a spa. The walls were a pale blue colour. The floor was covered in white tiles. Large artificial plants were placed decoratively around the room. In the centre of the floor was what looked like an in-ground hot tub, but was probably twice as large.

"Yeah, that's the tub," Zack said, in response to Cloud's look of disbelief.

"Is that really necessary?" Cloud asked. Zack laughed.

"Hell, no. It's just one of those crazy rewards for being in SOLDIER." Zack walked over to the huge bathtub and motioned for the blond to follow, which he did.

"So, how do you want to do this? Do you want me to close my eyes and you can get in first, or—?"

"Zack, no one can get inside, can they?" Cloud asked, glancing at the entrance to the room.

"No. The door won't open until we scan my card again from this side of the door." Cloud nodded in response.

"So, about the bath—"

"Oh... um, you can get in first. But can you not look until I get in?" Cloud asked.

"Sure," Zack smiled, a look of complete understanding on his face, which Cloud would have appreciated had he had the courage to look him in the eye.

Cloud looked away timidly as Zack undressed and entered the tub. Then Zack looked away, as promised, while Cloud did the same. Cloud knew that being intimate with Zack would eventually mean they would have to see each other without cover, but figured that at least one more experience to gain trust in Zack wouldn't hurt.

Zack opened his eyes when he felt Cloud sit down beside him, and he made sure to focus on the boy's face rather than any other feature of his body that was threatening to pique his interest.

"You okay?" the older man asked.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud replied. Seconds later, Cloud felt an arm around his shoulder, and he nestled his head in against Zack's neck.

"So, let me get this straight. You don't care if you're in here naked with me as long as I don't watch you undress?" Zack asked, teasing him.

"I-I guess so."

"Your craziness is adorable," Zack said, kissing Cloud's cheek.

"It's not crazy. Undressing just seems so... seductive."

"You don't want me to get too turned on, right?"

"Zack..." Cloud groaned.

"Ah, it's probably for the best anyway." Cloud ignored Zack's comment, and tried to put the image of Zack getting excited _far_, _far _from his mind.

They sat for a minute, letting the atmosphere sink in. It truly was luxurious. The faint smell of mint bath solution was soothing, as was the warm water and the spaciousness of the place. Cloud couldn't help but let relaxation take over every inch of him. His muscles, his mind, everything was quiet, still. It was Zack who eventually broke the silence.

"Hey, Cloud. Do you think we could try something?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Cloud tried to read Zack's expression.

"Do you want to go a little further than we did last time?"

"How much further?" Cloud asked, his eyes now far from meeting Zack's.

"It won't be anything I don't think you're ready for, okay?"

Cloud forced himself to look at Zack. Those sincere blue eyes showed no sign of danger, nor did they show any sign of pressure. Like always, Cloud knew Zack would stop if he needed him to.

"Okay," Cloud answered.

"Here, turn around. Like we were last time," Zack said, gently, as he guided Cloud to where he wanted him. Cloud now sat in front of Zack, with Zack's legs on either side of his own. The SOLDIER slipped his arms under the blond's and wrapped them around him. Then, very lightly, he brushed his fingers across Cloud's skin, allowing his hands to begin roaming the boy's front.

"This okay?" Zack asked, hopefully.

"Yeah."

Cloud had no idea had how he was keeping his voice so steady. Truth be told, Zack's touch was very arousing. The SOLDIER now traced each line and muscle of Cloud's chest, then let his fingers slip down to circle his navel. Zack continued the pattern, moving his hands up and down the blond's slender body. Soon his hands travelled down to massage the tender skin on the inside of Cloud's hip bone. Cloud tried to stifle a hum of pleasure, but it was still loud enough for Zack to hear it. Wanting to please Cloud further, he kept one hand at Cloud's hip, while the other slid further down.

"Z-Zack," Cloud protested when he felt where Zack was trying to go.

"Too far?" Zack asked, bringing his hand back up to where it was more comfortable for his partner.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I can stop."

"No, it's alright. I just need a minute."

Zack let go of Cloud and watched as he moved back to his original position. The blond closed his eyes and Zack wondered whether or not he should speak. More than that, he wondered what thoughts were going through Cloud's head. Was he nervous? Did he want this? Did he trust him? Why did he want to stop? Cloud eventually eliminated Zack's guessing game.

"Zack, I'm just embarrassed." The blond's blue eyes met those of the SOLDIER.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Zack asked.

Cloud nodded.

"Why are you embarrassed?"

"We're two guys who are naked in a bathtub together!" Cloud announced, his face becoming deeply flushed. Zack almost laughed out loud at his partner's blunt statement, except Cloud's seriously distraught face made him think twice before doing so.

"Two guys... You're not still singing _that_ song, are you?"

Cloud shrugged.

"And the whole nudity thing? We've been together like this before."

"Yeah, but—"

"We come with the same gear, buddy," Zack sighed, at least trying to lighten the mood, even if it didn't make Cloud feel any better. Cloud turned to the SOLDIER, and stared at him for a minute, then looked away shyly as a smile forced its way onto his face.

"I guess you're right. It's just that... we've never done this before," the blond murmured quietly. Zack let out a guilty sigh.

"Look, sweetie, I don't care how far we go today. If you're happy to stop here, then that's more than okay with me, but you have to let me know. I'm not always sure how you feel about these things," Zack told him, taking Cloud's hand in his own and stroking it.

Cloud thought about it for a minute. Deepening the intimacy between himself and Zack was something he wanted to do, but like Zack had said, it didn't have to happen today. And regardless of when it happened, Cloud couldn't see how proceeding with a partner as gentle and caring as Zack could be a bad thing.

"Zack, will you just kiss me?" Cloud asked, putting on a sweet smile that made Zack remember how crazy he was about him.

"I'd have to be insane to say no to that," Zack smiled. He tenderly brushed a strand of blond hair out of the way, before kissing Cloud's soft forehead.

"That wasn't quite what I was looking for," Cloud frowned, not realizing that Zack was teasing him.

"Oh? Is this what you wanted?" Zack quickly darted his head into the crook of Cloud's neck and planted as many wet, sloppy kisses as he could while the blond squealed in delight from being tickled.

"No! Zack, no!" he shouted between eruptions of laughter.

"Sorry, sweetie. Where did you want your kiss?" the SOLDIER asked, grinning foolishly as he pulled away.

"On the lips."

"Oh, on the lips. Okay then," Zack smirked. He allowed his lips to lock with Cloud's, and heard the boy give a content sigh as they connected.

When they broke the contact, the younger man took a minute to let his eyes roam the upper body of his partner. It was the first time Cloud had actually _looked_ at him when he was shirtless. Zack was well-toned, but in a good way. He was what Cloud would have called perfect, and he tried to ignore the fact that he was a little envious. He quickly averted his gaze when Zack caught him staring.

"Sorry," Cloud whispered.

"It's okay. I wanted to do the same to you, but I was afraid you wouldn't like it."

"Why would you want to stare at me?" the cadet asked.

"Because you're beautiful." Zack's smile was contagious, and Cloud felt his lips curve upwards, even though it was still hard for him to understand Zack's desire for him; he wasn't sure he'd ever understand it.

Zack leaned in again and met Cloud's lips with his own, tasting him again and again. Cloud kissed back eagerly, and a sudden need set in. It wasn't something he'd planned, or even something he could explain, but that need drove him to get closer to Zack. The cadet, hardly even feeling in control of his body, moved closer to his partner, their chests almost touching as their lips moved against each other's. Zack's senses seemed to heighten when he felt the boy move in against him and, without letting their lips part, reached out for him. The SOLDIER's hands found their way to the younger man's lower back, and massaged him. Cloud released a small moan into Zack's mouth, which caused Zack to give a reply of equal satisfaction.

Passion seemed to grow stronger by the second. Cloud's arms wound themselves around Zack's neck in another attempt to get closer to him. When the cadet still seemed unsatisfied, Zack's hand slipped further down to Cloud's backside, and pulled him onto his lap. The blond made a shaky noise of surprise, and broke the kiss. There were no words spoken, only a glance between them, a mutual agreement that they were both ready to continue.

Lips met lips once again, hastily, while hands began to roam. Cloud's fingers found their way to Zack's chest and stroked him tenderly, despite the urgency of the moment. Zack traced circles in the small of Cloud's arched back. Both men could feel the rising heat between their legs as they clung tighter to each other, desperate for more contact. Cloud's heart was racing, but his thoughts were surprisingly still. He knew in that moment that he and Zack cared about each other, that they shared something special. He somehow knew that what they were doing was okay.

Cloud, whether he meant to or not, slid further up Zack's lap, causing a groan to emerge from Zack's throat. Cloud gasped into Zack's mouth when he felt them make contact under the water, and Zack pulled away.

"Cloud... We should stop, or this could get messy," Zack told him, between short, rapid breaths.

"I-I didn't mean to move up so far," Cloud apologized. His face was redder than Zack had ever seen it.

"It's okay. I just don't want to end up..._ you-know-what-ing_ in here." The SOLDIER gave a quick nod towards the water as he spoke.

"Y-yeah, me neither," Cloud agreed.

"I think it's probably frowned upon," Zack added, hoping to make light of the situation, but Cloud's absent reaction made him think he'd failed.

Zack knew he shouldn't have, but he couldn't help but take a quick peek to see if Cloud was as painfully turned on as he was, and found that he wasn't far behind.

"I'll get off now," the cadet mumbled, exceptionally embarrassed, as he clambered off of Zack.

They sat side-by-side in silence for several minutes, letting their bodies recover from the euphoric event. Zack reached out and took Cloud's hand in his own once his heartbeat had returned to a normal rate.

"I hope that wasn't too much," he said.

"It wasn't," Cloud answered.

Silence struck again while they stared mindlessly into the water in front of them. The younger man was in a slight state of shock. For one thing, he had never had such an intense experience with Zack—with anyone—before. For another, and what came as even more of a surprise to him, he hadn't been worried. Sure, his heart had been beating a mile a minute, and he was a bit unaccustomed to how much he and Zack had wanted to touch each other, but there had been no fear in his mind, and he'd had no thought of stopping. That, he was proud to realize, was great improvement.

"It... felt good," the cadet said after a moment.

"You really thought so?" Zack asked, turning his head to look at his partner. He was hardly able to believe this was the same boy who had been so nervous with him at first.

"Yeah. You... made it feel okay." Cloud smiled at him, and Zack felt overwhelmed with feelings of satisfaction and pure happiness.

"I'm glad," the SOLDIER smiled back.

They stayed in the tub for another short while, while Cloud carefully cleaned Zack's wounds with a wet towel. It was still easy to see where the bullets had made small, round cuts in Zack's skin, but Cloud was glad to see that they were healing well.

He dabbed at the cuts gently, and moved the towel slowly and delicately across Zack's chest when he changed to another spot.

"You're good at this," Zack whispered. He was more relaxed at that moment than he had been in the entirety of the last two weeks.

"I'm being really careful not to hurt you," Cloud answered, keeping his eyes on the task he was performing.

"You're doing great." Zack watched as Cloud worked away at soothing him.

"Hey, what do you say we go on another date? Maybe out for supper again? We could use some time away from Shinra," the SOLDIER said.

"That would be nice."

"Does 6:00 tomorrow night sound good? The restaurant we went to on our first date?"

"Sure."

"Great." Zack shivered as Cloud ran the dripping towel over his chest. "The water's starting to get chilly. Want to head back?"

"Okay. I _am_ getting kind of cold." Cloud tossed the towel onto the floor outside the tub as he spoke. Zack pulled himself out of the water and turned around to see that Cloud was actually_ watching_ him.

"Hey! You're brave enough to look!" Zack blurted out in excitement. Cloud simply smiled.

* * *

><p>Kunsel waited patiently outside the SOLDIER bath, his Shinra ID in hand. He'd tried it three times only to have the card reader flash red and deny him access. After about twenty minutes, he decided to take a walk down the hallway and come back, since it seemed like someone was enjoying some time alone in there, probably more than Kunsel wanted to know. He had just about made it back up the hall when the bathroom door opened. When he caught a glimpse of not only one person who had come out of the bathroom, but two, he almost turned away and made himself scarce. But when he realized that it was Zack and his infantryman friend, he hid in the corridor perpendicular to the one they were in so he wouldn't be spotted.<p>

He took a quick glance at the men, paying particular attention to Zack's hand as it brushed against the cadet's, then joined with it as if it had been there a hundred times before. Kunsel listened carefully, only hearing Zack's words 'you and me' and 'back to my room_'_, but that was all he needed to hear. Everything was clear now. The laughter coming from Zack's room, Zack's sudden befriending of an infantryman. All of it was because they were _together_.

For a minute, Kunsel didn't know what to think. It was kind of bizarre for him to picture his best friend with another guy, but at the same time, he wanted to support him like a good friend would. And although his mind screamed at him yet again to tell someone about his newest piece of gossip, he knew that if the higher-ups in Shinra were to find out, it might be over for them. He didn't know what kind of relationship the they had, whether it was about love or sex or what, but the last thing he wanted was for Zack to lose someone else important to him. And so, the 2nd class SOLDIER simply watched as the two disappeared from his sight, a smile plastered on his face.

* * *

><p>They made it back to Zack's room, and Zack decided to whip up some soup for their supper. Cloud was surprised when Zack volunteered to crack open a cookbook and make him his own homemade soup. Cloud helped out, not wanting Zack to have to do all the work, especially when he was supposed to be recovering from his injuries. Zack chose a vegetable soup from his <em>Cooking In Gongaga<em> cookbook, and got started on making the broth while Cloud chopped up the vegetables.

"You know what would be really cute?" Zack said all of a sudden, as he stepped away from his pot of broth.

"What?"

"If you wore a little white apron while you cooked."

"Oh, you're funny," Cloud said, sarcastically.

"You're cute without an apron, too," Zack smiled, as he walked up behind Cloud and wrapped his arms around his middle.

"I think you're still on a high from the bath," Cloud chuckled, continuing to cut up the vegetables as Zack held him.

"Maybe I am. What, do you have a problem with me being so happy?" the SOLDIER teased.

"Of course not. Your never ceasing to be happy is part of why I love you so much." Zack froze.

"Y-you said it!"

"Said what?" Cloud asked in confusion, turning his head so he could see Zack.

"That you love me."

"What? N-no, I didn't." The cadet turned his head back around, and focused on the vegetables with more concentration then ever.

"Yes, you did." Zack could feel the tension in Cloud's body as he held him in his arms. Then came a few moments of silence.

"It wasn't supposed to slip out," Cloud said, softly. Zack soothingly stroked Cloud's shoulder.

"What does it matter? Why don't you tell me that you feel that way when I _know_ you do?" Cloud gently broke free of Zack's arms so he could turn around and face him while he spoke.

"What?" Cloud's voice was weak.

"I just don't understand why it's so difficult for you." There was slight frustration in Zack's voice, and Cloud could feel the guilt starting to eat away at him already.

"A-are you upset with me?" Cloud asked, quietly. Zack's expression softened, and he touched the boy's face, stroking his cheek.

"No, sweetie, I'm not. I'm sorry if I sounded annoyed."

"The other night in the medics' wing, you told me you would wait for as long as I needed you to," Cloud said.

"And I will. I love you so much, Cloud. I guess I just find it hard to understand what's stopping you from saying the same thing. I don't need you to say it right now, but maybe you could tell me why you won't?" Zack asked, gently.

He felt like a criminal, getting frustrated with someone he loved so much. And over something so stupid. Why did those three words have to matter so much to him anyway? He knew Cloud cared about him. Why couldn't that be enough?

Cloud started to cry just then, and Zack wished he could have sunken into the ground.

"Sunshine, it's okay. You don't have to," Zack comforted, or at least tried to.

"This is stupid. I don't even know why I'm crying," Cloud sniffed. Zack pulled Cloud into his arms and held him there while he cried into his chest. Cloud felt a hand on his back, rubbing him soothingly. He managed to quickly get himself back under control.

"I'm not ready for us to make love yet," Cloud mumbled into Zack's shirt. Zack frowned in confusion, not to mention _alarm_.

"What? Since when were we talking about that?" Zack was a bit horrified that Cloud was worrying about that. They were supposed to be taking things one step at a time; hell, Zack thought they had been.

"If I say those words, then it means it won't be long before we make love, right?" Cloud asked, raising his tear-stained face up so Zack could see.

"What are you talking about? It's not like that at all," Zack said, feeling slightly shaken by Cloud's lack of faith in him.

"It's not?"

"No. Where did you get that idea?"

"I just thought that once I said it, that would be the next step. People who are _in_ love _make love_, don't they?" Cloud asked, tearfully. Zack dried Cloud's wet cheek with his thumb.

"People who are in love wait until the right time. Maybe someday we will end up in that situation, but if we do, we're going decide together when we're ready. Saying we love each other has nothing to do with that," Zack told the boy, softly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's just a way of saying that we care for each other. You're not committing yourself to me in that way by telling me you love me."

"Oh. Well, I've never been with anyone before. I didn't know what to expect when things started to progress," Cloud murmured. Zack gently pulled Cloud's head in against his chest again, and played with his hair between his fingertips.

"That's okay. I just hope you realize that our relationship is about more than sex."

"I do," Cloud answered. "But, Zack... Will you wait just a little longer for me to say it?"

"Of course I will. However long it takes."

* * *

><p>The Gongagan soup turned out to be a huge success. It wasn't long before Zack had gotten Cloud back into a carefree mood, and they had resumed their cooking. They ate, made light conversation, then spent a long while in front of the door trying to say goodbye to each other, but not particularly wanting to. Finally, Cloud decided that it was really imperative that he get back, and so they kissed each other goodnight one last time before Zack opened the door to let him out. Cloud started to walk out into the hallway, but turned around.<p>

"Zack?" he said.

"Yeah?"

Cloud fidgeted before him, looking as if he really wanted to say something but didn't know how.

"Yeah?" Zack repeated.

"I, um, I enjoyed the bath," Cloud admitted, smiling briefly. With that, he continued on his way back down the hallway, and all Zack could do was grin in amusement. Damn, that boy was growing on him.

* * *

><p>AN: Happy week-end everybody! This is kind of a treat chapter for everybody; it's pretty long, and hey, you gotta love the SOLDIER bath. haha. Anyway, I want to thank my beta for sitting down with me and going through this chapter piece by piece. It was a tough one to edit, I don't know why. Anyway, thanks a bunch, pal! And as always, thanks to everyone who's been reading this story! I know it seems like I say that all the time, but I really mean it. I really appreciate the feedback I've been getting as well! Keep it up, reviewers! Talk to you all next week-end!


	13. Chapter 13

The scene replayed in Cloud's head again and again. He just couldn't forget how it all felt: his heart pounding against Zack's, Zack's hands on his body, their lips eagerly caressing each other's. Then there was the feeling of Zack pulling him onto his lap, causing an even more intense passion to take over. The heat... So much heat...

Cloud couldn't forget when Zack got out of the tub, and he truly saw him for the first time. He'd watched the droplets of water trickle down Zack's tanned skin. And when Zack turned around, Cloud's eyes fixed themselves on his perfect body, soaking up the look of his exposed neck and chest, then his toned torso, and his—

"You missed patrol duty yesterday," Luxiere said, shaking what he thought was a sleeping Cloud. Cloud blinked in surprise, and quickly pulled the covers over his rapidly reddening face. Why did Luxiere have to 'wake' him at such a bad time?

Cloud tried hard to push the thoughts of Zack away, and focused on what Luxiere had said. His roommate had been out when he'd gotten back the night before, so he hadn't even talked to him since he'd returned from Zack's.

"What? No, I didn't," Cloud mumbled, still sounding groggy despite having been awake for a few minutes.

"Yes, you did."

"Yesterday was Tuesd—"

"Wednesday," Luxiere corrected. Cloud cursed under his breath.

"I thought I had the afternoon off."

"Were you with Zack?" the other man asked, before Cloud had fully finished his sentence.

"Y-yes, but I'll do better," Cloud said, nodding his head.

"Look Cloud, I'm glad that things are going well for you two, but I can't keep covering for you when you're not around. Over the past few days, I've been taking on your patrol shifts as often as I can, but I can't keep it up."

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't realize you—" Cloud started, but was interrupted again.

"If I'm caught doing your job, I'll be sent home. I came here to join SOLDIER, and if that's still your dream, start striving for it again."

Cloud remained silent for a minute as he processed those words. He couldn't deny that they had hurt a little, and he could tell Luxiere had prepared that speech beforehand; it must have really been bothering him. Cloud hadn't meant to put his friend in a position like that, but it did bring him back to the harsh reality that Zack wasn't his reason for being at Shinra. Luxiere had been sticking his neck out for him and risking his position at Shinra while he was so carelessly spending his time with Zack. His friend deserved better than that.

"You're right," the younger cadet said, quietly. He heaved a half-hearted chuckle to try and hide the hurt in his voice. "I wanted to join SOLDIER. I can't give up on that."

Luxiere nodded, looking satisfied.

"But I'm not giving up the one person who's made me happier than I've ever been," Cloud added, no fear in his eyes whatsoever as they met Luxiere's. The older man knew his friend wasn't going to back down.

"Cloud?"

"I know. I really appreciate what you've done for me, and I hope I don't sound too ungrateful when I say this, but I didn't ask you to take over my patrol duties. Don't worry about covering for me anymore."

"But if you miss much more, you'll be on your way back to Nibelheim," Luxiere said, concern in his voice. Cloud knew he was right, and he sure as hell didn't want to leave. He still had things to do here at Shinra.

"You know that balance I talked about? I'm going to find it. I promise I will."

* * *

><p>Zack had woken up early due to an unsettled feeling in his stomach. He felt horrible about the night before. He hadn't realized that the main reason Cloud wasn't admitting his love for him was<em> not<em> because he was embarrassed, or because he was afraid of what he would think; it was because Cloud believed he had to _give it up_ to him if he did so. Now Zack felt he had to make everything better, to clear away all those doubts that Cloud had. That's why he was so excited for dinner.

He had a plan to leave early so he could pick out a sorry card for Cloud, go to dinner, then take him for a walk, and try to reassure him that the purpose of their relationship was to be there for each other. Zack honestly wanted nothing more than to be everything Cloud wanted or needed him to be. Whether that meant holding him while he cried, making him laugh when he was sad, or even just kissing him when he needed to be reminded how much he was loved, Zack wanted to be the one to do it.

Zack threw some bread in the toaster, and tapped his fingers on the counter while he waited. There was a knock at the door just as his toast rose up with a pop. Zack glanced at the toaster, then at the door, and quickly threw his breakfast onto a plate before letting his visitor in. He opened the door one-handed, and was embarrassed when it was not the blond boy he assumed would be in his doorway.

"Expecting someone else?" Cissnei asked, raising her eyebrows at Zack's apparel. He was dressed in nothing but his plaid pyjama pants.

"Uh, you just caught me by surprise," Zack said, trying to pull off a casual tone, despite the awkwardness of the moment. Cissnei put a hand up to her mouth to stifle a chuckle, then she spoke.

"The Turks have started investigating the attack during your mission. Tseng wanted me to tell you that," she said, entering the apartment.

"Oh yeah? Did you find anything?" Zack asked. He closed the door and put his plate down on the counter.

"We sent the toxin that was collected when you were in the hospital to the science department so it can be analyzed. As far as the attackers go, we know neither who they are, nor do we know their motive. We do, however, wonder if this has something to do with Angeal." Zack turned his head abruptly to look at her.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Every painful memory and emotion pertaining to his mentor's death began trickling back into his mind, hitting him with the same sting he'd felt when he'd first gotten back from that mission. He'd been distracted from those thoughts as of late, but now...

"Although your mission report on Angeal's death clearly states what happened to him, you didn't write a whole lot about what Hollander had to do with it."

"I didn't _know_ much. What are you suggesting?" Zack asked, impatiently.

"These are two of our possible scenarios. One, Hollander had something to do with the attack. Or two, Angeal was against Shinra for longer than we realized, and made himself an army," Cissnei said, folding her arms after she'd tossed the mission folder onto the table. Zack felt his temperature rise.

"That's ridiculous! Angeal wouldn't have done something like this!"

"You didn't believe he would betray Shinra either, and he did," the Turk replied. The SOLDIER found himself lost for words, partly due to anger, and partly because he couldn't argue with her. But Zack still felt in his heart that Angeal would never have wanted to hurt him, or anyone for that matter.

"I knew Angeal. Sure, things got crazy in the end, but what would he have gained from endangering peoples' lives? I know he wouldn't have wanted that. The only reason he betrayed us in the first place was because, well... life just got too hard for him." Cissnei stared at him, her face full of sympathy. She knew it hurt Zack to talk about Angeal, and she didn't want to put him through it. Yet, it had to be discussed.

"Don't worry, Zack. We're not saying Angeal is responsible for anything yet," she said. Zack just folded his arms in annoyance.

"You haven't even heard the worst accusation yet."

"Hmm? Now, what would that be?" Zack grumbled.

"You."

"W-what?" Zack blinked in disbelief.

"When Tseng told Heidegger about your mission, he brought forward the possibility that you could have set the whole thing up for some ulterior motive."

"That's insane! You think I arranged to have myself shot?"

"We Turks don't believe this is the case. Heidegger ordered me to search your room for any evidence that point to you as a suspect. Tseng says it's unnecessary as long as we keep it a secret that I failed to do so."

"That's fine with me," Zack frowned, his arms still crossed in disgust.

"Good. That's all the information I have right now," Cissnei said, gathering the folder into her arms.

"Wait, Cissnei. Do you know anything else about the Director? Are the incidents related?"

"We don't know yet. Until we do, try to stay out of danger, Zack. The world doesn't seem like a very safe place right now, especially for SOLDIER." She nodded a goodbye and left the apartment, closing the door behind her. Fury, pain, all of it was coming back. Zack scraped his breakfast into the garbage can. His appetite was long gone.

* * *

><p>"Strife! Good of you to show your face here again," the squad leader said, arms folded, as Cloud made his way onto the field for his morning training session. Cloud saluted his leader, and started to follow behind the other men, but was stopped by the man's firm voice calling him back. He returned to his leader, his head hanging low in embarrassment. Honestly, he felt like the man knew he would hate being called out in front of everyone.<p>

"Sir?" Cloud asked. He looked his leader in the eye, but felt so very small, like he was being scrutinized under his gaze. The man didn't speak right away; he seemed to want to make Cloud feel as uncomfortable and inferior as possible before he opened his mouth.

"It has come to my attention that you haven't been tending to your responsibilities. Training, patrol duties, you've even been missing for role call the past few occasions."

"I'm sorry, Si—"

"I'm not big on apologies. This is the army, son. Don't forget that."

"I'll be here from now on," Cloud said, but the man had begun talking again when Cloud was in mid-sentence.

"Come with me, Strife. Your slacking off doesn't come without consequences," the leader said, sternly. He turned towards the building, the heel of his boot squishing the mud beneath him as he did so, and began walking. Luxiere shot his friend a questioning glance from the field, but Cloud could only shrug nervously in return as he followed his leader in fear.

* * *

><p><em>I'm really sorry things got a bit awkward between us, Cloud. I'll wait forever for you. Love, Zack.<em>

Zack knew the card was cheesy—the smiling moogles on the front only added to that—but he felt he needed prove to Cloud that he would always be patient with him. Zack was disappointed in himself for still wanting to be intimate with Cloud, but he wouldn't let it control him; keeping Cloud in his life, and making him feel like the most special person in the world was much more important.

Zack waited outside the restaurant for his little ball of sunshine to appear, expecting him to pop into view any second. After ten minutes had passed, he started to pace, and debated whether or not he should go inside and wait. He poked his head inside the restaurant to make sure Cloud hadn't gotten there before him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Ten minutes turned to twenty, and Zack began to accept the fact that Cloud wasn't coming. It worried him. He'd thought he'd patched things up between them well enough the night before that Cloud would at least come to dinner. After all, Cloud had seemed to be in a good mood when he'd left.

Zack jumped when his cellphone rang. He reached into his pocket, and snapped it open.

"Hellooo?"

"Aerith?" Zack asked, surprised to hear her voice. Then, the awkwardness started to set in. It had been weeks since he'd even thought of the girl. Zack mentally kicked himself. Of course, Aerith was sweet and kind, and he was glad to hear from her. But now he was dating Cloud, and he was ashamed to realize that he'd never officially broken it off with Aerith. He hoped she'd figured out they weren't a couple anymore. After all, they hadn't hung out in a very long time.

"That's right. It's been a long time since I heard from you. I was starting to worry," she said. Zack glanced around hopefully one last time for Cloud. _He's not coming. Face it_, Zack unwillingly admitted to himself. He reached into his pocket and felt all that extra gil he had jingling around in there. It seemed wrong to let the night go to waste.

"Hey, Aerith? You want to go to dinner with me?"

* * *

><p>Zack met Aerith in the slums and they walked back to the restaurant together. Zack felt silly carrying Cloud's card around, but folding it up and putting it in his pocket would ruin it, and he didn't feel like doing that. No, everything had to be <em>just right<em> if he was going to fix things.

Aerith talked a lot during supper, which Zack appreciated because he frankly didn't feel like striking up a conversation. He'd invited her mostly because he didn't want to spend his evening alone. Aerith smiled and watched Zack as she talked. Zack's thoughts, however, were on anything but her words. Aerith was aware of this, but Zack seemed down, so she didn't mention it. Instead, she decided to raise a topic that she thought might be of more interest to him.

"So, how are things at Shinra?" Aerith asked, as they waited for their food to arrive. Zack looked up at her momentarily.

"Shinra? Hmm. Complicated," he answered.

"Oh?"

"There have been some weird incidents lately. I don't really think I'm allowed to say anything about them," Zack told her, twirling the tiny umbrella that floated in his drink. His eyes were nowhere near hers now. He kept remembering his first night here with Cloud; how good Cloud had looked, how nice their evening had been afterwards.

"Is that what's got you so down?" Aerith asked.

"Who said I was _down_?" Zack popped his head up once again.

"Well, you certainly seem it."

"Oh. Sorry." They were both quiet after that, and Zack eventually realized that she was waiting to see if he would speak.

"It's this friend I have. Things got kind of... crazy between us, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Did you have a fight?" she asked.

"Not a fight, exactly. More like a misunderstanding."

"Oh, well did you try to clear things up?"

"Yeah, I thought I did. And I arranged to meet him today, but he didn't show up, which makes me think..." Zack trailed off.

"Hmm. Maybe he forgot?"

"Maybe. Or maybe he's still kind of—" Zack paused, as he searched for a word. "Upset."

"Well, if it were me, I'd apologize for whatever happened, and try to reassure him that things can go back to normal if you let them," Aerith told him.

"Back to normal," Zack repeated. "That makes sense, but how do I apologize?"

"Looks like you've got that figured out already," the girl smiled. Zack raised his eyebrows momentarily in confusion, then realized she was referring to the card. Apparently she'd noticed that he hadn't taken his hand off it the entire time he'd been with her.

"O-oh, yeah," Zack chuckled, awkwardly. Aerith continued to smile at him.

"Don't worry. You'll work it out."

* * *

><p>Instead of staying in his room for breakfast the next morning, Zack went down to the cafeteria. He grabbed himself a burnt bagel with peanut butter and headed down to where Cloud and his roommate were sitting.<p>

"Hey," Zack said gently to Cloud, after he'd nodded a hello to the other man. Luxiere nodded back, then awkwardly left the table, taking his breakfast tray with him. Zack watched as he left, feeling bad that he had apparently intruded, then turned to Cloud. The boy was wearing his helmet, but Zack had been able to spot him because of his small size and because of the familiar brunet man next to him.

"Hi, Zack," Cloud answered. He didn't sound mad or upset. That was a good sign in Zack's books.

"I missed you last night," Zack said, trying not to sound accusing. Cloud stared at him blankly for a minute, then it clicked, and his eyes widened.

"Dinner! I completely forgot."

"That's okay. I just thought you might have still been feeling weird about yesterday. I thought maybe you wanted to... you know, break up, or something." Zack reached for his napkin and began twisting it nervously with his hands. Cloud lowered his gaze to the table.

"Of course not," he whispered. He was blushing now, and it occurred to Zack that the boy probably would have preferred to have this conversation somewhere more private. Nonetheless, he smiled at Cloud's response.

"Well, we can reschedule. How about tonight?" the older man asked.

"I-I can't. I have training."

"Oh, okay. Tomorrow?"

"I have to patrol." It was tearing Cloud apart to say no, but he'd made a promise to Luxiere to get back on track with his duties, and he swore to himself that he would keep that promise.

"Well, when you're done with all of this evening's duties, why don't you come stay the night?" Zack asked, keeping his voice low enough that no one but Cloud could hear. The younger boy knew he would have to leave early in the morning, but he could definitely pull it off. The mere thought of falling asleep in Zack's arms was comforting, and he couldn't refuse.

"Yeah, okay," Cloud whispered back. Zack smiled, and moved to kiss Cloud on his currently helmet-covered forehead, but remembered where he was, and instead stayed in his seat. He wouldn't have minded if all of Shinra watched him kiss the adorable blond, but he knew Cloud would feel differently. And because Zack's trust in Shinra had been a bit shaken as of late, he realized it might not have been a bad idea to refrain.

* * *

><p>"I won't be around tonight," Cloud told Luxiere as they walked back from patrolling in Sector 8. The other cadet closed his eyes in disbelief, but quickly regained his calm composure before Cloud noticed.<p>

"You mean the whole night?" he asked.

"Yeah. Z-Zack asked me to stay with him." Cloud hadn't realized how embarrassing it was to admit until he'd already begun saying it. Luxiere pursed his lips while he thought of something to say. Honestly, he was concerned. Cloud had been his friend for quite some time, and he didn't want to see him lose his way.

"There's training in the morning. Will you—?"

"Yeah, I'll be there. There's a lot more pressure on me now," Cloud said.

"Uh-huh."

Silence struck as they continued walking, and Cloud wondered what Luxiere was thinking. This whole thing with him and Zack was probably really difficult to keep quiet about, and he wondered what Luxiere thought of the whole thing. He had still been a good friend even after he found out, but Cloud figured it was strange for him to cover his absence when he knew he was only missing duties because of his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend_. Cloud honestly hated that word because it wasn't how he thought of Zack at all; he was more than that. Zack was like his, well— Cloud wondered if _other half_ was too strong a term at this point.

"So, are you gonna be okay? You know, after today's meeting with the leader?" Luxiere asked.

"Yeah. Sure, I am," Cloud answered, but his friend stared at him, obviously unconvinced.

"I know you probably wouldn't want to, but you know, Zack could probably get you out of it."

"No, I said it's okay." Cloud's answer was firm, almost a bit defensive.

"Well, in the end, it's up to you, I guess," Luxiere said, throwing his hands behind his head in defeat. The boy obviously wasn't going to change his mind.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Cloud asked, as they reached the building.

"Yeah. And, Cloud?" The blond looked back at his friend. Although it was a bit difficult for him to come to terms with, Luxiere knew his friend deserved the best, and right now, that was to spend time with a certain 1st class SOLDIER.

"Have a good time at Zack's," Luxiere smiled. The younger man nodded back and smiled.

"Thanks."

* * *

><p>Zack had spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning his apartment. He'd scrubbed every dish, vacuumed every floor, and dusted every surface until he was satisfied with the place. If he wanted Cloud to feel at home and relaxed, the apartment had to be perfect. In fact, Zack wanted the whole night to be perfect. He wanted it to be romantic, and for Cloud to feel nothing but loved and safe with him. Even Zack knew how corny he could be sometimes when it came to romance, but he thought Cloud would appreciate it all the same.<p>

Zack, despite his avidity, calmly opened the door when he heard a quiet knock. The familiar infantryman smiled up at him when he came into view.

"Hey, there," Zack smiled, holding the door open so Cloud could come in.

"Hi." Cloud looked like he was seeing the apartment for the first time. Once Zack had closed the door, the blond turned around to look at him, eyeing him almost suspiciously.

"What is it?" Zack asked.

"I hardly recognize this place. It's so clean and... candle-y."

"I just wanted to make tonight kind of romantic," the older male said, watching as the boy took in his surroundings.

"You made it this romantic for _me_?" the boy asked.

"Who else would I do it for?" Zack laughed, ruffling Cloud's spiky hair.

"But, you're not expecting us to... _you know_?" Cloud asked. Well, it was more a statement than a question, as if he knew that wasn't Zack's intention. Zack suddenly realized that the place _could_ give off that impression, but judging by the expression on Cloud's face, he wasn't afraid.

"No, of course not. I just want us to feel close to each other, I guess," Zack said, giving his friend a gentle smile. Cloud nodded and smiled back.

"Come here. I got you something," the SOLDIER suddenly announced, taking Cloud's hand and leading him over to the couch. He grabbed the card off the table once Cloud was seated beside him. Cloud eyed Zack curiously when the card was given to him, but Zack just grinned.

"You didn't have to do this," Cloud said, half-smiling once he'd read it. It seemed to him that Zack had blown their whole conversation from a couple of nights ago way out of proportion. He wasn't upset or uncomfortable since they'd had the 'love and making love' talk. And the fact that Zack was going out of his way to make things right gave Cloud a strong feeling. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but for the first time, he felt like their relationship might last. For the first time he wondered if maybe they were meant to spend their lives together.

"Yes, I did, because I can't stand things not being right between us. I just want you to know that I'm sorry if I pushed you to do things you weren't ready for—"

"Zack?" The SOLDIER stopped immediately at the sound of the boy's voice, and remained very still while Cloud leaned in and kissed him.

"Thank you," Cloud whispered as they parted.

"You're welcome."

* * *

><p>They situated themselves better on the couch, cuddling up close and feeling comforted by the warmth. Cloud rested his head on Zack's shoulder, the SOLDIER's strong arms around him. They watched TV only for about ten minutes before Cloud began yawning.<p>

"You tired?" Zack asked, glancing down at the younger man.

"Yeah. Long day."

"We can go to bed if you want."

"But you did all this cleaning. It would be a waste if we went to bed already."

"No, it wouldn't. It's totally fine."

"Well, can we talk for a bit before we sleep?"

"Sure," Zack smiled.

They readied themselves for sleep—Cloud borrowed the same pyjamas that Zack had lent him when he'd stayed over before—and Zack blew out all but one candle which he brought into the bedroom and placed on the bedside table. Then he lay down next to Cloud and pulled the covers over them.

"The candle-light does make it kind of romantic," Cloud whispered shyly, avoiding Zack's gaze as he did so.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No, I'm fine."

Zack wrapped an arm around Cloud who willingly moved in closer against the larger form. The blond boy was silent for a long moment, and opened his mouth several times to say something, but always ended up stopping himself.

"Um, Zack?" he finally asked.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of our relationship?"

"What do you mean?" Zack asked, staring down at the boy in his arms.

"Is it any different than your other relationships?" Cloud kept his head down as he spoke. Zack eyed him suspiciously and smirked.

"How do you know I've been in other relationships?"

"W-well, I just guessed. I mean, you're really popular and you're so—" Cloud broke off before he further embarrassed himself.

"What? What were you going to say?"

"Nothing."

"Come on," Zack taunted him, playfully.

"Beautiful," Cloud said, almost in a whisper.

"Whoa, wait. You think I'm beautiful?"

"Yeah." This time, Cloud's voice didn't make it past a whisper. Zack placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead.

"I think you've got me beat as far as beautiful goes." Cloud couldn't help but smile at those words. He knew it was strange, but he couldn't remember anyone ever being as sweet or kind to him as Zack was. Even his mother would have had a hard time competing with Zack's constant attempts to convince him he was the most special person in the world.

"So, _have you_ been with other people before?" the blond asked again.

"I'm sorry, Cloud, but yeah, I have." Cloud swallowed hard, despite having expected the response.

"It's okay. W-why are you sorry?"

"I just wish you had been my first love." Cloud fidgeted in response.

"Zack, that's a big thing to admit. How can you say it so easily?"

"Because it's an easy concept. I've never been with anyone that I've loved more than you."

"Zack..." The SOLDIER smiled at the boy's soft expression.

"I know it's a crazy thing to say because we haven't even been together that long, but I've never loved anyone this way, or felt this close to anyone."

Cloud had started playing with the wrinkles in Zack's t-shirt, and Zack smiled at his actions. He loved that Cloud seemed so at ease with him.

"I sound pretty lame right now, don't I?" Zack asked. Cloud shook his head against his pillow.

"I don't mind."

Zack watched his partner move his hands over the material covering his chest, and waited for him to say something.

"So, your other relationships—?"

"Oh, yeah. One was when I saw sixteen. We met in Midgar and she thought being a SOLDIER was an attractive quality, I guess. The other was a few months ago, and things were actually going pretty well for a while, and then—" Zack broke off.

"Then what?"

"I met you." The older man smiled, causing the younger one to blush.

"O-oh. Right." Cloud grinned a little, and let out a timid chuckle. He then became extra focused on Zack's shirt as the question that he desired, yet feared to ask, rose to the tip of the tongue. He couldn't wait any longer; he needed to know the answer.

"So, I guess you probably... It's only natural that you would have... G-gone all the way?"

Zack stared down at the boy's red cheeks, and those beautiful eyes that were currently avoiding his own. The SOLDIER sighed.

"Sometimes these things just happen without really thinking them through. It's one of those things that may have seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Oh, y-yeah, of course. Of course, you would have," Cloud said, his voice coming out weaker than he would have liked. Zack could see the disappointment in Cloud's face, and was a bit touched, to say the least, that he wanted it to be the first time for both of them. The truth was, Zack had never done it before. He'd only led Cloud to believe otherwise to see how important it all was to him.

"Cloud, I've never made love to anyone."

The blond was still for a moment, then looked up at Zack uncertainly.

"You haven't?" Cloud asked, quietly.

"No. I really haven't," Zack answered, softly. Cloud stared at him for a moment, then averted his gaze and smiled. Zack could see so much joy behind that smile, even though he knew Cloud was trying hard to hide it.

"So, if I play my cards right—"

"Yeah. You'll be my first. I-if you want to, I mean," Zack added, not wanting him to feel obligated.

"I _do_ want to. Just not yet."

"Yeah," Zack smiled. "I agree."

Cloud captured Zack's lips for a quick moment, and when he stopped, Zack leaned in and kissed him again. Cloud allowed him to briefly explore his sweet mouth, but it wasn't long before they parted, not wanting to get too hot and bothered right before bed. They definitely didn't want to do something they would end up regretting. The two settled down underneath the covers, Zack's arm wrapping itself almost instinctively around Cloud as he snuggled up to his side.

"Goodnight, Cloud. I love you."

"Goodnight. I... I care about you, Zack. I really do," Cloud replied, feeling somewhat foolish. Zack chuckled, unvexed by Cloud's response.

"I can live with that," he said, as he blew out the last burning candle.

* * *

><p>AN: This chapter was a pain to edit. It took so long. I love the ending scene, though. Zack tries so hard to make everything so perfect when he's with Cloud. He's kind of a sneak, too. Trying to see if Cloud would care if he'd done it before? haha. Thanks everyone for reading/reviewing/faving! By the way, if anyone's interested, I do have a couple of other Clack stories on here. They're just short little things, and they're entirely different from this story, but maybe you'd want to check them out. See you all next week!


	14. Chapter 14

Luxiere smiled at the sight before him. Cloud was standing in the doorway to their room, arriving _on time_ for morning training. The tall, dark-haired SOLDIER stood behind him.

"I told you I'd be here," Cloud said, giving Luxiere an almost cheeky grin.

"Good job," the other infantryman replied, though he was somewhat distracted by the 1st that stood in his doorway. Zack noticed the man staring at him, and instantly became uncomfortable.

"Don't worry. I was just walking Cloud back, but I'll get going. The days are just long and boring when I have no missions, so I thought I'd come with him," Zack told him.

"Ah, I see."

Cloud entered the room and, when Luxiere wasn't looking, he carefully tucked the card from Zack under his pillow. He then grabbed his rifle from its propped up position beside his bed.

"Okay, I'm ready for when the whistle goes," he grinned.

"And you're six minutes ahead of schedule," Luxiere smiled.

"Really? Then I'm gonna run to the bathroom," Cloud said.

He slung his gun over his back, and headed for the door, receiving a quick smile from Zack as he passed him. Cloud returned the smile, then made his way down the hallway.

Zack and Luxiere stood in awkward silence, avoiding each other's gaze. Zack debated whether or not he should leave before Cloud got back, since his roommate obviously didn't seem too keen on him being there.

"Um, Mr. Fair?"

"Please, call me Zack." Luxiere shuffled his foot back and forth for a second, looking uncomfortable.

"Zack, can I talk to you about something?" Luxiere asked, much to Zack's surprise. The SOLDIER drew his gaze to the other man, uncertainly.

"Sure."

"It's about Cloud. He's been missing a lot of his duties," the man said.

"He has?" Zack frowned.

Luxiere nodded. Zack nodded back slowly, and his eyes flickered about the room as he processed the information. He was quiet for a minute as he came to a conclusion.

"Is that why you don't like me?" Zack asked.

"Hey, I have nothing against you. I actually admire you, Zack. I just thought you of all people would make sure Cloud kept his job."

"W-what are you implying? I didn't know he was skipping out!"

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. You're making Cloud happy, and that's a good thing, but he's my friend too. I don't want to see him get kicked out of Shinra for slacking off," Luxiere said.

"That's the last thing I want, too," Zack replied, a bit defensively.

They were both silent for a moment.

"Maybe I should have made sure he didn't have to work when we spent time together, but at the same time, I thought he would have told me," Zack said, finally.

"Cloud can be shy and sensitive sometimes. He might have thought he would hurt your feelings if he said he couldn't spend time with you."

"But, I would have understood that," Zack said, his voice shaky.

"I know. Look, I'm sorry if I'm making you seem like the bad guy here. I just wanted you to know so you could watch out for him, too."

Silence struck again, and Zack felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He hated himself for not taking more careful notice of Cloud's schedule, and as a result, he suddenly felt responsible for all the times those missed duties could have put Cloud one step farther away from increasing in rank.

"I hate to say it, but he may need more than only you—"

"To make him happy," Zack finished, staring blankly at the floor.

"Do you know why he came to Shinra?"

"To become SOLDIER. He told me the first time we met."

"Exactly. But listen, you may be the key to making that happen, Zack. You'll help him, won't you?" Their eyes met briefly, and Zack understood in that moment that the other man wanted Cloud's dream to come true just like he did.

Cloud walked back into the room at that moment, and the two other men went silent again.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked. "Zack, are you okay?"

"Yeah. We were just discussing battle techniques," Zack answered, dumbly, trying his best to muster an expression that was appropriate for his explanation. Cloud eyed him, clearly doubting the truth in that story, but there was no time to question him as the whistle sounded a moment later.

"What if someone sees you here?" Cloud asked, worriedly.

"I'll wait in your room until your unit leaves," Zack answered.

"Okay."

Their lips met briefly, and Luxiere awkwardly looked the other way.

"I'll see you later?" Zack asked, a hand quickly traveling through a strand of blond hair.

"Yeah," Cloud whispered. He reluctantly pulled away from the contact, and Zack watched as he and his roommate left to join the rest of their squad.

* * *

><p>Days passed, and Zack barely saw Cloud at all. Tseng had suggested he train the 3rd class SOLDIERs for a bit while he recovered from his injuries. Since SOLDIER members didn't need as much instruction as the infantrymen did, and since Zack was getting ridiculously restless with nothing to do, he agreed. But, despite not wanting to admit it, Zack was still too sore to physically teach the techniques like he'd done with Cloud's group. Sometimes when he moved a certain way, his chest would hurt where he'd gotten hit, and he certainly didn't want it to show. He especially didn't want Cloud to know about it; the boy probably would have skipped more of his duties just to take care of him.<p>

At the moment, however, Zack was more worried about Cloud. He hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to him since he'd walked him back to his room several mornings ago. He'd seen him in the cafeteria a couple of times, but by the time Zack had gotten his food, Cloud had disappeared from sight. Zack convinced himself that Cloud was just busy, and that his never being around had nothing to do with him. After all, the last time he had worried about doing something to upset Cloud, it had really all been for nothing.

Still, it had been a long time since Cloud had showed up at his room, or even stopped to talk to him. And even if Cloud had a busy schedule this week, Zack had to at least see what he was up to. Five days was an awfully long time to be _Cloud-less_. Who could expect him to wait any longer than that?

And so, Zack showed up at Cloud and Luxiere's room early that evening. He hoped that maybe Cloud would want to go out for a bite to eat since their last date had been a let-down. When Luxiere opened the door, however, Zack's face fell slightly in disappointment.

"Hi. I was looking for Cloud, but by the look of it, he's not here."

"No, sorry, Mr. Fa— Zack. He's been booked solid all day with work," the infantryman said, shaking his head.

"All day? That's unusual, isn't it?"

"Not lately. You know, he's been on extra duty for almost a week now."

"Extra duty?" Zack asked, raising a brow.

"Yeah. The group leader assigned him to it because of all the work he missed." Luxiere paused a moment, and regarded a disgruntled-looking Zack. "He didn't tell you?"

"No," Zack said, after a minute. He stared at the door frame and leaned an arm against it. "He didn't say a word, and I haven't seen him in days."

"You sure you didn't forget?"

"No, he didn't _tell_ me. Maybe he didn't want me to know."

"I don't know, Zack. I'm really surprised he didn't tell you by now. I mean, we talked about it the other night, and I said maybe you could get him out of it. I could tell right away he wasn't crazy about that idea, but I thought he'd at least let you know he wasn't going to be around," Luxiere said.

"Maybe he doesn't trust me," Zack almost whispered, feeling his fist clench with the sting of that mere idea.

"I know that's not it."

Zack looked up at the other man, giving him a questioning glance.

"I don't know if I should be telling you this, but he loves you, Zack," Luxiere said, avoiding eye contact.

"W-what?" Zack asked softly, his expression curious. He was sure his heart had skipped a beat when those words reached his ears.

"That night when you came back from your mission, when he thought you were dead, he said it. He _cried_ it. I know Cloud can be a little hard to get through to sometimes, but don't think for a second that it isn't working between you two, because it _is_. He really does care for you, and it's nice to see him happy. I want the best for _both_ of you."

Zack blinked a few times as he let the words register. So, Cloud _did_ feel that way, even if he was still too shy to tell him. It was amazing to know that, but at the same time, he knew it would be so much different, so much better, when Cloud told him himself. And he knew Luxiere didn't always seem to act that warmly towards him, but in the end, he really did have respect for him. Zack spoke once he had regained his ability to do so.

"Thanks, Luxiere. I think I needed that."

"No, thank _you_. I feel bad for our conversation the other day. I might have been kind of harsh, and afterwards I realized something. You know what's important in your life, and you make it your priority. In the long run, this job at Shinra doesn't really mean anything, but your life with Cloud does."

"So, what you're saying is—?"

"You made me realize that I may have been missing out on things. Important things." Zack smiled, and put a gentle hand on the man's shoulder.

"You're alright, Luxiere!"

The infantryman chuckled.

"Thanks."

"So, do you know what time he'll be back?" Zack asked.

"I think he'll be back around eleven tonight."

"Is it okay if I take Cloud to my place tonight?"

"You're the SOLDIER here. You give _me_ the orders, remember?" Luxiere said, giving Zack an odd look.

"I know, but I don't like to. I feel like you really hate me for spending so much time with Cloud, and you seem to get uncomfortable whenever I'm around."

"Sorry, it's nothing personal. I just find it hard to look past rank. I don't know how Cloud does it."

"Rank? That's it?" Zack asked.

"That's it."

"SOLDIER is just a title. I told Cloud the same thing. Please, just treat me like we're on the same level, okay?" Zack asked, holding out his hand. Luxiere stared at him a minute, then smiled, and shook Zack's hand.

"You really are as nice as Cloud says."

"So, we're friends?" Zack asked, grinning. Luxiere returned the smile.

"We're friends."

* * *

><p>Cloud was exhausted and sore. Having extra duties took more out of him than he'd expected. Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised. He'd heard other people complain about it from time to time, but he hardly got a break. He'd gone to his regular morning training session, patrolled in Sector 8, ate lunch, went on a mission with a few other men, did an extra physical training session, patrolled again, ate supper, and was now back for a third round of patrol. And that was just today's work. Every day this week, he had been scrambling to tend to every bit of work he'd been assigned. It was getting to be a lot to handle.<p>

"Yo, I'll take it from here, little guy," a voice said, as Cloud paced around the Sector 8 fountain. The boy spun around and his eyes met with those of the red-haired Turk. The infantryman's eyebrow twitched a bit in disgust at being called _little_, but he answered in a calm voice.

"It's only ten-thirty."

"I know, but I can handle it. It's a quiet night. You can go home," Reno said, tapping Cloud's shoulder with his baton. Cloud stared at the ground for a minute.

"Will I get in trouble? I'm really supposed to be patrolling until eleven."

"If anyone gives you a hard time, tell 'em I let ya go early. They can come see me if they've got a problem. Besides, you look like you could collapse any second." Cloud blushed. Apparently he looked as bad as he felt.

"O-okay. I guess I'll go," he answered, reluctantly. Reno nodded, and watched as the poor kid practically dragged himself out of Sector 8. As soon as Cloud was out of earshot, Reno picked up his phone, and dialed quickly. He glanced around, making sure the boy wasn't coming back his way.

"Cissnei, I just had a thought. The blond kid who was with Zack at the party... Do you think he could have been involved in the attack?"

* * *

><p>Cloud made it back to Shinra, got a quick shower, and got back to his room to find out that Zack had been looking for him. He waited until eleven o'clock had rolled around, and before long, Zack showed up and they made their way back to the apartment. As soon as they made it to the other side of the apartment door, Cloud collapsed into Zack's arms.<p>

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Zack said, chuckling at Cloud's sign of affection.

Cloud mumbled a noise of agreement into Zack's chest. He had missed Zack so much during his five days away from him, and knew that spending the night in Zack's bed would beat the hell out of sleeping alone. Zack pulled him in a bit closer, and the cadet seemed to flinch in his arms.

"You okay?" Zack asked, loosening his grip.

"Oh, yeah," Cloud replied, breaking free of Zack's embrace and stretching his arms up in the air as he turned the other way. "Just tired."

_Tired from extra training?_ Zack wanted to ask, but decided against it. He went for another approach.

"Cloud, there's nothing you want to tell me, is there?"

Cloud spun around and looked at him in surprise for a moment, then shook his head.

"N-no. Why?"

"I'm just wondering. You would tell me if there was something going on, wouldn't you?"

"Zack..." Cloud tugged on the SOLDIER's shirt, pulling him in so that their lips met. Zack blinked, feeling pleasantly surprised. "You worry too much."

Zack smiled in response, currently forgetting that Cloud hadn't answered his question. Cloud's lips worked to distract him, just as the cadet had hoped they would.

"Come on. Can we—?" Cloud took Zack's hands in his own, and began leading him towards the bedroom. Zack allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed after Cloud.

Cloud's mind raced. He knew Zack was onto him; he could definitely sense he was hiding something. Yet, all Cloud wanted was to keep him from finding out. He had to keep Zack's head busy with other things.

"Zack, kiss me."

"What's up with you?" Zack asked, his brow furrowed in slight concern.

"Five days _is _a long time. Zack, please?"

The SOLDIER didn't need to be asked twice. Cloud lay down on his back while Zack situated himself to hover over him. He started with gentle kisses on Cloud's mouth, then moved to his jaw, massaging the skin between his lips while his hands worked to expose his partner's upper body: a routine that had become somewhat regular for them.

Once Cloud's scarf had been discarded on the floor, Zack moved his tongue to the boy's pale neck, and tasted him before his lips caressed their way to his chest. The two joined hands and Zack pulled Cloud up into a sitting position so he could completely rid him of his shirt. The older male continued to kiss him as he lowered him back down to the bed. By this time, Cloud had completely forgotten why he'd gotten Zack to start this in the first place. It just felt right.

Zack felt Cloud's free hand at his waist, attempting to undress him. The smaller man managed to unbuckle Zack's belt and suspenders, and quickly tossed them aside. Cloud unlaced his fingers from Zack's, and Zack shivered as a cold hand touched his stomach. He felt the boy lift his shirt up, and he removed his lips from Cloud's chest just long enough for Cloud to pull his shirt off over his head. The blond stroked Zack's naked abdomen while Zack worked his way down Cloud's front. He felt Cloud's hips buck against his throat as his lips reached his waistband, and they both hummed noises of delight.

"Cloud, is it okay if I—?"

"What are you gonna—?"

"Just tell me to stop if you need to."

Cloud nodded, and tried to relax. He lay his head back against the pillow, not allowing himself to watch what Zack was doing for fear of backing out.

Zack unzipped Cloud's pants, and slipped a hand into his boxers, causing Cloud to choke out his name as his fingers wrapped around him. Zack stroked the delicate skin, which earned a whimper from the boy beneath him. He kept one hand there, and started to remove Cloud's boxer shorts with the other. Zack felt the boy fidget, but since Cloud didn't voice any opposition, Zack continued to pull his pants and boxers down a bit further, just enough so that he could still work without making Cloud feel too exposed.

Cloud stared up at him, looking uncertain about what was going to happen next. He relaxed a little when Zack's lips met his again, comforted by the bit of known territory. As they kissed, Cloud felt Zack's hand wrap around him again, and he tried his best to keep quiet. He didn't want to sound too needy, after all.

Suppressing those sounds became more and more difficult as Zack continued to caress him. Obviously, Zack knew what he was doing. Cloud's mind was in a frenzy, trying to figure out why it had to feel so good, when the act itself was so damn awkward. Cloud debated whether or not they should continue. Zack certainly made it feel good, but something about the moment just wasn't right.

Cloud raised a hand and touched Zack's face, hoping to distract himself from the intense pleasure that he was feeling further down. It did little to help him. Cloud released a loud moan into Zack's mouth as the sensation in his groin grew stronger. Then it hit him. He knew why it felt wrong. With that, he broke the kiss.

"W-wait! Zack."

Zack started to panic when he felt Cloud start to push him away.

"I'm sorry," Zack said, frantically, and pulled his hands away.

"No, I'm sorry. I just— I don't feel right about this," Cloud said, biting his lip.

"Okay? Did I... do something wrong? Go too fast?" Zack started to pull the boy's pants up to their original position, hoping that would calm him. Cloud twitched a bit as Zack tried to cover up his still sensitive area.

"No, it's not that," Cloud said quietly, as Zack finished with his pants. Zack cocked his head to the side, and waited patiently for Cloud to speak again.

"I just don't think we should fool around... because I think our relationship means more than that," the blond almost whispered. There was silence for a moment, and when Cloud began to think he'd insulted Zack, he averted his gaze and felt his cheeks grow even pinker than they had been. Zack whispered his name, and Cloud looked up, uncertainly. Zack smiled softly, and lay down beside him. Zack took his hand in his own as he spoke.

"That's okay." Zack paused to kiss Cloud's hand. "We'll take our time."

"When we— I-if we make love, I'll be okay with that because it will mean something. But right now, I just—"

"Shh," Zack whispered. "It's okay. I know what you mean." Zack pulled the covers up over them, and held Cloud in his arms. Cloud's body was tense, but the boy was relieved just by knowing that Zack understood; maybe Zack didn't really feel the same way, but he at least understood.

The older boy twirled blond hair between his fingers, and started humming a tune that he thought would comfort his friend. He'd chosen well. Cloud was nearly asleep within minutes. Zack gave a quiet sigh. He knew Cloud had his quirks, and like Luxiere said, he wasn't always easy to get through to. In the end, though, he was glad that he was comfortable enough to be honest with him.

Zack glanced down at his drowsy friend, his eyes just barely open. Before he fell entirely into unconsciousness, however, Zack smiled, and gave a loving chuckle.

"Goodnight, buddy."

* * *

><p>Zack awoke before Cloud the next morning. He rolled over and felt his lips curve upwards as he watched the sleeping teen. Cloud's face was completely relaxed, free of all the tensions the world gave it when he was awake. Cloud was so innocent and pure, and Zack's stomach turned at the mere idea that he had almost taken that away from him last night.<p>

What Cloud had told him... surprised him in a way, but at the same time, he supposed he could understand why Cloud felt that way. So, Cloud didn't want them to fool around, or have sex unless it was of that certain kind. He wanted them to_ make love_, and Zack wanted that, too. It made sense that Cloud would want to stop him if he was uncomfortable with the way they were doing things.

Zack knew in all honesty that he had been getting more than a little desperate for more sexual contact with Cloud. That's why he'd almost done what he'd set out to do. He'd wanted to please Cloud, to touch him that way, to _know _him in that way. But at the same time, if Cloud thought it would be meaningless, and_ wrong_ of all things, then Zack couldn't bear to put him through it. Cloud was still young, after all, and perhaps he just needed more time.

One thing Zack loved about Cloud was the things he believed in. He never hesitated—well, maybe a bit, but he always managed to come forward—to let Zack know when he was uncomfortable, or when he needed more time. The fact that Cloud was willing to stand up for himself and admit those things was amazing, and Zack thought he was so strong for being able to do so. That precious blond had made it clear that their relationship meant a lot to him, and Zack wanted to keep it that way, even if that meant waiting a while longer for him.

The SOLDIER rolled onto his side and pulled his partner closer to him. Cloud let out a quiet, sleepy moan, and unconsciously nuzzled his head in against Zack's neck, which Zack thought was utterly adorable. He began running his fingers through Cloud's hair gently, hoping it would comfort him in his sleeping state. Zack darted a glance at the clock, and was dismayed to realize he had to wake the boy in his arms.

"Cloudy? It's morning, bud," Zack said, jostling him slightly when he didn't stir.

"Come on, you don't want to sleep all day. Then you won't get to see _me_," he teased. Cloud still didn't move.

"Cloud?" Zack asked, worry in his voice this time. "Sweetie, come on. Wake up!" Zack sat up and took the boy's shoulders, then shook him until he heard him whimper. Blue eyes opened only for a moment.

"I'm still tired," the boy mumbled. Zack felt relieved just by hearing him speak, but wasn't completely over his concern.

"I know, but don't you have training this morning?"

"Oh yeah," Cloud said, throwing himself into a sitting position. "Where's my shirt?"

Zack chuckled in amusement.

"Probably wherever I threw it when I undressed you last night," he grinned. Cloud shot him an irritated glance, and grabbed his shirt off the floor. He began doing his uniform back up as he found the pieces.

"If you're going to be busy today, I was thinking I might go visit Aerith in the slums. She's, uh, the girl I was _kind of_ dating before I started seeing you," Zack said, watching Cloud struggle with his clothing. When he saw how frustrated Cloud was getting, he got up and helped buckle up Cloud's suspenders—which Cloud thanked him for with an appreciative nod—while Cloud buttoned up his shirt.

"Okay," Cloud answered.

"Are you sure? I wanted to let you know in case you weren't comfortable with me hanging out with her."

"Yeah, that's fine." Cloud seemed to be answering absently, and Zack couldn't ignore it.

"Are you alright? You don't look well. You're awfully pale," the SOLDIER said, putting a hand to the boy's cheek.

"I'm okay. I've got to hurry," Cloud said, shrinking away from Zack's touch. He made his way to the door in the kitchen, and started lacing up his boots. Zack watched him intently.

"Look, I can excuse you from training this morning if you want to get a bit more sleep."

"I'm fine," Cloud shot back, defensively. Zack raised his arms, signaling to Cloud that he would back off.

"Okay, okay. Just... be careful, alright? Don't push yourself too hard," Zack said. He touched Cloud's shoulder gently when he stood up, and could have sworn he felt Cloud buckle beneath his hand.

"I will." Cloud gave Zack a quick peck on the cheek before slipping out of the apartment. He was glad he'd left when he did, as his legs were wobbling now as they carried him towards the elevator. Zack just stared at the closed door, and wished he could make the sick feeling in his stomach go away. Something was wrong with Cloud, and Cloud wasn't telling him what it was.

* * *

><p>Aerith was worried about Zack. The last couple of times she'd seen him, his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Today as they strolled the park and talked, Zack lacked his usual enthusiasm, and Aerith was getting the feeling that life at Shinra was harder than Zack had ever led her to believe.<p>

"What's bothering you today? Is it work?" she asked, after a long silence had interrupted their conversation. Zack motioned to the park bench, and they both sat down.

"No, it's a friend," he answered.

"The same friend you were fretting over before?"

"Uh, yeah." Zack leaned back on the bench and stared up at the plate above him. He wished he could see the sky. The sky made it easier to think.

"He didn't look so well this morning. I think he's been working too much."

"Hmm, doesn't sound too severe. Probably nothing some soup and a good night's rest won't fix," Aerith answered, smiling.

"Yeah, but he's so busy, he can't even get those things. The real problem is I'm not supposed to know he's on extra duty," Zack told her. He put a hand to his head, and closed his eyes.

"Why not?"

"He didn't want me to know. I only found out 'cause his roommate told me." Aerith put a hand on top of Zack's, the one that rested on his lap.

"Sounds complicated," she said. Zack shook his head, and lifted it up so that their eyes met.

"Ah, enough about me and my problems. Let's go do something fun." He jumped up off the bench, did a few squats, then smiled back at the girl on the bench.

"Okay," she laughed.

"You wanna go see LOVELESS? I think it's, like, the most popular play ever. The only thing is we have to go to Sector 8, which is above the plate. That okay?" Zack asked.

"Well, it doesn't _sound_ scary. You'll make sure the sky won't swallow me up, right?"

"I'll make sure," Zack laughed.

"Then let's go catch that train," Aerith smiled.

* * *

><p>Zack was feeling more positive now that he knew his mind would be cleared for a little while. The play would be a good distraction, just as the train ride was turning out to be.<p>

"I haven't been on the train in so long," Aerith said, as she stared out the window. "I never have anywhere to go."

"I guess I bring about all kinds of interesting experiences, huh?" Zack asked, throwing his hands behind his head, and resting on them.

"You _are_ fun to be around, Zack," the girl beamed. Zack was startled when his cellphone rang in his pocket. Aerith's expression saddened at the realization that their outing was probably about to be cut short; she was used to Zack's phone calls doing that.

"Hello?" the SOLDIER said, into the phone.

"Zack, where are you, man? I've been looking all over for you," Kunsel responded, sounding stressed and breathless.

"I'm with Aerith. Is something wrong?"

"He passed out cold during training. I saw it with my own eyes. They took him to the medics' wing, but I really think you should get back here." Kunsel was rambling on so fast that Zack was amazed he could even make out what he was saying.

"Who? Who passed out?" Zack asked.

"Cloud." The phone seemed to turn to ice in Zack's hand, and he struggled to find the power to speak again.

"I'll be right there." Zack snapped the phone shut, and Aerith looked at him with concern.

"I'm sorry, but we're going to have to postpone this," he said. Aerith nodded, solemnly.

"It's okay. Your friend is in trouble, isn't he?" she asked, though she was almost afraid to.

"Yeah," was the extent of Zack's reply.

They were both thankful that the train ride was a short one. Zack's face was scrunched up with worry, and Aerith decided to remain quiet for the rest of the trip.

"Will you just get the train back?" Zack asked, when he felt the vehicle slowing down.

"Yeah, I'll do that. I hope he's okay, Zack," she said, quietly. Zack stood up, and gave her a thankful half-smile.

"I hope so, too," he said, before stepping onto the platform. He broke into a sprint and headed towards the Shinra building, hardly remembering to tell his legs to move. All he knew was that Cloud was in trouble, and he needed to get to him as fast as his body would allow.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey, everybody! I'm so glad to get this chapter up. It's midterm week for me, so editing this was kind of like my break. Anyway, Cloud sure likes to test Zack's patience, doesn't he? haha. Just kidding. Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! It makes all the numerous hours of editing that much more worth it. So, what's wrong with Cloud, I wonder... Guess you'll all just have to keep reading! Thanks readers! Thanks to my beta as well for helping with this chapter and putting up with my craziness.


	15. Chapter 15

Zack had been sitting in the colourless room and staring at the closed door for so long that he feared he was beginning to suffer from eye strain. The minute he had made it to the medics' wing, he had been shooed away by a doctor and forced to wait outside without catching so much as a glimpse of Cloud. He wished he had at least seen him. He needed to know what was wrong, and to hold him in his arms until he was convinced he was okay.

A sigh of defeat left Zack's lips as he leaned his head back. He thought for a second that he might as well leave and come back in a while when the doctors had finished their work, but the thought of Cloud waking up and wanting him nearby was reason enough to keep enduring the painful process of waiting. He closed his eyes and eventually dozed off, though he didn't know for how long. His eyes snapped open again as soon as he heard the click of the door opening.

"Cloud! Is he okay? Can I see him now?" Zack asked, getting up from his seat and nearly knocking the doctor backwards.

"He's just waking up. We don't normally allow visitors. Do you have some connection to him?" the other man asked. Ideas whirred around rapidly in Zack's head. There was no way he could pass for Cloud's brother, and he couldn't admit to their relationship knowing Cloud wouldn't want him to.

"I'm one of his commanders. 1st class SOLDIER, Zack," he said. "I feel I have a responsibility to make sure he's alright."

"I guess I can't really stop a member of SOLDIER," the doctor said, shrugging his shoulders. He outstretched his arm and held the door open for Zack, watching as the spiky-haired man hurried inside.

Cloud was the only patient in the room. His eyes were closed and his pale face was almost an identical shade to the white bedsheets.

"Cloud? I'm here," Zack said, as he approached the bed and sat down on it. Blue eyes appeared from beneath heavy lids at the sound of Zack's voice.

"Zack... Please, stay." Cloud's voice was weaker than both of them would have liked.

"Of course." Zack wanted to take Cloud's hand, but was certain the doctor standing behind him would not see the gesture as merely a friendly one. He gently touched Cloud's shoulder instead, then turned to the doctor.

"What's wrong with him?" Zack's voice was firm, indicating that he wanted the straight-out truth. The older man cleared his throat, and took a couple of strides forward until he'd reached the head of the bed. Cloud started shaking his head, his eyes closed again.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong," he whispered. Zack watched him in concern, then drew his eyes back to the doctor.

"Actually, I've never seen any condition quite like this. Before you start to worry, it doesn't seem to be life-threatening," the doctor explained to both of them. "Cloud, you get tired and sore easily when you're fighting hard, don't you?"

"No, no, please," the blond uttered. He was holding his head, as if trying to block out what he was about to hear.

"The conclusion that I, with the help of other specialists here, have come up with is that Cloud has more physical strength than his body is capable of handling," the man said, adjusting the clipboard that was tucked underneath his arm.

"What does that mean?" Zack asked.

"Just what his symptoms show. Over-exhaustion leads to pain, weakness, and this time it caused him to eventually faint."

"I'm fine," Cloud muttered, trying to sit up, but failing. "I just have to rest, and then I'll go back to work, and everything will be fine."

"Cloud," Zack said, softly.

"I think you should take a bit of time off work, actually," the doctor told the boy.

"I can't. I can't miss any more time. I need to keep working so I can join SOLDIER."

The doctor was silent for a moment before he responded, shifting his weight from foot to foot in obvious discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Cloud, but with this condition, I don't believe becoming a SOLDIER is a wise, or even a possible, decision."

Cloud's jaw dropped, and he felt his stomach become uncomfortable with a sudden tightness. He pushed himself to sit up, succeeding this time, and stared at the doctor with an emotion Zack couldn't even describe. It was full of loathing, pain, and sadness, but it was hard to pinpoint which one stood out the most. Cloud's dream had been taken from him in one fell swoop, and Zack himself felt sick with that same realization.

"But... I have to. I have to make it to SOLDIER," the infantryman stated, a hard tone in his voice.

"You've been dealing with this condition for years, haven't you, Cloud? You should know by now how it affects you," the doctor said.

"Years?" Zack demanded. He quieted his voice down when he saw Cloud's eyes beg him for forgiveness. "Y-you never said anything," he said, his voice quavering.

"I'm sorry, Zack," Cloud whispered, his eyes nowhere near his partner's.

"What was it that caused you to pass out today, Cloud?" the doctor asked.

"I was training. Only I-I didn't get enough sleep last night, and—"

"You've been on extra duty for a week now," Zack finished, watching as Cloud fidgeted under his gaze.

"How did you find out?"

"Does it really matter?"

The doctor could feel the discussion heating up, and Zack suddenly realized how uncomfortable he looked.

"Sorry, could you give us a minute?" Zack asked. The man looked slightly relieved.

"Of course. Just call me when you're ready," he said, making his way to the door, and closing it behind him. The two remaining men were silent for a moment, then Zack spoke in a soft voice.

"Why didn't you tell me, Cloud? You never said anything about the extra duties or that you've always had this condition holding you back. And I can't help but wonder... Did you not think you could trust me?"

"No, Zack. It's not that."

Silence fell upon them again while they both tried to settle down a bit and organize what they wanted to say.

"It's just that— Well, there are a lot of reasons why I didn't tell you, but that's not one of them," Cloud said, in obvious desperation. Zack's voice was still soft when he spoke again.

"Then, please, talk to me, love." Zack ran a gentle hand through a strand of blond hair that bordered Cloud's face, and Cloud quickly succumbed to Zack's words. He closed his eyes to prevent tears, and focused on the hand at the side of his face, calming him and letting him know it was alright.

"I didn't want to tell you about the extra duty because Luxiere said you could probably excuse me from it, and I thought it might look weird to everyone else. I didn't want the other cadets to think you favoured me over them, and, well, I was afraid it might hint at our relationship."

Zack's face was wrinkled up in a sad expression as he watched the boy speak.

"Besides, I didn't want you to think I was too weak to handle the extra work," the blond said, keeping his eyes on the blanket, but taking comfort in the fact that Zack was still stroking his cheek even after what he'd just told him.

"So, you were embarrassed?"

"Yeah, and afraid," Cloud answered.

"And what about your condition? Why didn't you tell me about that?"

"Do you remember when you first got back from that mission after Angeal's death? And we went to the fountain together?" the blond asked. Zack nodded.

"I told you that my father left when I was young. Now you know why."

Zack stared at Cloud in shock for a minute.

"He left because you were sick?"

"Well, we didn't know I was sick. Getting weak was just something that happened whenever I played too rough with the other kids, or ran too far or too fast. Most kids avoided me. I always felt my father was ashamed of me," Cloud explained.

His eyes were closed again, and Zack could see how much pain it was causing him just to tell him this. Zack wished he knew what to say, or at least wished he could relate to what Cloud was going through, but he was lost on both accounts. He'd never felt isolated like Cloud had, and his parents had certainly never disapproved of him.

"You don't know that. His leaving probably had nothing to do with you," the SOLDIER said, after a moment of thought.

"It did. My mom tried to convince me otherwise, but I know I'm the reason he left." Cloud fought to prevent a sob, but it escaped and was followed by a few more.

"I'm sorry, Zack. I'm so, so sorry," he cried, as he collapsed against the older man. Zack pulled him in against his chest and rocked him.

"I'm not mad, sweetie. Why are you crying so hard?"

"I've... never told anyone about that before. And I've been keeping so much from you. It's just so hard." Cloud's body shook as more quiet sobs escaped him. Zack rubbed his back and whispered calming words to him while he cried. When Cloud's shaking stopped, Zack spoke, yet continued to hold the boy close.

"You were afraid I'd leave you, weren't you?"

"Yes and no," Cloud answered, quietly, his head pressed up against Zack's chest. "I knew all along how much you cared about me, and I knew you wouldn't stop caring about me even if I was different from everyone else. But another part of me was still scared that you would leave. After what my father did, it didn't seem so impossible."

"I would _never_ leave. Listen, I want you to promise me something," Zack said. Cloud brought his head up and his eyes finally met with Zack's.

"Promise me that if something is bothering you, you won't be afraid to tell me. Being in a relationship means you don't always have to deal with things alone, Cloud. I'll fight alongside you whenever things get tough. So, please, promise."

"I promise," Cloud whispered.

"Good." Zack kissed Cloud's forehead, then stood up. "I love you. Don't forget that." Cloud nodded and showed the faintest hint of a smile.

"I'm gonna go have a word with the doctor. I'm gonna see about having you stay with me until you're better."

Zack smiled at him, and at the sound of those words, Cloud's small smile grew ever so slightly as well.

* * *

><p>Cloud received a medical note that afternoon, excusing him from duties until further notice. Cloud wasn't exactly pleased about it, but he couldn't complain about staying with Zack. The doctor had given Zack two specific, yet simple, instructions: use ice on the sore muscles, and make sure Cloud got enough rest.<p>

They went to Cloud's room first to get Luxiere up to date on what had happened, and to gather up the belongings that Cloud would need during his stay on the SOLDIER floor. When they got to the apartment, Zack got Cloud settled on the couch, and by the time he had finished making sandwiches for them, the boy had fallen asleep. Zack sighed, and gave a light chuckle at the sight before him, then made his way back to the kitchen to eat his lunch by himself.

His mind started drifting back, way back. Cloud had been so happy when they'd first met: his cold, reddened cheeks frozen into a smile. That's when he'd told him his dream.

_"So, why did you leave your home in Nibelheim to come all the way to Midgar? I mean, why__ did you want to travel so far?" Zack asked. He glanced back at Tseng and the other infantryman who were several feet behind him and his new friend._

"_To work at Shinra. There are good jobs there, right?" Cloud stated, more than asked._

"_Yeah, I guess. You didn't have any particular job in mind?"_

"_Well, actually—" Zack turned to the boy when he stopped talking. He raised his hands in the air in question._

"_What? What is it?"_

"_I wanted to join SOLDIER," Cloud answered, his cheeks turning a little redder than they already were._

"_SOLDIER, huh?"_

"_I know it's silly. I probably can't do it."_

"_It's not silly. That was my plan, too, when I decided to work at Shinra," Zack told him._

"_But, you actually made it to SOLDIER."_

"_And you can, too. Oh, I know. I'll help you! I'll train you, encourage you, whatever it takes! What do you say?" Zack asked, the excitement getting to him already. Cloud chuckled as the older man repeatedly punched his fist gently into his other hand._

"_I'd really appreciate that, Zack."_

"_Don't worry. I won't let you down," Zack grinned._

Zack practically dropped his sandwich onto his plate and lay his forehead in his palm. His eyes were tightly closed, and he tried not to cry, tried not to hate himself as the reality sank in. Cloud wasn't physically capable of becoming SOLDIER, which meant he'd failed at helping him reach his goal. That boy was his life, his everything, and right now he felt so useless because he could do nothing to make things better.

He gave up on eating after a few minutes of staring at his plate with the half-eaten sandwich on it, and walked over to the couch. He sat down beside the smaller body—Cloud was curled up and taking up only about half of the sofa—and took one of the slender gloved hands into his own. In a few nimble movements, Zack removed the glove, and brought the bare hand to his cheek. It was smooth and warm, and he wished Cloud knew how much comfort it brought him. He wanted Cloud to know how much it meant to him to have him in his life, how much it would _always_ mean to him. Zack needed to reassure him, now more than ever, that even if the whole world turned its back on him, he would still be there loving him relentlessly.

Zack soon stopped caressing the gentle hand against his face, and instead brought his lips to the hand, and ran them along the creamy-white skin. He placed slow, soft kisses on the back of the hand, then proceeded to kiss each individual lithe finger until he heard a quiet hum.

"Mmm... Zack."

The SOLDIER looked down at the boy's still motionless body, confirming that he was indeed still sleeping. A small smile crept onto Zack's face. Cloud's life was precious, and he no longer cared how powerless he felt at the moment; he _would_ find a way to help him.

* * *

><p>Tseng regarded the red-haired Turk, a pensive look on his face. Reno started to fidget when he realized that his leader didn't seem to agree with his speculation.<p>

"No, I don't think Strife is involved. He and Zack met on a mission in Modeoheim, on which I also accompanied them," Tseng explained.

"And?"

"They've been practically inseparable ever since. The best of friends. I'm not the only one who has noticed. I had Cissnei keep an eye on Zack as well, even more so after that attack. I just don't believe the boy would want to hurt Zack in any way." Both men were silent as Reno pondered over the information.

"Okay, it was just a thought. I have a question, though," Reno said, closing in on Tseng's desk. He kept his voice low this time when he spoke.

"Do you believe the attacker, or attackers, are within Shinra?"

Tseng closed his eyes for a long moment, then opened them again.

"Yes."

"But who would want to do that?" Reno asked, his stomach feeling like it was tied in knots.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that we have to keep our guard up. Until we know who is behind the attacks, and what their motives are, all of the company's employees are potentially at risk."

"So, should we warn everyone?"

"How can we? The attacker would know, and everyone else would be in a panic. You know the president likes to keep things hush-hush all the time," Tseng said, standing up from his desk.

"Yeah, I know."

"And that's the way we're going to keep it."

* * *

><p>"Hey, how is he?" Kunsel asked, when Zack arrived at his apartment.<p>

He held the door open, and allowed his friend to enter. Zack slipped his boots off, and they both sat down at the kitchen table. Kunsel's apartment was quite similar to Zack's, but was significantly smaller. The place was also messier, probably because the 2nd spent so much of his time out collecting the latest news that he rarely had time to clean.

"He's okay," Zack said, once he had settled in and arranged his thoughts. "He's at my place right now, sleeping."

"That's probably best, huh?" Kunsel asked.

"I guess so." Zack paused, and his friend could tell that he was troubled. "Thanks for letting me know, by the way."

"No problem. I was just passing by, watching them train, and he just collapsed, like I said. Do you know what was wrong with him?"

"He's... Well, the way I understand it is that his body is weaker than it should be. He's really strong, but his body can't handle it," Zack said, keeping his eyes focused on the center of the table.

"So, it's... permanent?" Kunsel asked, instantly regretting the question when it looked like it hit Zack hard.

"Y-yeah, I guess it is," Zack answered, quietly. "Please, don't tell anyone?"

"I won't."

They were both silent for a moment, and Kunsel felt he needed to come clean. He couldn't say he liked keeping secrets from his best friend, even when they involved him.

"Zack, I have to tell you something." Zack looked up, and waited for what was to come. "I know about you and Cloud."

Zack was enthralled by a moment of panic, but he forced himself to at least appear calm while he clarified what that announcement entailed.

"What do you mean?"

"You two are involved, aren't you? Like, romantically?" Kunsel offered.

"How did you find out?" Zack asked, once he had recovered from the well-disguised shock.

"I saw you two on your trip back from the SOLDIER bath. You guys sure took your time in there," the 2nd gave a light chuckle. Zack waited in silence for another moment, as he tried to ignore the awkwardness of Kunsel's comment.

"I know it's weird, but... I really love him. I've never felt so protective of anyone before, or felt this deeply connected." Kunsel watched as Zack spoke, and the emotion in his face when he talked about the boy was so serene. The 1st gave a half-hearted laugh when he realized he'd probably said too much.

"You probably didn't need to know that. Y-you don't have hidden cameras in here or anything, do you?" he asked. Kunsel chuckled.

"No, don't worry. Although this _would_ make me the true king of gossip if I were to distribute this snippet of info, I wouldn't do that to you, Zack. You're too good a friend."

"Thanks. I just... I wish there was something I could do for him. A cure or something."

The gears started turning in Kunsel's brain. Helping Cloud meant helping Zack, and he was all for that. Out of the blue—and what could have been considered a miracle—an idea hit him.

"Oh, Zack, I know! What about mako injections?"

"Injections? Why?" Zack asked, not fully understanding.

"It makes the body stronger, right? It enhances humans, helps us become SOLDIER. Maybe it would work on Cloud." Zack felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest, and he inhaled, feeling much lighter.

"You're right. That might work!" Zack practically jumped up from the table. "Ah, Kunsel, I owe you one. Man, I could hug you right now!" he said, rushing to Kunsel's side of the table, and throwing an arm around his neck. Kunsel laughed and shrugged his arm away.

"Save it for the boyfriend, okay?" he grinned. Zack laughed as well.

"Okay. Thanks a bunch, though."

"It's alright. I admire that love you have for him. Determined to do anything for him. I like that," Kunsel said.

"Aw, you don't have to make fun," Zack said, folding his arms and pouting.

"I wasn't," Kunsel answered, sincerely. Zack stared at him a moment and smiled.

"Thanks. For everything."

* * *

><p>Cloud awoke, and a sudden emptiness set in when he realized he was alone in the apartment. He glanced at the coffee table beside him, and grabbed the handwritten note that was lying on top of it.<p>

_Be back soon, I promise. _

_Love, Zack_

Cloud clutched the note to his chest, as if it helped him feel closer to the man who had written it. At the moment, Cloud was unsure of how he should feel. Having Zack know the truth about his condition certainly took a load off his mind, but he didn't want Zack to be dwelling on it. Zack didn't deserve to be sad for his sake.

Cloud closed his eyes and wondered why the two of them couldn't have a perfect life together. A life away from Shinra with just the two of them, in a house of their own, with nothing but happiness.

"There's my boy." Cloud sat up and turned his head to see Zack coming in the door.

"Zack, where did you go?" Zack kicked off his boots and made his way over to the couch and sat down.

"I went to Kunsel's for a few minutes. Sorry, I just wanted to talk to him for a bit."

"It's okay. I guess I just don't want to be alone right now," Cloud said. That was when Zack noticed the note that Cloud was still clenching against him. Zack placed a hand on the blond's, and Cloud loosened his grip on the paper.

"You're not alone. I'm here now." Zack leaned in, rubbing their noses together before he gently pressed his lips to Cloud's, but was disappointed when it didn't bring a smile to the blond's face. He debated whether or not he should tell the boy about the possible cure, but decided he would wait until he spoke with the doctor. No need to get Cloud's hopes up if it turned out the injections wouldn't work.

"Why are you so sad? We're going to get through this, okay?" Zack said, brushing Cloud's spikes with his hand.

"Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you hold me?" Cloud asked, his eyes pleading with him. Zack didn't need any further convincing. He readjusted himself on the couch beside the blond, who moved in close against him. Cloud rested his head on Zack's shoulder as the elder male enveloped him in an embrace.

They stayed like long enough that they eventually lost track of time. They said nothing. They merely listened to the sound of each other's breathing, and the beating of each other's hearts. Zack felt good knowing he was bringing comfort to the boy in his arms, and he hoped Cloud could feel—just in that embrace alone—how much he was loved. But those feelings were there for both of them; Cloud knew how he felt about Zack, and he realized as he sat there in those warm arms that it wouldn't be too long before he was ready to say it.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry I'm a little late with this chapter. After a really busy week, yesterday was the first chance I got to really edit this chapter well. So, I only just finished the final revisions. Don't I get points for polishing it up? A well-edited chapter is better than a rushed one, right? haha. Anyway, I'm so pleased with all the reviews I've been getting, and thanks to new readers as well! Of course, thank you to those of you who have been reviewing every week. That's so awesome!

I'm really hoping that you don't think Cloud's troubles are too lame. Don't worry, they're important for the plot, and they'll eventually tie in with later events. You'll see. Anyway, I have no classes this week, so chapter 16 should be up on time. I won't make promises, but I will certainly try! Until next week!


	16. Chapter 16

Zack yawned and gazed out the window, the bright sunlight warming his skin as he lay in bed, trying to shake off the last of his sleepiness. Today was going to be a good day; he felt sure of it. They would go to the doctor, see about the mako injections, and Cloud would instantly go back to being in a good mood. At least, Zack hoped he would.

"G'morning, beautiful," Zack murmured, when he felt the blond beside him start to awaken from his slumber. Cloud let out a sleepy laugh.

"You shouldn't talk to yourself like that, Zack. It's creepy," Cloud teased, his arm slung over his eyes to protect them from the light coming in the window.

"Hey, I'm not talking about me!"

Zack rolled over so that he was propped up on one elbow, hovering over the boy. He captured Cloud's lips briefly, which somewhat startled Cloud since his eyes were still covered. Cloud lifted his arm off his head and gazed up into those mako blue eyes that always seemed to make him feel safe. He couldn't explain why they did, but hell, he had long ago stopped trying to explain a lot of things that Zack made him feel.

"I know. I guess I'm still not used to being referred to as beautiful. That's all," Cloud answered.

"You should be," Zack said, pausing to kiss Cloud's neck. "Because you are."

"Isn't it kind of early in the morning for kissing?"

"It's never too early."

Cloud lay still as Zack ran his lips along his neck, placing tender, gentle kisses down the side, then up towards his adam's apple. Cloud didn't exactly remember how both of them had lost their shirts the night before, but he wished he knew where his was. Or, he at least wished it somewhat; being with Zack in this way was kind of nice, but he did feel a little exposed.

"Zack?" the boy asked, after a quiet moment of Zack kissing him.

"Mm?"

"Do you ever wish that—" Cloud had intended to finish the sentence, but couldn't find the right words.

"Wish what?" Zack asked. He brought his head up and watched Cloud's face as he tried to organize what he wanted to say.

"Well, that I would do these kinds of things to you?" Zack wasn't surprised when Cloud's white cheeks turned pink.

"What? Like kiss me?"

"Not just kiss. I mean, the way you do it. It's... romantic and stuff," Cloud said, shifting awkwardly beneath Zack.

"Romantic? I think there are other words for that too," Zack smirked.

"Y-yeah, but I don't want to get into that. And, you didn't answer the question." Cloud stared at the man above him for a long time, and Zack finally sighed.

"Okay, listen. I guess it would be a lie if I said I wouldn't like you to. But, you've got to understand that it would have to be for the right reasons," the SOLDIER said.

"What reasons?"

"Well, I wouldn't want you kissing me like that unless you felt right about it, and unless you wanted to. I wouldn't want you to do it just so you could pay me back or something."

"Oh. I see," Cloud said, in a quiet voice. "B-but you would like it?" he peeped after a minute. Zack brushed a hand through the boy's messy blond hair.

"If those conditions were met, yeah." Cloud seemed to be satisfied with that answer, so Zack went back to work on his neck.

Zack felt like he was learning so much about Cloud, like he was getting somewhere with him. Cloud had really opened up to him lately, and Zack found that more than ever, he wanted to know everything about him, to share everything he could with him. He figured they would have lots of time to experience everything they wanted to, but in this crazy world, who could be sure? Who really knew how much time they had?

Cloud released a tiny moan when Zack reached the crook of his neck. Zack stopped and looked up at him.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah. Felt good," Cloud answered. The SOLDIER lowered his head to the soft skin once again, and smiled as he placed a few more kisses there.

"Hey, Cloud, we need to get a move on," Zack said, popping his head up.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, as Zack started to untangle himself from the covers.

"We need to get you back to the medics' wing. Oh, and we need to ice those sore muscles before we do."

"Why do we need to go back so soon? We were there yesterday."

"Because. We need to see about something," Zack said, tossing Cloud his shirt that had been abandoned on the floor hours ago.

"About what?"

"Don't worry about it. Consider it a surprise."

"Zack, I don't mean to be rude, but going to the doctor for a surprise doesn't sound like a good thing," Cloud said, trying not to stare as Zack pulled a shirt over his toned torso.

"Yeah, I know. Keep in mind that it might not work, but you shouldn't give up hope yet." Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but Zack held up a hand to silence him.

"No questions. Just get ready, and we'll figure it all out when we get there, okay?"

* * *

><p>After dressing, eating, and putting ice on Cloud's muscles for a bit, they headed down to the medics' wing, despite Cloud's hesitation. The look on the doctor's face when they walked into the waiting room told Cloud that he hadn't been expecting them.<p>

"Is something wrong? Symptoms getting worse?" he asked.

"No, I was just wondering if we could get another appointment. I'd like to talk to you about something," Zack answered, and wished the doctor hadn't eyed him so strangely when he'd said _we_.

"I'll take this patient first, then I'll try to squeeze you in," the doctor said, glancing at his chart, then waving another man into his office. The door closed behind him, leaving Cloud and Zack alone in the waiting room. Zack was glad to be on the same side of the closed door as Cloud this time around.

"Zack, will you please tell me what's going on?" Cloud asked, looking the older man in the eyes, and hoping his pleading would work. Luckily for Cloud, Zack couldn't keep secrets when he was looking at him that way.

"Okay." Zack gently touched Cloud's shoulder. "I'm going to ask him if mako treatment would help you."

"Mako?"

"Yeah. SOLDIER members get infused with mako in order to become stronger. I was thinking it might help your body to get stronger. Of course, it might not be healthy for you to take in a lot of mako at once, so they might just give you a bit," Zack said.

"Why do you want to do this?" Cloud asked, and Zack was surprised when his tone sounded dark.

"Why?" Zack repeated. "To make you better."

"Better," Cloud mumbled, and Zack clued in.

"No, Cloudy, I don't care one bit that you have this condition. I only wanted to suggest this because I thought it would make _you_ happier," Zack said, trying to look at Cloud who was keeping his head down. Zack succeeded in catching his eye, and in that one look, Cloud was reassured that Zack meant what he'd said.

"Thank you," Cloud murmured. "For looking out for me."

"Don't worry. I always will."

* * *

><p>Zack followed Cloud into the office when Cloud's name was called. The doctor motioned for Cloud to sit down on the bed, which he did, then he turned his attention to the SOLDIER.<p>

"What is it you wanted?" he asked.

Zack explained his idea—or rather Kunsel's idea—to the doctor, who looked to be drinking up every word, and thinking hard about it. When Zack finished, the doctor stared at Cloud for a long while, a hand at his chin.

"We could certainly try it. I can't guarantee that it will be a perfect remedy, or even that it will have any effect at all. But I don't think there's any harm in trying it," the doctor said. "You haven't had any mako before, have you, Cloud?"

"No," the blond answered, shaking his head.

"We can try a small dose of it right now, if you'd like," the doctor suggested. Cloud looked at Zack for an opinion. Zack shrugged his shoulders.

"I... guess so," Cloud answered. The eldest man nodded, and rummaged through his desk until he found the particular paper he was searching for and handed it to Cloud.

"You'll need to sign this consent form," he said.

Cloud took the paper and read it over, willing to take risks if it there was a possibility of getting better. He returned the form to the doctor once he'd signed his name, and the man headed towards the counter to prepare the needle. Cloud felt squeamish at the thought, but Zack flashed him an encouraging smile, and he felt slightly better.

"Just keep in mind that mako is intended for SOLDIER. It's designed to boost physical and body strength. Hopefully, this will balance your out strengths and weaknesses to some degree, Cloud," the man said. Cloud closed his eyes while the doctor inserted and removed the needle.

"There. That's a very small dose, just so your body can get used to it. Come back every second day and I'll give you a bit more," the doctor said, putting a bandage on Cloud's arm.

"You might want to keep an eye on him in case there are any side-effects. There shouldn't be any, but it doesn't hurt to be cautious," he added, turning to Zack, who nodded in return.

Cloud scooted off the bed, and made his way towards Zack.

"See you in a couple of days, then," the blond said.

"Yes, see you," the doctor answered, watching as the two men left the office.

* * *

><p>"Can we sit for a sec?" Cloud asked. They had only made it a little ways past the waiting room by this point. Zack stopped walking immediately, and turned to the cadet beside him.<p>

"Sure. You're not feeling well?" Zack asked, as he helped Cloud sit down on one of the benches that lined the hallway.

"Not really. I don't do so well with needles," the blond answered, his body trembling. He wrapped his arms around himself, and rubbed his arms with his hands. Zack wasn't sure if he should be ready to catch him in case he fainted, or running to get a bucket.

"Yeah, they're not so fun. Try to think about something else. Like cotton-candy, or ice cream—"

"No, not food."

"Oh, okay. Um, think of me," Zack grinned. Cloud was silent for a long moment, his head in his hands. He had been starting to see spots, but keeping his head down was helping.

"Cloud?"

"I'll be okay," the blond replied, and raised his head after another minute.

"Want me to carry you back?" Zack asked.

"It'll look weird," Cloud answered, his voice sounding strained.

"Not if you're unconscious," Zack joked. Cloud shot him a frustrated look, then tried to stand up.

"I'll be fine," he said. Zack helped him get up, and gave him his arm to hold on to.

"So, what would look weirder? You holding on to my arm, or me carrying you?" the SOLDIER asked. "Do I look sick?" Cloud looked up so Zack could analyze him.

"Uh, yeah. You're pretty pale," he answered.

"Then holding on to you shouldn't look too weird. I'll stick with option number one."

* * *

><p>Cloud was still a bit shaky when they got to the apartment, but was feeling slightly better by the time they arrived. When they got in the door, Zack slung Cloud over his shoulder—not without some whining and protesting from the boy—and planted him on the couch.<p>

"Don't move," he ordered.

Cloud smiled once Zack had walked away, secretly finding Zack's caring for him quite adorable. The SOLDIER returned a moment later with his arms full of supplies. He spread a blanket over Cloud's body, placed a bucket beside the couch, turned on the TV, and handed him an ice pack.

"You should be okay now, right?" Zack asked, hands on his hips.

"Should be," Cloud answered, situating the ice pack on his sore shoulder.

"What do you want for lunch? I'll make you anything you want."

"Ugh, I'm not so hungry right now. I could go for some cold juice, though."

"Coming right up," Zack smiled, snapping his fingers, and returning to the kitchen. Cloud listened to Zack rummaging around in the fridge, and smiled when he came back with his glass, a lime green straw sticking out of the top.

"I tried to make it fancy since you're not feeling well," he said, sitting down beside Cloud and handing him the juice.

"Thanks, Zack." The blond took a sip of the drink, then placed it on the coffee table. Cloud rolled onto his back, and pulled the blanket up higher on himself.

"Are you doing any better?" Zack asked, rubbing Cloud's stomach through the blanket.

"I'm alright."

Silence took over for a moment as their attention was taken by the T.V.

"Zack?" Cloud said, after a minute.

"Yeah?"

"I know it sounds silly, but these past couple of months with you have been some of the happiest times of my life." Zack brought his eyes back to the boy, and for a moment he was shocked, then he smiled.

"What brought that on all of a sudden?"

"It's not really sudden. I... I'm always thinking about it. Every time I think being with you can't get any better, it does," Cloud said. He blushed when he realized how intently Zack was watching him.

"I'm sorry, it's really embarrassing."

"No, go on, please. How does it keep getting better?" Zack asked, encouraging him to continue.

"I don't know. Things you say, things you do. I've never been loved this way by anyone before, and I... I never want it to stop," Cloud finished, his eyes meeting Zack's and locking.

"Neither do I." Zack leaned in and kissed Cloud, who eagerly kissed back. That kiss was followed by another, and both men made noises of disapproval when they heard a knock on the door.

"I'll be right back, okay? Keep that ice on your shoulder," Zack said, heading towards the apartment entrance.

"Yes, Sir," Cloud laughed.

Zack opened the door to reveal a tense-looking Kunsel.

"Hey, what's up?" the 1st asked, somewhat nervous to hear the answer, especially when the over-talkative Kunsel seemed hesitant to speak.

"There's been another attack. A 2nd class SOLDIER this time." Kunsel folded his arms, his brows furrowed. Zack felt his good mood start to slip away, as well as his smile.

"Do the Turks know?" Zack then realized what a silly question that had been. Of course, they knew; the Turks knew everything.

"They're investigating."

"And the SOLDIER?"

"Dead," Kunsel stated. "You were lucky, Zack," he added, when Zack seemed to be frozen on the spot.

"I guess so."

Kunsel peeked around the corner when he heard movement from further inside the apartment.

"It's Cloud," Zack explained.

"Oh, don't let me interrupt," Kunsel said quickly, waving his arms. Cloud whipped his head around the side of the couch, glancing between Zack and the helmeted 2nd.

"It's okay. He knows," Zack said, when he saw Cloud's shocked look. The blond snuggled back into the blanket after that, though not totally impressed that yet another person knew about them.

"This attack. Where did it happen?" Zack asked, turning his attention back to Kunsel.

"North Corel. The guy was on a mission with a couple of infantrymen."

"That's nowhere near where I was attacked. Do you think they're related?"

"Don't know. I think that's what the Turks are trying to figure out. The guy was attacked the same way you were. Shot," Kunsel told him.

"How did you find out all this stuff?"

"Um, do you remember who you're talking to?"

"R-right. So, the SOLDIER was the only one who was attacked?" Zack asked.

"As far as I know. Here's the creepy part. The guy was killed just outside North Corel, and the other men followed the trail of blood and footprints until they found him, but they were almost to Nibelheim by that point. Someone was trying to take him somewhere and dragged him there."

"I don't like the sounds of that," Zack said, folding his arms.

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to give you the heads up in case you're heading out on any more missions. You should know what you're up against."

"I know all this stuff, and I _still_ don't know what I'm up against," Zack said, sounding helpless.

"Sorry, man."

"It's okay. I'm still taking a break since I got hurt, but I suppose it won't be long before I head out again. I was actually going to talk to Tseng about it this week."

"Well, if you do, be careful," Kunsel said.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks."

"Bye, Cloud," the 2nd called.

"Bye," the blond answered.

Zack closed the door as Kunsel walked away, and he returned to his position on the couch.

"You're going on more missions?" Cloud asked. The nervous look on Cloud's face made Zack feel guilty.

"Yeah, but it'll be fine. I've been through lots. You know that." Zack patted Cloud's leg as he spoke.

"You've been through lots, sure. But there's never been a threat against SOLDIER like this before," Cloud argued.

"I know, but it'll be okay." Zack smiled, but Cloud's face remained stoic. If Zack thought he could convince Cloud not to worry about him, he was crazy.

"I'm going with you." The blond said it so firmly, that Zack was almost stunned.

"What?"

"I don't care what mission you're going on. I don't care if you're going alone or with a group of forty SOLDIER. I'm going with you on your next mission." Cloud's face showed no hint of weakness, no hint of backing down.

"Listen, sweetie. SOLDIER members are designed for big jobs. There isn't much we can't handle. I don't know if bringing you along would—"

"But you can work that kind of thing, can't you? You can request me to go with you."

"I probably can, but—"

"Then, it's settled. I'm not waiting here, worrying that you'll never come back," Cloud said. Zack sighed, and eventually smiled.

"Okay, okay. I'll request to have you in my squad."

"Good," Cloud announced, a small, triumphant smile on his face.

* * *

><p>Cloud awoke sometime in the middle of the night, his nausea returning. He moved away from Zack just in case his stomach decided to upchuck everything he'd eaten in the past several hours. He closed his eyes, and hoped the spell would pass, but when he started to tremble again, he knew that wasn't likely. He debated waking Zack, but due to his body involuntarily shaking the bed, he didn't have to.<p>

"You okay?" a groggy Zack asked.

"N-no. I'm feeling sick again." Zack reached over to touch Cloud's face, which felt hot and feverish. Even in the dimness of the moon-lit room, Zack could see his clammy, color-drained cheeks.

"Do you want me to get you something?" he asked. He didn't like the way this sickness had crept up on Cloud again. He had been fine the whole evening.

"I-I dunno," the shaking boy answered. Zack ran a gentle hand over Cloud's arm.

"I'll be right back."

He returned a minute later with a pill and a glass of water. Cloud pushed himself to sit up, and Zack sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.

"This should make your stomach feel better," he said, handing the pill and water to the blond. He wrapped an arm around Cloud's back to support him while he downed the medicine, then he put the glass on the bedside table.

"You gonna be okay?" Zack asked, rubbing Cloud's arm again.

"Hope so. I think I should lie down again," he said. Zack helped him to do so, then brought the bucket in and put it beside the bed.

"Just in case," Zack said, then climbed back into bed.

"Thanks."

"Just wake me if you need anything else." Cloud lay his head against Zack's shoulder, then pulled away again, afraid to get too close, but Zack pulled him back into the same position.

"It's okay," he whispered.

Cloud was reluctant at first, but he eventually let himself relax, and closed his eyes. Zack lay awake until he heard Cloud's breathing change to a normal sleeping pattern, then he, too, closed his eyes and let himself drift off.

* * *

><p>Cloud had been getting mako injections for a week. As much as he and Zack had been watching for any improvements in his strength, neither of them noticed anything except for Cloud's constant sickness. In fact, it had been worsening. The first night Cloud had been sick, they had both figured it was merely from the needle, or a case of the flu, but after each dose of mako had made him a little worse, the reason behind it became clear.<p>

The poor blond had been throwing up on and off throughout the week, and could hardly do anything but lie down. His head was aching, and his body was so weak that it was difficult to walk around at all. The only times he got relief were when he took medication for nausea, and when his body actually allowed him to sleep. Even through all this torture, Cloud didn't want to stop the mako injections—not if the possibility of recovery was still there. Zack knew how he felt, but watching him suffer was hard to take.

Each time they visited the doctor for the next injection, Cloud would do his best to hide the fact that it was making him miserable, and Zack had to respect his wishes not to admit what it was doing to him. As strong as SOLDIER were supposed to be, Zack didn't know how much longer he could watch Cloud get progressively worse and worse; he just wasn't _that _strong.

Finally, he decided he had no choice but to speak up. It was evening, eight days after the first dose of mako. Zack was in the kitchen washing dishes when he heard Cloud's meek voice behind him.

"Let me help you." Before Zack had even turned his head, a thump followed, and Cloud was on his knees in the middle of the floor, a blanket wrapped around him. The SOLDIER dried his hands on a towel and bolted to the boy's side, embracing him.

"You can't. You need to rest," he whispered.

"Nah, I'm alright. Just a bit woozy." Cloud's eyes were closed, and his head was resting against Zack's shoulder.

"You're not woozy. You're really sick. I'm worried about you." Zack kept his arms wrapped protectively around the smaller form.

"No. I'm not sick. It... The mako just hasn't worked yet. It will," the blond mumbled. He was so tired he could hardly form a sentence.

"We can't keep waiting. You're getting worse, and you know that."

"No."

"This reaction isn't normal. The mako shouldn't affect you like this. You have to stop it," Zack said, taking Cloud's shoulders and pulling him away from him so he could see his face. Cloud stared at his partner for a long moment, then he felt his eyes start to sting. His body was so weak that he knew it would be impossible to keep himself from crying. Besides, the sickness was making him emotional.

"I only wanted to get stronger," he whimpered, as tears began to fall. Zack pulled him in against him once again.

"I know, love. I know. But it's dangerous to keep doing this when it puts you in such a state." Cloud sobbed, wetting Zack's shirt.

"I don't want to lose you, Cloud," Zack whispered.

Those words hit Cloud hard, and he gasped in response. It was like a wake-up call for him. He didn't want to give the mako treatment up, but Zack was right. Neither of them knew what kind of damage it was doing to him, or what it could potentially do to him. His life hadn't always been the best, but he didn't want to die, especially when he still had so much to do.

"Za-ck," the boy cried.

"Tomorrow, we're going to the doctor together and we're gonna get him to stop the injections, okay?" Cloud nuzzled in against Zack's warm chest, and let out a few remaining sobs.

"O-okay."

* * *

><p>All went as planned the next day, but neither of them felt as relaxed as they'd hoped they would. Cloud's stomach wouldn't stop doing flips as he went through the doctor's comments over and over again in his mind. <em>"It's a good thing you came in when you did, Cloud... I didn't realize how badly this was affecting you... You have an intolerance to mako, which can cause severe damage..." <em>

Cloud felt absolutely sick. He had been poisoning his body, and he hadn't even cared. If Zack hadn't stopped him, well, he didn't know if he would have lived to see his seventeenth birthday. Now he wasn't sure whether he should be thanking Zack or apologizing to him. Deciding it wasn't his fault for his body reacting negatively to the treatment, he opted for the first option.

"Thanks for trying to help me, Zack. Even though it didn't work out," Cloud said, once they had returned to the apartment.

"No thanks needed." Zack smiled, before picking him up from his position by the doorway, and plopping him down on the couch.

"Get some rest, bud. You need to recover." Zack went to return to the kitchen, but he turned back when Cloud said his name.

"Will you sit?" Cloud asked, patting a spot next to him on the couch. Zack did as he wanted. Cloud stared at the blank TV screen for a minute, searching for a way to explain his thoughts. Finally, he turned his head, meeting Zack's gaze.

"I really wanted to become SOLDIER."

"I know," Zack said, softly.

"You don't know how horrible it was when you went on that mission, and I thought you weren't coming back." Cloud's eyes fell away from Zack's now.

"No, I guess I don't," Zack answered, really having no idea what Cloud was trying to get at.

"One of the reasons I didn't want to stop the mako injections was because if I didn't become SOLDIER—if I _never_ became SOLDIER—then I would_ never_ be able to help you."

"What?"

"I mean, things were okay for a while. You were here with me, and I wasn't worried because you weren't going out on any missions while you healed. But now, you tell me you are, and..."

Sometime while Cloud had been talking, Zack had taken his face in his hands. Zack leaned in and kissed Cloud gently, then pulled away, Cloud's eyelids quickly flickering open and closed in surprise.

"I don't need you to be a SOLDIER. I just need to you be safe."

"But I want to keep _you_ safe, too," Cloud almost whispered.

"Look, I wish the mako had worked, but only because I know it was your dream to become SOLDIER. I would never want you to put yourself in danger for my sake," Zack told him, his hands still cupping Cloud's velvety face.

"Zack, you've gotta understand that I don't want you to be in danger either. That's why it's so important to me that I go with you on your next mission. You can understand that, right?" Cloud's eyes stared hard into Zack's, pleading with him. Of course, Zack understood. That didn't make the thought of Cloud getting hurt any easier, though.

"Yeah, I know. And I want you with me on that mission. I really do. Just stick close to me, and I'll make sure nothing happens to you. You'll be careful, won't you?" Zack asked. Cloud turned his head a little, just enough so he could kiss Zack's palm, which was still on his face.

"I will. But you've gotta be careful, too," he whispered. They kissed once more.

"Deal," Zack agreed.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry I didn't get this up earlier this week-end. There's been a lot going on, and things haven't really been easy lately. Anyway, the next few chapters are some of my favourites, so you all should have something to look forward to! This last scene wasn't in here when I originally wrote this story-I just wrote it this week-but I've really taken a liking to it. It's so sweet that Cloud's so concerned for Zack's safety as well.

Thanks, as usual, to every reader and reviewer! I loved the reviews I've been getting lately with specific details about what scenes you guys liked! That's awesome! Don't forget to leave a comment or two, and check back next week-end for Chapter 17!


	17. Chapter 17

A week passed, and Cloud made an incredible recovery from his mako-induced sickness. Unfortunately, Zack had a hard time forgetting what the doctor had told him in private when he'd taken Cloud in to see him: Things could have been much worse had the treatment persisted. Even though it scared the hell out of him to hear those words, he felt like they had been blessed to have gotten Cloud inspected before anything serious developed.

Before long, Cloud returned to his work duties, which they were both pleased about, despite not getting to spend as much time together. Not only were they pleased to have Cloud's health back to normal, but Cloud had been granted permission to accompany Zack on whatever his next mission was; Zack must have thanked Tseng for that about a dozen times. The thought of Cloud going to work with him made Zack even more excited than he already was about going back to work, and Cloud couldn't deny either that accompanying Zack put a smile on his face every time he thought about it.

Zack convinced Cloud to stay at his apartment, even though there wasn't a legitimate reason to do so anymore since Cloud had recovered. Spending time together did wonders for their happiness, though. Although neither of them said a word about it, they both started to feel like they had a family with each other. And although they were unsure of what might happen down the road, they secretly started thinking about a possible future with one another—a beautiful, wonderful future.

Unfortunately, not everyone at Shinra was in such high spirits. The Science Department was bustling with activity. The sound of beeping machines, clanging metal utensils, and bubbling formulas filled Cissnei's ears as she entered the dreary area. Several scientists followed her with penetrating stares as she strolled down the long room between the countless tables. She had only been here a couple of times before. The smell of chemicals alone was enough for her to never want to come back.

The Turk stopped at three different tables, collected reports from each of the three workers, then did her best to rush back out of the place. To her disappointment, she wasn't fast enough.

"Well, well. Not too often we have a Turk paying us a visit." When Cissnei heard the voice of the head scientist, Hojo, she tucked the three reports inside her suit before turning to face him.

"Not too often we have business down here," she answered. Hojo's black ponytail looked somewhat more unkempt than usual, as if he hadn't left whatever he'd been working on in days. He adjusted the glasses on his face, and flashed a smile that made Cissnei feel rather unsettled.

"And what business brings you here today?" the man asked. The Turk felt her heart speed up as her mind charged through an array of excuses.

"Tseng wanted me to make sure the number of workers down here hadn't decreased. After so many people left SOLDIER, the company was afraid other groups might follow in their footsteps," she lied. A moment later, she felt Hojo dangerously close to her neck.

"It's not good to lie, little girl. But, I'll let you get away with it this time," he whispered in Cissnei's ear. The girl tried not to breathe.

"Turks aren't really supposed to make their business known to anyone," she said, once the scientist had backed away.

"Well, I like to know _ev-er-y-thing_ that goes on in this department. If you don't want to tell me the real reason why you're here, then I'd suggest you get out of here. Can't have you snooping around and causing trouble."

Cissnei wasn't about to argue. She backed up several steps from the older man until she felt she was a safe distance from him. Then she turned on her heel, and took up a brisk walk towards the exit, still keeping the reports tucked away out of sight.

* * *

><p>It was a weekday. Cloud was busy with patrol duty—a<em> normal amount<em> of patrol duty, which was now considered quite good in his books—which made it a boring afternoon for Zack. That is, until the SOLDIER showed up at Tseng's office after getting an urgent phone call from the Turk leader. Zack pushed the office door open, and his face fell into a slight frown at the sight before him.

"Where's Tseng?" he asked, when he saw only the red-haired girl standing behind the desk.

"He's gone out," Cissnei answered, as Zack closed the door behind him. He frowned and folded his arms.

"Huh, that's weird. He told me to come here."

"I know. He wanted me to be the one to tell you this, Zack," Cissnei said. Her expression hinted that she was reluctant to tell him... whatever it was.

"Tell me what?"

"I think I know why you were attacked. Well, not completely, but—"

"Really? What did you find out?" Zack asked, eager to finally get to the bottom of this.

"I had three different scientists analyze that poison that you were shot with. None of them knew what they were analyzing, nor did they know that they were looking at the same substance. They all came up with the same conclusion."

"Which was...?" Zack asked. Cissnei shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"The substance was meant to inflict severe pain, and to paralyse or even kill the victim. The results can vary depending on the person," she explained.

"Looks like I got off easy," Zack said, staring at the floor as his mind starting swirling with _what-if _scenarios. "What was the point?"

"I think it was a test, Zack. To see if you were able to survive it."

"A test? Who the hell would try this kind of thing?" the SOLDIER demanded.

"I still don't know. There's something very disturbing about this, though. There was another attack near North Corel."

"I heard about that." Cissnei looked surprised at first, but shook it off.

"The 2nd's body was found abandoned near Nibelheim. I think whoever was taking him there ran off when they realized they were being tracked. I managed to get some of the SOLDIER's blood analyzed, and it contained the same substance you were hit with," Cissnei explained.

"The same poison? I don't understand this at all," Zack said, shaking his head in frustration.

"No one fully understands it yet. All we know is that more and more men are disappearing, and getting attacked in unexpected places. You need to be extra careful, Zack. The attackers know you've survived this drug, and we have no idea what they're going to do with that knowledge."

"This is insane!" Zack yelled.

"I know, but it's better to be prepared than not," Cissnei told him, watching as he seemed to struggle with the information.

"Can I trust _anyone_ anymore?" Zack muttered, more to himself than to the silent Turk. After a wordless minute, Cissnei shifted again, and made eye contact with the floor rather than the enraged man before her.

"Tseng wouldn't tell you this, Zack, but I can't keep this concern to myself. You should really let your friend know about this." Zack's eyes snapped upwards, and he stared at her long and hard.

"What friend?" he asked, slowly.

"Cadet Strife." Zack was silent for a long moment.

"What do you know about Cloud?"

"That you two have been spending a lot of time together since your mission together in Modeoheim. You two attended the staff party together, have been sighted together several times in the corridors, as well as after training, and you recently requested that he accompany you on your next mission." Zack slammed a fist down on the desk.

"What the hell, Cissnei? Am I being spied on?"

"Zack, please, calm down. Shinra has its ways, I know, but I just wanted to warn you about the dangers surrounding you and the rest of the company. That includes Cloud," Cissnei told him, though she had no idea how she had kept her voice so steady.

"Cloud is fine. The enemy is after me, not him," Zack said sternly, his arms folded across his chest.

"I know, but, please, listen, Zack. As a friend, I want you to think about what's best for Cloud."

"What do you mean, 'what's best for Cloud'?"

"I'm afraid you might be putting him in danger. And I'm sure you wouldn't want that." Zack frowned at her, but waited for her to continue.

"We don't know what the enemy wants. He or she could be targeting anyone they can get their hands on. I'm just worried that if he's with you, and something happens, he might get caught in the crossfire. And... I don't want you to have to watch another friend die."

"But, Cloud is... I won't let anything happen to... I would never let anything—"

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to say—"

"Shut up!" Zack yelled, his head lowered, his eyes staring at his fists that were tightly clenched upon the desk. Cissnei inhaled sharply, and held her breath, afraid that even the smallest sound would make Zack lash out at her. After a long minute had passed, Zack shut his eyes.

"Cissnei, I'm sorry. I didn't yell at you because of what you said," he admitted. The girl let her breath out slowly, quietly.

"I don't understand," she whispered, afraid to raise her voice any more than that.

"I yelled because I know you're right, and what you said is _scaring_ me."

"Zack..."

Cissnei gasped as the SOLDIER whipped around and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him. The Turk slumped down into her leader's chair, and buried her face in her hands. She knew she had done the right thing. She was trying to protect Cloud—something Tseng hadn't even considered doing—but it didn't keep her from feeling like she'd made a mistake. She could only hope Zack would be thankful in the long run, and that these tears that were falling from her face would be worth it.

* * *

><p>Heidegger knew who was outside his office by the way the visitor had knocked on the door. He dropped the pen that was in his hand, and reclined in his chair.<p>

"Come in."

Hojo appeared as the door opened, and he slithered inside the room.

"You'll be very pleased with me," the scientist said, swaying from side to side with a clipboard in his hand. Heidegger waved him forward, and Hojo approached him, leaning over the desk.

"I've found another candidate for the experiment," Hojo smirked. The burly man behind the desk felt a satisfied smile creep onto his face.

"Go on," he said. Hojo smirked and cleared his throat.

"An infantryman was recently informed that he has an intolerance to mako," Hojo announced. Heidegger stared at the scientist in anticipation.

"An intolerance, you say?"

"Yes. Wouldn't it be interesting to see what a large amount of mako would do to him? Test results show that he is already stronger than the average human. Think of how powerful he could become."

"Would it not kill him?" Heidegger asked. Hojo laughed, or rather, _cackled_.

"Who knows. It could, or it could help him to overcome the intolerance. What does it matter anyway? It's all for science," the slim man smiled, raising his hand up in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Not _just_ for science. You promised me a stronger battle force for Shinra."

"Which you will receive _if_ the science works. We first need to finish collecting test subjects." Heidegger gave a reluctant nod.

"So, this infantryman... How do we get our hands on him?" he asked. Hojo slammed a finger down on the clipboard he lay on the desk.

"Thankfully, Shinra isn't always too protective of its information. _Strife, Cloud. Infantryman. Age 16_. Everything we need to know is right here," Hojo recited from the paper before him.

"How did you get your hands on that?" Heidegger asked, his brows furrowed in a mesmerized stare.

"Don't you worry about that. The important thing is that I know exactly how to get him into our grasp."

"How?" the larger man asked. Hojo smiled, his snake-like face enough to scare even the evilest of people.

"That's where you come in. It all depends on one little promotion."

* * *

><p>There would be no easy way to do it. Zack knew that. No matter how many times he went over it in his mind, no matter how many times he rehearsed it and planned what he would say, he knew there was no way it could be anything but awful. His anxiety only increased the longer he waited for Cloud to return from his evening patrol duty. When the blond finally entered, Zack meant to speak, but no words found their way out of his mouth.<p>

"Zack?" Cloud asked, when the SOLDIER seemed to be staring through him. Zack shook his head, as if coming back to earth.

"Hey, you don't think you're getting in here without a hug, do you?" he asked.

Zack did his best to muster a smile, despite the vast amount of negative energy coursing through him. Cloud half-smiled, and slipped his arms around Zack's waist. Zack's hands made their way to Cloud's back, and he nuzzled his face into the familiar blond spikes. Cloud could have sworn he heard a sob. He waited silently to see if he would hear it again, but Zack did nothing but hold him close. He held him for so long, however, that Cloud started to worry.

"Zack, is something wrong?"

The SOLDIER remained silent.

"There is, isn't there?" Cloud asked, his brows turning upwards in nervousness. He pulled away from the embrace and his eyes locked with Zack's. Those mako blues couldn't disguise the fact that Zack was hiding something.

"I really love you, Cloud. I want to make sure you know that before I tell you this."

The infantryman felt his stomach lurch as his mind came up with possibilities that he didn't want to think about. He tried to keep himself calm.

"What?"

Zack took a minute to breathe, then he drew his eyes to Cloud's.

"I don't know if this is the safest time to be around me. This threat against Shinra workers has... Well, it's made me afraid for you," Zack told him. He couldn't stand the way Cloud was staring at him. The mixed look of anxiety and hurt was apparent, yet he was still trying to smile.

"Zack, y-you've been watching too many movies. This is what always happens. Someone's afraid for someone else, and there's a really cheesy speech that follows?" the blond said, hoping the joke could crack this serious mood.

He stared at Zack, a nervous smile plastered to his face, but when Zack's expression remained stoic—not to mention guilty—that smile began to slip away.

"Z-Zack... Don't tell me. This isn't what I think it is, i-is it?" He could feel himself starting to tremble.

"Look, Sunshine, I'm sorry," Zack said, approaching the boy. He placed a hand on the tender cheek, but the boy pulled away just as quickly.

"Stop it, Zack! Just tell me what you're trying to say." Zack's eyes fell to the floor, and he wished his heart wasn't pounding in his throat, as it was making it difficult to speak. He sighed, and took a step towards Cloud.

"I think we should take a break, just until things calm down." Cloud closed his eyes as a shiver ran through him. The mere thought of returning to a life without Zack made him feel cold, like the fire that Zack made burn inside him had gone out.

"Y-you're breaking up with me?" Cloud asked, his voice higher and shakier than usual.

"N-no, Cloudy," Zack protested. "I only think it's best for you to keep your distance for a while so you don't get hurt."

"Get hurt? That's what happens when you sign up for the army! Sometimes you get hurt!" he yelled. He took in a shaky breath, and continued to shout. "Besides, I'm hurting right now! A whole hell of a lot!"

"And you don't think it's killing me, too? It _is_, Cloud! I don't want to let you go." Zack's voice weakened as he came to the last sentence. Cloud allowed him to touch his face this time when he tried.

"Then don't. This is stupid, Zack."

"It's not. I... I got a warning from one of the Turks today. She made me think this was the smart thing to do," the SOLDIER explained.

"The Turks? What do they have to do with this? With _us_?" Cloud backed away from Zack's touch once again.

"N-nothing, really, but she had a point. Being this close to a SOLDIER isn't safe right now." Cloud stared at him, expressionless for a long moment.

"What about all that stuff we said the other day? You said you wanted me with you... That we would go on that mission together. We said we would keep each other safe," Cloud reminded him, his voice practically pleading him not to do this.

"I didn't realize how bad things are. If I can prevent you from getting hurt, then that's what I—"

"So, you want me to... to go?" Cloud whispered. Zack's head was hung low.

"I don't _want_ you to, but right now, I think it would be best." Cloud closed his eyes, on the verge of tears. He couldn't cry—not over this, not with Zack right there. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't hide his emotions; Zack could see them all, as clear as day.

"Cloud, please, don't make this harder than it has to be," he said. To his dismay, he felt himself getting choked up as well. He'd thought it would be easier on both of them if he could stay strong about it all, but that was easier said than done.

"It doesn't have to _be_ at all. You don't have to—" Cloud couldn't finish the sentence. It was too hard. He immediately bit his lip to keep from crying. Zack took his hand for a brief moment before Cloud broke the contact, and headed for the door.

"I'll go if you want me to." He placed a gloved hand on the doorknob, and sucked in a tremulous breath of air before speaking again.

"Cloud, please, understand."

"Zack, I—" he started, but couldn't say it. He couldn't tell him he loved him, not after what had just happened. It wouldn't change anything anyway: He could tell from the way Zack was being so damn stubborn.

Cloud bolted out the door and staggered down the hallway, his now relentless crying making it hard to walk straight, hard to breathe. How could he _not_ cry? He would never find anyone else like Zack. That much he knew was true.

Zack collapsed against the wall, too stunned to do anything but remain frozen. He felt unattached to everything—the world around him, the thoughts going through his head, and most importantly his heart, for it felt like it had been ripped out.

* * *

><p>AN: HELLO, everybody! It seems like such a long time since I updated! Some of you reviewers knew it might be delayed, though, and thank you all for being so understanding and supportive! It might be another two weeks before I get the next chapter up. I know, I know, it's a horrible chapter to end on when you know you're going to have to wait two weeks, but it's pretty much the busiest month of the semester right now. I've got so much work to do and not enough time to do it. I will work as hard as I can, though, and try to get the next chapter up ASAP. Thanks so much to all my readers/reviewers/subscribers! You guys are the best!

This chapter breaks my heart. What about you guys?


	18. Chapter 18

_Cloud could see the gang up ahead—Tifa and the three other boys. He had tried so many times to play with them, but maybe this time would be different. After all, they were just playing catch; it wasn't like they couldn't use another player. _

_Cloud proceeded towards the well where the kids were standing, and Tifa smiled slightly when she saw him coming. He stopped when he got a few feet away from them, then inched slowly towards them. One of the boys turned his head, and frowned when he lay his eyes on Cloud. He caught the ball, and Cloud saw him whisper something to the other kids, though he couldn't hear what he'd said. The next thing he knew, the group was making its way towards the stairs that led towards the Shinra Manor._

"_Hey!" Cloud shouted. The kids turned around, and Cloud suddenly felt shy. _

"_It speaks," he heard one of the boys mumble. Cloud swallowed hard, and searched somewhere deep down for the courage he needed._

"_Can I play?" The kids exchanged glances, then the boy who seemed to be the leader looked back at him._

"_Sorry. It's only a four-person game."_

"_But, couldn't you just throw in a circle instead of a square?" Cloud asked. Glances were exchanged again._

"_Well, maybe. Except we're going to play near the Shinra Manor. Probably too scary for you."_

"_I'm not scared," Cloud said, his voice coming out stronger than he felt._

"_Guys, why don't you just let him come along?" Tifa asked, and Cloud was hopeful for a moment._

"_You _know_ why. Remember what my dad said about him? Weird."_

"_I'm not weird," Cloud responded, but he was ignored. The kids turned towards the stairs again, and disappeared. Cloud stared down at his clenched fists, and swore he wouldn't cry. Crying was for little kids, or for girls—not ten-year-old boys. He brought his head back up and broke into a run after them._

_The boys looked shocked when Cloud showed up at the Manor courtyard, but Tifa actually looked kind of proud. Cloud walked right up to the four of them this time, and stood beside Tifa._

"_I want to play catch with you guys," he said. A couple of the boys laughed._

"_Please," Cloud added, when insecurity got the better of him._

"_You know what's an even better game than catch? Playing _by yourself_ at the well. Or investigating the Manor _by yourself_." Cloud frowned, and turned like he was about to leave. Just when he figured the group leader's defence was down, he whipped around and grabbed the ball from him. _

"_Get him!" one of the boys shouted, and Cloud was tackled in an instant. He heard Tifa scream, and felt his arms and knees get scraped as he hit the ground. Still, he held on tight to the ball buried underneath his chest._

"_What a freak!" Cloud closed his eyes, as if that would block out the insult, but he was soon made to compare that pain with a physical one as he felt the boys' fists pounding on his arms and back. _

_Cloud tried not to make a sound, but he couldn't possibly suppress every painful cry. Finally, he pushed the ball out from under his chest, and the kids ran to capture it. He took that as an opportunity to get back on his feet, and just as the leader turned around, Cloud threw a mighty punch at the kid's face. The boy wailed, and Tifa screamed again. _

"_What a—" Before the leader could get another insult in, Cloud punched him again. And again. And with the next punch, he saw blood coming from the boy's nose. Everyone was silent after that, afraid to speak, and Cloud watched as the boy's eyes filled with tears. _

"_What a freak," the boy whispered, before covering up his nose and hurrying away from the Manor, sobs emerging from his shaking body. One boy glanced at Cloud, then ran after his friend, calling his name. The last boy followed after them slowly, and all that was left was Tifa. _

_Cloud's stomach felt sick, twisted. He had actually _hurt_ somebody. Did that make him a bad person? Cloud slowly, hesitantly met Tifa's gaze. She was staring at him, her expression sad. He lowered his head in shame because he knew she was disappointed in him. But what was he supposed __to do? He hadn't _started_ the fight._

_Cloud was scared to meet Tifa's gaze again, but he dared to look up once more, only to see her shake her head before she silently headed back into town. Cloud looked down at his fist, which was sprinkled with the other kid's blood. Then he stared at his arms, and started shaking when he saw a few bruises already starting to form. He had no choice now; there was no holding back. Cloud hung his head low and let himself cry as he walked back to town alone._

_..._

_"Mom, it's not that bad," Cloud lied, as his mom wiped blood off his face—blood from a cut he hadn't even realized he'd gotten. The cold cloth stung like crazy, but he tried to ignore it. He was glad he'd stopped crying before he'd gone into the house. Otherwise, he figured the waterworks would still be coming now._

_The woman handed her son another cloth, this one filled with ice, and Cloud held it on his left arm where the most painful bruise was. Ms. Strife finished with the boy's face, and once she was satisfied that she'd thoroughly checked him over, and that there were no life-threatening injuries, she put the cloth down on the table and sighed. Cloud tried not to look at her because he knew what was coming__:__ the talk._

"_Honey, why were you in a fight?" the blonde woman asked. Cloud shifted uneasily in the kitchen chair._

"_The kids wouldn't let me play catch with them," he answered, in a quiet voice._

"_So, what happened?" Cloud's eyes were nowhere near his mother's now._

"_I punched one of them. B-but, he hit me first. They all did."_

"_You know two wrongs don't make a right."_

"_Mom, it wasn't like that. I didn't feel like I had a choice. They all just—" Cloud broke off, because he knew he _had_ had a choice. He'd made a rash decision in a split second, and yes, it was the wrong one. Perhaps he could have just run away. _

_Ms. Strife stroked her son's face._

"_Cloud, sweetie, this just isn't like you."_

"_I know," he said. His mother smiled halfheartedly and pulled him into an embrace. She knew Cloud had had a hard time dealing with his father's departure. Perhaps this behaviour was just a result of that._

"_I'm sorry," the woman heard her son whisper._

"_I know you are, honey. I know."_

_They both stayed silent for a long moment, and Cloud's arms wound their way around his mother._

"_Mom, am I always going to be alone like this? Are people always going to push me away?" he asked. Ms. Strife couldn't deny that the question had surprised her, and she only hugged her son tighter, saddened that he was thinking such things._

"_Of course not. You're going to find someone someday who loves everything about you. I promise you that when you find that someone, you're not going to feel alone anymore. And until then, you have me. I'll always love you."_

_Cloud kind of hated it when his mom gave him sappy talks, but fortunately, this one had actually made him feel a bit better. He clung tighter to his mother and mumbled into her shirt,_

"_I love you, Mom."_

* * *

><p>Cloud stumbled through his door and onto his bed so quickly that he didn't even realize that Luxiere was in the room. The blond buried his head in his pillow, his body convulsing with still ceaseless sobs while the flashback replayed in his mind. That 'someone' his mom had told him about all those years ago... Surely it was Zack.<p>

Zack had filled that empty space in Cloud's heart that had taken so long to fill. He had made Cloud smile when he'd thought smiling was impossible. Most importantly, Zack loved Cloud relentlessly, even those parts of him that Cloud wasn't so keen on himself. So, how could Zack do that to him? How could he push him away like the kids had done back in Nibelheim? Or like his father did when he'd left? How could Zack break his heart after they had spent so much time building such a strong and precious bond?

Luxiere stood up from rummaging under his bed, and stared at his devastated roommate.

"You okay?" he asked. Cloud jumped, and brought his head up to look at the other man. Luxiere could tell from his red, swollen eyes that the boy had either been crying very hard, or for a long while—maybe both.

"No," Cloud whimpered. He lay his head back down on the pillow, but didn't bury his face this time, despite feeling rather embarrassed that his friend had to see him in this state. Luxiere took a seat on Cloud's bed, and put a hand on his back.

"I'm sure it will get better," he comforted.

"It can't. Z-Zack..." Sobs followed Cloud's words.

"Is he okay?

"Yeah."

"Then what happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

"C-can't. Won't be able to... get the words out."

Luxiere stayed silent after that, but kept a hand on Cloud's back to comfort him. The room was silent except for the sporadic sobs.

After several minutes, Cloud was calm enough to speak.

"What were you doing before I came in?" he asked, eyeing the box of Luxiere's stuff that was pulled out from under his bed. He had been staring at it for a while now, but it hadn't really registered in his mind.

"Oh, d-don't worry about that right now," Luxiere said.

"No, tell me now! I'm sick of people trying to hide things from me," Cloud shot back. Luxiere raised his eyebrows, but Cloud didn't see it.

"Okay. I was sorting my stuff, getting it ready to go."

"Go?"

"I got promoted," Luxiere announced, somewhat fearful of what Cloud's reaction would be. The blond propped himself up on his elbows and glanced back at his friend.

"Promoted? When? How did it happen?" Cloud asked, not fully comprehending, partly because he didn't want to accept that another of his friends was about to leave him.

"I was summoned to Mr. Heidegger's office yesterday. He said I had a lot of talent, and a knack for fighting. Then, he promoted me to 2nd class SOLDIER."

"2nd class? Why?" Cloud asked, shocked.

"I'm not really sure, myself. But hey, I'm not going to complain," Luxiere said. Cloud frowned, and stared at the sheets below him.

"How can he do that when so many 3rds have been training for months, hoping to be promoted? We're only in the infantry class."

"I don't know why, Cloud, but I'm not going to say no." Cloud was silent for another moment while Luxiere patted his back.

"I don't want you to leave," he whispered. A soft smile spread across Luxiere's lips.

"Don't worry. I'm not leaving tonight. I'll stay with you." Cloud closed his eyes.

"Thanks," he sniffed. Luxiere got up and kicked his box of belongings back under his bunk, and glanced back at Cloud.

"I won't even pack up any more stuff tonight. As for you, I think you should get some sleep. Things might not look so dim once you've had some shut-eye," Luxiere said. Cloud nodded, and slipped under the bed covers, pulling them up over his mouth so his friend wouldn't see his lip trembling.

"You're gonna be okay, Cloud. You're strong." Cloud understood the words perfectly, but he didn't feel like they applied to him at all. How could he be considered strong when he could hardly keep it together, when all he wanted to do was cry?

"Hey, Lux?" Cloud asked, his voice weak.

"Yeah?"

"You've been a really great friend." Luxiere smiled.

"Thanks. So have you." With that, the older infantryman reached for the light switch, and the room went black.

* * *

><p>Zack tossed and turned, unable to relax. Nothing seemed right. He couldn't help but feel he shouldn't have pushed Cloud away, even if it was for his safety. He should have at least kissed him once more, or promised him they would get back together, or <em>something—<em>anything to make Cloud see that he didn't want this.

The SOLDIER rolled on to his back, but was afraid to look at the ceiling much longer, in case it caved in from being stared at for too long. He stretched out his right arm, almost expecting to feel the familiar warm body beside him, and cursed when he didn't. Why was it that Cloud had this hold on him? What had brought them together in the first place? What had made them fall for each other the way they had? And why did parting hurt so much more than the average breakup?

Frustrated, Zack threw the covers off of himself, and headed for the living room. He slumped down onto the couch, and flicked on the TV. What did it matter that it was two o'clock in the morning? He wasn't going to sleep anyway.

* * *

><p>Morning came, and although Cloud had slept, he still felt exhausted. He was thankful that his friend was still in the room with him when he woke up.<p>

"How are you feeling?" Luxiere asked. Cloud groaned and put a hand on his head.

"Kind of like I got beat up."

"That bad, huh?" The blond nodded.

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"N-no, not really a fight," Cloud stuttered, his eyes fixed on his blankets rather than on his friend. Luxiere didn't want to pry any further, not when Cloud had been so upset the night before.

"I-I guess we just didn't see eye-to-eye on something," Cloud continued, quietly.

Luxiere nodded and gave him a sympathetic glance. Surely, whatever had happened between him and Zack wasn't worth staying apart over. Of course, Luxiere couldn't just tell Cloud to march right back over there, not when he didn't know for sure what was wrong.

Luxiere finished getting his belongings ready to go, despite feeling guilty. He felt like he was abandoning Cloud somehow, even though he could hardly help being chosen to become SOLDIER. And who could blame him for accepting? Still, as he watched Cloud lie there with a look of defeat on his face, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was letting down a good friend.

He walked over to the bed and stood in front of Cloud.

"I guess this is it," he said. They were both silent after that, glancing at each other, then looking away to hide the hurt that both of them were feeling.

"It's not like we'll never see each other again," Luxiere continued, to interrupt the quiet.

"Yeah. I just really hate goodbyes. Now more than ever." Cloud didn't look at his friend as he spoke.

"I know, but let's not call it 'goodbye'. It'll be more like a 'see you later'." Cloud sighed and gave a half-smile for Luxiere's sake, though his heart was still breaking.

"Can I ask you something?" the blond asked.

"Sure."

"Why did you take this new position?"

"Wouldn't _you_?" Luxiere asked.

"Well, yeah, I guess so."

"Then why do you ask?"

Cloud stared down at the sheets for a minute while he collected his thoughts.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to hear something positive," he answered. Luxiere stared at the boy for a minute, not fully understanding what he had meant, but realizing he had a chance to tell Cloud what he should do. Indirectly, of course.

"Well, I guess becoming a SOLDIER will make me happy because it's what I've been striving for all this time. Besides, when you find something great in your life, you shouldn't let it go, even if you have to fight for it," Luxiere explained, slowly, in hopes that Cloud would understand.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I know that even if bad things happen, I have the power to try and fix them, even if that takes a lot of courage," Luxiere continued. Cloud nodded his head, then stopped abruptly.

"Wait. Are you still talking about why you agreed to join SOLDIER?" he asked. Luxiere smiled.

"I'll leave that for you to decide." He grabbed the boxes containing his possessions, and left the room, flashing one last grin at the blond. Cloud stared at the closed door, then down at his hands. Was going back to Zack's really the right thing to do?

Cloud thought about it for several minutes, then something occurred to him: Zack still loved him. It wasn't like they had broken up because things weren't working. Zack was just doing what he thought was best for Cloud.

Zack had told him a while ago that being in a relationship meant they didn't have to deal with things alone. If Zack truly believed that, then hell, they definitely should have been going on that mission together. And they also should have been deciding _together_ what was best for them. Cloud knew what he wanted, and he knew that Zack wanted it, too. They were meant to be together, and they were strongest as a team.

Cloud's eyes were still fixed on his hands. They were shaking slightly, so he closed them into fists and closed his eyes. Luxiere was right. He _did_ have power, and he _could_ make things right with Zack.

* * *

><p>The day seemed to drag on so long that Zack felt like he had been sucked into some kind of time vortex. Loneliness and guilt were haunting him, and he felt like the sun had stopped shining on him; he figured it was because he'd told his own personal sunshine to keep away. He regretted the night before so much he could hardly stand it.<p>

Partway through the day, he received an e-mail saying:

_I think he's going to try to fix things up with you. Please, let him._

_I'm following you till the end, Zack!_

_Luxiere_

After that, his spirits were lifted, expecting Cloud to show up or call, or do anything to contact him. But evening rolled around, and he still hadn't heard a word from him.

Finally, Cloud got up his courage. He'd been waiting for the right time, or at least, that was his excuse for waiting until evening to see Zack. Luxiere had believed he could do this, so there was no reason for him to doubt himself either. He knocked three times on Zack's door, and waited, his stomach twisting itself in knots.

When Zack appeared in the doorway, Cloud almost froze, but forced himself to move, to say something.

"Hey," he said, in a near whisper.

"Hi." Zack opened the door wider, and Cloud walked in, pressing the door closed with his back. They stood in awkward silence—Cloud with his back against the door, and Zack with his arms hanging uselessly at his sides.

"Luxiere said you might come," Zack said, causing Cloud to look up. _So Luxiere _had_ been planning this_, Cloud thought_._

"Zack," he said, stepping towards him. "I don't want to stay away from you. It's okay for you to care about me, but it's my choice to be with you, even if it means I might be putting myself in danger." Zack watched him with thoughtful eyes, his head cocked to the side. He said nothing.

"We're a couple, Zack, and we can't let anything stand in the way of us. Too many things..." Cloud paused as he started to choke up, but he pressed forward, knowing he needed to get these words out in the open.

"Too many things in this world end in sadness, and I just can't let that happen with us."

Zack approached him, watching him even more intently now.

"Cloud..." he whispered.

"I'm not afraid to go with you, no matter what mission you go on. So please, don't tell me I can't," Cloud said, his expression firm, but his voice soft.

He closed his eyes for a minute, waiting for Zack's response. His eyes flew open again when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I won't," Zack whispered. "I won't tell you to stay away anymore."

Cloud's eyes searched Zack's for a long moment, and Zack finally gave him a soft smile, reassuring him that he meant what he'd said. The boy eventually gave a small smile back.

"What we have is too special to give up," Zack added, gently.

"Zack..."

Cloud tried to judge his partner's expression as he slowly reached a hand up behind Zack's neck. Zack looked appreciative when Cloud pulled their lips together. Three long, steady, passionate kisses were shared. They parted, and smiled, but both knew it wasn't enough. A second hand made its way to Zack's neck and rested there. Lips met again, fiercer this time. They pulled away again. Still not enough. Zack's arms found their way around Cloud's waist and stayed there. Mouths met each other once more. Tongues became frantic to get at each other, to taste. It was suddenly as if they had been apart for months, like their bodies needed each other.

Zack flung his gloves off, and slipped his hands under Cloud's shirt to massage his back. Cloud's hands travelled up into the other man's hair as he continued to kiss him with much haste. The blond gasped when he felt a hand on his backside, and his hips drove themselves against Zack's body. Zack moaned, and manoeuvred them both to the nearest wall, pressing Cloud up against it. He moved his lips to the side of Cloud's neck, nipping and kissing harder than he usually did, as their lower regions ground against each other.

"Za-ck... N-not here," Cloud groaned, in between strained breaths.

It took all of Zack's power to back away, and pick Cloud up in his arms. He carried him into the bedroom in such a hurry that he knocked down the towel that had been hanging on the doorknob, and toppled over a couple of things that were on his nightstand. He lay Cloud down on the bed, and hovered above him, kissing him once again. As he started to undress him, he felt Cloud's hands on his own.

"Zack, wait," Cloud panted, pulling away from the kiss. "Would it be okay... if I tried?"

Zack stared at him in confusion for a moment, then Cloud sat up, and motioned for Zack to switch places with him. The SOLDIER nodded, and lay down where the boy had been. Cloud removed his gloves, and wished he wasn't shaking so badly. Zack was watching him intently, still slightly breathless.

"I probably can't do this very well," Cloud uttered in a quiet voice.

"It's okay. Just take your time," Zack encouraged.

The blond nodded, and leaned forward, capturing Zack's lips. The urgency of the moment slowly fell away, but both of them were okay with that. Things always seemed to go so much better when they took their time.

Once Cloud felt confident enough, he pushed the collar of Zack's shirt down so he could reach his neck. Cloud's lips slowly caressed Zack's skin. The blond worked his way up to his partner's jaw, then back down his neck, as he tried to remember just the way Zack had done it to him. Cloud tried to think of what he liked when Zack kissed him, and hoped he could make Zack feel just as good.

"Am I doing okay?" Cloud asked, popping his head up to look at Zack.

"You're doing great," Zack smiled. The boy resumed his work on Zack's neck, and whimpered when he ran out of skin.

"You can take it off, if you want. I'll agree, the turtle-neck's not so sexy," Zack chuckled.

Cloud smiled briefly and nodded, reaching for the hem of his partner's shirt. Zack sat up, and let Cloud rid him of the garment. When he lay back down, the blond ran his lips along his collarbone, making Zack give an appreciative sigh. Cloud was still somewhat shaky, but he felt better knowing he was doing a good job.

Cloud stroked Zack's abdomen with unsteady hands while he kissed the tender skin around his collarbone. Once he had finished there, the blond began trailing soft, slow kisses down Zack's chest. He was especially gentle when he kissed both of the scars Zack bore from his last mission.

The blond felt his partner undoing his belt and shirt, and he momentarily stopped his work while Zack removed them from him. Zack tangled his hands in Cloud's hair, and let his head fall back on the pillow, allowing his sense of touch to indicate Cloud's motions to him, rather than his sense of sight. Flushed, pink lips continued their journey further down Zack's front, kissing some spots several times when Zack made noises of approval.

Cloud brought his head up when he reached Zack's waistband, Zack's hands falling from his hair as he did so.

"I can't do anymore," he almost whimpered, his cheeks as red as his lips.

"You've done plenty," Zack said, rubbing Cloud's back. They both stared at each other, unsure of what they should do next.

"Do you want to... finish it off together?" Zack asked, gruffly, just the thought of the experience making him antsy. Cloud's expression became suddenly uncertain, and possibly somewhat frightened.

"You mean—?"

"I-I mean, like, all the way," Zack told him, realizing he wasn't the only one who was nervous about this.

"Oh, yeah. A-all the way."

"That's how you wanted to do it, w-wasn't it?"

"Y-yeah."

"We don't have to if you don't want to," Zack assured him. This was the probably biggest and most important step they would ever take together. There was no way Zack was going to take things this far without making sure Cloud was absolutely ready as well.

Cloud was silent as he stared down at the bed, looking almost ashamed.

"I kept thinking we might. I-I just didn't know when," Cloud uttered.

"Cloud, I'm not going ahead with this unless you're ready," Zack said, looking at his partner sternly. Cloud was silent for another minute, then he looked up at the other man.

"Zack, I'm ready... I trust you."

Cloud's words were full of the same force as Zack's had been, but Cloud's tone was not at all stern. Those words were the most loving and rewarding words that Zack had ever heard. He felt a rush of emotion, and his urges suddenly fell away. Those words meant everything to him. He couldn't let Cloud down by showing any lack of patience.

Zack finally smiled. He sat up, and pressed his lips against Cloud's, which met his in eager agreement.

"I'm a little nervous," Cloud whispered, when the kiss ended. Zack held him in his arms.

"That's okay. So am I," he answered. Cloud's body began trembling against his, which only made Zack hold him tighter, and press a tender kiss against his forehead.

"We really don't have to if—"

"I want to," Cloud reassured him.

Once Cloud's shaking had settled a bit, Zack lay him down on the bed—their hands linked—and gave him a gentle kiss to reassure him that things were going to be okay. When he felt that Cloud was relaxed enough, he pulled away.

"We'll take it slow," Zack promised.

...

With quavering hands, Zack rid Cloud of all his clothes, then waited while Cloud did the same to him. Both of them seemed to freeze when they realized they were both fully naked, and unsure of how to proceed. Zack took Cloud's hand and placed a loving, comforting kiss on it.

"It's gonna be okay. Stop me if you need to," Zack told him. Cloud nodded, giving him a small, gracious smile.

Zack helped Cloud get situated correctly on the bed after agreeing on which position would be most comfortable for both of them. Then Zack reached a hand into the drawer beside him, and withdrew a bottle. He opened it and spread some of its contents onto his fingers.

"It won't hurt as much this way," he promised Cloud.

Carefully, slowly, he brought a finger to Cloud's entrance, applying only a bit of pressure at first. Next, he pushed one, then two fingers inside his partner, who whimpered slightly in response. When he felt Cloud was ready, a third finger was added, and Cloud gripped the sheets below him so tightly that his nails dug into his palm. It wasn't that it hurt; it didn't really. He was just so unbelievably tense, and the feeling was so new, that it was the only thing he could think to do.

Zack kept an eye on Cloud's expression, worried he might be hurting him. Cloud's eyes were tightly shut, and his mouth was pressed together in a firm line.

"You okay?"

"Mm-hmm."

Zack leaned forward and kissed Cloud's forehead ever so gently, causing him to open his eyes and give a hint of a smile. Zack hoped that that bit of reassurance would help Cloud relax. After all, Zack wanted this to be a _good _experience for him, not an uncomfortable one.

Zack cautiously moved his fingers inside Cloud's body, watching his face for any sign of pain. Cloud's face remained stiff, but it didn't look like he was in too much discomfort. Once Zack had imitated the motion several times—earning a few sounds from the boy below him—and felt he had loosened Cloud up enough, he withdrew his hand, giving Cloud a chance to breathe comfortably.

"Did it feel okay?"

"Uh-huh... A little weird, but okay," Cloud admitted.

Zack reached for the drawer again, pulling out a condom this time. He started to open it, but Cloud put a hand on his.

"Um, Zack, I, um, got checked recently... just in case we ended up—" Cloud whispered, blushing.

"Oh, you did? So did I," Zack admitted.

"And I'm fine."

"Me too. So..."

"So, there's no need for that," Cloud said, his hands gently tugging the packet away from Zack, and putting it back in the drawer. Zack smiled as Cloud leaned up to kiss him once more.

Zack then proceeded to coat another part of his anatomy with the lubricant, and after checking once more with Cloud for approval, he began to push himself inside the smaller body. Cloud was extremely tense, however, and it was making his task quite difficult.

"Can you try to relax for me?" Zack whispered.

"I'll try," Cloud replied quietly, though his hands had once again taken up their tight hold on the sheets.

Zack pushed a little further, then waited a few seconds before he tried again. Finally, he managed to get himself fully inside his dear Cloud. Both of them moaned a little as they adjusted to the foreign feeling. Zack gave his partner an extra minute to get used to him, then, after their eyes had met in a silent agreement, he slowly began to rock his hips back and forth. Cloud whimpered a little at first, then began to settle into the feeling.

Zack didn't dare speed up. Not yet. He was waiting until he was sure the time was right. Cloud's eyes were open, focused on him. Zack seemed to wordlessly ask him if he was okay. Cloud returned only a tiny nod, but his eyes told Zack everything he needed to know: He was ready.

The SOLDIER sped up the pace of his hips, but only a little—just enough to break into a regular pulse. Cloud was getting used to the feel of Zack inside him, almost growing accustomed to it. He released a soft murmur. He knew Zack was doing his best to make this feel good for him, but he wished he could do something for Zack in return.

He managed to untangle his hands from their grip on the sheets, and he instead wrapped his arms around Zack's neck. When Zack didn't seem to respond, he brought them back down to his sides, thinking the contact was unwanted.

"No, that was good. Put them back," Zack encouraged in a soft whisper.

Cloud gave him a tiny, appreciative smile and returned his arms to their previous position; Zack kissed his arm as he did so. Cloud felt better, too, having that extra contact with Zack. It made him feel even more connected to him—perhaps even safer.

They watched each other's expressions as their bodies worked together. As nervous as they had been, they felt confident in their actions now as it brought them closer than they had ever been, as close as they ever could be. Zack smiled at the blond below him, receiving a smile back, and their lips met to reassure each other that everything in that moment was right. The kiss ended, but their eyes remained fixed on each other, searching for _and finding_ every ounce of trust and admiration they could ever ask for.

Cloud knew they had done the right thing. This act, this love... He was so glad he was sharing it with Zack. He _only ever_ wanted to share it with Zack, as he was the only one he could ever imagine it feeling this right with. Zack accepted everything about him: his insecurity, his illness, his always having to wait until the right time for things—he accepted it all. Cloud felt in that moment that there was no other for him. Only _his Zack_ could ever make him feel this way. Yes, _only_ _his Zack_.

Cloud began to let out several moans—some louder than others—as Zack moved inside him. Zack released similar noises whenever something felt particularly good, or whenever Cloud made this or that pleasing sound. When he felt Cloud was ready, Zack sped up his pace a bit more, hitting him with harder, well-timed thrusts. Cloud cried out as Zack managed to hit him in just the right spot; that cry was followed by a string of moans when Zack continued to hit him there. Zack let out lustful noises in response to Cloud's reactions.

"You... okay?" Zack managed to pant out.

"Ye-ah," Cloud groaned.

Their breathing was now quick and unsteady, but it was something that Zack felt he could work with. He slowed his breathing just long enough so that he could match it with Cloud's. Cloud was a part of him; he had been for a long time, but never in this way. This was new. This meant so much more. Zack wanted them to become one.

And so they did. They took every breath together, they trembled together, they felt every movement together. Zack wanted everything to be perfect in what he believed was a beautiful act, the only act that could truly display how much they meant to each other. And by the way Cloud's eyes showed an unmistakable look of adoration for him, and by the way Cloud clung to him like he was the only one in the world, Zack was almost positive that Cloud could feel that perfection.

Zack could feel his time soon approaching, and he wished he could keep it going for so much longer. After all, he could tell Cloud wasn't close enough yet. He stopped the movement of his hips for a minute, which earned a groan of disapproval from Cloud. Keeping one hand on the bed to support himself, Zack took Cloud's erection in his hand, stroking it first, then pumping it in time with his thrusts. It wasn't long before Cloud's hands—his arms feeling heavy now—fell down to rest on Zack's back.

"Nng... Z-Zack... I'm—" he panted.

"I know—" Zack responded, as he sped up the movement of his hips.

He could feel Cloud's body starting to react on its own. Cloud tossed his head to the side as his hips started to rise and fall with Zack's movements.

"Z-... Zack..." Cloud moaned.

Zack drove himself inside Cloud hard, causing the boy to call out his name in a lustful cry as he released himself between the two of them. Zack watched the boy below him, convulsing, panting. Zack thrusted only a few more times before he, too, cried out as he climaxed, releasing his seed inside Cloud's body. Zack struggled to catch his breath, but continued to pump inside Cloud a few more times, trying to prolong the pleasure for both of them. Then he carefully withdrew from the smaller frame.

He collapsed on his back beside Cloud, both of them breathing unsteadily as their bodies trembled with residing spasms. Once he felt able, Zack reached out beside him, and took Cloud's hand.

"We... we did it," he whispered. Cloud turned his head to look at his partner, and was pleased that for once he wasn't the only one with cheeks as red as strawberries.

"Y-yeah," the boy replied, his voice meek. They stared at each other for several minutes, silent, yet each of them with soft smiles on their faces.

"How do you feel?" Zack asked.

"Different."

"Me too."

"Good, though," Cloud added.

"Definitely good," Zack agreed.

As soon as the shakiness had worn off, Zack got up and grabbed the fallen towel off the floor. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and proceeded to gently clean Cloud's abdomen off with it.

"Th-thanks," Cloud said, and Zack was sure he would have been blushing had his cheeks not already been as red as humanly possible. Once he was done with Cloud's stomach, he cleaned off his own, then tossed the towel into the clothes hamper in the corner of the room.

"Now, I guess you'll be more comfortable if you have something to sleep in." Zack got up and looked around the floor. "Your pants are... Oh, here they are."

"Zack?" Cloud had said it so quickly that Zack snapped his head up in surprise.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Zack's mouth opened slightly, and he found himself unexpectedly speechless. Time seemed to stop. His arms were suddenly covered in goosebumps, and he felt like his heart was beating in his throat.

"W-what? What did you say?" he asked, swallowing hard. Cloud stared at him from the bed.

"I love you, Zack."

Cloud watched Zack's face, how it went from a small smile, to looking like he was about to cry. Zack hadn't imagined he would be this emotional when Cloud said it, but he couldn't help but feel that everything they'd done together, everything they'd shared, meant something.

"Come here," Cloud said, softly.

Zack obeyed, letting Cloud's pants fall to the floor without another thought as he climbed into bed and pulled the covers over both of them. Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack, whom then returned the embrace.

"What made you say it now?" Zack asked, staring into Cloud's eyes as he spoke, the moonlight making them shine.

"You know why. Tonight just made everything become really clear," Cloud told him.

"That means a lot to me, Cloud." The blond smiled, as Zack kissed him on the nose, then on the lips.

"I've actually loved you for a long time, you know," Cloud said, watching his partner.

"I know. But it means a lot more when you say it."

"Yeah. I know."

"Hey, Cloud?" The blond looked up at Zack, anticipation in his eyes. "I think you waited for the perfect time to say it."

Cloud smiled and kissed Zack's lips before snuggling his head in underneath his chin.

"Me too," he whispered.

The room was peaceful then, quiet. Laying in each other's arms like that, their skin warming each other, they knew that for the first time, they _both loved_ each other. _Love_. Growing up, neither of them had always been sure of what it was, but in this moment, they understood exactly. This atmosphere, this warmth, this feeling of utmost safety and adoration. Yes, this was love.

Zack gave his partner a gentle squeeze, and whispered a sweet 'goodnight' to him. Cloud repeated the word back, a soft smile on his face. Then he closed his eyes and listened to the soothing sound of Zack's beating heart, as they settled down for a well-deserved and simply perfect sleep.

* * *

><p>AN: ...Bet you didn't expect that. Haha!

Hey, everybody! I am alive, haha! I know updates have been soooo slow lately, but I think I'll be back on a weekly schedule after this week. You guys rock for reviewing so fast on the last chapter. Within like four hours of uploading, I had a ton of reviews! You guys are awesome! Hopefully, this nice long chapter made up for the long break between chapters.

I'm really hoping everyone enjoyed this chapter, as it took so long to perfect. Hopefully, I got it right, haha. Cloud's sappy little speech when he comes to Zack's apartment... aww, it's so sweet. Anyway, let me know what you thought, everybody! I'm just hoping I didn't overkill the romance and the sap!


	19. Chapter 19

Cloud was the first to wake up the next morning. His eyes flickered open only for a moment, as the light coming in the window was much too bright. He scooted in closer to Zack, pressing his head up against the man's warm chest. It didn't seem like so long ago that he had been in the same position, listening to Zack's heartbeat as they fell asleep. That had been the night before.

Cloud's blue eyes flew open at the mere recollection. They had actually done it—gone all the way. Cloud's cheeks weren't the only things heating up as he remembered the actions, the sounds, the words. He sunk down under the covers in further embarrassment at the realization that he and Zack were still very much naked, and had been the entire night.

"What's wrong with you?" Zack mumbled, opening one tired eye as he heard the restless being beside him.

"I'm realizing that the morning after is really embarrassing," the blond mumbled, his mouth covered by the blanket he had pulled up over his chin. Zack flung an arm around Cloud's waist and pulled him in closer.

"It doesn't have to be," Zack whispered, closing his eyes again. Hearing that gentle voice relaxed Cloud, and he, too, closed his eyes once again. He lay a hand on Zack's chest and sighed gently.

"I can't believe we—"

"Yeah, I know. And I can't believe that our first time was so... perfect," Zack murmured. Cloud gazed up at him.

"It... was really good, wasn't it?"

"Mm-hmm."

They lay there in peaceful silence for several minutes, soaking up nothing but the incredible feeling of being close to each other. Cloud really did love this part of being with Zack: waking up slowly, and basking in the ardent love they shared. Something about lying there and simply holding each other was so comforting. It made Cloud confident that their feelings were sincere and strong enough to last.

"You know what my favourite part was?" Zack asked, bringing the blond out of his thoughts.

"What?" There was suspicion in Cloud's voice; it was obvious that he expected Zack to say something dirty.

"When you said you loved me." Cloud locked his eyes with Zack's, shocked at first, then his lips curled into a shy smile.

"O-oh, yeah. I did say that, didn't I?" Cloud asked, timidly. Zack merely nodded, and Cloud gave a light chuckle, burying his head once again against Zack's body.

"I _do_ love you," he uttered. Zack smiled and pressed his lips into the head of blond spikes.

"I love you, too. So much."

Cloud sighed in contentment. Zack rolled over to glance at his alarm clock, then resumed his position.

"What time is it?" Cloud asked.

"Almost eleven-thirty. Guess we needed a lot of sleep after the night we had," he teased.

"Zack..." Cloud groaned.

"Sorry. Oh, you didn't have training or anything this morning, right?"

"Thankfully, no," Cloud answered. Even if he _had_ had duties, he would have skipped them in an instant rather than give up this very special morning with Zack. After all, their_ first morning after_ could only happen once.

"Maybe we should get up," Zack said.

"No. Let's stay like this a bit longer. Please?" Cloud asked. Zack smiled and nodded at his partner's request. Cloud closed his eyes again, and they snuggled up close, one arm around each other, their free hands entwined. In that moment, they couldn't care less about the world around them. They felt safe, and they were happy.

* * *

><p>Luxiere couldn't ignore the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach. This opportunity was supposed to be a positive thing. Increasing in rank meant he was going where he wanted to go. He was one step closer to his dream. Yet, since Cloud had reminded him that getting promoted to 2nd class didn't make a lot of sense, he found himself worrying about the reason for it. He tried his best not to reveal his unease as he entered Heidegger's office that morning.<p>

"Mr. Luxiere, is it?" the husky man asked, at the sight of the infantryman. Luxiere tried not to breathe, as the scent of the cigar that Heidegger was smoking was overpowering.

"Yes, Sir," he replied, assuming his expected military posture. Heidegger took a long drag of his cigar, then released a puff of smoke, watching Luxiere all the while.

"You're ready to accept the offer, I presume? Your promotion to 2nd class SOLDIER?"

"Yes, Sir." Luxiere felt his palms start to sweat as the man continued to stare at him. He shifted his weight slightly, then spoke again.

"If I might, Sir, I'd like to ask why I've been given this promotion."

"Gya ha ha! Well," Heidegger said, sighing, and laying his cigar down on the ashtray on his desk. "Like I told you before, it's been brought to my attention that you have talents that other men here do not possess. You will be of great assistance to me, and therefore, I thought it fitting to bring you up to this level."

Luxiere said nothing, not realizing that he kept a look of uncertainty on his face.

"Unless you'd rather_ not_ become a 2nd."

"Oh, no, Sir. I really do appreciate this promotion. I accept it willingly. Gratefully, in fact," the infantryman babbled. He certainly didn't want to ruin his chances by questioning the one in authority.

Heidegger reached into the drawer of his desk and pulled out a uniform. He placed it on the desk and pushed it towards the younger man.

"You'll be required to wear this." Luxiere picked up the maroon-colored SOLDIER uniform and felt his heart speed up in an eagerness to put it on. It didn't seem real; he had waited for so long.

The burly man pushed a piece of paper forward as well, and Luxiere collected it. Heidegger's messy signature was scrawled at the bottom, and the top seemed to be some sort of permission form.

"Show that to the ladies at the reception desk. They'll get you an updated ID card. You got into your room on the SOLDIER floor already, yes?"

"Yes, I did, Sir."

"Once you get that new card, it will be your only way into your room. Don't lose it."

"I won't, Sir," Luxiere said.

"Now, I want you to go and change into your outfit. When you get back, I'll need to wrack your brain for some information. Consider it your first assignment in your new position," Heidegger said.

"Yes, Sir." Lusiere turned to leave the room. He paused, however, once the man's last words had settled in his head. He turned back around.

"Sorry, Sir, but what information would that be?"

Heidegger smirked and leaned forward, as if to keep the conversation safe from the possibility of eavesdropping walls.

"I need you to tell me everything you know about Cloud Strife."

Luxiere felt his body go cold.

* * *

><p>Zack finally convinced Cloud that they couldn't ignore their growling, hungry stomachs any longer. He got out of bed first and tossed Cloud his pants when he realized that was probably part of the reason Cloud hadn't gotten up earlier. Once they had both clothed their bottom halves, they went out to the kitchen, and Cloud slumped into one of the wooden chairs.<p>

"I could really use a shower," Cloud said, avoiding Zack's gaze, for he was sure he was smirking at him. He was right.

"Oh, come on. You don't want to wash my kisses off that badly, do you?" Zack teased, ruffling Cloud's hair.

"It's not _your kisses_ that are making me feel gross..." Cloud muttered. "And _you_ should be even more disgusted."

"Why? It's not your fault. That's what's supposed to happen when—"

"Can we stop talking about this?" Cloud's face was red now, and Zack gave a sigh before walking forward and kissing Cloud's forehead.

"Sure, sweetheart."

Cloud blushed a deeper shade of red, and popped up from his seat, heading for the bathroom.

"I'm sorry. Do you not want me to call you that?"

"No, it's okay," Cloud said, stopping in his tracks. Zack smiled, and cast a longing look at the boy.

"Do you... want to join me?" Cloud asked, turning his head slightly so he could see Zack in the corner of his eye. The older teen folded his arms.

"I would, but I have a feeling you'd rather wash up on your own. And I think under the circumstances, that's probably a good idea," Zack replied.

"What do you mean, 'under the circumstances'?" Zack walked forward and put his hands on Cloud's arms, just below his shoulders.

"I mean, I don't want to ask any more of you right now," Zack said, pausing to kiss the back of Cloud's shoulder. "You've done enough." Cloud closed his eyes, soothed by the sensation of Zack's lips on his skin.

"Thanks, Zack," he whispered.

"There are towels in the bathroom you can use. How about I make breakfast while you get your shower?" Zack asked, in between placing kisses on his partner's tender shoulder.

"Okay..."

The SOLDIER raised his eyebrows slightly at the boy's tone.

"Is there something else you wanna say?"

"Zack, do you think this is what it's like? Being a couple? Living with someone you love?"

"What do you mean?" Zack asked. Cloud paused for a minute as he tried to put his thoughts into words.

"I don't really know either. Maybe it's because of last night, but it's just— I feel really close to you right now, and this kind of feels like our own place, you know? We wake up after a night like last night, and we go about a normal morning routine. You make breakfast, I get showered— I guess, it doesn't really feel like we're at Shinra. It's more like... home."

Zack gently spun Cloud around to face him.

"This feels like home?" he asked, his heart feeling lighter than a feather.

"Yeah. Now more than ever," Cloud said, not minding that Zack could now see his rose-coloured cheeks. Zack took Cloud's hands in his own, and gazed into his blue eyes.

"I really hope that someday we will have a home together. A real home."

"It would be nice," the younger male whispered, momentarily imagining what a normal life in their own place might be like.

"I wonder where we'd live. Ah, who cares as long as we'd be together, right?" Zack grinned, which earned a nod and a smile from the younger man.

"But until then, I'm happy here," Cloud said, rubbing his nose against Zack's. Zack's lips remained in a fixed grin.

"Yeah. This can be our home for now." Zack paused to kiss the boy's lips. "Our own little home."

* * *

><p>Cloud was pleased to smell the sweet scent of pancakes as he emerged from the bathroom.<p>

"Mmm. Good thing I'm hungry," he said, making his way towards the kitchen. Zack turned around and smiled at the sight of the shirtless Cloud, his hair still damp.

"I know. They smell good, don't they? And, come here," Zack coaxed. The younger boy approached the stove and stared down at the contents of the frying pan.

"They're heart-shaped," Cloud commented, chuckling slightly when Zack nodded wildly. The SOLDIER threw an arm around the blond's waist, and squeezed him.

"Yeah, some of them are kind of deformed, but I tried," Zack said, glancing at the plate on the counter.

"I think it's sweet of you to make these. Kind of corny, but sweet." Cloud looked up at Zack as he spoke, and they both smiled.

"Guess that's just the kind of guy I am."

* * *

><p>Once they had eaten, and once Zack had gotten a shower himself, he sat down on the couch beside Cloud and put an arm around him. Cloud kept his eyes on the TV show he was watching, but smiled when he felt the contact. Zack's heart felt lighter merely by seeing Cloud's reaction to his presence. He watched that beautiful, snow-white face as Cloud concentrated on the TV screen. Zack really did love everything about this boy—the way Cloud blushed when he tried to speak his mind, the way Cloud's hand was so timidly trying to make its way to his own. He hated to think the next morning wouldn't be as pleasant as this one.<p>

"Listen, love, I don't really want to bring it up, but—"

Cloud turned his head, looking alarmed.

"No, no. It's nothing _too_ bad. It's just that I have that mission tomorrow," Zack explained, a look of guilt on his face.

"Oh, right," Cloud said, relaxing again, and turning his attention back to the television.

"I'll leave it up to you whether you come with me or not, alright?" Zack watched the boy as he spoke, and Cloud turned to give him a serious look.

"Okay, but Zack, I already said—"

"I know. And I won't stop you, I promise. If you choose to go, that's one thing. But if I encourage you to go, and you get hurt, I'll hate myself. What I'm trying to say is just think it over, okay?" Zack asked, squeezing Cloud's hand when it touched his own.

"I have," Cloud smiled, and Zack couldn't help but return that smile.

They watched the show for a few more minutes before Zack's phone rang, and he went running for it. Cloud looked just as disappointed as Zack did when he re-entered the room.

"You have to leave, right?" Cloud asked.

"Unfortunately, yeah. I'm supposed to meet with Sephiroth to find out about this mission."

Cloud lowered his eyes to the floor, and kept them there.

"Don't look so glum, Sunshine. It'll only be for a little while. You can stay here and wait for me if you want," Zack said, walking towards the couch.

"I was enjoying our day together," Cloud said, as he started to fiddle with his hands. Zack sat down beside him and stared at him for a minute, trying to figure him out.

"Yeah, I know, but we can hang out some more later. I promise." Zack paused for a minute. "Is something bothering you?"

"N-not bothering me, really," the blond mumbled, the anxious twiddling of his thumbs a clear indication that something was on his mind. Zack enclosed Cloud's restless hands in his own, hoping that would calm him, as he tried to get the boy to meet his eyes.

"What is it?" the SOLDIER asked. Cloud was silent for a long while, then finally looked up at Zack.

"Everything is different now, isn't it? Now that we've—" The boy shut his mouth before he could get the words out. Zack sighed, and stroked one of Cloud's hands with his thumb.

"I guess it is a bit different. But we did what we did last night because we love each other, and we wanted to be close to each other. All those feelings that made us act that way... I think last night kind of made them all sink in. We're really sure of what we feel."

"And... that's why I told you I love you. B-because I felt close to you."

"That's right," Zack said, nodding. Cloud averted his gaze again, but Zack continued to watch him carefully, growing slightly anxious from Cloud's nervous behaviour.

"Should we not have done it? I mean, d-do you regret it?" Zack asked. Cloud met his gaze almost immediately.

"No, not at all!" he reassured Zack. "I... I don't think I could ever regret it," Cloud whispered. Zack smiled and brought Cloud's hands to his lips, kissing them.

"I know what you mean."

Cloud smiled, then shook his head, freeing himself from the sappy moment. He immediately felt embarrassed by what he had said, and Zack could tell, but Zack's smile reassured him that everything was okay.

"So, I guess I should get going," Zack said, standing up, and stretching his arms above his head.

"Yeah. Maybe I should get back to my room." Cloud got up as well and went into Zack's room to find and put on the rest of his uniform. Once he and Zack had both gotten back into their Shinra attire, they entered the kitchen to put their boots on.

"I'll see you later, then?" Cloud asked, once he had finished tying his laces. Zack stood up and put a hand on his partner's shoulder.

"Yeah. Cloud, can you do me a favour?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"You remember when we went out into the field that night when we first started dating?" Zack asked.

"Yeah?"

"Will you meet me there tonight? Seven o'clock?"

"Sure, but why?" Cloud asked.

"I want to go there before I have to leave tomorrow. I don't know when the mission will be over, so I thought it might be nice to get out. Just you and me."

"It _would_ be nice. I'll be there."

"Mm-kay. I'll see you tonight," Zack smiled, placing a hand on the doorknob.

"Wait, Zack."

The SOLDIER glanced back at the younger man who stood on his tiptoes. Cloud pressed his lips to his partner's, then smiled when the kiss ended.

"Okay. Now you have permission to leave."

Zack grinned.

* * *

><p>Kunsel had woken up in a better mood than usual. Having a good breakfast helped add to the positive energy. He got in the elevator, heading for the SOLDIER floor. He was in the mood for a good training mission.<p>

He heard the elevator _ding_ before he had arrived at his destination, and three other members of SOLDIER got on, seeming already deep in conversation. That was one thing Kunsel liked: gossip.

"Yeah, I swear. Fair's room is right above mine, and I know what I heard," one of them said.

"Oh, I know! I had to walk by his door to get to mine, and all I could think was _someone's gettin' lucky_," another chuckled.

Kunsel was thankful that his helmet covered most of his face. The shocked smile that had found its way to his lips was not going anywhere fast.

"It was definitely another man, too. Could tell from the voice," the first added.

"Didn't know Zack was into men! But I suppose that's what being locked up in this lonely place'll do to ya."

"I bet it was that second class. That, um, Kunsel fellow," the third man said, waving a hand in the air.

Kunsel just barely managed to stifle a snort. It was certainly an amusing thought, but the guy was totally wrong.

"No way. My bet is on that Strife guy. He and Zack are together more than the night sky is with the stars," one of them said.

"Whoever it was, by the sound of it, Fair gave him a pretty good fu—"

"Now, now, boys. It isn't nice to talk about peoples' private lives," Kunsel jumped in. He nearly burst out laughing, as that was the most hypocritical thing he could ever, and _would_ ever, say in his life. But really, enough was enough. When it involved his friends, gossip, for Kunsel, was only amusing to a point.

For the first time, the three men turned to look at Kunsel who was standing in the back corner of the elevator, arms folded. Kunsel wasn't sure if they had even noticed him before he'd spoken.

"Hey, were you guys down to the cafeteria yet today?" Kunsel asked, hoping to get the conversation away from his friends. The men shook their heads in response to the question, but seemed uninterested.

"Oh, well, there was a fight down there today! The place is still covered in blood and blueberry pancakes from where two guys had it out!" he lied, desperate to distract them.

The elevator doors opened as it reached the next floor, and the three men got off. Kunsel sighed, partly in relief, and partly out of sympathy for Cloud and Zack. Why was it that even at their happiest of times, there was always something ready to snuff some of the light out of it? The 2nd got off at his destination, and headed for the training room. Hopefully neither of them would care what people were saying. Kunsel decided he would do his best to keep them safe from anything that caused a threat to them. After all, that's what friends were for. And hell, he was a pretty damn awesome friend.

* * *

><p>Zack was already in the field when Cloud got there that evening. Cloud smiled as he approached the other man, who had already laid out a blanket for them.<p>

"Hey, long time, no see," Zack teased, standing up from his spot on the blanket and pulling Cloud into a quick hug.

"Yeah, I know. It's been forever," the blond mumbled, sarcastically, his voice practically getting lost in the embrace. Zack let him go, and they both sat down on the blanket.

"How was the meeting?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, it was okay. You know Sephiroth. Not real sociable, but whatever," Zack said, bringing one knee up to his chest, and resting his hand on it.

"What did you find out?"

"Mm, not much. Only vague details. Sephiroth said he wasn't at liberty to discuss everything yet. I'm not sure why."

Cloud watched Zack for a long moment, the older male looking so thoughtful as he gazed up at the sky—thoughtful, and amazingly attractive, Cloud thought.

"Cloud, I think Tseng might know... About us," Zack said, after a minute. The blond's jaw fell slightly.

"W-what? Why do you think that?"

"I dunno. I think I may have dropped too many hints. Especially when I asked if you could come with me on my mission." Cloud was silent for a minute, and focused his eyes on the grass below him. His stomach felt tight, like his nerves were all in a bundle.

"I have a feeling other people might know, too," Cloud whispered. Zack turned his head to look at him.

"How so?"

"I ran into Kunsel today, and he... He said some weird things. Like, not to worry about what people say because life is too short to let it ruin the good times. And that, um, I shouldn't be ashamed because love is too special to give up." Cloud kept his eyes on the ground, and waited for a response.

"That _is_... kind of weird. But, hey, don't let it get to you. He was probably just being supportive," Zack said, picking up a piece of grass, analyzing it, then flicking it away with his gloved fingertips.

"I'm just kind of worried," Cloud said, tucking both knees up to his chest, and burying his face in them.

"Why?"

"I'm worried that if people at Shinra know, they might— I don't know, try to keep us apart or something."

Zack was silent for a minute, watching Cloud sit there in his curled up position, then he chuckled and ruffled the boy's blond spikes.

"Well, I'd like to see them try."

Cloud looked up, surprised by Zack's lack of anxiety. Of course, he probably should have figured out by now that Zack was pretty laid back—not to mention _brave_—about most things.

"It would be horrible if they did. It's so hard to be apart," Cloud said, closing his eyes as if it was difficult for him to even think about.

"I know. But I think Tseng's known for a while and he hasn't done anything. Kunsel promised he wouldn't tell in order to keep us safe, and— Hmm, who else knows?" Zack asked.

"Luxiere."

"Oh, right. And he's not gonna tell on us, is he?"

"I don't think he would," Cloud answered.

"See? We're gonna be okay. Besides, I'd put up one hell of a fight if they tried to take you from me."

Cloud wanted to smile. After all, those words made him feel so loved, but he couldn't shake the worry.

"Zack?"

Their eyes met, and Cloud bravely leaned his weary head against Zack's shoulder. The SOLDIER smiled and, not having to be asked, wrapped his arms around his partner. Zack let his head rest gently on top of Cloud's.

Cloud stared up at the sky above them. It made him feel so small, and he suddenly realized that his relationship with Zack was such a small part of the world; he'd just never really had the chance to step back and view it that way. Living in the now, focusing on his own life and problems—everything had seemed so important, so big. But the fact that they were just two people who were part of a huge world made everything seem somehow simpler. Maybe he really didn't need to worry about who knew about them, or what people said. They were all just tiny parts of a bigger plan too.

"What are you thinking about?" Zack asked after several wordless moments had passed.

"Stars. People."

"Oh, yeah?"

"And you," Cloud added.

"And me, huh? What does your little mind say about me?" Zack asked, raising his head up so he could look at him.

"Good things."

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Just how important you are to me, and how lucky I am to have you. You make me feel so special, and you— Why are you looking at me like that?" Cloud asked, trying not to crack a smile when he saw how wildly Zack was grinning at him. He had been trying to be serious.

"You're so cute when you talk like a total sap," Zack laughed. Cloud's mouth formed the perfect "o" shape.

"I was not—" Cloud sighed, realizing he _was_ being sappy. _Again_.

"Well, it's your own fault, Mister. I learned it from you," the infantryman muttered, hanging his head low, trying to hide the smile that had taken over due to Zack's contagious one. There was no point in hiding it. Zack could see it, and he took advantage of it.

"I can see that, you know? That smile. It's right... about... there," Zack teased, tracing a finger up Cloud's neck, tickling him. Cloud squealed, and started laughing.

"See? Told you!" Zack laughed.

"Fine! Zack— I-I said fine!" Cloud screeched out between bursts of laughter as Zack continued to tickle his neck, and he tried to get away from the contact.

"Okay, okay," Zack said, ceasing his taunting actions, and kissing the boy on the cheek. "I'll let you off easy." Cloud let out a few last chuckles, and eventually rested his head on Zack's shoulder again once he was sure Zack wasn't going to put another sneak tickle attack on him.

They relaxed, and sat there for a few more minutes, soaking up the night air.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" Cloud asked.

"Don't know. Whenever Sephiroth calls me."

"I see."

"Oh yeah, speaking of call..." Zack said, then turned to dig in his bag beside him. "I almost forgot to give it to you." Zack turned back around and handed Cloud a little red box, which looked like it had been wrapped by Zack himself. Cloud's eyes flickered curiously back and forth between the box and his partner, then Cloud tore open the wrapping after an encouraging nod from Zack.

"A cell phone?" Cloud asked when he'd unveiled the box's content.

"Yeah. Wish I could say I bought it. It's actually one of Shinra's, but I requested one for you. I told them I needed my requested backup to have one. This way, whether you go with me tomorrow or not, we can keep in touch. Oh, and I _did _buy the wrapping paper for it," Zack smiled, putting an expression of exaggerated pride on his face, making Cloud laugh.

"That's really sweet. And the phone's a really good idea."

"Uh-huh. Because, now, not only do you get to see me all the time, but I get to call you whenever I want," Zack grinned. Cloud gave him a sincere smile.

"Really, Zack, this is great. Thanks."

"So, are you gonna call me, too?"

"Mm, yeah. I think there's probably a good chance of that," Cloud said, pretending to think it over.

"Oh, you little tease. Get over here," Zack chuckled, throwing an arm around Cloud's neck, and pulling him over for a noogie.

"You're awful clingy tonight," Cloud observed, not that he minded Zack touching him.

"Aren't I always when you're around?"

"Good point. But I'd say you're even more clingy usual."

Their eyes met, and they smiled, knowing that it was probably a result of the night before.

"Listen, about tomorrow. I think I should go see Aerith in the morning and say goodbye since I won't see her for a while. Is that okay?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe I'll go see Luxiere while you're gone, and see how he's settling in," Cloud said.

"Okay."

"Maybe I should sleep in my own room tonight. We could probably use a good rest before that mission."

Cloud really did hate the thought of sleeping alone after everything they had been through, but he didn't want to be up half the night talking, or kissing, or whatever would end up happening if he stayed at Zack's.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Wait, so does that mean you're coming with me?" Zack asked.

"I don't know why you keep doubting that. You're not leaving me behind, okay?" Cloud said, locking his hand with Zack's.

Zack smiled a sincere smile, because in all honesty, he was proud that Cloud was willing to go with him. Besides, getting to see Cloud's beautiful face every day while he was away from Shinra could hardly be considered a bad thing.

"Okay. Welcome aboard, Cadet Strife."

* * *

><p>AN: ...Don't hate me for taking sooooo long to get this up! Blame school! It's all school's fault! haha. It's actually exam week, but luckily I had time to throw this up here. I know, I know, it's late. There's hopefully lots of cuteness in this chapter, though, right?

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I've never said this, but new readers are welcome to review at any time, too. Don't worry if you're reviewing an older chapter. I love feedback (though I don't want to seem greedy for reviews)!

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I think I've changed the way I use punctuation several times throughout this story. I checked one of my books tonight, though, while I was editing this chapter, and hopefully I've got it sorted out right. Hopefully it's not a big deal if I got some stuff wrong along the way. See you all soon for chapter 20!


	20. Chapter 20

Cloud woke up the next morning with a fluttering sensation in his stomach. It had been a long while since he'd been on a mission, and even longer since he'd been on one with Zack. Of course, there had been the mission in Modeoheim when they'd first met, and the time in Junon when they'd unexpectedly run into each other and Cloud had been trying not to throw his guts up. This time, he felt he had to prove to Zack that he was strong and that Zack didn't have to worry about him every second he was on the battlefield. He knew Zack wouldn't care if he was the weakest one out there, but he wanted him to have enough peace of mind to focus on the mission at hand.

Cloud rolled over and picked up his new cell phone, then clicked the buttons until he saw Zack's name as his one and only contact. He smiled. It really would be nice to be able to talk to Zack whenever he wanted to. He sort of wanted to call him right then just to tell him good morning, but decided against it in case Zack was sleeping in or something. Besides, he would see him later and he had his own things that needed doing. Cloud rolled out of bed a moment later, and grabbed a towel out of the tiny cupboard beside the door. He had to get cleaned up before he went visiting.

* * *

><p>Luxiere stared at himself in the large bathroom mirror. The 2nd class uniform seemed to weigh him down, almost making him look unnatural. It was as if it was too big on him. Luxiere felt as if the material was sagging on his body, but he could see that it was a near perfect fit. Maybe it was because he wasn't used to it yet, or maybe it was the new obligations that came with the uniform, but something certainly didn't feel right.<p>

Even the new apartment didn't feel like it belonged to him. It was too big and too empty. Truth be told, he really missed having Cloud around. He'd always had someone to talk to, someone who could relate to what he was going through—being an infantryman and working to become SOLDIER. Now he was here, and Cloud wasn't, and that little fact did nothing but keep eating away at him.

On top of that, the information that Heidegger had asked him for didn't seem like it could be used for anything good. In fact, the mere thought of Cloud made Luxiere sick with guilt as of late. Yet, he didn't feel like he could possibly give up what he'd gained. After all, he was a SOLDIER now. He couldn't just take a step backwards.

Luxiere jumped at the sound of a knock on his door. He scrambled through the kitchen, feeling somewhat naked having left his helmet on the bathroom sink. He hoped his visitor wasn't a superior who would criticize him for lacking his _entire _SOLDIER uniform. His breath seemed to stick in his lungs when he opened the door.

"Cloud! What a surprise!" he said, relieved when he was actually able to make a noise.

"How are you doing?" Cloud asked, smiling.

"Good. Uh, _great_, even. Come on in," the SOLDIER said, holding the door open.

Cloud entered and sat down at the kitchen table when he was invited to. He took a good look around. The layout of the apartment was similar to Zack's, except for a few minor differences in placement of furniture. It was smaller, too.

"Nice place. Do you like it?" Cloud asked, bringing his eyes back to his friend.

"Yeah, it's okay. I'm just starting to get used to it. It's only been a couple of days," Luxiere reminded him.

"Right."

Silence hit them, and Cloud suddenly noticed how uncomfortable his friend looked.

"So, how is it? Being in SOLDIER, I mean?"

"It's... good. Different."

Silence again.

"Is everything okay? Did I come at a bad time?" Cloud asked, watching Luxiere as he sat in the chair across from him, tapping his fingers on the table, anxiously.

"No, I'm fine. Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night," Luxiere said, hoping his smile didn't look as strained as it felt. At least that last part had been true; all that worrying _had_ recently made sleep hard to come by.

"Well, I won't stay long. I just wanted to see how you're doing, and tell you that I'm going on a mission," the younger man said.

"Oh, yeah? What mission?" Luxiere asked, though he hated himself for it. He knew he would have to feed all this information right back to the boss when he was done.

"To investigate a reactor. I'm not sure where. Sephrioth won't tell Zack the details until we we're all ready to go," Cloud explained. He was still kind of wary of Luxiere's odd behaviour, but was pleased to see his friend taking an interest in this turn in the conversation.

"Oh, so you're going with Zack?"

"And Sephiroth," Cloud added, trying to keep the blush off his face.

"Wow. Two 1st's, huh? Doesn't get much better than that, especially since you admire them both so much," Luxiere said.

"I always wanted to go on a mission with Sephiroth because he's been the top SOLDIER around here for years, but now I'm kind of more excited about going with Zack, even though I see him all the time."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"I don't know. I guess it's kind of cool being his 'requested backup'. Plus, it'll be sort of fun to go on a mission together. We can help each other fight and stuff." Cloud's face seemed to glow with delight as he spoke.

"That's understandable. So, I take it you two patched things up the other night? Things are going okay?"

"The other night?" Cloud blushed when he realized to which night the man was referring. "O-oh, yeah. We fixed things up."

"That's good." Luxiere gave him a sincere smile this time. He _was_ happy for them after all, but the guilt felt like it was burning his insides.

"Oh, yeah. Zack got me a cell phone. I was thinking we could exchange numbers. Maybe that way our friendship won't fall apart."

"Mm, yeah, sure," Luxiere answered.

...

Once they had swapped phone numbers, they sat in silence for another minute.

"I guess I should get going. Zack could call anytime, so I should go get ready."

"Okay," Luxiere answered, following Cloud to the door. The blond boy paused for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"You're _sure_ you're okay?" he asked once more.

"I'm sure. Really, I'm fine," Luxiere nodded.

Cloud sighed—louder than he'd intended to—and accepted that he wasn't going to get another answer out of the guy.

"Well, I hope to see you in a few days," Cloud said, outstretching his hand. Luxiere shook it.

"Right. Good luck on your mission."

"Thanks." Cloud opened the door and headed down the hall with a wave.

"Bye," Luxiere called out, then closed the door behind his friend and stared at the floor. He was glad he'd been wearing his uniform gloves for that handshake; his anxiety had always resulted in sweaty palms.

* * *

><p>Cloud grabbed a bite of breakfast after visiting Luxiere, and was on his way back to his room when his phone rang.<p>

"Hey, I just got the call from Sephiroth. We're supposed to meet on the SOLDIER floor in fifteen minutes. Are you ready?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, I just need to grab my stuff, but I'm almost back at my room now," Cloud answered, just the sound of Zack's voice making him smile—not to mention his breathing seemed harder to control than usual as his excitement rose into his chest.

"Okay, good. Oh, yeah, Sephiroth doesn't know I requested you. If we can play it up when we see each other, it might be a good idea... Just in case he's watching and gets suspicious."

"Um, what do you mean?"

"I dunno. Just act like acquaintances," Zack said, into the phone.

Cloud raised his eyebrows, then realized Zack couldn't see his confused expression.

"I... guess I can do that."

"Hey, Cloud?" Zack said, checking to make sure Aerith hadn't come out of the church and could hear him—he was in the slums visiting her.

"I love you."

Cloud smiled. He opened the door to his room and slipped inside, closing the door behind him.

"I love you, too," he half-whispered, wanting to keep his voice down. Who knew who could be listening on the other side of those walls? Zack grinned on the other end of the phone, and Cloud swore he could almost hear it.

"I love making you say that now that you actually will," the SOLDIER said. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that feeling," he answered, pretending he was irritated, but in reality was glowing with happiness; Zack could tell, and gave a light chuckle.

"I'll see you in a few minutes, then?"

"Yeah. See you," Cloud smiled, closing his phone when he heard Zack hang up. He grabbed his rifle from beside his bed, slung his bag over his back, and took one last glance around the small room before heading off to meet Zack. Little did he know that this would be the last time he would ever see that room. All those memories he and Luxiere had shared there, even his and Zack's first real kisses had taken place there... But that was all there ever would be.

* * *

><p>Zack stood alone in the hallway of the SOLDIER floor, arms crossed, waiting for the infantrymen who were due to arrive any minute. He figured Cloud would at least be on time, but there was no sign of him, nor anyone else. He sighed, then turned around when he heard the ding of the elevator.<p>

"Oh, hey, Zack. I heard you're going on a new assignment with Sephiroth," Kunsel said, walking towards him. Zack smiled at the sight of his friend.

"I've also received new orders to inspect the mako reactor at Fort Condor," the 2nd said. Zack frowned.

"Fort Condor again? I guess I didn't do a good enough job when I was there."

"No way, man. You were there to tackle the monsters, which you did. All I get is a dumb little mission to make sure a big hunk of metal is working properly." Zack joined Kunsel in grinning when he realized the man was partly joking.

"I'm sure it won't be so bad," Zack told him.

"Yeah, but looks like we won't see each other for a while." Even with his helmet on, Zack could see he looked slightly disappointed. He just wasn't sure if Kunsel was seriously upset, or just putting on a pouty face for his benefit; it wasn't always easy to tell with him.

"Yeah, I guess this is goodbye..." Zack said, hanging his head low. He truly was disappointed to be leaving for a while. After all, it was hard to say goodbye to Kunsel after he'd been so protective of him and Cloud.

"Hey, why the long face? Are you that sad to see me go?" Kunsel asked, and Zack decided that Kunsel _had_ been taunting him with that pout of his. Zack suddenly realized how stupid he must have looked getting all emotional like that. He mustered his wild grin and brought his head back up.

"I'm sad because ...I love you, man!"

"Haha, thanks, Za— Wait a minute, you're not gonna miss me. Cloud's going with you, right?"

"Yeah, but I _will_ miss you," Zack pouted back. Kunsel laughed.

"Seriously, though..." Zack said, not really knowing where to start.

"Uh-huh?"

"I guess I just want to thank you for looking out for us. I really appreciated you keeping quiet about everything. I know Cloud did, too." Zack stared down as he kicked his foot back and forth against the tiled floor, getting more embarrassed about the act of gratitude than he'd expected he would.

"That's nice to hear. And I want to apologize. I don't think I was all that nice to Cloud in the beginning, but maybe you could tell him that I'm sorry about that. He's actually a pretty cool kid," Kunsel said, giving Zack a thumbs-up.

"Thanks. I'll tell him."

"Speaking of Cloud..." Kunsel said.

Zack spun around when he saw Kunsel looking past him, and let his eyes rest on the blond boy. Cloud was looking around the SOLDIER floor in amazement as if it was the circus. Zack supposed he should have realized that Cloud had never been in this part of the building before. He sure was cute, though, staring at his surroundings like an excited child. Zack let out a soft sigh.

"I want to spend my life with him," he said, not immediately realizing that the words in his head had actually made it past his mouth. Kunsel raised a brow and smirked.

"Isn't it a bit soon to be thinking about the rest of your life?" the 2nd asked. Zack blushed slightly, then shook it off. There was nothing to be ashamed of when his thoughts and desires felt this honest.

"With Cloud, I just have this feeling... We're gonna last," Zack said, and Kunsel watched him as he kept his eyes on the boy.

The 2nd wished that someday he could find happiness like they had. The look on Zack's face as he watched his lover was so full of adoration that Kunsel felt a little envious. He was sure, however, that some day he would find a woman who would complete his life the way Cloud completed Zack's and vice versa. Realizing he wasn't going to be able to regain his friend's attention now, Kunsel gave Zack a friendly nudge on the shoulder with his fist, causing Zack to face him again.

"Good luck on your mission, Zack. I hope to see you again soon," he said.

"See you later, man," Zack replied, shaking his friend's hand. "And thanks again."

"Don't mention it." Kunsel waved, then headed off in another direction.

Zack started walking towards the blond, and when he caught his eye, Cloud immediately put up his facade like Zack had told him to, just in case Sephiroth was nearby.

"What's up?" Zack asked, casually. Cloud turned his body to face him.

"I'm having a little trouble rounding up the group," Cloud answered.

"We're in a hurry, let's move it!" Zack ordered, unable to help feeling guilty for talking to Cloud in that tone, even though Cloud knew it was all part of the plan.

"Sir!" Cloud stood at attention, his posture stiffening and his arms sticking close to his sides.

"Wha— Cloud?" Zack pointed at the blond, a look of false shock on his face. That shock was quickly replaced with a smile.

"Together again, eh? All right," he said, his fist meeting Cloud's in a friendly greeting. Cloud smiled a real, non-forced smile as he could no longer control his excitement. Yes, that uncomfortable feeling of anxiety was still set firmly in his stomach, but Zack was here now. Everything, he was sure, would be okay.

"Thanks. Hold on, I'll get everyone." With that, Cloud sprinted off, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep that grin off his face if he stayed near Zack any longer. Zack stood back and watched him go, a smile also etched onto his own face as that thought continued to swirl around in his head. _Yeah, I want to spend my life with him_.

...

It didn't take long for Cloud to round up the other two infantrymen. Zack got the three of them to line up so Sephiroth would be impressed when he got there. That didn't take long either; Sephiroth arrived within minutes. Zack watched the postures of the infantrymen stiffen when the silver-haired 1st came into view.

Zack glanced at Cloud quickly so no one would notice, and he could see the boy's excitement even through his cool expression. Zack knew this was a big deal for him, and it was nice for him, too, to see Cloud this happy.

"By the way, where are we going?" Zack asked Sephiroth, after a moment. The 1st turned to him, and at first, Zack was unsure of whether he was going to answer or not.

"To Nibelheim," came the man's response.

Cloud's jaw dropped in surprise and his eyes widened. His reaction did not go unnoticed by Zack. At that moment, Zack couldn't think of why this news shocked the boy, but he didn't have time to dwell on it, as Sephiroth gave a command right then and the group was forced to head for the truck.

* * *

><p>Cloud was quiet during the truck ride to their first destination. Whether that was because he and Zack were in the open back of the truck with two other infantrymen, because he was getting motion sick, or because of some entirely different reason, Zack wasn't sure. They sat across from each other, exchanging brief glances and smiles from time to time. Zack hoped they would get some time alone during the mission. He liked being able to talk freely with Cloud, and he had a feeling Cloud would want to further discuss what had happened between them two nights ago. Zack certainly wouldn't object either; there were things he wanted to say, too.<p>

Zack had been entertaining the other men with stories and jokes during the ride. He was kind of glad that Sephiroth had taken the passenger's seat inside the vehicle. For one thing, he doubted the 1st would appreciate his humour like the other men did. For another, Zack had a suspicion that Sephiroth might figure out his connection with Cloud before the others did. The man just seemed kind of observant like that.

They stopped at Junon, and had to wait for the boat that would take them to Costa Del Sol. If Cloud hadn't looked green before, he certainly turned that sickly shade when Sephiroth led the men onto the ship. Zack remembered Cloud being sick when they had met up in Junon a few months prior. He felt awful for dragging Cloud along when all the means of transportation made him as sick as a dog, but he knew Cloud wouldn't have it any other way. The boy would follow him regardless of the circumstances; he'd learned that the night they had showed each other just how in love they were.

While the other men were somewhere inside the ship, Zack took the opportunity to go find his seasick lover. Unfortunately, poor Cloud was on the deck, grabbing onto the railing and staring relentlessly into the deep, murky blue ocean. It was as if he thought keeping his eyes focused on the water would prevent him from throwing up into it.

"You okay, bud?" Zack asked, walking over to the boy and leaning his head down in an attempt to see Cloud's face.

"Uh-huh... A little queasy, but it's better out here than it is inside the boat," Cloud answered, lifting his head up to look at the man beside him. Zack gave him a light rub on the back since no one was there to see the gesture anyway.

"That motion sickness gets you every time, doesn't it?"

"Pretty much. I really don't travel well."

"So, is everything else okay? You seemed awfully quiet in the truck," Zack said, continuing to rub his partner's back.

"I'm fine."

Zack thought Cloud had answered a little too quickly.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sorry, Zack," Cloud said, turning his head back to look into the water again. "Maybe we can talk later. I don't want to throw up in the middle of our conversation."

Zack gave him a look of sympathy, but Cloud didn't see it due to his concentration on the ocean below him. Zack sighed, wanting to be able to help him further, but knowing there wasn't much he could do.

"Feel better, okay? Just give me a shout if you need me. I don't mind staying with you even if you _are_ getting sick all over the deck."

Cloud forced a chuckle.

"Okay. Thanks."

Zack turned to walk away, but Cloud stopped him.

"Um, actually, Zack...?"

"Yeah? What is it?" Cloud momentarily looked into those mako eyes, and wanted to tell him what was on his mind in that moment. After all, he figured Zack would probably like to hear it, but his embarrassment got the better of him.

"Mm, never mind. It's not important," he mumbled. Despite his curiosity, Zack simply smiled and headed back inside the ship, knowing Cloud would be much more open to talking to him when he was on solid ground again.

* * *

><p>After a night's stay in Costa Del Sol and a four hour truck ride the next day, the group finally arrived in Nibelheim. Zack helped a still-slightly-queasy-Cloud out of the back of the vehicle, and proceeded into the town with the rest of the men. Sephiroth led the way just past the entry gate, then stopped in his tracks. The men were silent as they waited for instruction.<p>

"So, how does it feel? To be home after all this time?" the 1st asked. The men, including Zack, were unsure of what he'd meant by the question, but when Sephiroth turned to Cloud, it became obvious. Zack then realized why Cloud had been so stunned by the news that they were going to Nibelheim.

Cloud felt himself blushing underneath his helmet. He didn't know how Sephiroth knew he was from Nibelheim, and to be honest, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer that question. Even if Sephiroth had wanted an answer, Cloud wasn't sure he could have given him one. His mind had been racing since the second he'd laid eyes on the town. _Home. Is it the same? Is Mom okay? Will she want to see me? _Cloud seemed to have many more questions than answers at that point.

"I have no hometown... I wouldn't know," Sephiroth continued when the cadet said nothing.

Sephiroth continued talking after that, but Cloud stopped listening, getting lost in his thoughts instead. His stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots now. Excitement had turned to pure fear. He had little to be afraid of, but coming home after all these years, sending nothing but a few letters every now and then... It was difficult to lunge right back into his old life.

Cloud felt a nudge on his shoulder from another infantryman, and he broke free of his thoughts and took his position at the gate as Zack followed Sephiroth into the town. His stomach grew even more unsettled as his eyes set themselves on a familiar brunette introducing herself to the two SOLDIERs. That girl had grown up a lot since Cloud had last seen her. Not only had she grown taller, but her body had certainly matured as well. Cloud suddenly felt like he hadn't grown at all. He didn't feel any taller, any more mature. What was worse than that was that little promise from years ago that was knocking against the sides of his brain, attacking him.

Cloud was instantly ashamed. He wasn't in the job position he was supposed to be in; he was supposed to be in SOLDIER by now. If Tifa knew— No, she could never know. Cloud was suddenly more thankful than he'd ever been for the uncomfortable, yet concealing, helmet covering his face. It had been a wise decision to wear it. He began to fidget, however, at the mere thought of what Tifa would do if she knew that he and Zack were— No, she could never know that either. She wouldn't understand. Cloud had been in his hometown now for probably a minute and a half, and he'd already found the answer to Sephiroth's question: coming home wasn't easy at all.

* * *

><p>Thoughts of Tifa and his mom stayed on Cloud's mind all afternoon, and with Zack out exploring the town, there was nothing to distract him. <em>Zack...<em> He debated once again telling him about what was on his mind earlier on the ship, but he was shy—_afraid_ even, of what Zack might think. Then it occurred to him. He could just send it in a text since he and Zack could communicate by phone now. Glancing around to make sure he wasn't being watched—particularly by Sephiroth—he took out his phone and began to type.

Zack was inside the inn when his phone beeped, and he checked his one unread message, smiling when he saw it was from Cloud. Zack clicked on the message titled "I wanted to tell you," and began to read:

_We've been on a few missions together, and _

_there's something I've been meaning to tell you. _

_I was thinking about telling you once we were _

_in my hometown, but it's a little embarrassing, _

_so I'm going to write it out and send it to you. _

_The day you changed your hair, when you wished us rookies _

_good luck before our sortie—I'll never forget your words. _

_Remembering what you said that day gives me the courage _

_to stay strong. _

_So...thanks, Zack. _

Zack's eyebrows furrowed into a confused frown, wondering why Cloud was sending this now after they had spent so much time together, after they had _done _so much together. It seemed particularly odd for Cloud to still be so shy with him, especially about something as simple as a speech he'd made months ago. He exited the inn and found Cloud keeping watch at the gate like he was supposed to.

"Can I talk to you for a second, Strife?" Zack asked. Cloud looked up and realized that Zack had addressed him that way to avoid suspicious glances from the infantrymen next to him. Cloud nodded and followed Zack over to the water well in the centre of the circle of houses.

"That day that you mentioned in your message... That was the day you realized you liked me, wasn't it?" Zack asked, arms folded.

"Wha—? How did you know?" Cloud asked, keeping his voice quiet.

"Just a guess. I didn't know what else it could be since you're just telling me now, and— Are you blushing under there?" Zack asked, pointing to the helmet hiding his face.

"Yeah, I'm just kind of embarrassed about it."

"Why?"

"I liked you for so long, even before we were friends. I thought you might think I was weird," Cloud mumbled, feeling uneasy about having this conversation in the dead centre of town.

"Cloud, sweetie, come on. I would never think that. I thought you'd realize that after all we've been through," Zack said, wanting so desperately to touch him in some comforting way, but knowing he couldn't—too many prying eyes around.

"That's kind of why I told you, though. _Because_ we've been through so much. I thought you should know how much I admire you not just as a partner, but as a SOLDIER. A hero."

That word rang out in Zack's mind like a giant alarm.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. '_Hero_'?"

"Y-yeah..." Cloud uttered, starting to regret ever having sent that text message.

_How is it that Cloud always says the right thing, even when he doesn't realize it?_ Zack wondered. After all, Cloud had no idea that becoming a hero was his dream. And becoming _Cloud's _hero_... _now, that was even more special. Zack grinned, though Cloud didn't understand why, and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Don't call me a hero yet. Just wait 'till I do something cool!" Zack laughed, as he walked off towards the inn once again. Cloud watched him walk away, and just shook his head, chuckling. Zack could be kind of a goofball at times.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey, everybody! I know, I'm so bad. I said I'd be back to weekly updates, and I failed. But, I didn't wait a full two weeks either. So I'm only partly bad. Anyway...

Since there aren't a whole lot of chapters left, I think I might keep updating every two weeks. I like uploading this story, and I don't want it to be over. Hopefully the wait will be worth it, and hopefully you won't all be too disappointed. I'm not saying I won't throw in an early chapter once in a while. Surprises are good, right?

As for this chapter, there are a lot of quotes (Kunsel's, Sephiroth's, Zack's, & Cloud's) taken right from scenes in Crisis Core. Also, Cloud's text message to Zack was in Crisis Core, and I really wanted to tie all these events from the game into this story. So, if some of this stuff looks familiar, that's why. This is just how I decided to work all this stuff in (ex: Cloud and Zack's little "I'm having a little trouble rounding up the group" scene). I love the comments I've been getting from every one of you! They make me so happy!

Make sure you come back for the next chapter. It's one of my favourites! See you all soon, and enjoy your week!


	21. Chapter 21

Sephiroth woke all the men up early the next morning so they would have plenty of daylight for travelling to the reactor. Tifa led the way out of the village, and insisted that she was capable of fighting if need be, though Sephiroth repeatedly told her that that would not be necessary. Though Zack didn't know why, Cloud stayed hidden under his helmet once again. He was almost positive it had something to do with the fact that he was in his hometown again, and his timid personality was probably getting the better of him. Zack didn't want to pry, though. Cloud would come to him if he wanted to talk about it.

They hadn't gotten very far from the town before monsters started appearing. Zack watched proudly as Cloud helped him cut down enemy after enemy. The boy had improved in leaps and bounds since Zack had first started training him along with the other infantrymen. That seemed so long ago now, but so much had happened in those few wonderful months. It was sometimes hard to believe how different, not to mention lonely, life had been before, and how quickly they had adjusted to being together.

Despite the battles they fought along the way, getting to the reactor turned out to be the easy part. The actual investigation had quite honestly been a disaster from start to finish. Zack didn't even know where to begin. Genesis had showed up and revealed to Sephiroth what should never have been revealed: Sephiroth was _far from human_. From a mix of Jenova's cells, large amounts of mako, and Gaia only knew what else, Sephiroth had been _made into_...whatever being he was.

By the time Zack had made it outside the reactor, both Sephiroth and Genesis were gone, and Cloud was lying wounded on the ground after having been attacked. Zack cursed as he ran to his partner's side, regretting having left him outside on his own to keep Tifa away from the reactor. There was no part of that investigation that Zack could say had gone well.

Tifa helped carry Cloud back into town while Zack warded off monsters. He was sure Cloud's injury wasn't serious, otherwise, he would have tended to him back at the reactor. Still, he knew he wouldn't feel at ease until Cloud was alert enough tell him that he was okay. Even then, Zack wasn't sure if all his worries would go away. There was a feeling in the back of his mind that something bad—something _worse_—was going to happen. He also found himself dwelling on a question that hadn't stopped nagging him since he had learned about Sephiroth's creation: What was Shinra's ultimate goal in the end?

* * *

><p>Zack was relieved when Cloud woke up that night. He had stayed at the inn by his side all afternoon, just watching, waiting. Cloud panicked as he opened his eyes, not knowing where he was. He sat up quickly, but settled down when he saw Zack sitting on the bed to his left.<p>

"How do you feel?" Zack asked.

"I-I'm okay, I think," Cloud said, brushing a hand gently over the wound which was currently hidden under his uniform. His face scrunched up slightly in pain, but only for a second. "It's not as bad as it was at first."

"Tifa's safe. Don't worry," Zack said, knowing Cloud would probably feel responsible for not being able to protect her. He was right. Cloud shook his head, hugging his knees.

"If only I were SOLDIER," he almost whispered. Why was it that he couldn't be as strong as he wanted to be? Why couldn't he show Zack that he could fight? He had tried so hard, after all. He looked over at his silent partner.

"Zack?"

The man stayed silent for another minute, trying to choose his words carefully. After everything that had happened that afternoon, SOLDIER was the one place that he wanted Cloud to stay far away from. If it was at all possible to do so, then he wanted to keep Cloud safe from all the lies, the danger, and the questions that might never have answers.

"SOLDIER is like a den of monsters. Don't go inside," Zack said. Cloud felt himself tense up. Zack never talked like this. His tone sounded so dark, and Cloud could tell from his eyes that he'd had a rough day. Cloud readjusted his position on the bed before speaking again.

"What happened?"

Zack was quiet for another long moment, thinking, but not coming up with any answers to what seemed like a simple question.

"I don't know, man... I thought I knew, but..."

Cloud continued to watch as Zack sighed and threw himself back on the bed, hands behind his head, looking defeated. Both stayed quiet for another moment, then Zack spoke.

"By the way, do you know Tifa?"

Cloud felt like every nerve in his body had caused him tension in that moment. He looked away from Zack, almost as if in shame, and pulled his knees up again.

"Sort of," he answered, hanging his head low so Zack couldn't see his face very well. That had been the biggest lie Cloud had probably ever told. He didn't just _sort of_ know Tifa. Tifa used to be his _only_ friend. Not only that, but that promise he had made to her all those years ago... Well, he hadn't exactly fulfilled it today. In fact, he had failed miserably.

"Talked to her?" Zack asked.

"No."

"I'm sensing some issues here," Zack said, sitting up again to look at Cloud. "Shouldn't you do something?"

Cloud fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling Zack's gaze on him. He thought maybe he should just tell Zack everything that was on his mind, but he didn't want Zack to feel bad, so he stayed quie about itt. There was always the possibility that Zack might feel threatened by Tifa, that he might think he ruined any chance of a relationship between him and Tifa, and Cloud certainly didn't want him to feel that way.

They continued to talk for a few more minutes, and somehow—though Cloud had no idea what he had said that had caused the dramatic change in Zack's mood—the tensions that both of them had been feeling seemed to melt away. Whatever Zack had remembered about Angeal's sword—the one he carried around with him all the time—had made him smile and go to bed in a good mood. Cloud watched Zack for a long while as he fell asleep in the bed beside him. Zack was so brave, even when he wasn't sure how things would turn out, and Cloud only wished he could find the same amount of courage that Zack had to make him show his face in his beloved home once again.

* * *

><p>Cloud was feeling under the weather the next morning when they woke up. Zack could tell immediately that something was wrong by the way Cloud was sitting on the bed; he was all slumped over, his eyes fixed on the floor.<p>

"You okay?" he asked, walking towards the boy.

"Let me get a little more rest," Cloud answered.

"Um, that doesn't convince me that you're okay."

"I'm still a little sore from that attack yesterday. I'll be fine, though."

"Maybe I should take a look," Zack said, reaching for the hem of Cloud's shirt. Cloud quickly put a hand on his to stop him.

"Zack, someone might be watching." Zack glanced around him. They were alone in the room, something that hadn't happened much since they had come to Nibelheim. He figured the other men were out keeping watch by the gate.

"And you might be seriously hurt."

"Zack, it's probably not a good idea to—"

"I'm your SOLDIER leader, okay? It's my job to make sure you're alright," Zack told him. Cloud reluctantly nodded, and allowed Zack to pull his shirt up just enough to see the wound. The magic he'd been hit with had burned his left side, high up on his rib cage. The skin there was red with blood and burn marks.

"No wonder that's sore. I should have tended to it yesterday," Zack said, placing a hand just below the injury and stroking the skin with his thumb. Cloud closed his eyes, enjoying the contact even though he couldn't let on. If they started anything, he knew they might not be able to stop.

"I'll bandage that up for you," the SOLDIER said, reaching in the bag behind him and pulling out some disinfectant and a long strip of material. As a SOLDIER, he'd been required to learn some basic medical training for cases such as this one.

Cloud was hesitant to remove his shirt, but he did so when realized that there was just no way for Zack to properly tend to it otherwise. Cloud stayed very still while Zack cleaned the wound. He watched Zack's gentle hands work around the injury, and he found himself yearning for more of that touch.

"Arms up, okay?" Zack said softly, once he had finished cleaning the wound. Cloud silently obeyed and held his arms out to the sides, granting Zack the space he needed.

The blond shivered as Zack's arms slipped around him and began wrapping the bandage around his torso. Zack knew that this was affecting Cloud a bit too much, and he, too, became more aware of the fact that he was enjoying this contact. Zack tried to distract himself from the sudden heat in his cheeks and between his legs, and quickly finished up his work. He then stuffed the remaining medical supplies in his bag before slumping back down on his own bed.

Cloud didn't waste any time in putting his shirt back on. They proceeded to sit in silence, periodically glancing up at one another, then averting their eyes just as quickly as they had come to rest on each other. Finally, after several wordless seconds, the silence was broken.

"Zack, I'd really like to talk to you later, alone, if that's okay," Cloud almost whispered. Their eyes finally met in a continuous gaze.

"Sure. We'll find a safe place to talk."

* * *

><p>Zack visited the old manor in Nibelheim later that morning after Tifa had informed him that Sephiroth was there. Sephiroth refused to leave, however, wanting only to browse through the hundreds of books that lined the shelves in the basement. Zack did as he wanted and left him alone, but that awful foreboding feeling just wouldn't leave him.<p>

The rest of the afternoon had turned out to be uneventful. Sephiroth still hadn't come back, and because they couldn't just leave without him, and because they hadn't been given any other orders, the Shinra troops just mingled around town. Zack couldn't say he minded, though, because it gave him a chance to conjure up ideas about what Cloud's life might have been like here.

Zack liked the town's layout. The houses were situated in a circular fashion, leaving the centre open except for a large well. The houses were all similarly constructed, each with wooden framework and cream-colored paint on the outside. He had fun guessing which house was Cloud's, but when he saw a blond woman standing outside one of them, he instantly had a pretty good idea which one it was.

It wasn't long after Zack's exploration of the town that his phone beeped, and he checked the message he had from Cloud.

_Hey, do you want to come over to my house? _

_I want you to try Mom's cooking. _

_The thing is, I haven't been home yet since _

_I've been here. I hadn't been able to make up _

_my mind about it, but I decided that I should _

_show my face...but going home alone is a bit _

_uncomfortable, so I was hoping you could join me._

Zack looked up from his phone and glanced over at the boy at the village gate. He was sure he could see an embarrassed smile under that helmet. The SOLDIER smiled, and typed back into his phone:

_Of course I will. Just let me know when you're ready_

_and I'll go with you._

Cloud looked up at Zack when he received his reply and gave him a thankful nod. He hoped that going with Zack would make him feel better about it all.

* * *

><p>It was about 4:00 in the afternoon when Cloud messaged Zack again, and they met in front of Cloud's house.<p>

"You ready for this?" Zack asked, but he could tell the boy was tense by the way he held his body.

"I guess so, but I'm really scared." Cloud was squeezing the material of his glove with his opposite hand, anxiously.

"There's no reason to be scared. You're both going to feel so much better once you do this. And I'll be right there with you."

"Yeah..."

"I can fill in the gaps if there are any awkward silences!" Zack said, shoving a triumphant fist into the air. Cloud laughed, though it contained an anxious tone. Zack wished he would loosen up.

"You can do this. It really won't be that bad," he assured the boy.

"Okay..."

"One thing. Before you go in there, I think you should take off your helmet," Zack said.

"But—"

"You don't need to hide. Besides, she's going to want to see your face."

Cloud hung his head low, and Zack tried to peer under his helmet.

"Okay?" Zack asked.

"O-okay."

Zack carefully lifted the helmet off the boy's head, and ran a hand through one of the golden strands that fell alongside Cloud's jaw.

"Nothing to be afraid of," Zack whispered. Cloud shyly smiled up at the older male, hoping no one had seen the gesture shared between them. He was grateful for it, though; it gave him confidence.

Cloud sucked in a breath of air, then held it as he knocked lightly on the door, feeling somewhat hopeful that his mother might not hear him. The two men heard shuffling coming from inside the house, however, and a moment later the slim woman that Zack had seen earlier appeared in the doorway. Her blonde hair, which looked only a shade darker than Cloud's, was pulled back into a loose ponytail. The expression in her eyes seemed to shift when she saw her son.

"Cloud?" she asked, blinking as if she didn't believe it could really be him.

"Hi, mom," Cloud said, his voice weak. The woman's lips formed a smile as her eyes flickered between Cloud and Zack, who could have both sworn the woman's eyes were brimming with tears.

"Oh, where are my manners? Come in, come in," she said, holding the door open and motioning for them to enter. Zack followed Cloud into the quaint little house and Cloud's mother closed the door behind them.

Before anyone could say another word, Cloud had been enveloped in his mother's arms. His eyes widened in surprise, then he relaxed. Zack smiled at him, '_I told you she'd be glad to see you'_ practically written across his face. Cloud smiled back at him as he wrapped his arms around the woman. When they parted, she brushed a hand through Cloud's hair and looked him over. He had grown up so much since she'd last seen him.

"I'm sorry to barge in without letting you know I was coming."

"Barge in? No, sweetie, I'm just glad to have you home," she said, stroking his hair. "And who's this?" she asked, turning her attention to the other man.

"Oh, sorry, Ma'am. I'm Zack. Cloud's friend," he said, shaking her hand. Cloud glanced at Zack and nodded gratefully. He figured Zack must have been preparing that introduction for a while. The word 'friend' had slipped off his tongue so casually that Cloud almost believed that was all they were.

"Nice to meet you, Zack," the woman said, smiling. She glanced back at Cloud and clapped her hands together, looking so happy that Cloud could hardly believe it. All this joy she was feeling was because of him, and it was difficult for him to understand why. He had been expecting her to at least be a little bit angry with him for leaving the way he did, telling Tifa and not saying a word to her.

"You two will be staying for supper, won't you?" Cloud's mother asked, bringing Cloud out of his thoughts.

"Oh, um, yeah, if that's alright," her son answered. Zack almost laughed at Cloud's uncertainty. The woman obviously wasn't going to say no when she was so clearly delighted by his arrival.

"Of course, sweetheart. That's why I asked."

She walked right over to the cupboards and started rummaging through them, trying to round up something to make.

"It's been so long since I've had to cook for anyone but myself. I hope I haven't lost my touch," she said. Cloud shook his head.

"I'm sure you haven't, Mom. Whatever you make is going to be delicious."

"What do you like to eat, Zack?"

"I'm not a picky eater. I'll eat anything," he said, smiling at the woman.

"Now you two have a seat, and talk to me while I get some food ready," she said, pulling several ingredients off the shelves and lining them up on the counter. Cloud glanced at Zack and they sat down beside each other at the kitchen table.

"Where should I even start?" Cloud asked, partly to himself.

"From the beginning. We have lots of time," his mother answered. Zack watched Cloud as he nodded and tried to collect his thoughts.

"Right. You mean when I left... Well, I got accepted into Shinra only a few days after arriving in Midgar, and was put into the infantry class. We do a lot of guard duty and patrolling. We don't see a whole lot of action, but we do take part in some missions," Cloud explained.

He wished he had some incredible experiences to tell her about, but even after three years of doing infantry work, he had nothing exciting to share. Maybe it was better that way. His mother was probably happier knowing he wasn't in constant danger.

"Did you meet some new friends there? Your letters were so vague, I hardly knew what was going on in your life."

"Yeah, just a few friends. Luxiere, my old roommate, and Kunsel, who is one of Zack's friends. And Zack, of course. We officially met a few months ago," the blond boy said, casting a quick smile at his partner.

"Officially?" Ms. Strife asked.

"Yeah. I knew who Zack was since he's in SOLDIER, but it wasn't until we were on a mission together that we were properly introduced."

"Oh, you're in SOLDIER, are you, Zack?" the woman asked, glancing back at the man as she peeled a potato.

"Yeah, but it's not always as great as it's cracked up to be," Zack answered, folding his arms. He had said that mostly for Cloud's sake so he wouldn't feel so bad for not making it into SOLDIER himself. Zack figured if Ms. Strife was led to believe that SOLDIER wasn't such a great thing, Cloud wouldn't have to feel nearly as guilty.

"I guess there are good and bad aspects to everything," the blonde woman said.

"Well,_ almost _everything," Zack replied, winking at Cloud, and hoped he got the message. "Sometimes there's just good," he added.

Cloud gave him a shy smile in return.

* * *

><p>The three made more small talk while Cloud's mother prepared supper. Finally, they sat down to eat their respective platefuls of potatoes, peas, carrots, and meat with Ms. Strife's fantastic homemade gravy. Cloud felt as if he had never left as the familiar tastes and flavours brought back memories of home. Neither Cloud nor Zack had had a meal this wonderful since they had been at Shinra, and it was quite a welcome change for them both. Zack complimented the woman's cooking, and Cloud agreed immediately with a grin on his face.<p>

"So, you two are here on a mission, are you?" Ms. Strife asked, as they ate. Cloud let Zack answer the question.

"Yeah. We're here... Well, we _were_ here to investigate some activity near the reactor. Now, we're waiting for one of our comrades to finish some of his own, uh, business."

"I see."

"We could be here for a few days. We don't really know for sure," Cloud said, popping a forkful of potato into his mouth.

"If you don't have other obligations, you're welcome to stay here for the night. You too, Zack, if you want to," said the blonde woman. Cloud glanced at Zack for an answer, and Zack could tell from the look he was getting that Cloud wanted to stay.

"If Sephiroth doesn't show up tonight, then I see no reason why we can't. I'll stay with you, Cloud, just so the teams will be even. Don't want to leave you on your own with no back-up. I'll check with the two other infantrymen at the inn to make sure they're okay there for the night," Zack said. Cloud nodded at him, though both of them knew that had really meant '_this may be our chance for some time alone'_.

"Okay. Mom, is my room—?" Cloud started to ask.

"It's exactly as you left it. I couldn't bring myself to change a thing," Ms. Strife answered. Cloud smiled, relieved.

A few more wordless moments passed—people were filling themselves with food at the time—before Ms. Strife struck up a conversation.

"Cloud, have you seen Tifa since you got here?"

The blond was sure that had he had food in his mouth in that moment, he would have choked on it. Instead, his fork clattered clumsily to his plate, and he picked it back up in great haste, hoping to smooth over the incident. He figured it hadn't really helped as two pairs of eyes were still watching him.

"N-no, I haven't," he admitted, staring at his plate. Zack now knew he had been right in believing that Cloud knew Tifa. He just wasn't sure _how_ they knew each other.

"Oh, why not? She'd love to see you. She hasn't been the same at all since you left," the woman announced.

"I just... can't, Mom." Zack kept his eyes on Cloud, wondering what he was hiding.

"Why not?" Ms. Strife asked. Cloud paused for a long moment, pushing his food back and forth across his plate with his fork.

"It's complicated," he eventually answered. His mother waited to see if he would elaborate on that response, but when nothing but silence followed, she cleared her throat and began to speak.

"Well, she has grown into a fine young woman. I think she's had a crush on you for years now. And when she sees how much you've grown as well... Ha! I don't think there will ever be any breaking you two up." She began to clear away the plates from the table, except for Cloud's which still contained the remains of supper. Cloud and Zack shared a long, intense stare. Cloud looked ashamed, and Zack wished they could say what was on their minds right then and there.

For the first time, Zack felt like he didn't know Cloud at all. For sixteen years of Cloud's life, Zack had played no part. In fact, he hadn't even known Cloud had existed. And maybe Cloud _had_ had a crush on Tifa, too, in the past, and perhaps if Zack hadn't come along, they would have ended up happy together.

There were even more _what ifs_ plaguing both their minds, and they could tell just by looking at each other that they were having similar thoughts: What if Cloud's mother knew about their relationship? What would it be like in the future if they came to visit her? Would Zack become part of their family? It hurt them both to think about because they knew they couldn't tell her. Not yet, at least. It was too soon. But it was so hard to hide it when their time together had been so incredibly amazing. Cloud was determined to make sure, if nothing else, that his mother knew he was happy. He figured she would at least be content knowing that.

* * *

><p>Zack left Cloud's house after supper to give Cloud and his mother some time to catch up on their own. Meanwhile, he checked up on the other men, and responded to some e-mails he'd received since he'd gotten to Nibelheim. At nightfall, he returned to the Strife residence. After saying goodnight to Ms. Strife, and thanking her once again for supper and her hospitality, Zack followed Cloud upstairs to his room.<p>

Cloud stood, mouth agape, and took in his surroundings. Just as his mother had assured him, his room hadn't changed a bit. His bed still stood in the middle of the back wall, the nightstand just beside it. The window on the right—which was the only thing bringing any light into the room—looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a long while, and a layer of dust had collected itself on the dresser. In the corner was a toy chest, and a large red rug covered most of the wooden floor.

"I'm sorry, Zack. I didn't think it would be so dusty in here," the blond said.

"That's okay."

"I guess Mom really did have a hard time coming in here. She couldn't even clean it." Cloud felt a hand on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes to soak in the comfort further.

"She really loves you. You feel better now that you've come here, don't you?" Zack asked.

"I do. But I'll feel even better once we—" Cloud closed the door and turned the lock, then took Zack's hands in his own and led him over to stand in front of the window. Cloud wrapped Zack's arms around his waist and held them there as he stared through the glass which overlooked the unlit town.

"Once we hold each other?" Zack asked.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud replied.

They stared out the window together for a few long moments, not saying a word, but feeling so much better now that they could touch each other without having to be secretive about it.

"I missed home so much. I just couldn't let myself think about it because that only made it hurt more," Cloud finally said, breaking the silence.

"I know. I feel the same way sometimes... Hey, Cloud! We should go to Gongaga together. You know, my hometown?" Zack said, excitement in his voice.

"Sure. I'd love to go with you."

"Great! We can go see my house, and you can meet my parents."

"Yeah. It'll be fun," Cloud smiled, as Zack kissed the top of his head.

Silence came next, and Zack could feel himself start to worry as another nagging question rose up in his mind again. This time, he knew he had to ask it.

"Cloud, you and Tifa—" Zack started, but stopped when he became unsure of where that question was going to end up. He felt Cloud's body stiffen in his arms.

"What happened between you two?" the SOLDIER finished. Cloud knew he couldn't keep this from Zack any longer. It wasn't worth it.

"She was pretty much my only friend in this town. And I think we did sort of like each other back then. Before I left, I promised her I would become a SOLDIER, and that I would save her if she was ever in danger. That's why I can't show my face here. I failed her on both accounts," Cloud told him. Zack pulled Cloud in tighter against him, and shook his head.

"I doubt this was your only opportunity. You still have lots of time to join SOLDIER, and you'll get your chance to prove yourself to her."

"Zack... I _can't_ become SOLDIER. The mako... makes me sick, remember?" Cloud struggled to get the words out.

"I don't believe mako is what makes the SOLDIER," Zack said, spinning Cloud around to face him.

"It's what's in here, right?" Cloud asked, placing a hand over Zack's heart.

"That's what I was going for, yeah."

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Cheeseball," he mumbled. Zack's jaw dropped, and he saw Cloud grin wildly, as if he knew he was in trouble.

"Oh yeah?" Zack asked, tauntingly. He would have gone for an all-out tickle attack on Cloud had his mom not been home. Hysteric laughing probably wouldn't have been the easiest thing to explain. Zack opted for a noogie instead.

"Here I am trying to cheer you up, and you call me a cheeseball, huh?" he teased. Cloud released a restrained laugh as Zack fluffed his hair back into its original state.

"I appreciate it anyway," the blond admitted. Zack gave a small smile, but wished he could do more to make the boy happy.

"We should get your sleeping bag set up," Cloud sighed.

...

Of course, the sleeping bag was there to act more as a decoy than anything. If Cloud's mom came in in the morning, there would at least be evidence—_false_ evidence, but evidence nonetheless—that Zack had been sleeping on the floor. In reality, Zack was in his sleeping bag for about three minutes before Cloud had begged him to stop taunting him and come join him in the bed.

Cloud's bed was a lot smaller than Zack's, especially since Cloud's was only a single. It was certainly cozy, though, since no matter what they did, their bodies always touched. This, of course, wasn't a problem for either of them. An eager Cloud snuggled his way into Zack's arms almost immediately, and lay his head against his chest.

"Cloud? Do you really not regret it?" Zack asked, suddenly. Cloud glanced up at him for a moment, then put his head back where it had been.

"I told you, I never could."

"Yeah, but—"

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about earlier. It's embarrassing, but I want you to know that... I'm really glad my first time was with you... 'cause I don't know how it could get any better than that," Cloud explained, his cheeks a visible pink even in the mere moonlight, which didn't come to a surprise to either of them.

"R-really?"

"Yeah. I mean, maybe we should have waited 'till we were a bit older, but I'm still really glad we did it. The moment just felt right." Cloud buried his head against Zack, timidly.

"I'm sorry... I sound like an idiot," he muttered.

"No, you don't. I agree with you one hundred percent. That night was so special. It was to both of us. But, I actually meant, do you regret all of this? Our relationship, everything we've shared?" Zack asked, and he could tell from the hurt look Cloud gave him that he shouldn't have had any doubt.

"Zack, why would you even ask that?" Cloud stared up at him with those big blue eyes, his beautiful smile far from his face now.

"I don't know. I guess it's all this stuff about you coming home, and your past with Tifa, and everything," Zack answered, running a hand through his black spikes.

"What do you mean? You think I'd rather be with Tifa?"

Zack shrugged a response.

"Zack, I wouldn't be happier with her, if that's what you think. Even if my mom would be more... accepting of a relationship with her than with you, it's not what _I_ want."

"It's not?"

"Of course not. You should know that by now," Cloud said.

"I know I should. I guess I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box," Zack sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

"Are _you _still happy with us?" Cloud asked, worried that maybe the problem may lie with Zack, rather than with him.

"Of course, I am. It's not that I'm not happy. Lately, I've really been thinking about our future, and what life might be like for us later on. I promise you, breaking up is the last thing I want to do."

Cloud wrapped his arms around his partner. He wasn't sure if it was all these secrets about Shinra that had Zack so shaken up, or if he really was doubting the stability of their relationship, but Cloud felt that it was his job to get Zack over this rough patch. After all, Zack had helped him through more rough patches than he could count.

"Zack, I love you," he said, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Zack smiled in surprise, as that was the first time Cloud had told him he loved him—with the exception of the night they'd made love—without him initiating it first.

"I love you, too. I'm sorry, Sunshine, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel like I'm in a dark place right now," Zack sighed, rubbing his fingers in a circle over Cloud's lower back. Cloud gave him a sad smile.

"Don't worry. I'm here to help you out of it. I'll be your light."

Cloud propped himself up on one elbow and leaned his head in against his partner's neck, and began placing gentle kisses on his soft skin. Zack knew that something had fallen away that night at his apartment. Everything that had happened had caused them to become both physically and emotionally closer than they had ever been. Zack was sure of that now, as he was certain that before that night Cloud would never have done what he was doing in that moment—kissing him in such an intimate manner as he drifted off to sleep.

"You know, that line you just said... It kind of sounded like you went all cheeseball on me," Zack teased, though his voice sounded tired now.

"It's okay," Cloud whispered between kisses. "It was intentional."

* * *

><p>AN: Hey, happy Sunday everybody! I hope everyone liked this chapter. As I said in the last author's note, this is one of my favourite chapters. As you can see, there are parts from Crisis Core again, which I put my own spin on. Also, it's been a while since played FFVII and I'm a little rusty on my facts. I think I remember reading somewhere that Tifa and Cloud being friends was actually a false memory. I'm not sure. I left it in the story anyway 'cause it kind of works as a plot device for more Clack, and Clack is good! Thanks for all the support, guys! You all rock!


	22. Chapter 22

An unfamiliar ceiling greeted Zack when he opened his eyes the next morning, but it only took him a minute to remember that he was in Cloud's house. Soft breathing beside him caused him to look down and gaze upon the sleeping boy in his arms. Zack rested his head against Cloud's, and closed his eyes again. The knot in his stomach reminded him of all the troubling questions swirling around in his mind, but in that moment, nothing really seemed that bad. Perhaps he really had been worrying for no reason the night before, at least about the stuff concerning Cloud. The boy had certainly seemed honest about all the things he'd said—all those things about loving him and valuing their relationship.

Zack kissed his partner on the cheek, then rested his head beside Cloud's ear. Almost instantly, he heard a stifled giggle emerge from the boy.

"Your breath is tickling me."

"Hey, you're awake?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to know what you'd do if you thought I was asleep," Cloud whispered, smiling, though his eyes were still closed.

"Oh, well, isn't that sweet," Zack joked, giving Cloud a quick squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around him. Cloud nuzzled his face in against Zack's shoulder and sighed.

"It's so weird to be home."

"Yeah, I can imagine. Your mom was certainly glad to see you, though."

"I know. I am glad I came to see her, but it's kind of hard to believe I'm here. Even after three years, nothing's changed," Cloud said.

"Hmm... I wonder if my home's changed any," Zack wondered, aloud. Cloud looked up at his pensive expression, and put a hand on his chest.

"I'm sure your folks will be glad to have you visit, too," he told the older man.

"Yeah." Zack squeezed the boy in his arms again, only to have Cloud stifle a pained moan. Zack loosened his grip immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"Just that damn burn from the other day," Cloud said, readjusting himself in Zack's arms so that he was more comfortable.

"Maybe I should take another look. The bandages should be changed anyway," Zack said. Cloud stared at his partner for a moment.

"Are you sure you aren't looking for an excuse to lift up my shirt?" he teased, his lips twisting into a smirk. Zack laughed.

"No, but it works out conveniently enough for me."

Within minutes, Zack had removed the old bandages, cleaned the wound, and reapplied new bandages. This time had gone much more smoothly than the last, as they knew they weren't in danger of being watched this time; that meant they only enjoyed the contact more, as they could revel in the soft touches knowing that no one would see or care.

"All done," Zack announced, though he still hadn't moved from his doctoring position.

"Then how come you're not lying down with me again?"

"Because I haven't kissed it better yet," the SOLDIER whispered. Cloud smiled, and closed his eyes as he sensed the slight pressure on his injured rib. When Zack had finished, he placed a kiss on an unsuspecting pair of lips. Cloud's eyes flickered open in surprise, but he quickly relaxed and returned the much appreciated kiss.

Zack kissed him again, and Cloud's arms wove their way around Zack's neck. Cloud leaned his head back allowing Zack to lick his jaw, then his ear. The innocent mood shifted as Zack lowered his hips and brushed himself over Cloud's groin, causing them both to release quiet moans.

"Zack, I want... um..." Cloud trailed off, and his face turned red when he realized how needy the request was about to sound. The euphoria collapsed as they realized what they were trying to do, where they were headed. Cloud's arms fell from Zack's body, and Zack sat back on the bed away from the blond.

"My mom... She's right downstairs. We can't," Cloud whispered.

"Yeah, I couldn't do it. Not here."

They were silent for a long moment, avoiding each other's gazes. Cloud's face remained red with shame. He sat up and pulled his shirt down to deter any further temptation. Finally, they dared a glance at each other and instantly knew what the other was thinking: the last time had been amazing. _They_ had been amazing _together_.

Zack eventually shook his head and cleared his throat, trying to distract them both.

"I should probably spend tonight at the inn with the others."

"B-because of this? Are you afraid something might—" Cloud started to ask.

"No, no. I was going to suggest it earlier. I shouldn't really leave them on their own for too long since I'm kind of in charge right now."

"I want to go with you," Cloud said.

"You don't want to stay here?" Zack asked.

"Not without you."

Zack smiled. He didn't know whether Cloud didn't want to stay because of the awkwardness of being home, or because he didn't want to spend a night without him, but Zack didn't question it. More time with Cloud didn't need a reason why.

"Okay," Zack said, moving to get up, but Cloud leaned forward and planted another kiss on his soft lips. Zack grinned, and kissed Cloud one last time, a gentle hand reaching up to stroke the back of his neck.

"We should go down for breakfast soon, or your mom will think we're up to something we shouldn't be," Zack smirked.

"A little late for that," Cloud mumbled, as Zack got up off the bed. Zack glanced back at him, knowing from that tone that something was on his mind.

"What is it?"

Cloud was silent for another moment, and pulled his knees up to his chest. He opened his mouth a few times to say something, but no words came out. He finally rested his forehead on his knees, too embarrassed to look Zack in the eye now.

"I know other people wouldn't understand... why we want this. But, when we get back, do you think we could— C-can we do it again?"

Zack stared at the boy in his curled up position, dumbfounded by what Cloud had just asked. It was one thing if they were lost in the moment and Cloud asked for sex, but for him to actually want it, and _plan_ it in advance... It was so unlike him, but it was also very sweet. Zack was suddenly elated to know that Cloud wanted to be with him in that way again—that beautiful, intimate way.

After finding his voice again, Zack proceeded towards the bed and sat down beside his beautiful partner. Cloud raised his head up when he felt Zack's hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't know you felt that way. I didn't like to ask you for it again so soon."

"Y-yeah. I figured."

"Don't worry, love. It's normal to want this," Zack reassured Cloud when he seemed uneasy. Cloud still looked embarrassed, though slightly comforted.

"I want this, too," Zack promised him, touching his hand. Finally, Cloud smiled and leaned forward to embrace the other man.

"I love you," Cloud whispered. Zack returned the embrace.

"I love you, too. Forever and always."

"I was going to tell you last night that I wanted to... you know... again. I kind of got distracted, though because of—"

"My moping?" Zack finished, chuckling. Cloud smiled, and kissed Zack's neck, as they were still caught in the embrace.

"You weren't moping. You were just scared," Cloud whispered, and he could have sworn he felt Zack tense up.

Zack's stomach flipped as all those fears about Shinra came rushing back to him, and he found himself hoping now more than ever that Sephiroth would hurry up so they could get out of there. Zack didn't feel safe, not even with Cloud in his arms in a quiet little house. Maybe the only way to feel safe was to get away from Shinra, as far as they could. He didn't want Cloud to worry, though. If Cloud was scared, then Zack wasn't sure he'd be able to hold it together. Right now, he needed Cloud to be brave for him.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, after Zack had been silent for several seconds.

"Yeah. Everything will be fine," Zack lied. "Everything will be fine."

* * *

><p>Ms. Strife made eggs and blueberry pancakes for breakfast, which both men enjoyed thoroughly. Zack could tell by the look on Cloud's face that he wasn't looking forward to leaving home, but he couldn't blame him. Cloud smiled at his mother every time she looked at him, as if trying to let her know with that smile alone that he loved her. Zack briefly lay a hand on Cloud's thigh under the table to comfort him. Cloud gave him a quick, thankful smile.<p>

Once they had finished eating, Zack helped Ms. Strife clean up the dishes while Cloud took a few minutes to himself in his room. He knew he could come back at any time, but he didn't figure he would. He would be going back to Shinra in a few days, and who knew what he would do once he was done there. He didn't figure any of the paths he might take in the future would lead him back here. He'd already done too much damage to his life in Nibelheim.

Cloud walked slowly towards his old toy chest, and knelt in front of it, lifting up the lid with careful hands as if it might break at his touch. The outside of the chest was dust-covered, but its contents were quite clean. He reached a hand inside and pulled out a couple of objects of his choice: a wooden toy train, a stuffed chocobo. Cloud closed his eyes, and rummaged around for any random object in the chest, just to see what he would find and what kind of memories it would bring back. His hand grasped something, and he pulled it out, discovering a picture frame.

He ran a finger over the glass, and drank up the sight of the small, smiling blond boy standing in front of this very house. His hair was tied back in a ponytail, and he was dressed in shorts and a green T-shirt. Cloud thought it was a cute picture, despite him hating most pictures of himself. He carefully took the picture out of the frame, and put the frame back in the chest along with his other toys. He tucked the photo away in his pocket carefully, and stood up, taking one last glance around his room before leaving it for the last time.

* * *

><p>Zack smiled when he saw Cloud appear in the kitchen once again. He and Ms. Strife were seated at the table now, and from the look of it, they had been talking. Cloud wasn't surprised that they had easily started a conversation; they were both chatterboxes.<p>

"Ready to go?" Zack asked the boy, restraining himself from using one of the affectionate nicknames he usually gave him.

"I think so."

The boy's mother got up from her seat, and pulled her son into an embrace, which Cloud returned without hesitation.

"If you ever want to come home, remember you're always welcome," she told him, still not letting go of him. Cloud hoped that would remain true, regardless of what he did, or where he went... or who he loved.

"Thanks, Mom."

Cloud was the first to pull away. Ms. Strife placed a gentle hand at the side of his face, and Cloud blushed partly due to the fact that Zack was watching, and partly because it was an all too familiar gesture which normally came from his partner, not his mother. The woman's eyes flickered from her son to the man across the kitchen, and she gave him a gentle smile.

"It was nice to meet you, Zack," she said, making her way over to shake his hand.

"It was nice to meet _you_. Thanks for everything," Zack answered.

"Zack, we should get going," Cloud said. Zack nodded and followed Cloud to the door.

"I'll write to you soon, Mom," the blond boy assured the woman. She nodded, gratefully, and watched as her son walked out the door, putting his Shinra helmet back on his head.

"Zack?"

The SOLDIER stopped in his tracks when the woman said his name. Cloud, however, kept walking, not realizing Zack wasn't right behind him.

"Take care of my boy, will you? I do worry about him," Ms. Strife whispered.

Zack turned his head to look back at her, his heart aching for her. Of course, he would take care of Cloud naturally, but he would certainly protect him for his mother's sake as well to put her mind at ease. He could only imagine what she must have gone through over the past three years. Zack briefly wondered in a moment of guilt for leaving his own home if _his_ mother was just as worried about _him_.

"Don't worry. I'll watch out for him. I always do," he answered.

"Thank you." Zack gave her a nod, and ran out the door to join his friend.

* * *

><p>The day turned out to be like most of the others the men spent in Nibelheim: uneventful. Because the infantrymen were so bored, Zack obliged their requests and gave them a training session on the outskirts of town. When the sun went down, Zack asked Cloud to go for a walk with him, which Cloud certainly didn't object to.<p>

They walked up to the Shinra Manor, but stayed outside the gate, not having any desire to investigate the place when Sephiroth was still wasting away the days in there. Zack kept glancing at the door of the Manor—an action that did not go unnoticed by Cloud—wishing doing so would make Sephiroth would walk out so they could leave.

"How do you feel today? Still in that dark place?" Cloud asked.

Zack was startled at first, then he sighed.

"I've still got... doubts, I guess, about Shinra," Zack answered. That was certainly putting his concerns mildly. Cloud was silent for a moment.

"Things have gotten worse, haven't they? You were afraid to bring me here because of the threat against SOLDIER, but that's not all that's troubling you now, is it?"

Zack glanced over at his partner. Cloud really was good at detecting his emotions, even when he was trying so hard to hide them. Zack hung his head low as he spoke.

"You're right, that's not all. I think there are more things going on with Shinra than the company lets on. I'm sure there are more experiments and projects than just the ones that SOLDIER undergo—even more than the ones concerning Angeal and Genesis. Sephiroth's involved now, too," Zack answered.

"What are you thinking?" Cloud asked, trying to meet Zack's eyes, but to no avail. Zack sighed again.

"That maybe Shinra isn't all that safe. For anyone."

They were both silent for several moments after that while they both tried to sort out what these troubles at Shinra really meant. Cloud, not thinking, slipped his hands into his pockets, only to remember the photo that he had put there earlier. He tugged it out, and looked at it again before speaking.

"Zack, I found this at my house today. I-I thought you might want to have it," he said, handing over the picture. Zack glanced back and forth from Cloud to the object in his hand before taking the photo from him. He smiled when he gazed upon it.

"Hey, he looks familiar. Awfully cute, too," Zack teased.

"You don't have to flatter me," Cloud mumbled.

"Let's see..." Zack said, holding the picture up beside Cloud so he could compare it to the real thing.

"Yup. Still cute. In fact, I think grown-up Cloud's even cuter," he smirked. Cloud couldn't help but crack a smile, especially when Zack quickly kissed him on the nose.

"Thanks for the picture, Cloud," Zack said, reaching into his pocket. Cloud watched as Zack slipped the picture into the photo slot in his wallet and stared at it in admiration for a moment.

"Isn't that going to bring about some awkward questions?" Cloud asked.

"Maybe, but who cares? I'll make something up," Zack laughed. Cloud smiled, and sighed. Maybe Zack was right. What did it matter?

Cloud's phone beeped right then, startling both of them. The blond gave an apologetic smile and checked the device. The smile disappeared when he read the short message.

_Cloud, I'm sorry._

_-Luxiere_

"What's wrong?" Zack asked when he saw the concern in the other's face.

"It's from Luxiere," he said, pausing. "But I have no idea what he means."

"Huh?"

"It just says 'sorry'_._" Cloud showed the message to his friend as he spoke. Zack folded his arms, puzzled.

"You can't think of anything he might be apologizing for?"

"No, not really." Cloud sighed and put the phone back in his pocket, then leaned his back against the gate. "He's been acting really weird lately."

Zack followed Cloud's lead and rested against the bars as well.

"It might just be the stress of getting promoted to SOLDIER," Zack suggested.

"Maybe. I don't know, it barely even feels like we're friends anymore."

"Oh, speaking of friends, Tifa asked about you the other day." Cloud's head popped up in surprise.

"What? What did she say?" he asked, sounding nervous.

"She wanted to know if I knew a blond guy in SOLDIER. When I told her I didn't, she got kind of upset and ran away." Cloud held his head in his hands, shaking it slightly.

"I can't talk to her. I can't," he mumbled.

"You don't have to, but I think she'd understand if you did. It takes time to become SOLDIER," Zack said, trying to comfort him.

"But she wouldn't understand that I'm too weak for it! Zack, I _can't_ become SOLDIER. I've told you that so many times," Cloud said, and Zack could tell he was fighting back tears.

"Hey, you don't have to," Zack told him, his voice gentle. He moved over so he was in front of the other man, and held one of his hands between his own two.

"What will I do, then?"

"Find some other job. Some other dream. We both will. What do you say, after we get back from this mission we just pack up and head off somewhere else?" Zack asked, knowing that if he could get the idea of leaving into Cloud's head now, it would probably be good for both of them. Who knew when they might feel so threatened by Shinra that they would _have_ to leave?

"Could we really do that? Would Shinra let us?"

"Forget Shinra. Would you want to do that?"

Cloud stared at Zack for a minute, and all he could see in those blue eyes was trust. Of course, he would want to go. He would go anywhere if Zack led the way. He doubted they would actually leave Shinra as soon as they got back; they would have to put some money aside first and plan a little, but it was certainly a nice thought.

"Yes," Cloud said, weakly.

"Good. So, no tears, okay?" Zack said, smiling. Cloud sniffed and smiled back.

"'Kay."

They stood in silence for a moment, soaking up the soft breeze. It was a beautiful evening. Breathing in the fresh country air, watching the sun set above Mt. Nibel... Everything was so warm and peaceful there. Both men could feel themselves getting a little nostalgic; it made Cloud think back to his home.

"How did you like Mom's cooking?" Cloud suddenly asked. Zack turned his head to look at him, thankful that Cloud had given him a distraction from his thoughts.

"It was great!"

"You really liked it?" Cloud asked.

"Of course. I sure wouldn't mind having a mother-in-law who could cook like that."

"Um, Zack?" Cloud asked, blushing. That was when Zack realized what he had implied.

"Oh! I didn't mean... I just— M-maybe someday when we're ready, we might, but..." Zack stuttered, hoping to recover from his embarrassing thought. Cloud was silent for a long moment, staring at Zack incredulously, but his lips finally curved into the smile that he had been fighting.

"I'll say yes."

"What?" Zack asked, confused.

"If you ever ask me, you know, to be yours forever, I'll say yes," Cloud said, and Zack could tell he wasn't joking. He smiled, his heart feeling light, and he reached for Cloud's hand.

"So much for taking things slow, huh?" Zack asked, feeling rather abashed that he had implied such a thing. Cloud simply chuckled, and squeezed Zack's hand.

Cloud could hardly imagine how wonderful it would be to be married to Zack, to have a recognized bond like that. He doubted either of them were ready for such a big commitment yet, but maybe in a few years they would want to settle down together. Cloud's heart seemed to skip just at the thought.

"Cloud... Are you serious? About marrying me?" Zack asked, bringing Cloud back from that beautiful image he'd conjured up in his mind.

"If nothing changed. You know, if we were still this happy and still loved each other this much, then of course."

"If nothing changed, huh?"

"Yeah. And I really hope it doesn't," Cloud said.

"Me too." Zack raised Cloud's gloved hand to his lips and kissed it, then revelled in the genuine smile that Cloud gave him afterwards.

"1st Class Fair, Sir!"

A violent blush rose to Cloud's face in a matter of seconds—faster than Zack had ever seen it happen—and Zack flashed his partner an awkward grin. He spun around so that he was standing beside Cloud, but their hands were still entwined behind their backs, not visible to the two infantrymen that were making their way up the path towards them; Cloud thought that was pretty clever, and kind of sweet of Zack.

"Call me Zack. Really, I don't mind," the SOLDIER said, not missing a beat.

"Uh, okay, Zack. We're having a bonfire just outside of town since we're bored out of our minds. Want to come?" one of the men asked.

"Sure," Zack answered, casting a quick look at Cloud to make sure he wanted to. Cloud nodded.

"It's this way. Come on," the other man said, and the two of them started back into town. Cloud and Zack followed them leisurely at their own pace, their woven hands still hidden behind their backs. They exchanged smiles and knew that they were each thinking along the same lines: they never wanted their moments together to end.

* * *

><p>It had been six days since the Shinra group had come to Nibelheim. Zack and Cloud had spent the rest of their nights with the other men at the inn, and every night that Sephiroth didn't join them, their worries increased. On the seventh day, it happened—the event that changed everything.<p>

Zack awoke with a start when he smelled smoke. The room was filled with it, in fact. Zack looked to his right and panicked when Cloud was no longer in the bed beside his. He grabbed his sword and exited the inn quicker than he would have thought possible, only to be horrified when he saw the town around him. Fire was everywhere, quickly licking up and eating away at the houses. If it hadn't been for that strong smell of the smoke, Zack would have thought he was having a nightmare. His body started trembling, and he didn't even know what his first course of action should be. Search the houses? Find survivors? By the look of things, there probably weren't many. Zack inwardly cursed himself for not waking up sooner, for not protecting these people and their village.

He threw an arm over his mouth and nose to keep the deadly air out of his lungs, and tried to make his way through the burning village. He had made it to the water well when he saw Cloud lying on his stomach on the dirty ground. Zack's heart leaped and he was over to the boy in a second. Afraid to move him in case he had some injury, he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Cloud? Cloudy? Cloud, please, wake up!" he shouted, his voice becoming more and more panicked as he went on.

"Seph... Sephiroth..." Zack was relieved by the sound of Cloud's voice, despite it sounding raspy.

"Are you hurt?"

"Mom..." Cloud sounded like he was about to start weeping now, and Zack felt defeated when he realized Cloud wasn't listening to him, nor was he making any sense. He quickly felt the boy all over, checking for broken bones, and when he didn't feel any, he picked him up under the arms and dragged him further away from the fire where the air wasn't as thick, and propped him up in a sitting position against a safe wall.

Zack could see now that dirt and blood covered Cloud's normally flawless face. He wiped a trickle of red liquid that was seeping from the boy's bruised lip, and hoped for a response. When he didn't get one, he shook Cloud's shoulders.

"Cloud, sweetheart, please. Tell me what happened!"

"Sephiroth... killed her... Mom... he killed..." Cloud cried, tears slowly dripping from his closed eyes. Zack was unconvinced that his words had made it to Cloud; he was pretty sure the boy was in shock. But as he glanced around, he realized that Cloud's words had been correct. Deep green eyes met Zack's, and Zack felt a fury raging inside him as he stared at the silver-haired man standing only feet away from him. Sephiroth stared at Zack for a long moment, as if he were coaxing him to follow, as if he were testing him. He then proceeded up the stairs that led towards the reactor.

Zack felt his fists clench on their own, and he stood up. To hurt Cloud this way, to destroy this village and its innocent inhabitants... It was unforgivable, and Zack wasn't about to let Sephiroth get away with it.

"Zack!" The SOLDIER looked over his shoulder to see one of the infantrymen pulling a wounded man out of one of the burning houses. Zack ran to his side and helped him get the injured villager to a safe place.

"Who the hell did this?" the infantryman asked.

"I think it was Sephiroth," Zack growled.

"Dammit."

"I need to go. Take care of the survivors. And make sure Cloud's alright, 'kay?" Zack asked. The infantryman nodded, and Zack turned to head off after Sephiroth.

"Hey, you, SOLDIER!" Zack whipped around to see who had called him. A middle-aged man limped towards him.

"Listen, Tifa's gone after Sephiroth. She and her father," the man said, clutching his bleeding side.

"Tifa's there? Don't worry, I'm going!" The man nodded, and Zack took off at a run, not even looking back. He just hoped Cloud would be safe.

* * *

><p>Cloud gasped when he felt cold water being splashed on his face, and he opened his eyes, glancing around him in all directions.<p>

"You okay?" the infantryman in front of him asked. Cloud nodded, but was distracted by the sight of the burning village around him, the fire dwindling down now. Most of the houses were almost completely black. He felt an awful sinking feeling in his stomach as it hit him: this was real.

"My home..." he whispered. He closed his eyes and thought back to his futile attempt to save his mother. Sephiroth had made it to the house first. The woman had probably been dead minutes before Cloud had gotten there.

Cloud's stomach seemed to sink further at another realization. He hadn't woken the other men up when he'd left the inn, not even Zack. At that point, the inn hadn't been ablaze. Now, the building had been almost completely destroyed.

"Zack... Wh-where's Zack?" he asked, his breath coming out in desperate pants.

"Calm down, it's okay. He's gone after Sephiroth to the reactor," the other man answered, placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

"I have to go," Cloud said, trying to push himself off the ground.

"Hey, man, you have to save your strength. You're not ready for a fight," the man protested, but was amazed at how quickly Cloud had gotten himself into a standing position.

"I have to be."

"You can't fight Sephiroth! You're not strong enough!"

"It's not strength that makes the SOLDIER," Cloud said, remembering Zack's words. "It's what's in here," he finished, putting a hand over his heart.

The other infantryman stared at him as if he was crazy, but Cloud took that as his opportunity to push him out of the way. Cloud was thankful that the adrenaline was pumping hard enough through his veins to make him run. If he kept up this pace and didn't run into too many fights along the way, he could probably make it to the reactor within ten minutes. He hoped that would get him there quick enough to be of some assistance.

_Zack, please be okay. I'll be there as soon as I can._

* * *

><p>AN: Hey, readers! Well, four chapters to go. So sad! I noticed a decline in the reviews for the last chapter and—no, I'm not complaining—I'm just hoping that people aren't leaving because it's almost over. Please, please, stay for the end. I promise you that if you stick with me till the end, it'll be worth it! Cloud and Zack want you to keep reading! haha. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting this story along the way! Love the reviews, everyone!

xx-koneko-xx did some awesome fanart for this story, and I'm so happy about it! They look awesome, so everyone should go check it out. The links are below. Just remove the spaces. Thanks again xx-koneko-xx!

http: / secluded-delusions. deviantart. com/ art/ First-Time-298335426

: / secluded-delusions. deviantart. com/ art/ Return-to-Me-cover-Sketch-299399505

: / secluded-delusions. deviantart. com/ art/ Return-to-Me-cover-Lined-299406595

secluded-delusions. deviantart. com/ gallery/ 27731809#/ d4yd3qx


	23. Chapter 23

_Cloud... Zack was so proud, and so thankful that Cloud had come to back him up. Zack watched him wield the giant Buster Sword, and go after Sephiroth on his own._

_Cloud came out of the room where he'd fought, and started towards Zack._

"_No... get to her. Make sure she's okay," Zack told him. Cloud hesitated, but finally obeyed and ran to the unconscious Tifa's side._

_Next was the sound of Sephiroth's footsteps, followed by Zack's order for Cloud to finish the man off. Then came the sound of Cloud's voice._

"_Sephiroth!"_

_Zack heard Cloud's cry of pain after he had charged at his enemy, then he heard the boy's whimpers as Sephiroth hurt him more and more, out of Zack's view. Zack tried desperately to get up off the steps, but his body wouldn't move. He was sure he had broken a few ribs when he'd been trying to fight Sephiroth alone. The pain was stifling._

_"Impossible." That was Sephiroth's voice; Zack was sure of it. Next he saw Sephiroth's body being flung against the doorway, then it fell to the floor. Unsteady footsteps followed, and Cloud came into view, clutching his side. Then he collapsed, slipping down the stairs where Zack lay. _

"_Cloud...you did it..." Zack whispered, though it took most of his strength to do so. Cloud's eyes were closed, and Zack outstretched a hand, trying to touch him to let him know he was there, but Cloud was just out of his reach. Zack let his arm collapse on the stairs, just inches from Cloud's golden spikes._

_Zack felt himself slipping in and out of consciousness. Cloud's face was going in and out of focus. Sometimes he couldn't see it at all. Then came a change of scenery. And a voice._

"_This one here... intriguing, most intriguing! He'll make a fine test subject!" Zack came to the conclusion that the man he was seeing and hearing was Professor Hojo. He couldn't be positive, though. Everything was too unclear. _

"_That Luxiere fellow was right. They _were_ together." Zack struggled to figure out why that name sounded familiar, and what those words meant, but he gave up. All his mind wanted to do was shut down. And so it did..._

* * *

><p><em>Angeal?<em>

Zack's arms were paining. At first he wondered if it _was_ pain. It seemed like a long time since he'd felt anything. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was lying on the floor, tiny shards of glass surrounding him. He figured that was the cause of the pain; his arms were cut up.

He pushed himself up off the floor, and stood on shaky legs. At first, his vision was slightly hazy, but it only took a second for his eyes to focus on the figure approaching him. Zack prepared himself as a man in a white lab coat came towards him, and Zack knocked him out with one swift swing of his fist. Zack staggered a bit, his legs not wanting to hold him up, but they somehow did.

He glanced around again and realized the place looked familiar. It was dark and musty with books all around. He knew they were in the Shinra Manor. He had dreamed about this place, but surely he wasn't dreaming now. Yes, the manor had been in his dream, and then Angeal had... broken the glass he was in?

Zack turned around and stared at the two large body-sized tubes that lined the back wall. One was empty with a huge hole in the glass where Zack had obviously been before it had somehow shattered. The other was filled with fluorescent green mako, and its occupant— Zack swallowed hard at the sight. Cloud's normally beautiful eyes were closed and his body stood looking lifeless inside the case.

Without delay, Zack searched for and found a button on the side of the tube. He pushed it, causing the mako to drain from the capsule and forcing the door open. Cloud fell forward, right into Zack's open arms as if they had planned it. Zack just stood there and held him for several long moments.

He whispered Cloud's name. Zack wasn't sure his body was ready to move, which was one reason for his inaction, but the feel of Cloud's body against him gave him comfort in the midst of his confusion.

"You're safe now."

Zack carefully lowered Cloud to the floor and into a sitting position. He looked around, hoping he would find the answers he wanted, but there was nothing—no papers, no clues, nothing. Zack suddenly noticed something in the corner: his sword. He walked over and stared at the large object for a long moment. It was a miracle no one had taken it, he thought.

Without another moment's hesitation, Zack slung the sword over his back, then bent down to investigate a trunk on the floor beside him. Inside lay two—his and Cloud's—cell phones, a couple of healing items and materia, and to Zack's surprise, his wallet which still contained the picture that Cloud had given him. He stuffed their belongings into his pockets, and glanced back at the boy who was slumped over against the table in the middle of the room.

"What did they want with us?" Zack asked, aloud.

He returned to Cloud's side, and threw one of the blond's limp arms around his neck, picking him up.

"Well, whatever, I guess. We need to get you somewhere where you can rest."

* * *

><p>Zack warded off the enemies that infested the manor, and managed to get Cloud back into the centre of town. With careful hands, he lowered Cloud to the ground, then gave his blond hair an affectionate ruffle.<p>

"Home again, Cloud..." Just as the words left Zack's mouth, he came to the realization that something wasn't right here. Or, rather, it _was_. The town that he had seen burn down to almost nothing was now standing around him, as whole and as perfectly undamaged as it had been when they had first arrived.

"But I... I saw it burn," Zack whispered. He couldn't give it another thought, however, as a group of infantrymen came into sight. At first, he was relieved, assuming they were there to help him, but the way they kept their guns pointed at him suggested otherwise.

"It's a breakout! The professor's test subjects are escaping!" the leader yelled as the others charged towards Zack. _Test subjects?_ Zack wondered, but didn't have time just then to dwell on it. The infantrymen stopped at an appropriate shooting distance, and Zack, having no other choice, drew his sword. Just as he was preparing to fight, he heard more troops behind him. He spun around, and panicked as he watched them try to drag Cloud away.

"Cloud!" he shouted, but knew it wouldn't do any good. Cloud's mind was in another place.

Zack turned again only to see men at yet a third location. He was surrounded, and Cloud was in serious danger. He cursed, then focused on the group directly in front of him. He knew he would have to make quick work of these grunts. _I'm not gonna get caught again. They're not gonna take you either, Cloud._

He took them down one group at a time, then ran to Cloud's side where a single infantrymen was trying his best to drag Cloud out of the town. Zack pointed his sword at the man, and was thankful when he retreated. Zack stared at Cloud's still slumped-over form. Then it hit him like a heat wave, and he fell to one knee. He couldn't even pinpoint what exactly _it_ was. Exhaustion, maybe?

"Whoa... What's wrong with me today?" Zack asked, aloud. It hadn't been easy fighting off those infantrymen, and it should have been a piece of cake for an experienced SOLDIER like him.

When he got his strength back, he went and knelt by Cloud's side. Zack looked into his eyes, hoping they would stare back at him, but they didn't. Instead they seemed to look right through him. Zack knew it wasn't the time to get emotional, nor was it the time to wait around. They both needed rest; that much was obvious.

Zack lifted Cloud's arm around his neck once again and started the trek back up to the manor. He knew it might not be the safest place, but he didn't have a lot of choices. Besides, there was always a chance no one would think to look for them in the manor since it seemed too careless on Zack's part. Of course, Zack wouldn't stay there long. As long as he got a few hours of sleep, he figured he would be okay to move on.

* * *

><p>Zack got Cloud comfortably situated on the bed in the manor, then searched the place until he found a change of clothes. A SOLDIER outfit was conveniently tucked away in a dresser, and Zack considered it a blessing. He brought it back to the bedroom, and sat down on the bed beside his partner's motionless form. He placed a hand on Cloud's leg, wishing that contact would bring him back from wherever he was, but his condition remained the same. Zack closed his eyes, disappointed. <em>Could this be mako addiction?<em> he wondered. He had heard of it before, and knew it often took a while to wear off. _It'll probably just take a few days_.

Zack started to manoeuvre Cloud into a lying position, then he felt his stomach flip and his mouth go dry as a realization hit him: Cloud was _intolerant_ to mako. That poor being had been drenched in it, soaking in it. Zack paused for a moment, trying to figure out what that even meant.

Cloud's body had been taking in enormous amounts of something it didn't like. But, like all cases of mako addiction, it had taken in so much mako that it had actually become dependant on it. In Cloud's case, he had become dependant on something that made him seriously ill. And now... Well, Zack knew the rest. It made him like this. Lifeless.

A mako addiction case in a mako-intolerant body—it was an unhealthy combination to say the least. Zack suddenly felt lucky that Cloud was still alive and breathing. A shaky exhale came from his mouth. It was somewhere between a sigh and a sob, but he didn't let himself cry. He knew it wouldn't help anything. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought. Maybe Cloud would bounce back.

Zack lay Cloud down on his back, and began removing his mako-soaked clothes. Undressing him wasn't at all pleasant; it wasn't nice like it had been in the past. It felt wrong. The last time he had seen Cloud's unclothed body had been at the most important and heartfelt point in their relationship. There had been so much love that night. It had surrounded them. They had been breathing it.

Now, seeing that body broke Zack's heart. He knew Cloud couldn't feel him there, or see him, or even hear him. Zack tried to ignore the tears that were fighting to break free, and he began drying Cloud's damp body with a blanket he'd found. He stopped when he noticed a long, thin line in the centre of Cloud's chest—a scar. It only took Zack a minute to realize where the boy had gotten it. _Sephiroth_. His stomach turned at the thought of the man's long katana cutting its way into Cloud's slender body.

Zack lowered his head, and let his lips trace over that scar, as if that would take away all the pain it had once given Cloud. The SOLDIER waited again for the body below him to move, to make a sound, to do anything. He sighed when it didn't, and raised his head back up. Maybe Cloud was just tired._ But wait... If that injury has already become a scar, then we must have been in that lab for quite some time. Weeks, maybe? Or maybe even months? _Zack wasn't sure how long a wound like that would take to heal, but by the look of it, he and Cloud had been out of it for longer than he'd first thought.

Zack continued his work, drying Cloud off, then dressing him in the musty SOLDIER outfit. Musty was better than mako-soaked, at least.

"It may not smell very good, but we can't be too picky right now," Zack said. When he had finished, he sat back, and stared at the boy's new uniform. He smiled. _1__st__ class SOLDIER. That's what Cloud always wanted, right? _

"Looks pretty good on you." Zack tried to keep his voice from cracking. He was sure his fatigue was making it harder to control his emotions.

He checked the doorknob to make sure it was locked, then he tucked Cloud in under the bed covers and crawled in beside him. Zack's arms weaved their way around Cloud's cold body, and he rested his head on top of the blond's.

"Let's rest for a few hours. Then we'll move out at nightfall. We'll be harder to spot that way," Zack whispered. He kissed Cloud's forehead, and sighed, closing his eyes.

"Sleep well. You'll feel better in a little while." He only wished saying those words would make it so.

* * *

><p>They travelled for three days, resting by day and walking by night. Zack felt himself getting stronger as time went on and he hoped he would be back to his normal self before very long. Cloud, however, stayed exactly the same. He didn't move, or make a sound. Zack made sure Cloud got some water every day, but knew neither of them could go much longer without anything to eat. Zack was famished, and though he wasn't sure whether or not Cloud got hungry in this state, he figured he'd better feed him anyway. He didn't want him to starve.<p>

They made it to Rocket Town by the end of their third day travelling, and Zack dashed into one of the shops to buy a couple of loaves of bread, and a few canteens of water. Zack knew they were taking a risk by staying at the inn there, but he needed a decent sleep and a place where he could collect his thoughts and come up with a plan. He had no idea how far or for how long Shinra would chase them, but it was quite clear to him that they had caused Shinra one hell of a lot of trouble when they had escaped; those infantrymen back in Nibelheim had certainly indicated that.

Once they had made it safely into their room at the inn, Zack sat on the bed beside Cloud and held him with one arm around his shoulders for support. With his free hand, he broke off tiny pieces of the bread that he'd bought, and fed them to his comatose partner. It was difficult. He had to put the food in the boy's mouth, and wait until he swallowed on his own, which usually took a while. Sometimes Zack had to gently tip his head back, or give him a sip of water just to get him to down the bread, but Zack had an awful fear of choking him that way. It was a slow and scary process, but Zack somehow managed to get Cloud to eat a decent amount.

After he and Cloud had both eaten, Zack flipped open his phone and checked the messages. His eyes widened in surprise at the number of them. It made him reconsider once again how long they had been in the lab. He scrolled through the messages, most of them from Kunsel, asking him where he was. He clicked forward to see another of Kunsel's messages, and his blood seemed to freeze in his veins for a moment.

_Got an announcement from General Affairs that you were killed in action_.

Zack swallowed hard. If Shinra reported such a thing, they must not care whether he made it back alive. He clicked to another.

_A whole batallion of infantrymen has been called in. They're coming after you in crazy numbers. Man, what in the hell did you do to deserve this?_

That was when Zack realized what Shinra's game rules were. It was either surrender or be killed. He snapped his phone shut in a rage, and put a hand to his head, his eyes tightly shut. Everything seemed so surreal. It felt like only days ago he and Cloud had been living a happy life together at Shinra. Now, Cloud was as useless as a rag-doll and they were fighting for their lives.

Zack hardly even had the slightest clue as to what was going on. He didn't know why they had been in the lab, or how long they had been there, or why they were wanted back, or why _they_ had been chosen for whatever it was Shinra wanted. Zack wasn't even sure why he had concluded that Shinra was behind everything in the first place. Perhaps it was the infantrymen attack in Nibelheim. Perhaps it was even the vague memory he had of Professor Hojo after the battle with Sephiroth. But his conclusion was certainly correct; Kunsel's e-mails confirmed it.

One thing that concerned Zack more than anything was the fact that only three days after their escape, a whole batallion had been called in to take care of them. Just what kind of test subjects were they? Why were they so important? And what was Zack going to do to prevent them from getting caught?

Zack let his head fall into his hands. He still didn't feel like himself. He still felt weak, not to mention a little disoriented. And now, more than anything, he felt defeated. He was a part of something he didn't understand. He was running, but he hardly knew what he was running from. He wondered if he should even be trying to hide from Shinra. He didn't even know if it was possible. The company seemed more capable of achieving its goals now than it ever had. Perhaps that was just because of everything the company had put Zack through over the past little while.

Zack turned to stare at his partner for a long moment. All that frustration, rage, and confusion... All those emotions were fierce, powerful, but so was that bond he shared with Cloud. Even if things didn't make sense right now, his love for Cloud did. That alone made it easier to want to fight a little longer. He couldn't surrender yet. He couldn't give up if there was still a chance of a life with Cloud. Zack smiled a bitter-sweet smile, and sat down beside him, pulling him into his arms and rocking him gently. He took in a breath and whispered to the boy.

"Where did we go wrong, love?"

* * *

><p>AN: I know, I know! This is a short chapter! I actually split this chapter into two chapters because I thought it would flow better. On the downside, you have to wait to see what was originally the last part of this chapter. On the upside, there are four chapters left now instead of just three. Again, there were a few parts in this chapter that were either from or inspired by Crisis Core. You can probably figure out which parts those are.

It's sad that Cloud is all non-responsive now. That means no more cute Cloud lines! Aww... And as always, thank you reviewers! You always seem to make my day! I really feel like this story has been dragging on lately. I'm sorry for that. I'm really busy which makes it hard to update as often as I'd like. I'd just like to thank everyone for sticking with it. I know, I sound like a broken record saying that every chapter. Haha! I really mean it, though!


	24. Chapter 24

Months passed and Zack continued to travel from place to place with the still comatose Cloud at his side. Zack lost track of how long they had been playing Shinra's little game of hide-and-seek. The days had started blurring together long ago. Things weren't easy; in fact, they were only getting harder. Zack had been hopeful the week after they had escaped from the reactor. He figured each day that passed was a day closer to Cloud waking up, but after more days, then weeks passed, Zack began to accept the fact that Cloud might need some help to return to his normal self.

Zack debated taking Cloud to a doctor, but decided against it since he knew Shinra would be looking for them. Surely, word had spread about their escape by now, and even if the townspeople didn't understand _why_ they were being hunted, they would probably still turn them in. After all, Shinra was powerful and people feared power.

The more time Zack spent with his silent partner, the more he lost his optimism. He still smiled at Cloud whenever he talked to him, he still made quiet promises to the boy that they would make it out alive, but he couldn't fool himself. He knew that sooner or later, the fact that Cloud was very sick would hit him, and when it did, he didn't know how he would deal.

During their time together, Zack had normally been the one to cheer Cloud up, to reassure him that the sun would always shine again, but right now, Zack wished desperately that Cloud could comfort _him_. He wished Cloud would kiss him like he did in Nibelheim, and promise him that he'd help him through this tough time. He longed for Cloud's smile, his voice, his touch, but every time he looked at his dear blond, he felt empty because he knew there was nothing inside his partner now—nothing he could reach, anyway.

After spending a few nights in Rocket Town—they had returned there after exhausting every other nearby location in search of a hideout—Zack felt like luck was finally on his side. He'd gone into a bar one morning to listen to the daily chatter, to see if there was any news about escaped samples or other Shinra news. Instead, however, a guy offered to take him and Cloud as far as Cosmo Canyon in his truck. Zack had introduced himself as a tourist and, to cover up Cloud's illness, claimed his friend had gotten incredibly drunk while they were there. He doubted Cloud would have approved of being portrayed in a bad light, but Zack was running short on excuses and they really needed to get farther away from Nibelheim.

So, that afternoon, they left Rocket Town, and made it to Cosmo Canyon five days later. Zack decided to stay outside the village, unsure of whether its inhabitants would accept human visitors. He'd never actually known anyone who had visited Cosmo Canyon, but he'd heard stories—though he couldn't swear on their validity—of dog-like animals living there, and Zack wasn't sure how friendly they were. At this point, it was better to be safe than sorry.

On their first night near Cosmo Canyon, Zack tucked Cloud away in a safe place—a recess in one of the great stone mountains that surrounded them—and walked down to the water. It was a far walk, but he really felt he needed to get a breath of salt water air. That smell had always made him feel so free, and he hoped it would help now, as he felt almost claustrophobic from being chased. He felt like Shinra was all around him, waiting for him to slip up so they could take him back and turn him once again into their experiment subject, along with his dear Cloud that he had failed to protect.

The sea breeze was certainly refreshing, but it was no help in relaxing Zack's busy mind. He had so many questions still swimming around in there, plus a plethora of unsolved problems piled on top of that. He didn't know where to go next, or how to help Cloud. He didn't even know something as simple as when their next proper meal would be. He also didn't know what experiments Shinra had been doing on them, or why they wanted to do so in the first place, or why they were being chased by the very company that had hired them, or who had broken him out of his capsule back in the lab.

Zack remembered the dream he'd had right before he'd woken up. First he'd dreamed of wings, beautiful wings that he wanted for himself. Next, he remembered actually seeing the glass shatter, and Angeal was in front of him. Then, he'd woken up on the floor. None of it really made sense. Angeal was dead, sure, but if it wasn't him, then how else could he have gotten out of a pure glass case when he had been in a mako-induced sleep?

Zack stared up at the sky, hoping his mentor was up there somewhere watching over him, guiding him.

"Angeal, what should I do?" he asked.

Zack broke out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps behind him. He glanced backwards, catching a quick view of the person, then cast his gaze back out over the ocean.

"Hey, Cissnei. Been a while," he said. He didn't panic. He doubted she would hurt him, and besides, if he played it cool, he would have a better chance of getting back to Cloud alive.

"Zack. The fugitive sample... is it you?" the Turk asked, from behind him.

"It would appear so."

"What did they do to you in that place?"

Zack closed his eyes. So, she didn't know. That ruled out the Turks for being involved.

"Well, this and that," he answered, honestly not knowing for sure. After a moment, he turned to face her.

"So, Cissnei, you're here to take us back, right?"

The girl seemed to recoil at his words, a look of deep guilt on her face. Zack knew she didn't want to hurt him, but she was probably under very strict orders. She said nothing, but turned her head away in shame. She couldn't look at him. They were supposed to be friends, yet here she was about to take his freedom away from him.

"Please, just walk away! I thought we could outrun the army, but the Turks are a different story," Zack shouted. He thought back to Cloud, hidden away so no one could find him, and he was reassured that running was the right thing to do. He and Cloud deserved a better life than what Shinra had ever given them, and he was going to do whatever he could to make sure they got it.

"Zack, I'm sorry." Cissnei pulled out her chakram, and got into a battle stance. "This is my job. If you want to escape, you'll have to—"

The girl paused for a minute, closed her eyes, then threw her weapon, which Zack easily deflected. The chakram hit the sand with a clink, and the Turk's eyes met with the SOLDIER's. The girl knew then that Zack was not messing around. Fighting her wouldn't stop him from keeping himself safe.

Cissnei took a few careful paces forward, but Zack kept his sword pointed at her.

"Step back," he ordered. She stopped in her tracks.

"Next time, I'll really have to—" Zack couldn't finish that sentence.

After all, he didn't want to kill her, but he needed to get that warning through her head. He and Cloud hadn't done a thing wrong. They didn't deserve to be hunted like this. With one last warning stare, Zack ran off to get Cloud, leaving a tearful Cissnei behind to wonder if she was really doing the right thing.

* * *

><p>"Come on, love," Zack whispered, pulling Cloud out of the recess in the rock. Zack knew how much Cloud had always loved it when he called him that, so it had become habit to do so even when he wasn't listening.<p>

"We're in a hurry, so I'm going to have to carry you for a while, 'kay?"

He picked the boy up, and lay him over his shoulder, keeping one arm up around him. Unfortunately, the fireman's carry was the best option. Carrying him in his arms was slower, and piggy-back style wasn't an option since Cloud couldn't hold on. It wasn't the most comfortable, but it had to do.

Zack walked for a bit until he found a new hiding location for them. He didn't go too far, knowing it wouldn't be safe to do so if there were other Turks around. He doubted Cissnei was alone.

He sat Cloud down in a grassy area with his back resting against a rock. Zack stared up at the moon for a minute. It reminded him of those nights so long ago when he and Cloud had watched the stars outside Midgar. He wished Cloud could see how pretty it was now, despite the circumstances.

"We'll rest here until morning. Then we'll leave at dawn." He drew his eyes back down to the blond he adored so much, and smiled.

"We'll be alright."

Zack spun around in surprise when he heard soft footsteps behind him again.

"Cissnei..." he muttered, staring her down as if she were Ifrit himself. He slowly drew his sword, and pointed it at her, only to realize she was staring past him, concern showing clearly on her face.

"Wait. He's... he's the other sample they collected at Nibelheim," the Turk said, softly.

"Why did you come here? I told you to go away." Zack's voice was stern, and he instinctively stepped in front of Cloud, sword still drawn, protecting him from any possible threat.

"He doesn't look well, Zack. Is he alright?" she asked. Zack didn't need to hear that from her. He knew Cloud's condition was bad, as much as he hated to admit it to himself.

"Mako addiction. Severe case." The words seemed to burn his throat.

"The experiments, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Cissnei took one long look at Cloud, then at Zack. Until she had seen who the other subject was, she hadn't realized just how hard all of this would be on Zack. She recognized the blond boy; she knew he and Zack had been close. She had seen him with Zack several times before back at Shinra. They were friends, just like she and Zack were, or at least _used_ to be. It dawned on her that Zack was doing everything he could to keep his friend safe, and she knew in her heart that she should be doing the same thing. She wasn't Shinra. She had a choice in what she did.

The Turk withdrew her phone from her pocket, and Zack threw her an awful scowl.

"Hey!" he yelled, and in that moment, he knew it was over. He had lost. But Cissnei raised a hand in the air, silencing him.

"Tseng, I've lost the target," she said, into the device.

Zack's expression softened, unable to believe what he'd just heard. Cissnei ignored the string of curses Tseng threw at her after that, and closed her phone, bringing her eyes back up to meet Zack's.

"That's how it is. So get away safely," she said, beginning to walk away.

"Cissnei... Thank you." Cissnei knew that Zack's words of gratitude were sincere. She turned around, and smiled at him.

"Here's a present," she said. She approached the SOLDIER once again and dropped a set of keys into his gloved hand.

"If you think you can trust me, then use it."

Zack stared after her as she walked away from them once again, and he smiled after her. He walked back over to Cloud and hung the keys out for him to see, despite knowing the boy wouldn't really look at them.

"Guess what, Cloud? I think we just got ourselves a ride," he grinned.

* * *

><p>Another week passed, and Zack continued his job of tending to and feeding Cloud as they travelled further, hoping to put a good distance between themselves and the Turks. They were able to cover greater distances more quickly with the motorcycle—conveniently equipped with a buggy for Cloud—that Cissnei had given him.<p>

Zack's spirits were lifted even more when they made it to a familiar area. He knew the terrain, he knew that country smell. Zack brought the vehicle to a halt and climbed out.

"Cloud, this is my hometown!" he shouted, running ahead to make sure he was right.

The piece of land he was standing on overlooked the entire town, and Zack could hardly contain his excitement. He looked back at Cloud, and then back at the town in front of him.

"This is Gongaga!" he yelled, throwing his arms up in the air.

He breathed in that country air again, and stared down at the village. He could see his house; he wondered if anyone was home. He glanced back at Cloud and his excitement died down a little. He'd promised Cloud he would bring him here so he could meet his parents. He hadn't expected they would be meeting this way—with them both on the run, and Cloud in this state.

Zack walked back to Cloud's side and brushed a hand through his blond hair.

"Maybe we'll save that visit for another time, huh? It's probably a bad idea to go to my house anyway."

Zack climbed back onto the motorcycle, and drove it to the abandoned reactor, parking it in a bit of brush so that it was out of plain sight. He shut the motor off, and leaned over to kiss Cloud's forehead.

"You wait here for a bit, okay? If it's safe, I'll come back and get you. I hope we can at least stay at the inn. We could both use some freshening up," he said, and with that, he headed into the town of Gongaga.

* * *

><p>Cloud's body felt heavy, like he had been drugged. His arms were tingling slightly, but he couldn't comprehend why. He couldn't comprehend anything, really. All there was was black. He couldn't see anything, couldn't even think anything—except nausea. He knew that feeling. It was extreme nausea, in fact, but his body seemed too weak to even get sick. His mind kind of flickered to life, however, when he heard a voice.<p>

"It's okay. You're safe now. Hollander's gone. The town's not safe, though. The Turks are there, but Director Lazard helped me figure something out. Genesis is gone to Banora. I've got to go there and end this crazy battle with him, then as soon as I'm done, we're gonna go get you some help. I was thinking we should go see Aerith. She's an Ancient, so she's got some special powers. I'll bet she can heal you better than any doctor could, and we'd be safe with her. She wouldn't turn us in."

The words didn't make any sense, but the voice did. Cloud knew it, and it soothed him. He kept listening, drinking up the sound rather than the words. It was nice, and it was familiar, yet, Cloud couldn't place it.

"I know it seems like all this travelling was a waste of time since it seems like we're going back the way we came, but after going to Banora, we'll get a ship to Junon. Then we'll head to Midgar from there. Makes sense, right?"

Cloud wanted to answer. The voice had asked a question, right? But he didn't know how to answer. He didn't know how to make a sound. Everything was so black, like that black was keeping everything in his brain and body from working. It was frustrating being stuck in the darkness like that, but he kept hearing that voice, and it relaxed him. Before he knew it, though, he couldn't hear it anymore, and he was stuck in complete and utter darkness like he had been for what seemed like forever. He wished he could remember how to scream. Maybe then that voice would help him.

* * *

><p>The town of Banora looked so different now since it had been bombed by the Turks. A large chasm sat in the centre of the land where the houses used to stand. A few damaged structures—mostly windmills—on the outer hills were the only remaining indicator that the place had once been a home to many inhabitants.<p>

The night they made it to Banora, Zack took Cloud inside an old windmill that was still mostly intact. A shelter even this shabby was a luxury after the many nights they had spent outside with nothing but the sky above them. Director Lazard insisted that he would keep watch outside, and Zack didn't try to convince him otherwise, wanting some time alone with Cloud.

The cool night breeze blew in through the gaps in the wooden windmill, but with Cloud's body in his arms, Zack wasn't at all cold. They lay on the grassy ground, and Zack stared at the boy's emotionless face. He smiled, and ran a hand down the side of Cloud's jaw, then back up his cheek.

"There's gonna be a big fight tomorrow, but Director Lazard's gonna take care of you until I get back. Then we're gonna go get you fixed up, okay?" Zack asked, picturing what kind of soft smile Cloud would have given him were he conscious. Zack's own smile faltered. He didn't know how long he could keep this up.

The SOLDIER sat up and pulled the boy into his arms again as he ran his fingers through his silky blond strands.

"Then we'll find a place that's safe, and we'll— We'll be together, okay?" Zack's voice was shaky, and he could feel himself starting to tremble. He knew Cloud couldn't hear him, but he wished so desperately that he would say something back, or touch him, or even just look at him.

Zack threw his head into the crook of Cloud's neck, and held him close, hoping that it would stifle his sobs. It didn't work.

"Cloud, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you come with me on that mission. I knew you might be in danger, but I never imagined it would get this bad!"

Tears were soaking Cloud's uniform, but Zack didn't even try to stop himself. It felt good just to let it all out. He had been holding back his anger, and hurt, and frustration, and all those other complicated emotions he'd felt along the way, for far too long.

"I know... I know, you'd already made up your mind... And then, when you told me those three words..." Zack paused for a long moment, and stared at Cloud's still face.

"I couldn't say no to you. I didn't want you to stay away after you told me you loved me... I never wanted you to be away from me," he sobbed.

"I never got to tell you... The night we went all the way... I've never felt more loved. That was the first time I felt like you needed me as much as I needed you. I just wish... God, Cloud, I wish you could hear me," Zack sobbed.

He kept his face pressed tightly against Cloud's neck, his tears wetting the boy's shirt and skin. Being that close to Cloud, even if the boy wasn't responsive, provided some comfort, and Zack was thankful for it.

He soon found himself wondering what Cloud would have said to him right then if he knew he was spilling his emotions out all over his chest. He wondered if he would have laughed at him, but knowing Cloud, he probably would have just hugged him back and continued to let him cry.

Zack chuckled then, and wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.

"I guess even SOLDIER have a breaking point," he said.

He placed a hand at the side of Cloud's face once again, and met his lips with his own. That was the first time he'd kissed Cloud's sweet lips since before all this experiment craziness had happened. Zack had always been afraid of what it would feel like for Cloud not to kiss back, but in this moment, it felt good, and for a second, everything seemed normal. Zack pulled away, and stared into those hazy blue eyes. They were a different blue than they used to be, but this was the first time Zack noticed. Those were mako eyes. They were a result of a horrible tragedy, but right now, they looked beautiful, radiant.

"Listen to me, Sunshine. I'm going to fight until we're free. I'm gonna fight for us."

Zack lay Cloud down again, then joined him on the ground, pulling his warm body close.

"Listen, if you need me in the night, don't hesitate to wake me, okay? I won't mind," Zack said, closing his eyes and listening to the night sounds around them. The breeze, the crickets, it was all so peaceful that Zack had no problem settling down.

Cloud was alert tonight, the most alert he'd been since the lab incident. He'd heard those words, known who had said them, and had even understood what they'd meant. He didn't catch everything Zack had said, but he'd heard most of it, and one thing stuck clearly in Cloud's still foggy mind: Zack was going to fight. That scared him so badly, and not being able to do anything about it made things even worse. But Zack said to wake him if he needed him, right? Well, Cloud certainly needed him now. He needed to stop him from fighting.

Cloud focused all his energy on that one word, that one name. He thought about it, how it would sound if he said it, how it would look spelled out. Then, he prepared himself, and pushed out a sound.

"Z—"

That was a good start. He could actually hear the sound, so he knew the word had made it past his mind.

"Zack..." he said.

There was silence. Cloud wished so badly that he could see something, but that dreadful blackness still surrounded him.

"Za— Zack..."

The SOLDIER's arms didn't hold him any tighter. No words returned Cloud's own, and Cloud realized that his voice was no more than a whisper. He tried again, he pushed harder, but his voice was no louder. He gave up then because he knew that whisper wouldn't be enough to wake Zack up. He tried to snuggle in closer to the arms that were holding him, but his body wouldn't move. Cloud let out a shuddering breath because that was all he could manage. If he had had the strength to cry, he knew he would have.

* * *

><p>AN: Oooh, Zack, you make _me_ want to cry along with you! Hey, everybody! Aren't you proud of me? It hasn't been two weeks yet since the last update! Yay! I'm sorry I haven't been replying to reviews as much as I have been in the past. Things are sooo busy. I wish they weren't. I love responding to your comments. It's so much fun!

Oh, yeah. The part where Tseng curses at Cissnei through the phone is actually a kind of inside joke that my friend and I came up with. I don't even remember how, but basically, we just said that Cissnei hung up on him without saying goodbye or anything because he was yelling a string of curses at her. Haha, it seems like more of a Cid thing to do, but I think it's funny.

Finally, a lot of people have been inquiring about the ending and begging me not to kill Zack. Everyone has made it this far, and I don't want to spoil the ending when it's only a few chapters away. But you guys have all been so awesome, and so many people seem to be worried about the ending that I will reveal this. This story DOES have an ALTERNATE ENDING to Crisis Core. I'm not going to unveil what that means, but yes, it has always had an alternate ending since I first wrote it. That being said, I reeeeeeeallly hope everyone keeps reading 'till the end! You've gotta find out what happens, right? Thanks everyone for your time, patience, and feedback on this story! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, especially the windmill scene. I love that part. 3


	25. Chapter 25

Cloud felt familiar warm arms around him, and his muddled brain knew that that meant Zack had made it back from the fight alive. He didn't know how long ago the battle had actually taken place. He felt like he had been out of it again for a long time. From the way Zack was talking to him lately, he had a feeling they were already on their way to Midgar.

He was right. Zack had been able to hitch a ride from a guy who was also going to Junon. The man even smuggled them onto the ship in his truck. Zack hadn't given him the full story of why they needed a ride—only that they were being chased by some people and needed to get home.

They stopped in Junon village the night they arrived back on the eastern continent, and stayed at the inn. Zack and Cloud stayed in the same room while their 'chauffeur'stayed in the one next to them. Zack was kind of exhausted. He hadn't gotten a proper sleep since he'd fought Genesis, and that was almost a week ago now. He figured tonight would be better since he had a real bed to sleep in, but still, so many things were bothering him. Like, what had happened to Genesis after he'd left him in Banora? And if he had defeated Genesis sooner, would he have been able to save the Director?

Zack also found his thoughts constantly travelling back to the letter he'd found... Aerith's letter. It was the only proof he had of how much time had passed since the incident in Nibelheim. So, Aerith had been sending him letters for four years...Four years he had spent in that lab with Cloud, unconscious. It was so difficult to believe, yet it was even more difficult to believe that no one had come to rescue them in all that time. Zack wondered whether Shinra was always that good at hiding things. Maybe they always had things going on behind closed doors, secret operations that only a select few knew about.

Zack paced the room of the inn for a long, long while, trying to block out those pesky thoughts, but to no avail. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep yet. So many things were swimming around in his head, but in this moment, one stuck out more than any of them... Something that had happened back in Banora.

"_Did it ever occur to you that he might never get better?" Lazard had asked, referring to the boy Zack was carrying. In all honesty, it _had_ occurred to Zack, but he couldn't let himself think that way. Never seeing that smile, or hearing that laugh... Never feeling Cloud's arms tight around his body, or his timid kisses... It made him sick to think about. Zack paused a minute, and cleared his throat.  
><em>"_That's not gonna happen," he answered._

Zack punched his fist into his opposite hand. He had meant what he'd said. He never wanted to give up on Cloud, not ever. He loved him, and he believed in him. He would take him wherever he needed to go to get him the help he needed.

Aside from doing that, though, Zack had no idea how he could help his beloved partner. All he ever really did was talk to him, and Zack wasn't even sure if that was working in any way. He wished _he_ had the power to heal Cloud. He wished he could be the one to help his partner out of whatever world he was currently in.

Zack cursed quietly. He knew Aerith really was their best bet, but getting into the city would be tricky. And even then, Aerith might not be able to bring Cloud back to him. Maybe Cloud really was gone. Maybe everything that had made him the person he was had been lost during the experiments. Zack turned his head to stare at his motionless partner on the bed. Maybe Cloud really was empty.

Zack punched his hands together again in frustration. He couldn't think that way. Zack went into the bathroom, and wet a towel, wringing it out some before he returned to the bedroom. He sat down beside Cloud, who was sitting against the headboard of the bed. Zack gently dabbed the towel at his face, cleaning off the few days' worth of dirt that had collected on it.

"Here. This will probably feel a lot better," Zack said, continuing his gentle cleaning. He washed each of Cloud's cheeks first, then kissed them both when he'd finished.

"Listen to me, okay? I know this sickness has really got you in a bad state, but it won't last forever. You're strong, Cloud. You beat Sephiroth on your own, remember? Getting over this should be easy," he said, now getting the dirt off his partner's forehead.

"I know you can beat this," he whispered. He finished with Cloud's face, and quickly threw the towel into the bathroom sink before tucking Cloud into bed, and lying down beside him.

Cloud was alert again, hearing every word, and he fought so hard against that blackness. He wanted to break free, to beat it like Zack said he could, but every time he fought, the blackness seemed to fight back harder, and he would slip further away from the place he wanted to reach. He wanted to get to Zack, and he refused to stop fighting until he did.

* * *

><p>Luxiere was startled by the knock on his door. He rarely had visitors. He popped his last bite of ham sandwich into his mouth, and brushed his hands together to rid them of crumbs before going to open the door.<p>

"Um, can I help you?" Luxiere asked, staring at what could have been a reflection of himself. Another 2nd, clad in full SOLDIER gear stood in front of him. The man pushed his way into Luxiere's apartment without hesitation.

"Close the door," the intruder ordered. Luxiere did so, then turned to the man, arms waving.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You're a filthy rat, you know that?" the unknown 2nd said. Luxiere stared at him incredulously.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"Kunsel," the man said, removing his helmet to reveal stunning red hair that came to his chin and curled under, stylishly framing his face.

"A friend of Zack's. I'm sure you've heard of me," Kunsel said.

"Uh, yeah. But what are you doing here?" Luxiere asked, ready to give this guy a piece of his mind for barging in like that.

"You set them up, didn't you? Cloud and Zack?" Kunsel asked.

"Huh?"

"They've been missing for four years, and lately there have been rumours going around about escaped samples. Your name has often come up in relation."

"What? How do you know?"

"Word gets around. Are you denying it?" Kunsel demanded.

"Hell, yes!" Luxiere said, pounding his fist against the nearest wall. He ignored the pain searing through his knuckles, and stared at the other 2nd, furious.

"Oh, yeah? Let's see... Becoming SOLDIER was a big deal for you, wasn't it? It is for a lot of people. But if you had to choose between following orders from your new boss, or keeping your friends safe, which would it be?"

"My friends... I would keep them safe," Luxiere said, though his head hung low and his voice had gotten significantly quieter.

"Then how come you sent Zack a message saying to surrender so you can turn them in and get promoted?" Kunsel asked, holding out a phone for the man to see. Luxiere's eyes widened, and he checked his pockets madly.

"How did you get that?"

"Swiped it from you the minute I walked in the door," Kunsel replied, tossing the phone in the air and catching it. He leisurely walked across the kitchen and took a seat in one of the chairs there.

"Why don't you have a seat?" Kunsel asked, motioning to the empty seat across the table from him, making Luxiere feel like a stranger in his own home.

Kunsel flipped the phone around in his hand, watching the man across from him. Luxiere was trembling, but he didn't know if it was caused by his anger or his guilt. He couldn't argue with Kunsel while he had such a feeling of discontentment, so he gave in, and sat down.

"What do you want from me?" Luxiere asked, looking defeated.

"Cloud was your friend, wasn't he?" Kunsel asked. His voice was calm, soft. He figured he might as well _try_ not to be so hostile. He might having better luck getting through to the guy.

"Yeah."

"Was Zack your friend?"

"Uh-huh."

"What did Heidegger want with them? And what did you tell him?" Kunsel waited patiently as the guy across the table formed a response.

"Heidegger and Professor Hojo were working together. Heidegger wanted stronger SOLDIERS and Hojo was experimenting with mako. He was trying to make something called a pure S cell. And I think he was also trying to make Zack into Heidegger's super-SOLDIER. And Cloud..." Luxiere broke off, and lay his head in his hands.

"What? Why did they want Cloud?" Kunsel coaxed, knowing he was getting somewhere.

"Cloud was intolerant to mako. Hojo wanted to see what would happen to a mako-intolerant being if it were to take in a large amount. That's all I know, man. They were doing, like, a million experiments at once."

"Wait, so you recommended Cloud as their candidate, didn't you?"

"I—"

"Didn't you?"

"Hojo knew about his intolerance already. That's why I got promoted in the first place... So I could give him and Heidegger the info they wanted," Luxiere admitted, looking dreadfully ashamed.

"And as for Zack... I told them he would be a good subject as well because he and Cloud would most likely be caught together. Hojo agreed and said he'd already done some field test with Zack, and knew he could withstand some type of substance that most people couldn't survive." Kunsel was silent for a minute, trying to figure out why that sounded so familiar.

"Wait a sec. When Zack was attacked during his mission to Fort Condor that time... That was under Hojo's orders?" Kunsel asked. Luxiere shrugged. He honestly didn't know anything about that. It had been before he was in SOLDIER, but he did remember the awful shape Zack had come back in after that.

Kunsel remained silent, looking deep in thought, and Luxiere fidgeted in his seat.

"Are you done interrogating me?"

"No," Kunsel replied, simply.

"What else do you want?"

"Do you regret any of it?" Luxiere felt like the 2nd's gaze was penetrating him, seeing every inch of his guilt.

"Of course, I do. Every day I wish I had done things differently."

"Then why aren't you doing anything to help them?" Kunsel asked.

"I don't know how!" Luxiere hated the emotions that were overcoming him now. Pain, fury, hurt, guilt—he hated them all, and he knew if he had just made wiser decisions, he could have prevented all this.

"Look, I want you to get out of my apartment! You had no business coming in here and accusing me of things! You think I don't feel bad about all this? Guess again!" Luxiere shouted, standing up from the table.

"Hey, I didn't come here to make you feel bad," Kunsel said, getting up as well, leaving Luxiere's phone on the table.

"Then what did you—"

"For help," Kunsel sighed. Luxiere stared at him, not knowing why the man would possibly need from him.

"I need your help. _Your friends_ need your help," Kunsel repeated.

"I don't understand."

Kunsel walked a few paces towards Luxiere's living room, trying to figure out the best way to put his thoughts into words. Finally, he faced Luxiere again.

"I heard a rumour today. Apparently, the escaped samples were sighted near Midgar. Three quarters of the company's infantry unit—that's about three hundred men—have been sent out to eliminate them."

"Eliminate?"

"Yeah. Shinra's frickin' sick of chasing them." Both were silent for a minute, staring at the floor, the walls, anything but each other.

"Look, I know I seem like I know a lot, but this time, I don't have all the answers. I don't know all of what went down in Nibelheim, or with you and your boss, or even what's gonna happen to Zack and Cloud. But I am going outside Midgar to find them this afternoon, and I'll go alone if I have to. But it would be really good if I had some backup," Kunsel said, watching the other man now, who seemed to be struggling with the information.

"You want me to help fight off the battalion?" Luxiere asked.

"I need you to help get our friends out of there safely. Whether that means fighting or hiding them or whatever, I guess we'll know when we get there. But I need to know that you're not gonna betray them again." Kunsel's voice was firm, but he hoped it would convince the man to come with him.

Luxiere looked up at him, and then back down at the floor. He took in a breath, part of him ready to accept the chance to help them, but another part of him—one that was full of fear—tried to convince him otherwise.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I can't do it."

"Why the hell not?"

"Everything I did was to get to where I am now. If I help them, I will be going against my boss's orders, and I can pretty much guarantee that my SOLDIER status will be taken away quicker than you can blink," Luxiere said, slumping down in his chair again.

"Where you are now... Yeah. You're a 2nd class SOLDIER in an empty apartment who thinks he's too good for everyone else. You betrayed two of your friends, and now you're living in guilt. Hmm, yeah, I can see why you wouldn't want to give that up," Kunsel said, the cruel sarcasm hitting Luxiere like a brick. Needless to say, it hurt.

"Will you leave now? Please?" Luxiere almost pleaded.

"Fine, whatever," Kunsel snorted, heading for the door.

He stopped, though, with his hand on the doorknob, and looked back at the man at the table. Luxiere's head was in his hands again, and he was shaking. Kunsel sighed, and closed his eyes. Maybe he had gone too hard on him. Maybe Luxiere really did want to help them, but felt he couldn't. Maybe he wished he could take it all back, and ask them for forgiveness, but didn't know how. Kunsel realized that he was just a guy who had made a mistake, and no one could really blame him for that.

"Hey, I'm sorry about all this. I really wish you would have come with me, though," he said. Luxiere looked up from the table.

"Yeah, well, I don't know how much help I'd be. They'd probably never forgive me, even if I did show up," he replied.

"Maybe not, but who knows? It would at least get you on the path of forgiveness, and that's a step in the right direction," Kunsel smiled. "Anyway, I need to get going."

Luxiere watched as Kunsel opened the door. He peered out into the hallway, then turned around once more.

"You know," Kunsel started. "Sometimes being a true SOLDIER is about more than just following orders. It's about following instincts, and doing what's right. That's how all the good SOLDIERs do their jobs anyway. Angeal, Zack, Sephiroth... As 2nds, we should try to follow in their footsteps."

Kunsel walked out the door then, closing it behind him, and Luxiere kept his eyes on the spot where he had disappeared. Redemption, forgiveness, maybe that was all he really wanted. Being in SOLDIER had been a goal, a dream, but there were other ways to find happiness. Cloud had showed him that.

Luxiere bolted up from the table, and threw open the door of his apartment.

"Hey, Kunsel!" he shouted down the hall. The other 2nd looked back at him and smiled.

"Wait up!"

* * *

><p>"You... you knew?" Cissnei repeated. Her breath felt sticky in her lungs, like it wouldn't come out right.<p>

"I'm afraid so," Tseng answered. The noise of the helicopter was loud, but the two kept their voices loud enough to still be audible. Cissnei was clutching her hands together so tightly that it was uncomfortable.

"How come you didn't try to save them? Zack was your friend," she said.

"He was a _co-worker_, and my work at Shinra cannot collide with personal affairs."

Cissnei was silent. She had trusted her boss, trusted that when it came right down to it, he would go out of his way to protect Zack like she had, but she had been so terribly wrong. If she had known about the experiments for as long as Tseng had, she certainly would have done something sooner.

"I want them both alive. It's my way of trying to make things right. We're going to save Zack's life," Tseng said.

"By making him surrender? I doubt he'll see it that way. Sending him back to the lab isn't really saving him," Cissnei muttered, folding her arms. She wanted to cry, but she knew she shouldn't in front of her boss.

"It's not a great situation, I agree. If I were able to suggest an alternative, I would, but the company wouldn't allow it. The conditions are set. Surrender, or be killed by the army," Tseng explained. Cissnei shut her eyes. She didn't want to think or hear such things.

"Should the company really be doing this? Don't you think it's wrong?"

"Of course it's wrong, but I stopped questioning what the company does a long time ago," the Turk leader replied.

Cissnei couldn't look at him. She stared out the side of the helicopter, and almost wished they would crash so she wouldn't have to hurt Zack anymore. She honestly didn't know how much more she could take.

* * *

><p>The sun was hot as it beat down on the 1st in the back of the truck. Zack had situated Cloud at the other end so they didn't look so much like a couple. He didn't know how kosher the driver would be with that kind of thing. Zack made pleasant conversation with the driver as they approached their destination. When they ran out of things to say, Zack talked to Cloud.<p>

"So, what are you gonna do once we get to Midgar? I guess we can't go get our stuff from Shinra. We'll need jobs, I suppose, to buy new clothes and stuff. First things first, though. We'll go see Aerith and get you cured," he said, smiling at Cloud as he spoke. There were so many things he really wanted to say. Like, _how 'bout we get a place together_? And _where would you want to live from now on_? But he assumed the man in the truck was still listening.

"Maybe I'll be a mercenary or something. What will you do when I leave you to fend for yourself? You know I'm ditching you as soon as you're all better." He watched the silent Cloud and grinned, laughing slightly.

"I'm just kidding. You know I wouldn't do that to you." He waited a long moment, staring up at the sky.

"We're friends, right?" Zack asked. The term seemed so simple, so meaningless. They were so much more than that, and Zack wished they could go back to what they used to be. He wanted to go back to the nights when Cloud cuddled up beside him in his bed, or when the boy actually returned his embraces. He didn't want his life at Shinra back because he knew what kind of atrocities that led to, but he wanted that perfect life with Cloud back.

Zack stood up in the back of the truck to get a clear view of where they were headed. The landscape was all familiar to him. Huge walls of rock were scattered across the dirt-covered terrain. They were probably still about a twenty-minute drive from Midgar, but at least he could see the city from where he was.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of fresh air. Just as he exhaled, he realized they had entered a danger zone. He ducked down, just barely dodging the bullet that flew towards him, and threw his body around Cloud, protecting him. This was it. The army had found them, but Zack didn't panic. He needed a level head to protect himself and his defenceless partner.

"Pops, park us over by the rocks! Cloud, ride's over," Zack said, his arms still protectively around his partner. The driver didn't say a word. He merely pulled over like Zack had asked, and let his passengers off. Zack managed to get himself and Cloud hidden behind a section of tall rocks, but he knew they wouldn't be safe for long.

"Dammit. I thought we'd be able to sneak in," Zack said. His heart was pounding now as he realized that running was no longer an option. His mind raced. The army was waiting for them, probably just metres away from where they were. He had to fight; there was no other way now.

He knelt down beside the blond and was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth several times, then closed it again. Anything he said now would scare them both because he knew it would sound like goodbye; that is, if Cloud were listening. He wanted the boy to know he loved him, loved him in a way he'd never loved anyone before. But he was running out of time. The army would come to him if he didn't go soon.

He stared at Cloud, unsure of what he should do. Kiss him? Embrace him for what could very possibly be the last time? Zack closed his eyes. It would be too hard on him. He would never be able to let go.

Zack gave a chuckle and smiled, and hoped Cloud knew that his smile was sincere. He hoped Cloud could hear in his laugh just how much he meant to him, and how happy being with him had always made him. He wanted to say the words, he wanted to tell Cloud he loved him, but he doubted his voice would let the words come out. Instead, he raised a hand to the boy's hair, and gave it a good ruffle. That was all he had the strength to do.

With that, he stood up, and swore he wouldn't look back. Despite his pounding heart, he felt relatively calm. That was a good thing, though. He knew he would be able to fight better if he wasn't in a panic. Zack headed off towards the battle that he had been dreading, that battle he feared he would be forced to fight, leaving Cloud behind. He wished he hadn't promised himself he wouldn't look back because he had an awful nagging feeling that he should.

Cloud wished he would look back, too. He urged his voice to work, to scream out Zack's name if that's what it took, but nothing came out. He raised a hand, a heavy arm with it, reaching out for that figure that was disappearing from his sight. Cloud gasped, then choked on his breath. He knew this was it. He needed to break out of the hold this sickness had on him, and he had to do it _now._

* * *

><p>AN: And so Zack charges off into battle...

Okay, so first things first. I'm kind of upset because I just heard about the changes that this site is trying to put forward. They're going to try and take down all the fics that have mature content in them, including sex, violence, profanity, whatever. There is a petition to stop this act, and there's also a forum about it. I think there are other measures they could take to prevent people from stumbling onto something they didn't mean to, or from reading things they shouldn't. Anyway, if you're against this act, please, sign the petition! If you can't find it, send me a message, and I'll give you the link. I think I'm going to make a deviantart account to put this story up on, just in case it gets taken off here. I'll let you know in the next update what that account will be.

So, those experiements that Luxiere was talking about: some of them are from the game, and some of them I made up. I'm sure if you've played CC, you can figure it out.

I guess that's it. I'm so worried about this purging of fanfictions that I can't really think straight. I'll get the next chapter up to you guys as soon as I can! Hopefully this story will still be here!


	26. Chapter 26

Even when Zack was a little kid, he knew what war was about. It was about loss, and pain, and purpose. When he had become a SOLDIER, he had come to understand what fighting was about. It was about protecting, and gaining something important. Now as he stood on the cliff outside Midgar, battling against impossible odds, he understood better than he ever did what fighting and war were all about.

War wasn't glorious like it was in stories. People died, along with their dreams and their ambitions. But what kept all those men fighting was that they had a purpose. Right now, every man on that cliff was fighting for something. For most of the infantrymen, the fight was about doing their job. For Zack, it was about his life, and the life of his dearest friend. He was fighting for their freedom, and he could never give up.

Zack wasn't sure how long he had been fighting. Time had no meaning now, and neither did the number of men he cut down. He hated killing them. He knew the men were just following orders, but he couldn't just let himself die.

Zack delivered blows, dropping countless men to their knees, but received wounds of his own all the same. Bullets penetrated more parts of his body than he could even count at the moment, and though the pain tore through him like a knife, threatening to break his concentration, he didn't back down. He ignored every bullet, every scrape, cut, and trickle of blood, and fought back with all he had. Even if they killed him, he couldn't give up yet. Not until Cloud was out of danger.

No matter how many men he cut down, there seemed to be no end in sight. Zack's arms were becoming heavy, and slightly numb with pain. He could feel blood running down his legs, down his arms, and chest. He could taste blood in his mouth, and sensed it trickling down his lip. He stumbled forward, lifting the great Buster Sword above his head. He frowned at the army ahead. _I won't back down._

The sky had turned dark. Fighting was so much harder now. Zack was moving slowly, so very slowly. His sword fell down on the enemies due to gravity alone. Zack was no longer in control of how the weapon fell, as he could only wield it for a short time before his strength gave out. _Cloud..._ Zack continued to strike, to hit, to cast, but not only was it getting harder to move, it was getting harder to breathe. There were several bullets in his chest now, causing him agony.

Zack thought it must have been by some miracle that no more men were emerging now. Probably only a dozen or so remained. Zack took in a deep breath, and launched into battle once more, striking and killing until only three men stood in his way. Zack staggered backwards, breathing hard, resting against the large sword that was set in the ground now. He clutched his chest, and pleaded with his body to move, to get rid of the rest of the men. He was so close to winning, but the pain coursing through him wasn't making things easy. The SOLDIER reached for the hilt of his sword, raising it up once more, but the infantrymen were one step ahead of him.

Their guns were drawn, pointed. Then they shot. All three of them released countless bullets, bullets that forced their way into the SOLDIER's body. Zack cried out, and fell backwards, his back hitting the hard ground, his mighty sword still held tightly within his fingers. It was no use now. He could see a chopper overhead. It really was over.

Zack focused on breathing, in and out, steadily. He hoped that as long as he did that, he would stay alive. He tried not to move as he saw one of the men come into his line of view, gun pointed. Zack knew a shot to the head would definitely kill him; if not immediately, then eventually. He tried to hold still, tried not to tremble, but he was—even being a SOLDIER—_scared_. He was still young, after all. He'd still had so much to live for. There was so much he would never see, never do. Zack thought back to his parents, and to Cloud, and to his friends. He hoped they would remember him, and he hoped dying wouldn't hurt too much.

Zack heard the man ready the gun, and he made a panicked noise as he waited for the shot to ring out. He closed his eyes as he heard the sound of the gun, but it took a minute to register that he didn't feel any additional pain.

"Hey, Zack! Save some of the fight for us, will ya?"

Zack didn't open his eyes at first. He figured he was somewhere between death and heaven now. _That's not actually Kunsel's voice. That's not possible, is it?_ It took Zack another minute to realize that if he was dead, he wouldn't still be in this much pain.

Zack opened his eyes to see that the infantryman was no longer above him, but two 2nd class SOLDIERs were. He wanted to move, but his body wouldn't allow it. He had no choice but to trust his eyes.

"You're gonna be okay now, buddy," Kunsel said, before charging at the army, out of Zack's view.

"Where's Cloud?" the other 2nd asked, pointing his gun at the remaining infantrymen.

"Luxiere? Is that you?" Zack struggled to ask, tasting blood in his mouth as he spoke.

"Yeah."

"He's safe... hidden," Zack replied, heaving a sigh of relief at his rescuers. He still wasn't convinced he was going to live through this, but it at least looked like Cloud would.

"Lux, start taking down the chopper!" Kunsel shouted, as he finished off the last of the men on the ground. Luxiere nodded, and shot off bullet after bullet at the helicopter until it started to smoke. Kunsel cast _firaga_ several times until the chopper fell to the ground in a burning mass.

"That looks like the end of them. You go check the area. I'll get the vehicle," Luxiere told the other 2nd before running off. Kunsel ran to Zack's side, and knelt down. He pressed a hand to Zack's abdomen where the bleeding looked to be the worst. Zack stifled a pained groan.

"Rough fight, huh?"

"You have... no... idea." Kunsel didn't like the way Zack was talking through those laboured breaths. He knew he should be checking the area for more troops, but he didn't know how long Zack would last like this. The 2nd whipped out his cure materia, and held his hand to his friend's torso, allowing the green magic to soothe his wounds.

"I don't really know what to say," Kunsel uttered after a long silent moment. Zack gave him a questioning glance.

"You've been gone for so long. Last time I saw you, you were one of Shinra's top SOLDIERs, and now you're—"

"I know," Zack said, forcing a smile. "I've been better."

Kunsel smiled back, but there was deep hurt in that smile. Zack was so good at making light of a situation, even when the situation was... well, _dire_. When Zack's breathing sounded a bit more stable, Kunsel got up from his position, and glanced around, looking alert.

"I'll be back. Gotta make sure it's safe. Just hold on, buddy," he said.

Zack heard his footsteps scamper off, growing fainter and fainter until he couldn't hear them anymore. Then he lay there, staring up at the sky as it threatened to rain down on him.

Every part of him hurt. It was going to take a lot more cure materia than Kunsel had to convince him he was going to live through this. Zack could feel blood trailing down his arms as he lay there on the ground. He blinked as drops of water began to fall, just as he had expected, causing the blood to run faster down his body, streaming down to the ground below him. He wondered what it looked like. He wondered if it looked nice, all that red beneath him. He wished he could see what a fallen SOLDIER looked like. Did he look proud? Did he look like a hero now? Now that he was broken, and dirtied, and bloodied?

Zack's breath seemed to freeze in his lungs when he heard the tiniest sound. He kept his breathing quiet so he wouldn't miss that sound if it were to ring out again. It was certainly the sound of something moving. Something crawling. Zack, quite sure now that he was getting his hopes up too soon, thought that those little sounds were being made by the blond he'd left behind the rocks. The little moans he made as he dragged himself up towards the SOLDIER, the sound of his oversized SOLDIER boots as they trailed in the mud behind him... _Could that be him? My Cloud?_

Cloud's heart felt like it was being torn apart at the sight. His Zack, his beautiful Zack, looked far from his usual self now. Blood looked to be seeping from every part of him, and Cloud hoped that it only looked that bad because of the rain's attempt to dilute it. Cloud wanted to cry right there, right then, because _his _Zack wasn't supposed to be like this. Zack was never supposed to experience anything so horrible, and Cloud was never supposed to see him like this. _His_ Zack was lively, cheerful, smiling. The Zack before him was so... Cloud had no words to describe it.

"Z-Zack," Cloud uttered, holding back emotions he didn't want his partner to see.

Cloud was sitting beside him now, gazing down at that beautiful, yet damaged face. At least Zack was alive and breathing. All Cloud could think of was that he _needed_ Zack to survive. Zack was his everything, his world, his love. He didn't care if Zack was marred by battle, if he bore scars the rest of his life. Cloud didn't care about any of that as long as Zack lived.

Zack opened his mouth to speak, but flinched as a sharp pain shot up his back. When it subsided, he tried again.

"You finally... You're okay."

Zack raised a hand to touch Cloud's face. Cloud held it there when he realized Zack didn't have the strength to do so. He closed his eyes, and hoped Zack didn't realize that it wasn't just rain running down his cheeks now. Cloud couldn't say another word. He was fighting too hard against his emotions, and knew only sobs would be audible if he opened his mouth. The mako still had him slightly dizzy and weak as well, making controlling his emotions even harder to do. Neither said anything for a minute as they basked in the moment. They were together now, despite the circumstances being nothing like they had imagined them to be when the final battle was over.

"You... go back to Midgar with... with Luxiere and Kunsel," Zack said, locking his eyes with Cloud's. Cloud panicked when he saw fear in Zack's eyes. He knew what was happening. If Zack was scared, then there was definitely reason for him to be, too.

"No. No, no, I'm not. You can't! You can't leave me now," Cloud rambled, helplessly. He gripped Zack's hand tighter and held it to his chest with both his hands.

Zack felt awful. All he could feel in that moment was bitter, heartwrenching guilt. He didn't want to leave the world behind, or have Cloud go on without him. That's why he had fought so hard for their freedom, for their future. But now that seemed like it had all been a childish dream from the beginning. How could it have ever worked out?

"Cloud, I need you to be strong." Zack brought his other hand up to brush Cloud's hair away from his face. Cloud closed his eyes, forcing water to fall down his face, and Zack knew then that he was crying.

"I can't. Zack, I can't."

"Cloudy, please..."

"I love you."

Cloud lay his head down on Zack's chest, his cheek becoming bloodied by the man's injuries, but he didn't care. Zack listened to Cloud's painful sobs, and raised his arm, patting those familiar blond, rain-soaked spikes as he rested there.

"I love _you_," Zack replied, hoping Cloud would never forget that.

There was so much more Zack wanted to tell him, and he hoped he had time. He decided Cloud should have his sword. It only seemed right. Angeal had passed it on to him when he had died, and Zack wanted Cloud to be the one to inherit it when he...

They both heard an engine then, and Cloud brought his head up to see. A green truck approached them, and stopped just a few feet away. Cloud frowned, and placed an arm over Zack's body, ready to protect him if need be. All this pain that Zack had gone through had all been for him—Cloud's heart felt like it might break at the thought—and he would do the same for Zack no matter what the cost.

"'Kay, let's get you two somewhere safe!" Kunsel shouted as he hopped out of the truck, followed by Luxiere and another man.

Cloud's expression softened, and he almost smiled as he realized that there was still hope. Luxiere and Kunsel were at Zack's side in an instant. Luxiere glanced at Cloud, and gave him a hopeful smile.

"You doin' okay?" he asked. Cloud nodded sincerely, grateful that his friend was here.

"This here is Johnny. He's gonna drive you to where you need to go," Kunsel said, pointing to the other man who was there with them. Johnny didn't look to be in Shinra garb, so Cloud assumed he wasn't a company employee.

"Hey, there. I grew up in Nibelheim, as well, Cloud. I knew Tifa and your family," he said, his brown hair dripping with rain. Cloud's mind was still kind of hazy, and he couldn't remember the man at that time, but he gave a grateful nod anyway.

"Zack, can you move?" Kunsel asked, putting a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Nng, not sure," Zack answered, attempting to move any limb that he could.

"I'd heal you up some first, but we gotta move now." Kunsel placed a hand under Zack's back, and kept the other on his shoulder.

"Lux, can you give me a hand?" he asked.

The other 2nd nodded, and took the same position on Zack's other side. In a few seconds, they had hoisted Zack up into a sitting position, despite the SOLDIER's obvious discomfort. Cloud watched him, concern in his face, but Zack gave him a reassuring smile, and Cloud knew he just had to trust that Zack would be okay. He hoped his partner wouldn't give up, not now that help had found them.

"Johnny, can you help Cloud to the truck?" Luxiere asked.

Johnny nodded, and knelt down, swinging one of Cloud's arms around his neck, and pulling him to his feet. With trembling legs, Cloud was able to make it to the vehicle with Johnny's help. The man opened the door, and helped Cloud into the passenger's seat.

"I'll be right back."

Cloud watched as Johnny carried over the large Buster sword, and put it on the floor in the back seat of the truck. Cloud was surprised that the man hadn't put it in the open back of the truck, then realized that having it inside the vehicle was probably a smarter move. If Shinra was still looking for them, they would recognize the weapon too quickly if it was in plain sight.

Luxiere and Kunsel managed to get Zack lying down in the back seat, sprawled out so he wouldn't be caused pain by being constricted. It had taken a great deal of time and effort to get the Shinra fugitives into the vehicle, but it seemed like everything would finally be alright. Kunsel walked over to the passenger's door, and opened it. Cloud gave him a curious stare when the man handed him a green materia.

"Make sure you keep using that on him," the 2nd said, giving a nod in Zack's direction. He then turned his head to look at Zack.

"Just keep holding on, bud. When everything's clear at Shinra, I'll let you know. You'll be travelling until you get to a safe place. Somewhere where Shinra won't still be hunting for you."

"Thanks for everything," Zack said. He outstretched a hand, which Kunsel shook.

"It's been a pleasure."

"Cloud, I need to apologize. When it's safe, I'm going to explain everything," Luxiere said, taking Kunsel's place at the door. Cloud stared at his friend for a moment, then gave a small smile.

"I'm glad you were here," Cloud said, his honesty making Luxiere smile.

The two 2nds went silent as their attention was grabbed by something above them.

"Dammit, the Turks!" Kunsel yelled. Johnny revved the engine of the truck, and he and Kunsel exchanged understanding nods. Apparently, they already had a plan.

"What now?" Cloud yelled.

"We've got it covered. Lux and I are gonna put a stop to this chase right now. You two are gonna get far away from Midgar. Johnny knows where to take you. You're both gonna see a doctor when you get there," Kunsel said, a hand on Cloud's shoulder.

"How are we gonna know what happ—?" Zack started to ask.

"We'll be in touch," Luxiere said, grinning.

The next thing they knew, the vehicle doors had been slammed shut, and the truck was taking off, tearing through the mucky earth. Cloud stared out the window as their friends stood on that cliff, waiting for the enemy to arrive. When they were out of sight, Cloud gave a worried sigh, and glanced down at the materia in his hand.

He turned around in his seat, and slowly, gently placed the materia on Zack's chest. He could feel tears stinging his eyes again at the sight of all that blood. He could feel Zack watching him, and he somehow managed to get up the courage to meet his gaze. Their eyes met, and Zack smiled, making everything suddenly feel alright. Not perfect, of course, but alright.

"I'm gonna stop and get some more materia as soon as we get a good distance away," Johnny said.

"Okay. Good." Cloud said, his voice shaky. "We're probably gonna need it."

"Until then, try to staunch the bleeding. There's some cloth and bandages in the dash," the driver said.

"Can you hold this?" Cloud asked Zack, referring to the materia.

"Yeah," Zack answered, taking hold of the materia, allowing its gentle healing to continue.

Cloud opened the dash, and pulled out some thick material that had been bundled up in there. There was a good supply of other cloths and bandages as well, and they looked as if they had been quickly tossed inside.

"H-how did you guys know to do all this?" Cloud asked, closing the dash and turning back around towards his partner. He knew he was going to get carsick pretty quickly like this, but keeping Zack alive and comfortable was the priority right now. He would tend to him, motion sick or not.

"Kunsel. Earlier today, he heard rumours that you two were nearby. He managed to round up that other fella and myself pretty quickly. Plus, he threw together that medical stuff you see in there. I honestly think he knew for a while that this might happen," Johnny said.

"It doesn't surprise me," Zack said. "If he knew... he would certainly be ready."

Cloud focused his attention to Zack then.

"Do you think the bleeding is worst here?" the blond asked, gently dabbing at Zack's abdomen.

"I'd say so, but... it's hard to tell," Zack answered, gruffly.

"You have to apply pressure if you want the bleeding to stop," Johnny reminded Cloud, when he saw in the rear-view that Cloud was barely touching the wound.

Zack watched Cloud's face. He could tell he was nervous of doing something that would hurt him, so Zack placed a hand on Cloud's and helped hold the cloth tight against his body. Cloud met Zack's gaze again. Zack smiled, and for the first time, Cloud managed to give a small smile back.

* * *

><p>Luxiere kept his gun pointed at the chopper as it landed. Kunsel readied his sword just in case. Both were surprised when the Turk leader himself stepped out of the aircraft, followed by the red-haired female Turk. The two glanced around at the infantryman graveyard around them, the girl looking horrified, and her leader looking indifferent. Helmets strewn everywhere, blood-smeared bodies on the ground—it was honestly a ghastly sight.<p>

"Where are they? The samples?" Tseng asked, walking towards the 2nds.

"Zack... Is he okay?" the girl asked. Kunsel glanced at Cissnei, her expression showing true concern. He lowered his sword.

"You're Cissnei, right? Zack mentioned you a couple of times," Kunsel said. The girl looked slightly flattered, but quickly tried to shrug it off.

"The battle's over. You can go back to Shinra now," Luxiere said, still keeping his weapon at the ready. Tseng looked unfazed.

"Where is Zack? Seeing you two here makes me believe that he and the infantryman escaped," the Turk leader said.

Luxiere glanced at Kunsel for a hint of what to do, but the look he received didn't calm his nerves any. He hoped Kunsel hadn't come up against these guys without a plan. Everything else he'd done so far had seemed so well thought out.

"That's right. Sometimes that's what it comes down to. Friendship. It's a hell of a lot more meaningful than just following orders," Kunsel said, glancing at Luxiere who nodded.

"Cissnei, you're Zack's friend, right?" Kunsel asked. The girl looked startled at first, then she nodded.

"Of course," Cissnei answered.

"And you... I know you're the leader of the Turks. You've got a lot of power and the President counts on you, but this is your chance to make things right," the 2nd continued.

Luxiere could have laughed. Kunsel was good at this kind of persuasion. Cissnei cast a glance at her boss, hoping that given this opportunity, he would make the right choice. Tseng was confused, but didn't let it show.

"Make things right? What do you propose?" he asked.

"Do what you Turks are so good at. Blow this place up. Bomb it like you did to Banora when that mission went awry, or like you do every time you want to cover something up." Tseng stared at Kunsel for a minute while he tried to make sense of the information.

"If we blow it up, won't that indicate to President Shinra that we _are_ trying to hide something? You said yourself that's what we do."

"Tell the President that it was the only way to kill the subjects. Say that Zack was too strong, and the army was almost completely defeated. There was no other choice but to wipe out everyone on the battlefield," Kunsel explained.

"In actuality, bombing the scene will hide the evidence suggesting otherwise. Correct?"

"That's right. No one can investigate and prove you wrong if the battlefield is destroyed. Besides, the President trusts you."

Tseng was silent for a minute. His hand was at his chin in thought. Cissnei stared at him from where she was, then took a step closer so they could talk in private. The male Turk turned his head in her direction.

"Tseng, you wanted to help Zack, didn't you? This may be your chance," she said, crossing her fingers behind her back.

"This was an extremely important mission. The subjects were to be eliminated or recaptured, but they—"

"Tseng, please. The SOLDIER is right. If we hide the evidence that Zack survived, then he and his friend will be free."

"I have always been loyal to this company," Tseng explained. "It's not easy to turn my back on Shinra."

"You won't be turning your back. This is just _one order_ you didn't follow. Sending Zack back to that lab isn't something you want to have on your conscience forever, is it?" Cissnei asked. "Besides, they've already escaped again."

The 2nds watched as the Turks conversed, their worries increasing by the minute, but they took comfort in knowing the girl was on their side. Tseng battled with his thoughts, with his loyalty to the company, with his conscience, with his knowledge of right and wrong, and with his friendship—yes, friendship—to Zack.

"It's only one failed mission," the male Turk finally said. "Cissnei, ready the chopper. We're destroying this place."

Cissnei looked up at her boss with a sense of deep respect, and felt all those concerns she'd been feeling for so long start to slip away. Luxiere and Kunsel exchanged glances of relief.

"What are you two going to do?" Cissnei asked the SOLDIERs.

"We're getting out of here, for starters. I'm not sticking around when the bomb goes down," Kunsel laughed.

"We're heading back into the city," Luxiere added.

"Right," Cissnei said, as she headed for the helicopter.

"Wait," Tseng said as the SOLDIERs turned to leave.

He returned to the helicopter momentarily, then returned with a medium-sized, glass-topped box. He handed it to Kunsel, who stared at it in confusion. It looked to be filled with letters. The box itself was covered in 'sealed' tape.

"What's this?" the 2nd asked.

"Letters for Zack. I'm guessing you'll see him again?" Tseng asked. Kunsel nodded.

"They're from Aerith. Make sure he gets them. All eighty-eight of them."

"You got it," Kunsel smiled.

* * *

><p>The cliff outside Midgar was enveloped in flames, eating up all the evidence that indicated that a battle had been fought there less than an hour before. Tseng was silent as they flew back to Midgar, and Cissnei knew this move against Shinra had been hard on her boss, but also knew that he was confident in his choice to eliminate the threat against Zack and Cloud. Not only was Tseng content with having saved two innocent lives, he knew that Aerith would also be happy to know Zack was safe. Just knowing that she would smile at the news was enough.<p>

* * *

><p>"So, where are you headed now?" Luxiere asked, as he and the other 2nd made their way into Sector 8. The place was so quiet. The Turks were out, there were no infantrymen on duty. Not to mention the rainy weather had Midgar's everyday citizens seeking shelter.<p>

"Not back to Shinra, that's for sure. I'll probably hop a train out of Midgar this evening. I hear Kalm's a nice place to live. At least if I live there, I won't have far to go if I ever wanna visit the city," Kunsel answered, as they scurried through the wet street. They were soaked now, and were looking forward to getting into some dry clothes.

"You?" Kunsel asked.

"I, uh... I don't really know," Luxiere said, giving a light chuckle. "Everything's different now. It feels like my whole world's been flipped upside-down."

"You going back to Shinra?" Kunsel figured he already knew the answer. Becoming a 1st was the guy's dream, after all.

"No, I don't think so. Not after all that's happened. Seeing Zack like that... It just makes me think that Shinra's not a safe place for any of us, you know?" Luxiere asked. Kunsel smiled, proud of the man's changed outlook.

"Yeah, I know," Kunsel agreed.

"I think I might go visit my family in Costa Del Sol. They'd probably like to see me."

"That would be nice."

They had reached Sector 1 by this point, and the train station was not at all busy like it usually was. Unfortunately, they still had to wait in the rain until the train arrived.

"You leaving Midgar tonight?" Kunsel asked.

"No, I'll probably stay in the city for the night."

"Sounds good."

"When are you planning to visit, um, you know who?" Luxiere asked, choosing his words carefully in case they were being watched.

"When the excitement around Shinra dies down a bit."

"Let me know when you're going. I'll go with you."

"Sure," Kunsel said, grinning.

A train pulled up just then, its breaks squealing to a halt due to the water on the tracks.

"Well, this is my ride. Farewell, Midgar," Kunsel smiled, glancing around him one last time. Luxiere nodded.

"It was nice meeting you. And thanks for the help this afternoon," Kunsel said, shaking the other 2nd's hand.

"You too. And, thanks for, um..." Luxiere couldn't find the right words. For freeing him? For helping him see straight?

"Everything?" Kunsel offered. Luxiere laughed.

"Yeah, I guess. Everything."

Kunsel stepped onto the train.

"See you soon, pal," he said, grinning. He saluted the other man who still stood on the platform. Luxiere smiled and gave a wave as the train doors closed. Then the train squeaked and squealed again as it was brought back to life, and took off down the tracks, disappearing from sight.

* * *

><p>Cloud awoke as the tires skidded to a final halt, tearing up the muddy ground beneath them as they did. He blinked a couple of times, trying to wake himself up enough to take in where they were. Lush green trees surrounded the vehicle, and Cloud could see a village ahead, full of wooden structures.<p>

"Here we are. Mideel," Johnny said, turning off the truck and removing the keys from the ignition.

"Will we be safe here?" Cloud asked.

"It was the safest place we could think of to take you. It's not near any reactors, and it's completely isolated from the Midgar continent," the driver answered. Cloud nodded, the knot in his stomach loosening a little. The infantryman turned around in his seat and put a gentle hand on the sleeping man's shoulder.

"Zack? We're here," he said.

Zack scrunched up his face before opening his eyes, but a smile quickly replaced that look of discomfort when he saw that precious being before him, moving, talking, looking back at him. Cloud knew what that smile was for, and he gave one to Zack in return.

"I'm going to get some help from the townspeople. I can't carry you both in on my own," Johnny said, getting out of the truck. Cloud nodded, and watched the man walk off towards the town, then turned back to his partner.

"How are you doing?" Cloud asked, though part of him was scared to do so.

Zack's torso was covered in tightly wound bandages to try to stop the bleeding. They had had to stop in two towns along the way to get clean cloths, and re-wrap the wounds. Zack's worsening condition had given them quite a few scares along the way, making them think that the SOLDIER wouldn't make it after all.

The bleeding had been hard to stop, and Zack had become pale and sweaty due to the pain and blood loss. Once they had finally managed to stop the bleeding and get Zack comfortable enough with the new materia they had bought, Zack had started to look much better. He had stopped sweating, and a bit of colour had returned to his cheeks, but he still didn't look well by any means. Cloud couldn't count the number of times he had thanked the stars above that Zack was a SOLDIER. If he hadn't been, it would have been literally impossible for him to have made it this far.

"I'm okay," Zack said, feeling worse than he would dare let on. "How about you?"

"Mm, tired. I keep falling asleep. And as expected, the drive made me kind of motion sick. The mako's probably making things worse, too," Cloud said. He yawned at just the thought of the days' long drive. He wasn't sure how many days and nights they had been on the road now.

"So, you remember having the mako sickness?"

"A little," Cloud answered.

Zack could see him staring at his wounded body, and he wished he could take his worries away. He knew that wasn't possible, though. Not until they had both been tended to by a doctor. Cloud turned away in his seat then, and Zack heard him sniffle. The SOLDIER raised his heavy arm to touch the pale shoulder in front of him.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't believe you would do that." Cloud's voice was quiet, weak. This was the first time they had had a chance to talk since they'd left Midgar. Cloud was honestly amazed he hadn't broken down before this.

"Huh?"

"You thought you could die for me... and I wouldn't suffer for it."

"Cloud," Zack said, hoping to soothe him, but he could see that the boy was trembling.

"You can be really stupid sometimes," Cloud whimpered, his eyes wet now. He felt a hand trying to reach his face, and he turned back to look at the SOLDIER once again.

"I know," Zack said, half-smiling.

"I don't care how much you love me," the blond said, closing his eyes and nestling his face into Zack's palm. "Never do that again."

Zack smiled.

"Here they come," Cloud said, pulling away from Zack's touch when he saw a group of people coming their way. Johnny was in front, followed by two men and a doctor. Cloud wiped his tears away before Johnny opened the door on the passenger's side.

"Okay, let's get you two inside," he said. The rest of the small group gathered around, waiting to see how they could best help out.

"Get Zack in there first," Cloud told them. "He's in worse shape right now."

The doctor opened the back door of the truck, and quickly examined the SOLDIER.

"These wounds look severe. He seems to be breathing fine, but we should get him in fast. We should be able to treat him if we do it now," the man said.

"What about the other?" one of the townspeople asked.

"Mako addiction," Zack answered. Cloud nodded.

"Our hot springs here are very close to the Lifestream. I've never treated any such mako condition, but we have been able to heal many patients with the Lifestream's powers. I have great faith that it will work," the doctor said. Though some worries still remained, many of Cloud's concerns seemed to vanish having had the doctor's speculation.

Beofre long, he and Zack had been transported to the town's medical clinic. Cloud had been thoroughly checked over for injuries, then had been told to drink some sort of antidote made from the spring water. It took a couple of hours for the doctor to tend to Zack's wounds, and stich and bandage him properly—two hours that left Cloud sick with worry. Finally, the doctor announced that Zack was in 'stable condition,' and both SOLDIER and infantryman were able to relax.

As they lay in the clinic beds, under the doctor's care, they were confident that they had finally made a right turn. They were by each other's sides, and it looked like they were going to survive. Their days of running and hiding were over. Perhaps after they recovered, they would start anew, living a life together like they had wanted for so long.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, so one more short chapter to go! And yes, everyone, I DID NOT KILL ZACK! Yay! Haha. By the way, everybody, here's my new Deviantart account in case this site does decide to start removing stories.

[h]ttp[:] k[h]-axel[].devi[ant][art].co[m]

Just remember to and remove the spaces brackets. Yes, it looks insane, but that's because the site just WOULD NOT let me put it in no matter where I put spaces and brackets. Haha. If it doesn't work, search me in google under "kh-axel" on Deviantart. I haven't put the story up there yet, but I will soon.

Thanks again to everyone who has been patient waiting for chapters. I've been kind of slow lately. I hope everyone enjoyed this one, though. I'm so sad it's almost over! If you have time, let me know what you think!

I was having some trouble getting this chapter up with the DA URL in it, so if you see the chapter coming up multiple times in your inbox or something, that's why.


	27. Chapter 27

It had been a year since the Shinra fugitives had first set foot in Mideel. Once they had both recovered enough to leave the doctor's clinic, the townspeople had been kind enough to give them a permanent place to stay. It took a while for reality to sink in, for them to realize that they were both safe, sound, and living in their own apartment together.

Kunsel and Luxiere had visited, as promised. They explained everything about how they had convinced the Turks to help end the chase, and Luxiere apologized properly for the wrong he had done them in the past. After they'd left, Zack had found a box full of unopened letters left on the table, and he spent the next two hours reading every single one of them.

The town of Mideel was beautiful. Palm trees, and other types of gorgeous green foliage surrounded and complimented the red wood of the buildings. At night, Zack liked to go outside—he and Cloud lived on the second floor of one of the homes—to watch the windmill spin and the hot springs ripple and bubble. It never took long before Cloud joined him, and they stood in awe of the view that they had never had at Shinra, nor at their respective country hometowns.

It had been a peaceful year, full of much love and joy. Cloud and Zack were accepted into the town almost immediately, and were treated like family by most. They loved the fact that the villagers were so tightly-knit. They felt at ease knowing that even if Shinra ever came here looking for them, the people of Mideel would keep them safe.

Not everything was sunshine and rainbows however. It had been a tough year for both of them as they learned how to live again after having gone through so much. Worst of all, they had both had to deal with Zack's lengthy recovery. For months, Zack had taken advantage of Mideel's healing springs, soaking in it for hours at a time to try to heal his numerous wounds that failed to get better. Eventually, he had stopped when there just seemed to be no more improvement. This proved to be hard on Cloud as well. With Zack less agile than he once was, Cloud took it upon himself to take care of Zack as much as he could, getting him things when he needed them, and doing most of the cleaning, cooking, and housework, as he didn't want Zack straining himself.

Despite loving their new home, Zack could tell that Cloud sometimes became restless. He always seemed to be busying himself with something. When he wasn't doing stuff around the house, he was usually helping out with odd jobs around the town, or even just taking a walk to clear his head. Zack knew Cloud still worried about their safety and activities involving Shinra. He kept up with the local news as much as he could, and while he knew it could be pure curiosity causing his partner to look into such things, Zack had a suspicion that Cloud had other plans than to stay in Mideel.

One night, Zack waited on the terrace for Cloud to come out, knowing he couldn't stand Cloud's secrecy for much longer. As usual, it wasn't long before Zack heard the door open behind him, and Cloud came to stand by his side. The moon's reflection was glistening on the water. The town was silent except for the occasional peep from surrounding night birds. There was a breeze, but it was quite warm.

"It's so nice out here tonight," Cloud said. He placed a hand on top of Zack's, which was resting on the wooden railing in front of them.

"I know," Zack agreed, but knew he couldn't stall. The suspense was killing him.

"Something wrong?" Cloud asked.

"Uh, well, I don't know. You tell me. There's been something on your mind lately."

Cloud dared to peek at Zack through the corner of his eye, but quickly returned to staring straight ahead when the anxiety started to pile up inside him. He didn't speak right away because he didn't know how to answer Zack without hurting him.

"Do you trust me?" Zack asked. Cloud stared at him now, wondering why Zack would ask him such a thing when the answer should have been obvious.

"Of course I do."

"Then please, tell me what's going on."

Cloud was silent for a minute, then he entwined his fingers with Zack's and looked his partner in the eye. He had to be honest with him.

"Sometimes... I still worry about what happened. And I know I shouldn't get involved again now that we're safe and happy, but—"

"Involved?" Zack asked.

"I heard about a group called AVALANCHE. They're fighting against Shinra, and... This world is dying, Zack. And it's all because of Shinra," Cloud said, and Zack could tell he was having trouble putting his thoughts forward. He looked nervous. Zack sighed, knowing where this was going.

"You want to join them?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking about it. I don't want anyone else to go through what we went through. We had to endure so much to get to where we are now," Cloud said. Zack felt like asking why Cloud would want to throw all that away, everything that they had finally gained, but he _knew_ why. Cloud was just too kind and caring a person to sit around while bad things were happening.

"Are you really going to go?"

"Would you come with me?" Cloud asked, and Zack averted his gaze. The blond wanted to kick himself for asking such an insensitive thing, but he had kind of forgotten about the circumstances.

"I can't really fight anymore, Cloud. My injuries never completely..." Zack stopped talking when he realized how badly those words seemed to be hurting his partner.

"I'm sorry, Zack," Cloud whispered. Zack pulled him into an embrace, and Cloud returned it, keeping his eyes fixed on the beautiful village before them.

"I love you. You know that. And if you decide to go, I'll support you," Zack told him.

"Zack, maybe we were never meant to live a normal life."

"Please, let me finish. Just promise that you'll come back to me after the fight is over."

"I promise," Cloud answered honestly, briefly tightening his arms which were wrapped around Zack's waist.

Zack broke free of the embrace after a minute, and started to slowly pace along the terrace; he wasn't as quick or as stable as he used to be. Cloud watched him, hoping he hadn't hurt him too much. He really did love Zack, and if he did leave, it didn't mean he was ending their relationship. He had every intention of returning when the fight with Shinra was over and the world had settled down enough for them to live a comfortable life.

"We've been through a lot together," Zack said, suddenly.

"Uh-huh."

"Missions, dates, fighting for our lives..." Cloud nodded, keeping his eyes on the ex-SOLDIER that was still pacing back and forth.

"It's been almost five years now since our first date," Zack said, stopping to stare at the blond beauty standing against the railing. "I love you so much, and I've been waiting for this moment for so long. I really want to get it right."

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked.

"I trust that you'll come back to me, but I really want you to know that I'll be with you wherever you go," Zack said. Cloud's heart started to race as Zack carefully got down on one knee, and withdrew a small black box. He opened it, revealing to Cloud a thick-banded silver ring with three tiny white stones in it.

"Cloud Strife, will you marry me?"

Zack couldn't describe the look on Cloud's face right then. First it looked like he was about to cry, then he was smiling. It was such a soft, beautiful smile, and Zack didn't think Cloud could have looked any more stunning than he did in that moment. Cloud fell to his knees beside Zack, and stared at the ring, his eyes brimming with tears. He gave a shaky chuckle.

"Yes," he said, sniffing.

"Yes?" Zack asked, just to be sure.

"Yes, of course, I will," Cloud said, giving a tearful chuckle.

Their eyes met, and Zack gave Cloud such a serene smile as he took his hand in his own. Cloud watched as Zack slid the band onto his finger. He stared at it for a moment, then collapsed into his partner's warm embrace, shaking with a joy more powerful than he'd ever felt in his life. Zack felt Cloud's arms weave around his neck. His heart was pounding, but it was a good feeling. He wasn't scared. He was at peace here, in this moment.

"Just stay a bit longer. And marry me, okay?" Zack whispered. Cloud pulled away from the embrace, and met Zack's gaze, his arms still around his partner's neck.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but c-can we wait? Until I get back? I want to be worry-free when we... I want it to be..."

"Perfect?" Zack asked. Cloud nodded. Zack leaned forward and kissed Cloud's cheek.

"Then we'll wait. And when you get back..."

"We will," Cloud promised, resting his head on Zack's shoulder. "We'll get married."

* * *

><p>Even as Zack watched his beloved partner leave the town of Mideel, the Buster Sword in hand, he knew he didn't have anything to worry about. Cloud was strong, stronger than he'd ever been due to the mako that had once made him so sick. He had the strength of a SOLDIER now, and his will to set things right would lead him to where he needed to go. It would be a lonely few months without him, but when his mind was finally at ease, <em>Cloud-soon-to be-Fair <em>would return. Zack knew he would always return.

* * *

><p>AN: So, there it is. The end. Awwwwwww! Cloudy and Zacky are gonna get married! So, anyway, yeah, there's the alternate ending for ya! Now that the end is here, I can reveal that that's why the summary to this story is written the way it is. Something like, "Will they be able to fight it this time?" Yeah. That was my way of implying that they would escape their fate that SquareEnix doomed them to. Haha.

So, what to say? How about THANK YOU one last time to everyone who read/reviewed/faved/tried/liked/loved/did fanart for! Haha, did I forget anybody? Thanks to everyone who supported me and/or this story in any way, as usual. It was so fun uploading this for you guys to read, and thanks so much for the awesome feedback and motivation you all provided me with along the way.

Now, I have some news. Over the past few months, I have been working on a sequel to this story (which is partly to blame for the slow updates lately). Before you lose your mind, it's not done yet, and I'm not sure if it ever _will _be done, but I'm gonna try. I just had so much fun writing this, and I'm such a Clack fan that it's hard to stop writing about them and move onto other things. So, don't hold your breath waiting for the sequel to come out, but maybe keep your eyes peeled for it sometime in the future. I'll probably upload it to my DA account as well. I still haven't gotten this one up there, but I'll try to do that sometime soon.

Well, I guess this is it. Thanks again, everyone! It's been fun!

Axel-KH signing off!


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